chapter sixty-six ━ circus gala fundraiser
( season ten, episodes three & four )

❝Have we run away and joined the
circus?❞

JACKSON ROLLED OVER in the bed and lifted his head when his arm fell against the mattress. Ellie's spot was empty. He furrowed his brows, looking tiredly around the room. He glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand—4:40 am.

"Why do you keep making me sick?" He sat upright in the bed and noticed the light was on in the bathroom. "Come on, you, I just want to sleep. Isn't bad enough that you're taking all my energy, you want to take my sleep, too?"

"Who are you talking to?"

Ellie looked up from her seated position on the bathroom floor, leaning against the bathtub. "Our unborn child," she replied grumpily. She held her head in her hand and let out a breath. "How's your day going?"

"Uh—my day hasn't even begun yet," Jackson replied, sitting down beside her on the floor. "Do you know why?"

"Because it's four o'clock in the morning?" she guessed, leaning her head on his shoulder and could feel his nod. "Well, I've been up since three, so my day has already begun. Can you tell your child to stop making me sick?"

He furrowed his brows. "Why is it always my child whenever you're unhappy?"

"Because I'm growing said child and losing sleep over it," she countered with a frown, bringing a hand up to her mouth. She leaned over the toilet and groaned, looking over when Jackson held out a box of tissues to her. "Case in point."

"Is there anything I can do to make it better?" he asked her and she shook her head. "Since it's my child making you sick."

Ellie chuckled softly. "See?" she agreed, pointing at him. "Your child." He rolled his eyes. "I'll be okay. Go back to sleep. Maybe Derek is still awake since baby Bailey refuses to sleep. He can keep me company."

"How is he?"

"Sleep deprived," she replied, closing her eyes as she rested her head against the cold wall. "He called me yesterday in tears because he suddenly remembered that I'm pregnant. I think he's had that realization four times in the past two weeks. That kid needs to go to sleep before he loses it."

"Hmm—"

"And Zola is just like her father that she needs sleep to function and her new baby brother is keeping her up all night," Ellie added, smiling thoughtfully. "They're really selling parenthood at the moment."

Jackson shrugged. "It's too late for us, though."

She looked back at him with a smile. "Too late," she echoed, holding up her hands. "Help me up, please. Maybe our unborn child can show they love me by letting me sleep for a little bit. We have a long day of work ahead of us."

"You do know you can call out sick, right?" he asked her as she stood up and rinsed her mouth at the sink. "We'd be fine without you. Not that—Not that we don't want you there..."

She furrowed her brows. "What?"

"I don't know."

Ellie let out a breath. "I can't take off tomorrow. We have a hospital in shambles from a storm, two surgeons on leave, and we own it. We kinda have to go."

Jackson hummed. "If you say so. This is what we get for living near the ocean..."

She chuckled to herself, following him to their bedroom. She crawled into bed and glanced at the picture of Mark that sat on her nightstand before turning off the light. "Do you think he'd be happy?"

"Would who?" Jackson asked quietly, rubbing her back while she rested her head on his chest. "Mark?" She nodded and he began to mindlessly play with her blonde hair. "I think so. I think our kid would like him more than us."

"That's because he'd get into trouble with the kid," she replied in amusement. "I wish he could have met them..."

Jackson looked down at her. "I know..." He kissed her forehead and she snuggled closer to him. "I know."

☀️

"I DON'T DO plastics," Ellie said to Jackson as he dragged her through the hospital in excitement, Stephanie trailing behind them. "Why am I on a case with you?"

"Because your brother taught me everything I know," he replied, turning to look at her when they paused outside of a hospital room. "He gave me the confidence to do this and... I want you to see this."

She tilted her head and her blue eyes met his green ones, passion filling his irises. She nodded with a small smile. "Okay."

"Okay!" He opened the door to the room and walked inside. "Cara, Carlos," he greeted the couple as the two women followed after him. "Guys, this is Dr. Sloan and Dr. Edwards. They'll be assisting me today."

"Oh, so she's the one," the woman in the bed said with a cheeky smile, looking up at Jackson. "She's cute."

Ellie raised her eyebrows at her fiancé and he shrugged, a pink blush coming to his cheeks. "It's nice to meet you both," she replied, looking at the couple with a smile.

"And I..." Jackson cleared his throat, taking hold of his tablet. "Have the simulation back."

Cara sat upright in her bed at his words. "Mm. Show me, show me!"

Jackson sat down beside her, turning around the screen. "Now, first, we're gonna be removing the scars using tissue harvested from your back and scalp," he began while Ellie watched him. "And then I'm gonna hide our new scars right here in the facial planes. And it's gonna look a little something like this..."

He tapped the screen and showed them the simulation of the results—little to no scars could be seen. Ellie smiled softly to herself; Mark would be so proud.

"Oh, my God," Carlos said, looking up at Jackson. "Really?"

"You can do that?" Cara asked in disbelief, her voice breaking at the end of her sentence. "You can make me look like that?"

"Now, it's an estimate," Jackson told them, handing the tablet back to Stephanie. "But it's very, very close."

"And it's free?" Carlos asked. "Because our insurance maxed out about two surgeries ago—"

Jackson nodded. "We know," he interrupted softly. "That's why this one's on us." Ellie turned away and wiped at the corner of her eyes. Stupid hormones. He looked at Cara. "Hey—"

"I didn't think I was gonna get to go back to work," she said with a sniffle.

"She teaches kindergarten," Carlos explained to Ellie and Stephanie. "Yeah, she's afraid she's gonna scare the kids."

"And she can't teach without feeling her best, right?" Jackson finished.

Carlos chuckled. "You guys!" he exclaimed, hugging Jackson while Cara looked up at him.

"Thank you... so much."

Stephanie was sent to collect Cara's scans before her surgery while Jackson handed back her chart. Ellie tilted her head, leaning against the nurse's station. "He'd be proud, Jackie." He glanced at her. "Mark would be very proud. You did good."

"You think?"

She nodded. "My older brother was passionate about three things in life—maybe four: his family, sex, and plastics." Jackson chuckled to himself. "There's a reason he chose you to pass on his knowledge to. Because he saw himself in you. So, don't doubt yourself. Or I will channel my inner Mark Sloan and kick your ass."

He snorted and kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

She smiled up at him before turning around and yelping. "Ah!" Owen was standing behind them with a stack of files in his hands. "Could you at least announce your presence before scaring a sleep-deprived pregnant lady?"

"I'm here!" he mockingly announced and she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "We have a problem."

Ellie let out a breath. "Of course we do. And what can we—?" She paused when she noticed Jackson had vanished. "He's gone. Okay, what can I do for you?"

"We have no money," Owen said simply and she stared back at him, looking down at the papers he held out to her. "That's the basics of it. This hospital has no money. We have no money for meds, supplies, pro-bono surgeries. Nothing."

"Well—"

"And you're the only board member I've managed to find and talk to," he added making her sigh. "We need to find a way to make more money, or—"

"We'll sink," she finished quietly. She nodded to herself and closed the folder. "Alright. Come with me, we're gonna fix this."

Owen blinked at her. "We—We are?"

Ellie nodded. "Yes," she replied, walking through the halls while he hurriedly followed her. "Because that's my job." She let out a breath as she paused in front of the OR board. "Okay... So we don't have money for pro-bono surgeries and we're running out of space..."

"And outpatient is still in shambles," Owen said and she hung her head. "We have too many patients and not enough room."

She fluttered her lips, taking the whiteboard eraser in her hand. "Alright, here's what we're gonna do." She stared at Jackson's name with his operation before erasing it. "You're gonna give Jackson three liposuctions instead of his facial reconstruction surgery."

Owen tilted his head. "He won't be very happy."

"No, he won't," she agreed, shaking her head. "But he has to make a sacrifice today if this is gonna work."

"So you want me to transfer his patient to Seattle Pres?" Owen asked.

"Transfer, yes, but to another room." He furrowed his brows and she looked at him. "It's finance. We give him three liposuctions and it'll pay for the reconstruction surgery. It's his surgery, nobody is taking that from him. He can do it tomorrow and it'll be paid for."

Owen nodded slowly. "Smart."

"I know." She turned back to the whiteboard. "As for the underfunded parts of the problem... that's a board problem. Which means, I just need the rest of the board—sleep-deprived new parents included."

"Good luck with that," Owen said with a smirk. "I've been trying all day to talk to them, but no one answers."

She shrugged with a smirk. "I guess it's a good thing that I'm technically their boss." She handed him the eraser. "You tell Jackson about the surgeries and I'll handle the others."

☀️

JACKSON HANDED ELLIE his coat while waiting in outpatient surgery where it was unnecessarily cold when the doors opened and the board members came rushing in.

"Where's the emergency?"

"What happened to the guy?"

"You paged us 9-1-1!"

Owen looked down at Ellie who was chuckling at all of their exclamations. "It worked." She glanced at him. "I didn't think it would work."

She frowned. "I'm offended that you doubted my persuasion abilities."

"Uh—where's the trauma?" Cristina asked, interrupting their bantering. "You paged all of us here..."

Ellie smiled brightly. "There isn't one. This is a board meeting."

Meredith raised her eyebrows. "So there's no trauma?"

"A meeting about what?" Derek asked exasperatedly next to his wife. Ellie narrowed her eyes at him. He looked absolutely exhausted. He wasn't kidding.

"We're gonna have a party," Jackson explained to the group, standing behind Ellie's chair at the table. Arizona looked at him with a chuckle.

"Is this—Is this a trauma, meeting, or a party?"

"I'm so confused."

"I'm so tired."

Ellie sighed and hung her head. "We're gonna have a party, people," she repeated, leaning forward against the table. "We're going to invite the richest people we know and we're gonna charm the money out of them."

Jackson nodded. "But first, Dr. Hunt is gonna tell us exactly how much money we need and where it needs to go, starting with what used to be this room."

"So let's settle in," Ellie added, gesturing to the empty chairs in front of her. "We're gonna be here for a while."

☀️

ELLIE PULLED TWO strands of her blonde hair out of her low bun, framing her face with them. Her light blue dress clung tightly to her figure and her eye was caught by the ring on her left finger; it was sparkling in the light. She smiled softly to herself at the sight.

"Are you ready?" She looked up at Jackson as she looped her earring through the lobe being met with the sight of him in a suit; he always looked handsome in a suit. "You look beautiful."

She smiled at him. "You don't look too bad yourself," she replied, standing up. "Your bowtie is crooked, though." She began straightening it. "You're staring, Dr. Avery."

"I can't help it," he said and she blushed. "I can't wait to see you on our wedding day."

"Ooh, that reminds me!" she exclaimed suddenly and he jumped. She walked out to the hallway for her coat. "April has named herself our official wedding planner, along with hers, so..."

"So I need to give her my credit card?" he finished with a chuckle.

She nodded, biting her bottom lip. "Pretty much. She has a lot of ideas..."

"Alright, then." He opened the front door of the apartment and she walked out to the car. "Let's go to a gala."

A short drive later, they arrived at the venue to be met with lights, photographers, and— "Is that a red carpet?" she asked with a frown.

They walked up the stairs, Ellie squinting her eyes at the bright lights, and finding Owen at the entrance. "Hey," he greeted them with a tight smile. "I—uh... really hope this red carpet is something you had lying around the house, Avery."

"Sure, because that's how I like to spend my nights," Ellie quipped, shaking her head. "Walking to bed on a red carpet. Though if it's non-refundable, we will be."

Owen chuckled at her. "We're trying to raise money, not waste it."

"I grew up in this world," Jackson told them as they walked inside. "I know how it works. We're attracting serious people with serious money and tailoring an event to them. Tonight is gonna be tasteful, sophisticated, conservative..."

He paused in the doorway. Ellie looked around the room, seeing the different acrobatic acts happening. "Have we run away and joined the circus?"

Owen nodded to himself. "You and I have very different definitions of the word 'conservative'."

Jackson took Ellie's hand and dragged her over to his party planner while she continued to watch the different attractions around her. "Ari... what did you spend my money on?"

"This is what you want!" she replied with a smile. "You want spectacle—pizzazz."

"Do I look like someone who wants pizzazz?"

Ellie rubbed her thumb across his hand though distractedly as she had caught sight of a man walking across a tightrope with fire. "No, but your fiancé does." Jackson looked over at Ellie's excited look and his face softened. "Besides, when people think of hospitals, they think of death, disease... old people. Not sexy. We are giving them Las Vegas! We are giving them a show. People are more inclined to open their wallets if they're having fun."

"Ooh, look, another fire trick!" Ellie exclaimed and Jackson chuckled, allowing her to drag him across the room like an excited little kid.

☀️

"MEREDITH GREY, AS I live and breathe," Cristina exclaimed and Ellie and Callie looked over at the new mother who joined them. "I haven't seen you in ages. How's—uh—Derek liking maternity leave?"

Ellie snorted, bringing her glass of ginger ale up to her lips. "He's on paternity leave," Meredith corrected her.

Cristina shrugged. "Yeah, okay."

"We have a deal," Meredith explained to them. "I don't work, neither does he. It's working out well."

Callie frowned. "Uh—I live in your house," she reminded her. "You're bored out of your minds. Yeah, they've got all this pent-up surgical energy and now everything's a competition."

"It is not."

Ellie hummed. "And Derek's winning?"

Callie nodded. "He is not winning!" Meredith exclaimed. "He couldn't even get Zola to put her shoes on tonight, I did this. I got her to put her shoes on, so I'm winning." They all looked at her. "I need to come back to work."

Ellie chuckled softly and turned to refill her ginger ale when Callie gasped. "Oh, for—What?"

"You've popped!"

She looked down at her stomach. "That's impossible," she countered, shaking her head. "I'm not that far along yet. I'm only fourteen weeks."

"Well, check again, because you've definitely popped," Callie told her when a waiter in a clown costume passed them. "Bailey's gonna freak, she can't stand clowns."

"Bailey isn't coming," Meredith said.

"Wait, that's an option?" Callie asked her with a frown. "I've been dreading being in the same room as Arizona. If this isn't mandatory, I'm going home."

"Wait, nobody's going home!" Jackson exclaimed, joining them. "I'm giving ten percent of tonight's take to the department that raises the most money. So spread the word."

Ellie chuckled at his frazzled state. "Oh, just wait until he's a dad."

She bid goodbye to her friends and continued walking through the party. "Excuse me." She looked over at a woman who had approached her. "I couldn't help but ask, are you Mark Sloan's sister?"

"Uh—y—yeah."

"I thought so." The woman smiled and Ellie raised her eyebrows. "The resemblance is so strong."

She cleared her throat. "I—I'm sorry. Did you know my brother?" she asked her.

"Not personally, no, but he did a surgery for me," the woman replied and she nodded slowly. "He was brilliant at his work. I was so sorry to hear about his death. You have my condolences. The way he was able to put his passion for his work into his surgeries was inspiring, it's so sad he died so young."

"Yeah..." She swallowed the growing lump in her throat. "Um... would—"

"I would love to donate in his memory," she continued, not noticing Ellie's rapid breathing. "Is there something I can do that?"

"Uh—"

Suddenly, Derek was at her side with a smile. "Hi. Uh—Derek Shepherd, neurosurgery. Donations can be made at the table at the far end of the room."

"Oh. thank you."

Ellie let out a shaky breath as she walked away. "Thanks," she whispered to Derek.

He nodded. "Are you okay?" he asked and she shrugged.

"Uh—"

She handed him her drink and walked towards the exit of the room. "Ellie!" She looked over at Jackson. "We have to go on stage now."

"Can—Can it wait, Jackson?" she asked quietly, fumbling with her fingers. "Or... can you do it alone?"

"It's our job, we both have to do it."

She closed her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, just... can we please wait a few minutes, Jackie?" She pressed her lips together. "I need—I need some air."

"Ellie, what—?"

"I need a minute."

She hurried out of the room, leaving Jackson to watch her go. "I got her." He looked at Derek who stood next to him.

Derek walked out of the building, seeing Ellie sitting on a bench. She had her locket unclasped in front of her, staring at her brother's smiling picture. She looked up when Derek wrapped his jacket around her.

"I miss him," she whispered as he sat down beside her. "I really miss him."

"I know you do," he replied quietly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "So do I."

"It just feels like..." Ellie let out a breath and wiped the corners of her eyes. "It feels like every time something good happens, I suddenly remember that he's gone. He's missing it all. He'll never meet my kids, and he'll never give me away at my wedding."

Derek tilted his head. "He's not completely gone," he said and she looked at him. "He's always with you, in everything you do. Even if you can't see him. He's not letting you go that easily again."

She smiled lightly, closing her locket. "I've done absolutely nothing for the wedding," she said quietly before looking up at him. "But I know one thing... Would you be the one to walk me down the aisle?"

"Really?"

She nodded. "You're my brother, too."

He smiled and squeezed her tightly in a hug. "Of course I will, I'd be honored."

Ellie kissed his cheek. "Well..." She stood up and cleared her throat, returning his jacket. "Duty calls. Time for a speech." She squeezed Derek's hand. "Thank you."

"Anytime, sunshine."

Jackson was waiting by the door of the venue when she returned. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I got my brother to make me feel better," she replied with a smile. "Well, shall we?"

"Alright..." He followed her onto the stage and took the microphone from the stand. "Can I have your attention, please?" The room fell silent. "Thank you. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Dr. Jackson Avery and this is Dr. Elizabeth Sloan. And on behalf of the board of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, I just want to say, 'welcome'."

He handed Ellie the microphone and she sucked in a breath. "Over the past year, we've seen many changes. From a change in name to a change in leadership... and it has all been a challenge. But it's been a challenge that we've all been more than happy to accept. As surgeons—"

She jumped when she heard a sudden loud boom. An aerialist fell to the floor next to Jackson after her silk snapped from the ceiling. The performer began to stand up.

"No, no, you need to stay still," Ellie told her, shaking her head. "You might have internal injuries or breaks."

"No, no, I'm fine, see?" She stepped over the silk. "I'm fine—ah!" There was a loud crack and she fell to the floor where Ellie could see her bone sticking out from her ankle. She glanced at Callie who nodded at the sight.

"Yeah, I'd say there's a break."

☀️

"AVERY, WHERE ARE the paramedics?" Owen asked.

"Should be here any minute."

Ellie was at the performer's feet while Callie kept her steady from the head. "There's no pulse," the blonde muttered, looking up at Callie. "Okay. Hold still. This is going to hurt. Ready on my count... one, two, three!"

She pulled the ankle toward her, managing to return the ankle inside the skin as the performer screamed in pain. She wrapped a cloth around her foot securely just as the paramedics arrived.

"How close are we to our goal?" Ellie asked Jackson while the rest of the doctors returned to Grey Sloan with the ambulance.

"We're not even halfway there."

"Lovely..."

Just then, Derek approached them while riding a unicycle. "Have you seen my wife?"

"Uh—she—uh—hopped on a rig with the paramedics," Jackson replied, glancing up briefly from his clipboard.

"Ah, damn it!"

"Hey, Shepherd? Shepherd!" Jackson rolled his neck and let out a frustrated breath. "Wilson, where the hell is Karev?"

"Question of the night!" Jo exclaimed, throwing up her hands in defeat. "You know, I should be at work right now. It doesn't matter now, the party died the minute the aerialist fell on big bird." Ellie looked up and turned to her. "People see a woman's tibia impale her own foot, it's hard to steer the conversation in a different direction."

"They're gonna be fine," Jackson replied.

Ellie tilted her head. "Wait, say that again."

"They're gonna be fine?"

She shook her head. "Not you. Wilson."

Jo raised her eyebrows. "It's hard to steer the conversation in a different direction?" she repeated hesitantly.

Ellie nodded. "Bingo." She snapped her finger and looked up at Jackson. "There's a hospital right down the street." He smiled and it mirrored hers. "Ladies and gentlemen!" she called out to the guests still present.

Once they had reached Grey Sloan, Ellie and Jackson led some potential donors into the observation deck of the aerialist's surgery. "Doctors, we have visitors."

"Okay." Jackson turned to the group. "Now if you'll notice the pins that Dr. Torres is drilling into place—that is the external fixation we were telling you about?"

"Are—Are we allowed to be here?"

Ellie nodded. "Yes," she assured them with a smile. "We spoke with Irina's husband. He said that if there's one thing that she believes in, it's that the show must go on. We showed you a circus this evening, but this... this is the real show."

"This is what we do here," Jackson added, gesturing down to Owen and Callie. "We are gonna get this woman back on her feet. And then before you leave tonight, we would ask that you please consider helping us get back on ours."

One man nodded and looked at them. "How much do you need?"

Owen glanced up at Ellie and Jackson from inside the OR with a nod and they smiled at each other.

☀️

"THERE IS A little bump," Jackson said later that night while they were in bed. Ellie nodded, looking at him from her book.

"I've been told several times tonight," she replied, turning the page. "It's becoming more prominent now."

"How do you feel about it?"

She shrugged. "It at least proves that a little human is growing inside and making me sick," she said with a smile. "And that we're actually having a baby. So, I've been thinking."

"About...?"

"How we can tell our kids about Mark," she answered and he looked back at her. "I mean, the man practically raised me and he won't get to meet them. And, I'd prefer in ways more than just pictures—"

"We'll tell them everything," he interrupted softly before pausing. "Okay, maybe not everything, but they'll know who he is." She raised her eyebrows. "They'll know so much about him that it'll be like he told them himself."

"Really?"

He nodded. "He's their Uncle Mark."

She smiled to herself and snuggled against him. He kissed her forehead before turning off the light and readjusting the covers.

He's always with you, in everything you do. Even if you can't see him. Derek's words echoed in her mind as she fell asleep.

And for the first time since Mark's death, she truly believed that.

☀️

━ author's note:

I love watching my sweet ellie heal... for now at least :)

also, sunshine hit 600k reads the other day and I don't really know to feel, but I'll just say thank you for right now. thank you for loving ellie as much as I've loved creating her for you all

and to my rereaders who have stuck with this book since literal day one (through the book taken down, my slow updates, and a mental breakdown or two), you guys are the best and I love you <3