chapter fifty-eight ━ a big change
( season nine, episode fifteen )

❝You know how you have four sisters?
Well, they all just got a picture of
their big brother on an elevator door.❞

"LOOK, I KNOW this is drastic and insane, but I'm telling you that we can't let this deal go through." Ellie was sitting in Meredith and Derek's house with them and Arizona. "If Pegasus were running this hospital, we'd have no opportunity to do what we got into medicine to do. No research, no innovation, nothing."

"And how do you know all of this?" Arizona asked her, crossing her arms. "I know you know a lot, but unless you've experienced all this, how do we know it's the truth?"

She shrugged. "A friend came through for me."

Derek furrowed his brows. "What?"

She sighed. "I couldn't leave the hospital when so much was happening, so Richard went to a hospital in Portland. One that was bought by Pegasus and the things he found... it's not a hospital, it's a business. And I know this is complicated, and maybe it's partially our fault, but we have to. We have to buy the hospital."

"Woah, let's just slow down," Arizona said.

Meredith shrugged. "Maybe she's right..."

"Just wait," Arizona said again and they all turned to look at her. "What if we don't want to? I'm sorry, but it's never been my dream to run a hospital."

Ellie sighed. "Where's Cristina?" she asked Meredith.

"I've been texting her."

"I just got back to work," Arizona continued and Ellie met her gaze. "And, Derek, you just got your hand back. Don't you want to just work?"

"But where would we be working?" Ellie asked her, letting out a breath. "Do you want a little robot telling you which patients you can and cannot treat? Because I don't know about you, but I don't. I'd rather help people."

Meredith nodded. "Or how about putting a stopwatch on how much time you can spend with them," she added, seemingly the only person completely in agreement with Ellie.

"Exactly," Ellie agreed. "I know it's not what you want, Arizona, but if we did this... we would be making the policies. We have the experience."

"No offense, Ellie, but that's a bit of a naive way to describe it." She looked over at Derek. "I wanted it once and hated it." She sighed and shook her head. "We should stay the course. I made a deal with Pegasus that apparently will help the sale."

Ellie and Meredith glanced at each other. "What deal?"

"Nothing, it's stupid," he replied, dismissing the topic. "But maybe that's how we make it work, from the inside."

"You were chief," Ellie countered, looking back at Derek. "Which is an entirely different thing than owning a hospital."

"What about Hunt?" Arizona interjected. "I mean, he's pushing for the Pegasus sale. He thinks it's a good deal. So what's he gonna say?"

Ellie sighed. "Well of course he thinks it's a good idea, he has no other options."

"So what are we talking about, like $100 million, $200 million?"

Ellie held her head in her hands while Arizona and Derek started bickering with each other about the cost of potentially buying a hospital.

"Are you saying that they'll take everything?" She looked up when she heard Arizona's voice. "I mean, everything from the lawsuit from all of us?"

Derek sighed. "I have no idea what it's going to take to buy Seattle Grace, but I can guarantee you it's more than the five of us combined. That's only $75 million."

"$90 million," Ellie corrected him and he looked at her. "I have Mark's share in my name, too. And I also have another $20 million from James' inheritance, though I guess then I'd have to break that news to Alex..."

"And we have money in the IRA," Meredith added. "And we have about—"

Derek shook his head. "No. Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

They could hear a cry from the other room and Meredith excused herself to console her crying daughter.

"Okay, this isn't about a financial investment," Derek said, finally agreeing with Ellie. "It's a much bigger opportunity."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"To stay and make the place we dreamed of work again."

"Oh, God, will you two stop it?" Arizona snapped in frustration. "We are not spending this money. If I have learned anything in the past year, it's that we don't get to know what's coming around the corner." Ellie let out a breath and sat down on the couch. "Anything can happen. To you, to me. Anything. And our children deserve as much protection as we can give them. And we have the chance to not have to worry no matter what happens, a chance to be prepared should the worst happen—"

"That sounds like a horrible way to live," Ellie interrupted quietly. "Getting ready for disasters that may never happen."

Derek agreed. "We have an opportunity to do something about it. And maybe we have a responsibility to do that—"

"Oh, don't try and make me feel selfish." They paused and looked at her. "Don't try and make me feel guilty just because you do."

"Who said I feel guilty?" he asked her.

"I think—I think you feel—uh—guilty," Arizona continued. "But that's not—it's not—"

Derek shook his head. "No, no, no, no. Let's—go ahead. Tell me."

Arizona paused for a moment. "Some of us died," she said quietly and Ellie let her head fall. "And some of us are gonna live with challenges for the rest of their life. And you—you got the money. And then you got your hand back, and you got your career back, and I think that you feel guilty. I think you feel guilty about your decision to sue and I—I think you feel guilty about having all this money.

"And now I think that you want to be the one who comes in and saves everyone and you have to be the hero." Ellie opened her mouth while Derek raised his eyebrows. "And it's selfish and egomaniacal, and now it's affecting my family! So, just stop, okay? Everything that you've done to make it better has actually made it worse. So please... stop."

Silence filled the house when Arizona had finished and Ellie nodded to herself, glancing up at Derek who seemed to be at a loss for words.

"He wasn't the one who pressured you to sue."

Arizona paused and they looked at her. "What?"

"Ellie—"

"No," she said, interrupting Derek and shaking her head. "They deserve the truth because she's blaming you and that's not fair." She looked up and met Arizona's gaze, seeing Meredith had returned from her daughter's bedroom. "He wanted to take the settlement. He was going to agree with you guys."

"Then why didn't he?"

"Because I convinced him otherwise," she replied and stood up from the couch. "You're right, Arizona. People died. And people are going to live with difficulties because of the crash. My brother died. And I know people are sick of hearing me say that, but that's because everybody thinks that that makes me weak. Maybe if you mention Mark, then I'll agree with whatever you say. That poor, broken, little Ellie, who's too overcome with grief, will somehow switch her ideals and go to your side. Well, news flash, I won't."

She looked back at Arizona. "You can be as angry as you like, I'm not gonna stop you. But do not, and I mean, do not take it out on Derek. If you want to be angry at somebody, then be angry at me. You can join Bailey in the club. I did what I thought was right."

She let out a breath and glanced around the room. "One week," she said, pressing her lips together. "I'm quitting at the end of the week because I can't work in a hospital like that. I'm gonna find a way to save our hospital. If you want to join me, then great. If not, I won't be angry. Have a good night."

Ellie closed the front door behind her and let out a heavy sigh, nodding to herself. She was doing the right thing, right? She took out her car keys and began the familiar drive back to her and Jackson's apartment, opening the door to the welcome smell of pizza.

"Hello?"

"Oh, good, you're home," Jackson said, walking out of the kitchen with a smile. "I thought you might be hungry after your meeting, so I got dinner. The usual."

"Two pizzas?" she asked and he nodded with a chuckle. "You're the best." There was a beat of silence and she looked up at him. "I'm quitting in four days."

He glanced down at her. "Why?"

"A long and complicated story," she answered, leaning against the wall. "I know I should've talked about it with you first. I mean, this will complicate things with it being just your salary, but—"

Jackson frowned. "Don't worry about that," he said and she paused. "We're gonna be fine. Besides, I'm pretty sure if I slip your name, my mom will gladly help out. Okay? We're gonna be just fine. If it's what you need to do, then we'll make it work."

Ellie smiled softly and leaned her head on his shoulder. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"I ask myself the same question every day."

☀️

ELLIE STEPPED ONTO the elevator and, as she turned around, she let out a small scream. Staring back at her was a large photo of a smiling Derek Shepherd, seemingly covering every inch of the elevator door. She pulled out her phone and heard the camera click.

[ ELLIE SLOAN ]
8:32 am
What the hell is this?

[ DEREK SHEPHERD ]
8:33 am
Oh, don't remind me. Please
tell me you didn't send that
to anyone?

[ ELLIE SLOAN ]
8:34 am
I wouldn't dream of it, big
brother :)

[ DEREK SHEPHERD ]
8:35 am
Elizabeth Mary Sloan, what
did you do?

[ ELLIE SLOAN ]
8:36 am
Ooh, full name. I must be in
trouble.

Do you know how you have
four sisters? Well, they all just
got a picture of their big brother
on an elevator door.

[ DEREK SHEPHERD ]
8:38 am
I hate you.

[ ELLIE SLOAN ]
8:39 am
No, you don't.

Chuckling to herself, Ellie put away her phone and stepped off the elevator when she was suddenly cornered by a very wet April. "I have a problem and I need your help."

Ellie paused and looked at her. "What is it?" she asked. "And why are you so wet?"

"I met Andy out in the parking lot," April replied, ringing out her hair that was beginning to stick to her neck. "But that's not the point. Uh—he asked if I wanted to move in with him."

The blonde tilted her head. "I thought you were already living together."

"We were," she answered with a nod. "But then he moved back to Ohio to take care of his mom while she was sick. But now that she's better, he says thank you, by the way, he's coming back to Seattle. And he wants to move in together. Again."

"Well, that's great!" Ellie exclaimed and April shrugged. "It's not great? I thought you were falling in love with the man. Isn't this a good thing?"

"No, it—it is," she argued, shaking her head. "I just... What if we move in together, permanently this time, and I start to hate him? I mean... what if I hate the way he does the dishes or I make a food that he hates? I really like him, Ellie, I don't want to risk it."

Ellie sighed. "Then you need to tell him these fears, not me. If they're freaking you out this much, he should know this. He'd probably give you a whole speech to make you feel better."

April smiled lightly. "He would..."

"Talk to your boyfriend, Apes," Ellie said and the redhead looked up at her. "You just need to talk to him."

"Okay."

She hurried out of the lounge and passed Jackson in the doorway making him look at her. "Why is April wet?" he asked his girlfriend.

Ellie shrugged. "Just relationship worries." He nodded slowly before handing her an iced coffee. "Ooh, coffee." She furrowed her brows when he followed with a bag and she looked inside. "And a muffin...?" She looked up at him. "You're bribing me, aren't you? What did you do?"

"Nothing!" he exclaimed, mildly offended at her assumption.

"Then something is about to happen and you're preparing me," she amended and set down the baked good and drink. "Spit it out, Jackson."

He bit his bottom lip. "Uh—youhaveacasewithBaileytoday."

Ellie blinked slowly at the speed of his response. "What?"

He paused and let out a breath. "Your cancer patient needed a general consult, and—uh—Meredith and Webber weren't available so... you have a case with Bailey today..." She stared back at him. "Ellie?" She scoffed, shaking her head, and walked out of the attendings' lounge. "Ellie? Ellie, wait!"

Jackson hurried out of the lounge, attempting to keep up with the angry blonde which proved to be a much harder task than he anticipated. Derek was standing at the nurse's station when he saw Ellie speed past him.

"Avery?" he asked, glancing back at the man. "What's with her?"

"Ellie is slightly... angry," he replied, trying to catch his breath. "And I'm concerned that she might actually hurt someone."

Derek frowned. "It's Ellie," he countered. "She wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Would she hurt Bailey?" Jackson asked and Derek paused. They quickly followed her just as Ellie found Owen and Cahill standing outside of a conference room.

"Chief. I need a word. Right now."

"Can it wait, Sloan?" he asked with a sigh, turning to look at her. "I have a meeting with the nurses—"

"No," she interrupted, shaking her head. "It cannot."

He nodded and let out a breath. "Okay? What can I do for you?"

"I thought I specifically requested that I am not on any cases with Dr. Bailey for the foreseeable future?" she asked and crossed her arms. He opened his mouth. "Don't you remember our little meeting? Because I do, and I recall you agreeing to those terms. It's on a recording if you want a refresher."

"Dr. Sloan—"

"Stay out of this," she told Cahill with a frown. "This isn't hospital business." She looked back at Owen. "You promised me that if there was ever a kid or a need for an ortho surgeon, you would get Robbins, Karev, or Torres. That you would keep her away from me. You promised me, Owen!"

"I know," he said with a nod. "But, today, you're the only person we have available."

"Then I'll switch. Alex will switch with me, won't you, Alex?" She looked back at the man who had appeared when he heard shouts and he nodded. "See? He'll switch. Get me off her case."

"Dr. Sloan—"

Ellie groaned and looked back at Cahill. "Can you ever just stay out of it?" she asked in frustration. She looked around the hallway and saw everybody was watching her. "Take a picture, it'll last longer!"

Jackson, Derek, and Alex all watched her walk out of the hallway and the peds surgeon chuckled. "Damn, Ellie is getting mean. I love it." Jackson looked at him and let out an exasperated sigh.

☀️

"SO, IT'S POSSIBLE?" Ellie was on the phone, leaning her head on her hand while playing with a pen in her other hand. "Well, that's great! Can you get down to the hospital tonight?" She looked up and immediately sighed. "I gotta go, Martha. Talk soon."

She collected her belongings and started walking away when Bailey stood in front of her, making her stop. "Ellie, please, just—just wait for a minute." The blonde sighed and tilted her head. "About what I said that day, I'm really sorry, you have to know that."

Ellie nodded, clicking her tongue. "Good to know."

Bailey frowned. "That's it?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want a hug?" Ellie asked sarcastically. "Or did you really think that that weak-ass apology was going to work?"

"I—"

"You don't realize how much those words hurt me, do you?" she continued, furrowing her brows. "You just think you can Bailey your way out."

Bailey raised her eyebrows. "'Bailey my way out'?" she repeated.

Ellie nodded. "Every time you do something offensive, you wait a few days, apologize, and everything's fine. Well, you can't do that now."

"I'm just helping on your case," she said and Ellie paused. "Please."

"Don't you get it?" she asked, turning back to look at her. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you, or, frankly, work with you. There are plenty of other surgeons in this goddamn building, talk to one of them!"

"I'm trying to apologize!" Bailey exclaimed and Ellie groaned. "Do you want me to get down on my knees? Because I'll get down on my knees. I'm sorry, Ellie."

"I don't want your groveling," Ellie answered, shaking her head with a frown. "I want you to leave me alone. Please." She looked down when she felt her phone buzz and saw a text from Derek telling her to meet him in the parking lot. "Talk to Alex. He's taking over that case."

She set her chart down on the desk and made her way outside, immediately being greeted by the Seattle downpour. She squinted in an attempt to find their meeting place through the rain and frowned when she saw a large black van.

"Really?" she asked herself, walking toward it and sitting in the passenger seat. "Nice. Very inconspicuous."

Derek shrugged. "Well, I wanted to meet outside of the hospital, but it was raining, so this was my solution."

Ellie nodded. "I won't even question how you got a black van on such short notice..." She looked behind her. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Stan Grossberg," he replied, gesturing between the two. "Stan, this is Ellie Sloan. Mark's younger sister."

"Ah." He nodded. "My condolences for your loss."

"Uh—thanks..."

"Stan is my financial advisor," Derek told her and she hummed. "I asked him about the feasibility of our idea."

"So you're about three days behind me," Ellie said and they looked at her. "Martha's on her way from Spokane." She glanced between the two men. "Martha's my financial advisor. She's new after I fired the previous idiot who was incapable of doing his job. So, Stan, what can you tell me that Martha hasn't?"

"Well, under federal law—"

"—physicians can't own and run the hospital for which they work," Ellie finished with a nod. "But if we found a nonprofit or for-profit, it could potentially work. Martha's calling people for me now." She dug into her pocket. "I think it'd be best if you call her. She's already got a system going. And let me know what the others say. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and try to avoid Bailey for the rest of my life."

"Oh, she apologized," Derek said with a sigh and she paused, holding her hand on the door handle. "Can't you forgive her?"

"No, Derek, I can't," she replied, turning to look back at him. "Because what she said hurt me. I thought you of all people would understand that."

☀️

ELLIE HELD THE umbrella over her and Arizona while they waited for Meredith, Derek, and Cristina outside of the hospital.

"Where is our van?" Derek asked as he and Meredith joined them.

Ellie shrugged. "Someone moved it."

"Why?"

"Because vans move," she replied in an obvious tone and he rolled his eyes at her.

"Hey." Arizona waved her hand to get their attention and they looked over at her. "Bailey's quitting."

"What?"

The blonde sighed. "If this can happen, we need to make this happen. Fast."

Ellie looked back at her and blinked slowly. "Wait, wait." Arizona met her gaze. "Does this mean that you're in? Like... one-hundred percent in?"

Arizona nodded. "I'm in."

Ellie could barely contain her squeal. "Oh, I could kiss you!"

"So what's the next step?" Meredith asked the group.

"Well, we certainly don't have enough money," Derek replied with a sigh. "We're gonna have to find the rest somewhere else."

Meredith looked at him. "Can we do that in three days?"

"It's two now," Ellie told her, letting out a breath. "What about Cristina? Is she in?"

She shrugged. "I don't know now."

"Well, ask her," Arizona said, gesturing behind Meredith.

Cristina hurried to join Meredith under her umbrella and looked at the group. "It's happening tonight. Pegasus wants to move up the closing. They want to buy the hospital tonight."

Ellie furrowed her brows. "What?"

"How do you know?" Derek asked her.

"Owen told me."

Meredith looked at her. "Well, did you say anything to him?"

Cristina shook her head. "No, I didn't say anything, but we have to do it. For Owen. We have to do this now."

"We can't do anything before tonight," Arizona contradicted. "There's nothing we can do."

Ellie looked around before shrugging. "Well, there's one thing we can do." They looked back at her. "But I don't know if you'll like it. Do you trust me? Like, fully trust me?"

"Yeah."

"Absolutely."

Derek looked at her. "What do you got, Ellie?"

A short time later, they walked through the hospital, making their way to the conference room. Ellie walked inside alone and sucked in a breath.

"Oh, Dr. Sloan," Cahill greeted. "Come in. We were just—"

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she said, a knot starting to form in her stomach. "I'd like to speak to Dr. Hunt for a moment if that's okay."

Owen nodded. "Uh—what's up?" She glanced behind her when the others joined her and he furrowed his brows. "Guys?"

"I'd like to tender my resignation," Ellie said, turning back to look at her and he paused. "Effective immediately."

Meredith nodded, moving to stand beside Ellie. "Me, too. I quit."

"I quit, too," Derek added.

Arizona cleared her throat. "Me, too."

Owen looked expectantly at Cristina who stepped forward and met his disappointed gaze. "I quit, too."

Ellie nodded to herself and left the conference room, walking into the attending's lounge. "He thinks we stabbed him in the back," Cristina said, closing the door behind her.

"Well, all we did was buy some time to slow down the sale so we can come up with the money," Meredith told her.

She nodded. "I know, I know."

"Martha says we can meet now," Ellie said and Derek looked at her, hanging up from his phone call.

"Stan's with her," he added. "They've made your living room into a statistics-looking area."

"Lovely..."

Arizona nodded. "Okay, I'll go get my stuff."

"Well, we just quit," Cristina said with a sigh. "So we definitely need to get our stuff."

"What about our patients?" Meredith asked.

"Oh, I got that covered," Ellie reassured her as the others began thinking of their patients. "Richard is on general, Jackson and April are volunteering for everything, Callie is doing ortho, Alex is on peds. Russell is still around and Derek hasn't been back long. They'll be fine."

The door opened and Richard walked in with Ross. "Dr. Shepherd?" he asked. "This young man has something to say to you."

Ellie chuckled softly as Ross stepped forward. "Did you get them all?"

"Pretty much," he answered with a smile.

"Good work, Ross," Derek said, nodding. "Go home."

Richard furrowed his brow and looked around the group as the intern left the room. "Something's going on here. What's going on?"

"You'll know soon," Ellie replied. "But thank you for taking our patients." He nodded and closed the door behind him.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Cristina asked, sitting down on the couch in defeat.

Ellie shook her head. "Richard will be fine."

"No, Owen," she corrected and they looked at her. "This is wrong. I'm gonna go talk to him. I have to explain."

"No, Cristina, no." Meredith stopped her. "It's the right thing to do, for his sake. When the time is right, we'll tell him, and he'll understand."

Cristina sighed. "I don't know if he will..."

☀️

"THE FIRST THING you'll need to do is to form an LLC so that you can legally get all your funds in one place," Stan said. The group had gathered in Ellie and Jackson's apartment, the latter at the hospital on call, and the two financial advisors stood in front of them.

"And," Martha added. "You'll need a name for your new cooperation."

Arizona stared at them. "What did we just do?"

"Do you know what you'd like to call yourselves?" Martha asked.

"How about 'the bitter pills'?" Cristina suggested, taking a sip of her beer.

"'Epic failure'?" Arizona tested.

"'Death spiral'?"

Derek groaned, shaking his head. "'Blind leading the blind, incorporated'?"

Martha and Stan glanced at each other. "It could be anything," the woman said to them. "Let's keep thinking."

Ellie looked around the room, the past year of their life flashing through her mind. She, Derek, and Meredith all lost a sibling; Arizona lost her leg; Cristina was still suffering from PTSD; Derek was still undergoing physical therapy to use his hand again.

But they all survived.

They did that.

"How about 'the survivors'?" Ellie suggested and they looked at her. She shrugged. "Look at us. We're all here. We survived."

"The survivors," Derek repeated with a smile. "I like it."

"Yeah."

Ellie took a sip of her Diet Coke. "To the survivors..."

☀️

━ author's note:

and with that (since she's not mentioned in the next chapter), alana cahill is gone!

we're entering one of my favorite versions of ellie--her being a boss. it's one of the best versions of her in my opinion.