T/W talk of d*pr*ss**n and m**n*ngl*ssn*ss

Soooo did I find this and think this is me except I'm not smart- yes.
https://www.sengifted.org/post/existential-depression-in-gifted-individuals
I am not gifted like neurologist violinist child prodigy gifted.
And I do not understand why my whole life people have labeled me as gifted or smart
But reading this made me think, oh fuck I have existential depression.

But idk

Idk

What is life?
I think too much about the utter meaningless of life the universe and everything
I constantly see what could be better, and spiral into thinking how we could fix things, realize all my theories and plans are filled with flaws and that I am just a kid.
Adults dont take my questions seriously.
"“Is this all there is to life? Is there not ultimate meaning? Does life only have meaning if I give it meaning? I am a small, insignificant organism who is alone in an absurd, arbitrary and capricious world where my life can have little impact, and then I die. Is this all there is?”"
Wtf that quote above describes my thoughts to a point.

And

At school I constantly feel out of place, and I dont understand.
I am in a class with smart kids with smart parents. A kid who's never graded below an A with a neurologist mother. Another who took a test so they could be placed in algebra in 7th grade  that's parents worked their way out of poverty into prosperity. They are nice, and I want to be friends with these kids. They are popular. At lunch sometimes they brag, and my small accomplishments seem silly and inferior, so instead of saying "oh I found that hard, but I scored good on it" I will instead say "ugh, your smarter than me I barely got through that my grade is tanking" and even when I do better than them, they say I got 9 out of 10, I had gotten 10 out of 10 I'll say "Nice" and I won't speak up. I don't want to brag, I feel embarrassed about my failure, and worse embarrased about my accomplishments. I shouldnt brag its bad, but im so tempted. I want people to like me i want to belong.
Its obviously a fluke when I succeed. They are all smarter than me. I am a little bit, screw that really stupid. I try to belong in my class, with humor. No one cares. I try to belong in my class with talking louder than anyone else, no one cares. I have always been that barely in the background kind of guy. No matter how much I try I don't belong
Soo yeah.... Labelled "gifted" my whole life by adults that dont understand how dumb I am, feel like I am just a small insignificant little idiot on a rock floating in space wasting any potential I may have breaking apart slowly without any reason meaning or will to live, desperate attempts to belong socially- all me.
Shit. I'm probably faking it tho- I am just an idiot. Why am I posting this. Fuck. Just it forget okay?!? It doesn't matter. In the end none of it matters.
In a century or two people will find a cellphone, buried in the ground of an ancient suburb. They will step on it and watch the screen crack. A heartless kid erasing someone's last chance of a legacy. It is all pointless. 30 years after I die no one will remember me. A decade after I die any traces I was here will disappear. 5 years after I die, any small impact I might have made is undone. Not like I will make any impact.
I am destined to die alone.
No one really knows me.

Then again I'm fine....
Fine.
Fine.
Its fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.