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dan.

dan sighed, running his fingertips along the glass of phil's car window, watching apartment buildings pass. he turned, glancing at the boy currently (and usually) on his mind.

"why'd she do that?"

he swore he saw phil stiffen a bit, but decided he had imagined it.

"do what?"

"you know..." dan shifted, hugging his knees and facing phil in his seat. "let us go. make us go. get us that fancy reservation..."

he watched phil lick his lips. "i don't wanna think about that."

dan frowned. "well... what do you wanna think about?"

phil looked at him, and dan's stomach turned. his face was almost glowing, backlit by the passing golden streetlights, his hair blowing around his face from the open window. he looked unreal. phil glanced over him before looking away again.

"i don't wanna think about anything."

dan smiled a bit, shivering. "nothing?"

phil shook his head, a hint of a grin appearing on his face. dan laughed softly.

"you're so stupid."

"how am i stupid?" phil asked, but dan could tell he hadn't taken any offense. dan shrugged, brushing his fingertips up his own thigh absentmindedly.

"i was thinking about your offer."

phil looked at him again. "you were?"

dan nodded, smiling lightly. he looked back at him. "i want to."

phil's eyes widened, just slightly. "you want to?"

dan nodded again, watching him. it was incredible to see his expressions shift between emotions. dan wasn't sure why he noticed these things in phil, but no one else.

phil beamed, his eyes lighting up in joy. he paused. "i, um... do you wanna come over tonight? and stay the night? just to, like, see how you feel?"

phil seemed to realize what he had asked at the same time dan did and his face went pink.

"i d-didn't mean..."

"yeah, i'll stay the night," dan muttered, studying his face. he smiled. he was cute when he was flustered, and it gave dan a strange sense of accomplishment to make him blush.

phil bit his lip. "alright..."

phil took a turn, driving up toward the hills yet again. dan thought about kat. he'd have to talk to her the next day, explain everything. there was no more putting it off. and besides, she was his best friend... he would always tell her everything.

night made everything feel slower and heavier, somehow. like he was trying to run underwater. but calmer than that. phil's fingers tapped on the steering wheel next to him and dan sighed, closing his eyes. he could almost fall asleep, but not quite, knowing he would be wasting his time with phil if he did. 

the car finally came to a stop and dan opened his eyes. phil got out and walked around to wait for him and dan sighed, shoving his own door open.

he stood, and stretched for a second. phil was looking at him. it made dan feel... almost vulnerable. his skin tingled oddly.

dan took phil's hand and let him pull him inside. he squeezed, wanting phil to relax a bit. he hoped they didn't have to unpack any more of their trauma or anything that night. he felt more like focusing on... them. not their families, not their friends, not their lifestyles. them.

phil's apartment was quiet and considerably neat. he flicked on the lights and paused.

"do you want something to wear?"

dan nodded mutely. any excuse to wear one of phil's shirts.

phil disappeared and came back holding a soft looking red shirt and matching red pants that looked like silk. dan cursed under his breath, laughing and grabbing them from him, rushing to the bathroom to change.

when he was dressed he came back out to find phil sitting on the couch waiting for him, his eyes closed. everything felt so beautifully quiet, the only sound was phil's breathing and the creaking of floorboards beneath dan's feet. he paused to take a deep breath.

"phil?" he whispered, and phil sat up, turning to him. dan watched him lick his lips nervously, his eyes traveling over him. dan tried not to feel insecure.

phil smiled and stood up. "you can keep those."

dan blinked. "what? no. they're yours. and god knows how much they cost-"

"that doesn't matter." phil stepped forward and before dan knew it his hands were on his hips.

dan swallowed; these pajama pants were so much thinner than the pants he usually wore, and he could feel the heat of phil's touch through them clearer, sharper.

"it does matter," he whispered, searching phil's eyes. phil shook his head.

"it's not a discussion, dan. you're keeping them." he glanced down at him again. "besides, who would i be to keep something that looks so good on you?"

dan's breath caught. "don't say stuff like that."

"why not?"

dan huffed. "because it's late, phil, and i'm in your apartment, and you gave me something made of silk."

phil laughed, nodding, his expression melting. "yeah. fuck, can we drop this and just talk to each other? i don't like the whole... the whole silent communication thing."

dan grinned and relaxed. "yeah. please."

"okay." phil sighed. "what are we doing?"

dan frowned in thought. "hopefully... something."

"something?"

dan nodded, reaching up so he could touch his jaw. he really liked his jaw. "mhm..."

phil bit his lip and pushed his hands up so they rested on dan's waist, his shirt pushing up beneath them. dan blushed at the skin on skin contact. "maybe we should talk about all this."

dan knew what he meant. but he wasn't up for it, not right then. he didn't want to ruin this with labels.

"yeah... but not tonight."

phil raised his eyebrows. "okay..."

"tonight is for..." dan leaned in, kissing the corner of his mouth incredibly softly. "this."

phil smiled, pulling him closer. dan felt his stomach against phil's. he was warm and so, so real.

"what else?" phil breathed, his fingers brushing up dan's stomach. dan tried not to go completely red. he hummed and kissed the other side of his mouth, his nose nudging against phil's.

"that..."

phil laughed softly and closed the remaining distance, turning his head so he could kiss dan square on the mouth. dan smiled and closed his eyes, winding his arms around phil's neck. everything felt heightened by the hour and the darkness enveloping most of the room and dan was aware of every little move. he wanted to be closer to him, so close to him.

"i'm not gonna hook up with you," dan breathed after a moment of slow kissing, phil's hands beneath his shirt and his body lined up to dan's. phil nodded, meeting his eyes.

"okay..."

dan paused, searching his face. "but... we can kiss more if you want."

phil beamed, reaching up to tuck a loose curl behind dan's ear. "you're so stupid," he muttered, but before dan could reply he kissed him again.