phil.

phil watched dan kick at pebbles on the pavement as he walked, his head tilted down. he looked so adorable. phil couldn't stand the silence between them a second longer, but dan spoke before he could.

"even with the whole thing with earl. how could you still think it was okay to just drop it?"

phil sighed and dan looked up to watch his face as he answered.

"i don't know, dan."

"that's not good enough." dan tugged at his jacket to wrap it tighter around himself.

"i know."

"okay..." dan's brows furrowed. phil pursed his lips. he didn't want to lie to trick dan into being with him again, but he also didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"i just... didn't think. i didn't think about how much it meant to you. i'm used to doing things without thinking. it's a bad habit, i have a few of those."

"well it was awful." dan's expression softened for a second. "but i probably shouldn't have reacted how i did."

phil smiled at his feet. "it's okay. i deserved it."

"no, you didn't." dan reached out to touch a pole, brushing his fingertips over the metal. "you didn't know what you did. i mean, you aren't stupid, and i don't regret putting you in your place. but i shouldn't have been that harsh." he blushed, just slightly. "and i shouldn't have tried to leave forever."

a rush of warmth and relief washed over phil and he fought back a grin. "i shouldn't have let you. i should've apologized the second i realized i'd done something to hurt you."

dan stopped walking, so phil stopped too.

"so... we're both immature." he half-smiled. "what now?"

phil licked his lips. "do you miss me?"

the smile fell from dan's face and he nodded after a second, his mouth twitching.

"i miss you too..."

dan sighed and sat down on the sidewalk, his feet off the curb. phil hesitated before sitting next to him, careful not to touch him in case he didn't want it.

"it was so great. you were so sweet, and i've never been with a boy where my feelings just got stronger every single day. they always just plateau at the brink of obsessive, and then i get my heart broken. it's different with you. i miss that."

phil smiled in his direction, even though dan wasn't looking at him.

"i mean, i've never liked anyone like i like you, so... yeah. i miss it too."

dan exhaled slowly, and his breath clouded in the air in front of him. "phil?"

phil leaned back, his hands on the sidewalk behind him to hold him up. "yeah?"

"you know that night you asked if i'd been in love?" he turned to him. phil's stomach squirmed.

"yeah...?"

dan smiled weakly. "i definitely hadn't."

phil's heart nearly leapt right out of his chest with how quick it was beating. "um... have you... now?"

dan paused, but didn't stop smiling in that faint way, like he was tired, but happy. "i don't know. maybe. i just know that this is much stronger than anything i've felt before, so... i haven't been in love before." he gave him a look. "i think you should know i'm very stubborn. i would've walked right back into the streets and not looked back, no matter how badly it hurt me."

phil nodded. "i know." it was something he liked about him. besides, this time, it had been phil's fault. it was his job to apologize. "dan... i'm getting better every day. maybe you haven't noticed, but i have. i'm so different from who i was when i met you."

dan smiled at him. "i've noticed. you still have a bit to go though..."

phil nodded. "i know. and i'll work on it."

"i know."

dan scooted closer to him and hesitated before letting his head fall on his shoulder. phil wrapped his arm around him and bit his lip, a rush of affection coursing through him at the warmth against his fingertips. he had missed him more than he'd even known.

"we're probably supposed to fight about what happened," dan mumbled, his breath tickling phil's neck.

"i don't want to," phil whispered. dan hummed.

"i don't want to either."

phil closed his eyes. "i'm selling the car."

even though his eyes were closed he knew dan had opened his. "what?"

"yeah." phil felt oddly breathless. it was kind of exhilarating. "or... we could do an auction. for the shelter."

"phil..."

phil opened his own eyes and turned to him. dan's eyes were bright and full of warmth. phil smiled. "yeah?"

dan leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose. "you can keep it, phil. the car isn't the problem."

phil shook his head, gently wrapping his arms around dan's waist and pulling him closer. "i don't want it if it could help with something bigger."

dan rested his forehead against phil's, beaming. actually, phil was positive he'd give up anything for that smile.

"but you can't keep the shelter," dan whispered. "you said you couldn't, it's fine if you can't keep up with it..."

"we'll sell it," phil whispered back, reaching up to tuck a curl behind dan's ear. "or i'll just have to work harder. we'll figure something out, i promise." he paused. "i was thinking we could change the name."

"to what?"

"anything." phil leaned in, his lips brushing dan's for a second, and he could feel his smile. "as long as it has to do with earl."

"phil..."

phil liked it when he said his name like that. he kissed the corner of dan's mouth. he didn't care where they were, no one was looking anyways.

"maybe it's stupid, but it feels like a good tribute."

dan nodded quickly. "it... it is. yes. i love it."

dan wrapped his arms around phil's neck and the only thing keeping him from being in his lap was that dan hadn't made the move yet.

"i'm sorry, dan."

dan shook his head, pressing his thumb against phil's bottom lip and giggling softly. "save it for someone who's mad at you."

phil laughed and nodded, tugging him impossibly closer. "maybe we should go somewhere private."

dan raised his eyebrows, smirking at him and kissing the spot on his cheek between phil's nose and his lips. "are you suggesting something?"

"i mean, i wasn't, but it's always an option."

dan smacked him, giggling, but pushed himself up. he was gorgeous, all the spots that had been skinny and thinned out were full now, and all the parts of him that had been pale were rose and peach, like a filled in sheet in a coloring book. he still needed a haircut, but phil liked his hair on the longer side, because his curls always fell on his forehead, and his eyelashes were dark and made his eyes look heavier and more full of emotion. phil couldn't keep his eyes off of him.

"you'll have to wait for that," dan teased, smiling softly. "we have a bit of catching up to do, and some things to work through... but we have plenty of time, 'cause i don't plan on leaving again."

phil laughed and stood up, grabbing his hand. "fair enough. i can wait." he really could- just being with dan was enough for him. he didn't need to have sex with him to feel fulfilled.

"am i still allowed to live with you?" dan asked quietly, watching him as they walked back toward the shelter. phil laughed.

"allowed? you're highly encouraged."

dan beamed, and brought phil's hand to his lips.

"good."

---

pls read !!!!!

okay so u can probably tell but this is almost over!! the next few chapters will just be tying up loose ends and such tell me if there's anything u want me to solve that i might have forgotten to mention

i want to write a few meaningless fluff chapters bc i'm worried my stories don't have enough actual romance but let me know what u think??

also i will write an epilogue and stuff & i think i'm gonna do a character ask bc i like doing those lmk if that's a good idea

anyways i love all of u sorry if any part of this is shit ur all angels for not telling me