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Dead Man Don't Wear Plaid

"Bobby, listen, when you get this message, call! Okay?" Sam said into the phone as we get out of the Impala. "Is he still not home?" I asked him and he shakes his head. "How far could he get in that chair?" Dean asked as we enter the diner to meet a man who saw a murder by a man who was supposed to be dead.

"So, what do we do?" Sam asked. "Well...Guess we just do it ourselves." Dean said as we sit down at a table opposite a man. "Mr. Wells, why don't you tell us what you saw in your own words." I asked the man. "Call me Digger." Mr Wells said.

"Digger? Who gave you that name?" Dean asked him. "I did." Digger said. "You gave yourself your own nickname? You can't do that." Dean said. "Who died and made you queen?" Digger asked Dean and I snorted at this.

"Okay. Uh, why don't you just tell us what you saw?" Sam asked Digger. "I saw Clay Thompson climb into Benny Sutton’s trailer through the window. Couple minutes later, Clay walked out, and Benny's dead." Digger explained and I hold up a photo of Clay. "And, uh...Is this the guy you saw?" I asked him. "Well, he was all covered with mud, but, yeah. That's Clay." Digger said as I put the photo away.

"And you are aware that Clay Thompson died five years ago?" Sam asked him. "Yep." Digger said. "And you're positive that it was this guy." said Dean as he points at the photo. "You calling me a liar?" Digger asked, offended. "No, no, no. Of course not." I assure him but he looked at me, not like he was believing me.

"Look. Can you think of any reason why Clay Thompson, alive or dead, would want to kill Benny Sutton?" Sam asked him. "Hell, yeah. Well, five years ago, Benny's the one that killed Clay in the first place." Digger said. "Is that a fact?" Dean asked. "Well, yeah, so-called hunting accident. Now, if you ask me...Clay came back from the grave to get a little payback." Digger said.

"Go on." I said, intrigued, but then Digger looks over out shoulder. "Heads up. Fargo." Digger said as a female officer comes up to us. "Digger." she greets. "Sheriff." Digger said then she turn to us.

"Gentlemen. Ma'am. I'm Sheriff Jody Mills. I don't believe we've had the pleasure." Jody said. "Agents Dorfman, Neidermeyer and Flounder. FBI." Dean introduced us. "Welcome to Sioux Falls, gentlemen and ma'am. Can I ask you what you're doing with Digger here?" Jody asked us. "They’re doing their job. They believe me, Sheriff." Digger said to her.

"The FBI believes a dead man committed a murder?" Jody asked, giving us a suspicious look. "Look, we're just asking a few questions, Sheriff. That's all." I said. "Of course, if a dead man didn't commit the murder, then, uh, who did?" Dean asked as Jody eyes us.

"What'd you say your jurisdiction here was again?" she asked. "Our jurisdiction is wherever the United States government sends us." Dean said. "Oh, yeah. How 'bout me and your supervisor have a little chat about that?" she asked. "Absolutely." Sam said and he hands her a business card and she calls the number on the card

"Agent Willis, this is Sheriff Jody Mills…" she said after a moment of silence then she stops. "Bobby? Is this Bobby Singer?" she asked and the boys and I give shocked looks at this. Honestly, I was feeling a bit nervous, when people call Bobby it usually works but somehow this woman knows who he is.

"Bull crap." Jody said into the phone, hangs up and turns to us. "FBI, huh?" she said. "So, uh...So you know Bobby Singer?" Sam asked, nervously. "That is...a fun coincidence." Dean said as he chuckles nervously. "Here's what I know about Bobby Singer. He's a menace around here, ass-full of drunk-and-disorderlies and mail fraud. You understanding me?" she said to us, firmly. "I think we all can agree that you've made yourself perfectly clear, yes." I said to her, nodding.

"So, whatever the four of you are planning, it ends here. Now. Ten-four on that, Agents?" she asked. "Yeah." Dean said and Jody glares at us.





"You know how many times we called? Where have you been?" I asked Bobby once we made it to his house after Jody let us go. "Playing murderball." Bobby said. "What's that smell? Is that soap? Did you clean?" Dean asked as we walk in deeper into the house.

"What are you, my mother? Bite me!" Bobby yells. "Bobby, seriously." Sam said, exasperated. "I been working. You know, trying to find a way to stop the devil." Bobby said, defensively. "Find anything?" Dean asked him. "What do you think?" Bobby sneers.

"Bobby, it's just…there's a case less than five miles from your house." I said. "What, the – the Benny Sutton thing? That's what this is about?" Bobby asked. "You knew about this?" Dean said, confused. "Hell, yes. I checked into it already. There's nothing here." Bobby said. "Except a witness who saw a dead guy commit murder." Sam said. 

"What witness? Digger Wells?" Bobby asked. "Yeah. So?" Dean said. "So, he's a drunk." said Bobby, like it was obvious. "Well, what about the lightning storms? They look like omens." I pointed out. "Except in February in South Dakota in storm season. Guys, I thought it was something, too. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Bobby said.

"So who killed the guy?" Sam asked. "Take your pick. This Benny Sutton guy was a grade-a son of a bitch. There's a list of the living a year long wouldn't mind putting a cap in his ass." Bobby said.

"So, you're telling us...nothing?" asked Dean. "Sorry. Looks like you wasted a tank of gas on this one." Bobby said. "Great." Dean grumbles and I sigh at this.




That night, Dean parks the Impala near St. Anthony’s Cemetery and I turn to him. "What's up?" I asked him. "Isn't that the graveyard back there?" Dean asked. "Yeah. So what? Bobby already checked it out." Sam said. "And? What, Bobby's never wrong? Come on. We'll take a peek, and then we'll hit the road. Can't hurt." Dean said and I look over at the backseat at Sam, who just shrugs.

We walk through the cemetery until I see a grave with overturned soil. "Hey." I said as I point at the grave. We walk up to it and see that it is Clay Thompson’s headstone. "That look fresh to you?" Dean asked as he gestures to the overturned soil. "Yeah, actually." Sam said and I nod then we begin to dig up the grave.

Minutes later, we get to the coffin and open it to find it empty. "What is going on here?" I asked the boys. "I don't know, but something stinks." Dean said.

Later, we break into Clay Thompson’s house and began looking around when someone jumps on me. "(Y/n)!" I hear the boys shout as I fight the person and I push him to the ground. "Don't shoot me! Please! There's money in the safe." the man pleads. "We don't want your money." Sam said and I was able to get a better look at the guy and realize it was Clay.

"What do you want? Anything. Please..." Clay said, frightened. "You're Clay Thompson, right?" I asked him and he nods and looks between the boys and I. "Who are you?" he asked. "Um, FBI." Sam replied. 

"FBI?" Clay asked then his eyes widen in realization. "Oh, my God. This is about Benny." He said. "Wha…what about Benny?" Dean asked him. "He killed me! He shot me in the back! I'm supposed to let him get away with that?" Clay exclaims.

"Hold up. Are…are you confessing?" I asked. "Please. I'll go with you. Just…just don't wake my kids." Clay said. "Y-you'll go with us where?" Sam asked him, confused. "Jail." Clay replied, plainly. "Let me get this straight. You're Clay Thompson, and you died five years ago?" Dean asked. "Yes." Clay replied.

"And three days ago you climbed out of your grave, and you killed Benny Sutton?" I asked him. "Yes." Clay said. "So you are, in fact, a dead guy." Dean said and Clay shrugs a bit. "I guess. I – I – I don't know what I am." Clay said when a woman, presumably his wife, enters the room.

"Clay? I called 911." she informed. "It's okay, honey. These men and lady are the FBI. They're here about Benny." Clay tells her. "Why don't you come with us, Mr. Thompson? I think that'd be best." Dean said. "Dean." Sam said, exasperated.

"He's a monster." Dean growls. "He's a soccer dad." Sam said. "What do you want to do with him?" Dean asked Sam, who looks over at Clay.


Later, we walk out of the house with Clay when Jody and another officer intercept us. "Freeze! Drop your guns!" Jody demands and we raise our hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right. Hey." I said. "Remember the guy you said that was dead and couldn't possibly commit murder? There he is." Dean said as he nods to Clay.

"And?" Jody asked. "And? And you're welcome – for catching the undead killer zombie." Dean tells her. "Whatever he is or isn't that don't give you the right to shoot him in the middle of the street." Jody said then she handcuffs Dean.

"Shoot me?" Clay asked, confused and shocked. "You're free to go, Mr. Thompson." Jody tells him. "Free to go?!" I exclaimed, upset and confused. "I can't believe you were gonna kill me." Clay yelled at us. "You're a zombie!" Dean yells. "I'm a taxpayer!" Clay screams back as Sam and I get handcuffed.




"So, what? Sheriff's on the take?" Dean asked us as we sit in the jail cell. "Yeah. No. The zombies are paying her off?" Sam asked while I look through the cell door and see Jody and Bobby talking in the police station.
"Hey." I said to the boys and they look over at me. I nod towards Jody and Bobby and they look to see what I was seeing. "So, what? Now they're friends?" Dean asked, annoyed.



Surprisingly, Bobby was able to get us out of jail and we left the station and made our way to Bobby's house. Once we arrived, we get out of the car and head into Bobby's house, Sam pushing Bobby's wheelchair.
"Bobby, I thought the sheriff hated you?" Sam asked him. "She did till five days ago." Bobby said. "What happened five days ago?" I asked him. "The dead started rising all over town." Bobby replied and we all look at him.

"So you knew about this?" Sam asked him. "Yep." Bobby said, nonchalantly. "I think what Sam meant to say is, you lied to us?" Dean asked him, angrily. "Look, I told you there was nothing here. And there isn't. Not for you." Bobby said. "There are zombies here." I said, annoyed.

"There are zombies...And then there are zombies. Come with me." Bobby said and he leads us to his kitchen. "You want to tell us what the hell…" Dean started to say when we stop and see a woman wearing an apron walks to the table carrying a plate.

"Oh, hey. I didn't realize you were bringing company." she said. "It’s four a.m., babe. You didn't need to cook." Bobby said to her. "Oh, please! I’ll get some more plates." the woman said and she walks over to the cabinets.

"Who was that?" Dean asked Bobby. "Karen. My wife." Bobby replied. "Your new wife?" I asked. "My dead wife." Bobby replied and my mouth fell open.

"This is incredible, Mrs. Singer." Dean said after taking a bite out of the pie Karen had made. "Thank you, Dean." Karen said, appreciatively, while Sam and I give him a pointed look. "What? It is." Dean said, defensively. "It's great, Karen. Thanks. Could you, um, just give us a minute?" Bobby asked her and she leaves the room.

"Are you crazy? What the hell?" I asked Bobby, quickly. "(Y/n), I can explain." Bobby said but Dean jumps in. "Explain what? Lying to us? Or the American girl zombie making cupcakes in your kitchen?!" he asked, angrily. "First of all, that's my wife, so watch it." Bobby threatens.

"Bobby, whatever that thing is in there, it is not your wife." Sam said. "And how do you know that?" Bobby asked and I give him a look of disbelief. "Are you serious?" I asked him. "You think I'm an idiot, kids? My dead wife shows up on my doorstep, I'm not gonna test her every way I ever learned?" Bobby asked.

"So what is it? Zombies? Revenant?" Dean asked. "Hell if I can tell. She's got no scars, no wounds, no reaction to salt, silver, holy water..." Bobby lists off. "Bobby, she crawled out of her coffin." I said, firmly. "No, she didn't. I cremated her." Bobby admitted and I was taken aback by this.

"Somehow, some way, she's back." Bobby said, looking down. "That's impossible." Sam said. "Tell me about it." Bobby grumbles. "You bury her ashes?" Sam asked. "Yeah." Bobby said. "Where?" Dean asked. "In the cemetery. That's where they all rose from." Bobby replied.


"How many?" I asked him. "15, 20, I made a list." He said and he hands the list to Sam. "Uh, there's Karen...Clay...Sheriff Mills – her little boy came back." Bobby said. "And there were no signs? No omens?" I asked him. "Well, there were the lightning storms." Bobby said.

"That's what we said. What else?" Dean asked and Bobby pulls out a book and starts to read from the Book of Revelation. "And through the fire stood before me a pale horse. And he that sat atop him carried a scythe, and I saw since he had risen, they, too, shall rise, and from him and through him." he reads.

"So, what, Death is behind this?" Dean asked. "Death, Death? Like Grim Reaper death?" Sam asked. "Yeah." Bobby mutters and I scoff. "Awesome. Another horseman. Must be Thursday." I said, sarcastically.

"Bobby...Why would Death raise 15 people in a podunk town like Sioux Falls?" Sam asked, curiously. "I don't know." Bobby said, shrugging.  "You know, if Death is behind this, then whatever these things are...it's not good. You know what we have to do here." Dean said. "She doesn't remember anything, you know." Bobby said.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, confused. "Being possessed, me killing her...her coming back." Bobby said and I give him a sympathetic look. "Bobby..." Dean said and Bobby shakes his head. "No, no, don't Bobby me. Just...just listen, okay?" he said and we could hear Karen humming. 

"She hums when she cooks. She always...used to hum when she cooked. Tone deaf as all hell, but...And I never thought I would hear it again. Look, just read Revelation. The dead rise during the apocalypse. There's nothing in there that says that's bad! Hell, maybe it's the one good thing that comes out of this whole bloody mess." Bobby said. "And what would you do if you were us?" Dean asked him. "I know what I'd do. And I know what you think you got to do. But...I'm begging you. Please. Please. Leave her be." Bobby pleads to us and the boys and I share a glance.





"So, what do you think?" Sam asked us as we leave Bobby's house. "There's nothing to think about. I'm not gonna leave Bobby at home with the bride of Frankenstein." Dean said. "Then what do you want to do? Just walk in there in front of Bobby and blow her skull off?" I asked Dean. "If she decides that Bobby's face is the blue plate special, I'd like to be there." Dean said. "Fine. See what else we can find out." Sam said and he begins to leave while I stay with Dean. 


Dean and I were leaning up against the Impala, parked outside of Bobby's house, as I sat there thinking. This whole thing with the dead rising is creepy but then I start to think what if my parents came back. Would I be like any normal hunter and shoot them where they stood or would I be like Bobby and do everything in my power to keep them safe?

"You okay?" Dean asked me and I turn my head to him to see he had a concerned look. "Sorry, you looked like you were in deep thought." He said and I shrug. "I was just thinking..." I said. "About?" Dean asked me. "This whole ordeal with the dead rising...and Bobby and his wife....I'm just wondering, what would you do in that situation if John or Mary came back." I said and Dean stares into my eyes.

"Where is this coming from?" He asked me and I turn my head away from him. "I'm just...sitting here and thinking...if my dad or my mom ever came back from the dead, I don't know what I'd do. Part of me thinks I would take them out but...another part of me is like I'd never do that." I said then I turn to him. "What would you do?"

He thinks on this for a moment and says. "Honestly, dad would be pissed if I didn't waste him. And mom, I don't think I could harm her."

"What about me? What would you do?" I asked and I could tell he clenched his jaw at this and he looks down for a moment and looks up but jumps slightly back. I turn to where he was looking to see Karen next to me.

"Oops. Did I scare you?" She asked. "No. No. No. There's...nothing scary about you at all." Dean said. "Feel like some lunch?" Karen asked. "Uh...I'm good. Thanks." Dean said. "Yeah, I'm good too." I said. "Come on, there's more pie." Karen said.

"I don't think that Bobby wants us inside." Dean said. "Guess it'll have to be our secret, then, huh? Come on." Karen said and we follow her back into the house.



After getting inside, she gives us a slice of pie each even though we were basically surrounded by other pies. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that you like pies. Did you bake all these?" I asked Karen as Dean eats his pie. "I don't know what it is. Since I got back, I can't stop baking." she said.

"Yeah, when do you have time to sleep?" Dean asked her. "I don't. Must be the excitement." Karen replied. "Or being dead." Dean said, bluntly, and I look over at him and give him the what the hell? look. "I know you two don't trust me." Karen said.

"Why would you say that?" I asked her as I turn to face her. "Come on, (y/n). That's why you two are here, isn't it? Keeping an eye on me? I know who you two are. Just like I know Bobby's not the same mild-mannered scrap dealer I married. You hunt things. I – I'm a thing. I get it." she said.

"So then you know that me, her and Sam would never let anything happen to Bobby. That he's like a father to us." Dean said to her. "I understand. And he's lucky to have you looking out for him, Dean. But you're not the only one." Karen said. "Is that so?" Dean asked. "I remember everything, you know. When I died. That demon taking over my body...and the things it made me do. And Bobby having no choice but to...Well, you know what he did. But I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. The guilt. It weighs on him." she explains.

"So why don't you just tell him you remember?" I asked him. "He's my husband. My job is to bring him peace...not pain. If you were in my shoes, wouldn't you do the same for Dean?" Karen asked me as she gestures to Dean and Dean and I share a look at this.

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