chapter fifty-three ━ the cardio goddess returns
( season nine, episode six )

❝Your girlfriend already said
that.❞

ELLIE STARED AT Jackson as the soft morning light slowly filled the area. She had been sleeping peacefully—or, as peacefully as she slept nowadays—when she was unkindly awoken by her boyfriend leaping on top of her.

After a lot of swearing—and the promise that he would get her a coffee before work—she reluctantly got out of bed and allowed him to take her somewhere. She was thinking perhaps a coffee shop or a restaurant for breakfast. Instead, Jackson brought her to—

"A tennis court?" she asked, staring at her boyfriend in confusion. "You brought me to a tennis court at the crack of dawn when we could have been sleeping?"

He nodded. "Yes," he replied, oblivious to the annoyance in her tone. "And you're gonna thank me later."

"I doubt it," she quipped.

She narrowed her eyes as Jackson pulled out a tennis racket and a basket of tennis balls. "Here," he said, handing her the racket. She raised her eyebrows and looked back at him making him sigh. "I know you have a meeting with your lawyers today, and I know how much you don't like them, so..." He held out a tennis ball to her. "You can take out your frustrations by hitting these."

"You want me to hit tennis balls to get out my frustrations?" Ellie repeated, her brows still furrowed. "You do know that I made varsity tennis when I was in eighth grade, right? This could turn out badly for you."

"Yes," he replied, letting out a breath. "You mention that whenever I make the dumb mistake of saying you're not competitive—which, yes, you are. Just trust me, okay?"

"I do trust you," she said with a nod. "I just don't understand why we had to do this at the crack of dawn. I have interns who are extremely annoying most of the time and I need sleep to deal with them." He tilted his head and gave her his best puppy dog eyes which made her instantly melt. "Okay."

He smiled happily and handed her a tennis ball. With an eye roll, she tossed it in front of her before hitting the racket against it. She held out her hand—watching the tennis ball travel a far distance—waiting for it to be filled by Jackson.

"See?" he said with a victorious smile. "I told you this would help."

"Yeah, yeah." She hit yet another tennis ball, though with much more force. "Just keep giving me tennis balls."

"Yes, ma'am." After half an hour of smashing every single tennis ball she was given, Jackson let out a breath once she had stopped. "Okay. Remind me not to get on your bad side."

"Give me another one," she told him.

With much more caution than when he had begun, Jackson obliged and gave her a tennis ball.

Stupid Mark for dying. Thunk. Lexie dying. Thunk. Mark is dead. Thunk. Trauma. Thunk. PTSD. Thunk. Derek's damaged hand. Thunk. Arizona's amputated leg. Thunk. Settlement talks. Thunk. Callie. Thunk.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Jackson held back her hand, keeping her from hitting another tennis ball. "Take a breath, Ellie."

She rolled her neck and let out a breath. "That felt good."

Jackson nodded wordlessly, glancing at her. There was a moment of silence in the morning air before he cleared his throat. "Uh—so—how about that coffee?"

☀️

ELLIE HAPPILY MUNCHED on the muffin that Jackson had gotten her—making good on his promise after waking her up at five in the morning—as they walked into the attendings' lounge. However, before she could put away her belongings, April cornered her.

"Ellie," she said, her eyes widened. "I need to talk to you. You don't mind if I take your girlfriend, do you, Jackson?"

"Well—"

"Thank you!" she squealed, cutting off Jackson and taking Ellie by the arm, dragging her out of the room.

"—okay, then."

April pulled Ellie into an on-call room and locked the door behind them. The blonde sat on the bed, watching her best friend in concern. "Apes?" she asked cautiously. "Did something happen?"

She turned to face her and ran a hand through her red hair. "I need advice," she said. "And I wasn't sure how to broach this because... well, it might be kind of awkward. I don't know—"

"April," Ellie interrupted and she paused, looking at her. "What's wrong?"

She pressed her lips together and let out a breath. "It's about Andy..." Ellie nodded, tilting her head. "He... He broached the topic of a future... with me..."

"Okay...?"

"And, I—I kinda freaked," she said and Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Don't get me wrong, I—I like that he's thinking about the future, but—but I'm not. At least not yet."

Ellie nodded. "Well, did you tell him that?" she asked.

"No," April answered, shaking her head. "I kinda... ran away and came to work..."

"Oh." Ellie fluttered her lips and leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. "Well..." She looked up at the redhead. "April, you really like him. I can see it in your eyes."

"Yeah," she said, a small smile tugging at her lips that made Ellie smile softly. "Yeah, I do."

"That might be why the idea of the future is so scary to you," she continued gently. "You like him so much that you're scared it might disappear if you mess it up. But... Apes, Andy isn't like that. He's a good guy and you deserve a good guy."

April let out a breath and sat down beside Ellie. "I've always dreamed about who my future husband would be. And, for whatever reason, Andy is just that. So, if he's the right guy, why am I so freaked out?"

"Because you're in love," Ellie said, linking her arms with her best friend. "You're in love, Apes." April glanced at her, nodding slowly. "You should talk to him. Because he will listen. I promise."

"Are you not angry that I'm dating your ex?" she asked.

Ellie frowned. "Why would I be angry?" she replied. "You're a human being who has feelings. And besides, Andy and I are on good terms, we're friends. There wasn't any drama. And I'm with Jackson, so I'm not over here plotting my revenge against you. So, I think this calls for a double date, don't you think?"

April nodded with a smile. "And this time, Jackson won't be spending the entire meal being jealous that you were dating Andy and not him. Thank you, Ellie."

Ellie nodded and watched her leave the on-call room before she furrowed his brows, following her out of the room. "Wait. What do you mean he was jealous?"

☀️

ELLIE AND MEREDITH walked over to one of the patient beds in the ER where Stephanie Edwards already was, ready to present to her two superiors.

"Brian Danziger, seventeen," she began, handing the chart to Ellie. "He passed out in first-period English." The peds surgeon started flipping through the information while Meredith began examining him. "Uh—severe abdominal pain, tremors, and he's hypertensive. His parents are on their way."

Ellie nodded. "Alright. Brian, were you drinking this morning?" she asked the teenager. "Did you take anything?"

"No, I don't take drugs," he replied, grimacing before letting out a grunt of pain. "Oh, God! What happened?"

"He's distended," Meredith told Ellie who was still standing at the foot of the bed, thoroughly looking over the boy's appearance. "And he's got tenderness in the right upper quadrant."

She leaned closer to the general surgeon. "Does he look jaundiced to you?" she asked.

"A little," she replied quietly before turning to their patient. "Brian, I'm gonna need you to lie back down, please." As he followed her directions, a clump of hair remained in Meredith's hand. "I—Oh, Ellie."

She looked between the clump of hair and the teenager. "Uh—alright," she said, clearing her throat and looking at their intern. "Make sure you get L.F.T.s, coags, a tox screen, and an abdominal CT."

"Edwards, what do you think this is?" Meredith asked her.

"I think..." She looked at Brian and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't know."

"That's alright," Ellie said, shaking her head. She glanced at Meredith. "We don't either."

☀️

ELLIE WALKED OVER to the nurse's station, handing a clipboard to Meredith when she saw a brunette sitting next to her. "Hey, the prodigal Yang returns," she said with a smile. "I've missed seeing you around here, Cristina. Sorry about your attending at Mayo."

"It's nice to see you, too, Ellie," she replied, looking up. "And, thanks."

Meredith cleared her throat and looked up from the scans at Ellie. "Um—Brian Danziger's sedated," she said. "His B.P.s down a little."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Tox screen's negative. His L.F.T.s and I.N.R. are elevated. Did you get a good look at his liver?" she asked, pointing at the scan.

"Oh, the prodigal Yang returns," Jackson said as she and Meredith continued to talk about their patient's case.

"Your girlfriend already said that," Cristina told him, not looking up from her paperwork.

Jackson frowned. "Really, Ellie? Stealing my jokes?"

Ellie looked over at him and shrugged with an innocent smile. "Hey." She and Jackson looked at Cristina who was leaning forward on the desk. "Uh—what do you know about the new cardio chief—Jeff Randall?"

"Russell," they both corrected in unison. "Nothing."

Cristina nodded. "Yeah. No one named Jeff has ever done anything substantial." She let out a breath. "I gotta go and meet this Jeff Schmuck."

"You were right," Meredith said and Ellie looked over. "About the liver."

She walked over to the computer that Meredith sitting in front of and looked down at the scans she was pointing at. "Ah, crap," she muttered with a sigh. She looked up at the time on the computer. "Mer, we gotta go."

Meredith followed her gaze and nodded. Jackson sent them a reassuring look and they made their way to the conference room, joining Derek, Callie, and Owen.

Their lawyers walked in and closed the door behind her. "At this point, it's about assessing these emotional damages. So we'll need to hear everything."

The door opened and Cristina walked inside, muttering an apology for being late.

"You must be Dr. Yang," the male lawyer said with a smile. "Glad you could be here. Have—Have a seat."

"Dr. Hunt, I guess you won't be necessary as proxy anymore," the female lawyer added, looking at Owen.

"Uh—uh—I'm here more out of support for my staff."

Derek nodded. "Yeah. I don't mind if he stays."

"Today—uh—" The male lawyer cleared his throat and Ellie looked at him. "We—We'd like to get some statements about—uh—continued physical, but—but also mental or emotional difficulties you might have suffered since the crash."

"What if we don't have any?" Cristina asked them.

"Well—um—w—why don't we talk?" he suggested with a shrug. "We'll see what comes up. Almost anything can be helpful to monetize your injuries."

"How do we do that?" Meredith asked.

"We use a formula," the female lawyer answered. "It's—uh... your medical bills plus pain and suffering equal to three times your medical bills plus flat-rate hard-tissue injuries, plus loss of income, plus lost earning capacity—" Ellie let out a breath as the woman continued. "—plus any other foreseeable harms, for each of you. So, we're talking about a sizable award."

"Yeah," Callie said, letting out a small breath and Ellie glanced at her.

"Far more substantial than the settlement they offered you."

Ellie cleared her throat. "Where does all that money come from?" she asked and Derek nodded in agreement.

"Well, we're looking at the possibilities now," the female lawyer told them. "Uh—the Charter Company—uh—aircraft manufacturer, parts manufacturers, the pilot of course."

Ellie furrowed her brows. "Wait, wait, Jerry? Did you just say Jerry?"

"Who's Jerry?" Callie asked.

"The pilot," Derek said.

"He was there with us," Ellie added, shaking his head. "He broke his neck. He's paralyzed now. You're gonna go after him?"

"Well, if we find he was negligent..." She looked at Callie. "Shouldn't we?"

"Oh, just shut up!" she snapped and everyone's eyes went wide. "You weren't up there with us. You weren't. I understand that you lost your best friend and had to make a decision about your wife's leg, but you weren't in the sky when it fell. You don't know Jerry." She looked back at the lawyers. "You can't go after him. He didn't do anything. If you'll all excuse me."

"Dr. Sloan, if you'd just—"

Ellie slammed the conference room door behind her, not allowing the lawyer to finish his sentence.

☀️

"SO, WE'RE NOT sure if it's cancerous, but there is a mass on his liver, and it is hemorrhaging," Meredith said, she and Ellie standing across from Brian's parents in his room. "So, we'd like to do a biopsy as soon as possible."

His father nodded. "Alright. Of course."

"There's something else," Ellie told them, letting out a small sigh. "Brian's symptoms—the jaundice, the hair loss, the high blood pressure—coupled with a hepatic lesion... it's all consistent with—uh—the use of anabolic steroids."

"What?"

"What the hell?" Brian said from his bed and Ellie looked at him.

"Brian..." his mother asked, turning to face him. "Are you taking steroids?"

"No!"

Meredith let out a breath. "Have you noticed changes in behavior?" she asked them. "Uh—moodiness, depression..."

"Shut up!" Brian snapped. "Just shut up! I said I don't take them!"

"Brian—"

Ellie nodded. "Unprovoked aggression?" she continued.

"Don't listen to them," he said to his parents.

Brian's father looked at the two surgeons. "He's not even an athlete," he told them. "He's in the model UN."

"Brian, baby..." His mother leaned forward. "Just tell me. If you did it, honey... just tell me."

"I wanted..." Ellie and Meredith looked at each other. "Girls only like the guys with these crazy bodies now. I wanted a shot at someone liking... me."

Ellie sighed quietly. "Brian, how long have you been taking them?" she asked him.

He shook his head. "I swear, I've barely taken any."

"For two years," his mother said, her voice breaking as she looked at her son. "Since sophomore year. That's when you stopped being my boy."

Ellie glanced at Meredith and let out a breath, following her out of the room. After discussing their plan for surgery, they went their separate ways.

"Dr. Sloan?" She looked behind her and immediately rolled her eyes. "Dr. Sloan, please, we just—"

She walked to the end of the hallway and saw Jackson standing at the nurse's station. He looked up when he saw her. "Hey."

"Hi," she replied before gesturing behind her. "Lawyer guy? This is my boyfriend, Dr. Jackson Avery. Jackson, meet one of our lawyers. Jackson can answer all your questions for you."

Jackson looked at Ellie. "Uh—" He held up a finger to the lawyer before pulling Ellie into an empty room. "What am I answering?" he asked.

She sighed. "The lawyers want statements from us about the crash," she said. "And, according to them—and their cornering me—mine can be important because I had to perform a surgery on Mark in the woods. And it didn't work. But, I—I just can't do it. It's all I think about. I can't. Please? Do this for me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I got it."

"Thank you." Relief flooded her face and she leaned her forehead on his chest. "Thank you. I owe you one."

"No you don't," he said, kissing her forehead and pushing toward the elevator. "Go save a life. I got this." He watched her get into the elevator before turning around and seeing the lawyer was still standing to the side. He let out a sigh. "Let's get this over with..." He followed him into a room and sat down across from him. "Okay, what do you wanna know?"

"Just some questions about Dr. Sloan before and after the crash," the lawyer replied, pulling out his notepad. "So, how do you know Dr. Sloan?

"Uh—we met as interns at Mercy West before we merged with Seattle Grace," Jackson answered. "Been friends for years, then we started dating a few months before the crash. Still together."

The lawyer nodded. "Okay. And how would you describe Dr. Sloan before the crash?"

"I don't know," he said with a shrug. "Happy, perky—what exactly do you want to know?"

"Listen..." The lawyer leaned forward. "This could be very beneficial for all of the survivors. We just need a detailed report of what happened to her."

Jackson let out a breath and sat back in his chair. "Okay. Uh... When I first met Ellie, she was the first person I had ever met who could always turn a bad day into a good one," he said, thinking of the blonde he was slowly but surely falling in love with. "Whether that was losing a patient or spilling soda all over herself, she always found a way to make it positive.

"And she was really upbeat and perky," he continued. "Her brothers even gave her a nickname when she was little—sunshine. Or, a big ball of sunshine. And that couldn't be more true. She was so energetic, even with the littlest sleep. And she made everyone around her... better. She had this smile that was just infectious and a laugh that made you want to laugh—even if you didn't know what you were laughing about."

"And after?"

Jackson stayed quiet for a moment. "And after the crash..." he repeated distantly. "Her smile is a little dimmer. Her eyes are filled with anger and sadness. She's still Ellie, but—she's not the same Ellie. Whatever they went through in those woods... it changed her. And, in my opinion, not in the best way."

"We understand that you worked under Dr. Sloan's brother, Mark Sloan," the lawyer said, looking up from his notes. "Can you tell us a bit about their relationship?"

Jackson sighed. "The Sloan siblings were... they're unlike any other siblings that I have ever seen. The way that Ellie's eyes light up whenever she talks about him; the way that Mark had a little smile on his face whenever she was mentioned. He had his problems, but... Ellie was never one of them.

"They were as close as they could be despite their age difference. And, after he died... a part of Ellie died with him."

"Could you elaborate?" he asked.

The day after Mark's death, Jackson knocked softly on the bedroom door, opening it quietly. He poked his head inside and saw Ellie wrapped in her blue blanket, staring at the wall.

"Ellie? Sweetheart?"

"Tell me this is all a bad dream," she whispered, her voice hoarse. "Just tell me that it's a nightmare and when I wake up, he'll still be here. Smiling at me..."

Jackson's heart sank as he sat down beside her. "I wish I could..."

"Why do bad things happen to good people?" she asked, her eyes puffy and red from crying. "Mark was in no way a perfect human being, but he was a good person. And I'm a good person. I never did anything bad. I never cheated on a test; I never stole anything; I never broke up someone's marriage. So then why is he dead? What did I ever do to lose him? What did he ever do to die?"

He sighed. "I wish I could take this pain from you. I don't know how to help you, Ellie."

"You can't help me," she replied in a small voice. "My foot hurts." He looked over at her. "I think I was walking on a broken ankle for too long. But it's nothing compared to Arizona; she doesn't even have a leg anymore. And Cristina's in Minnesota. Minnesota of all places. And Derek may never operate again..."

"Ellie, please, try and get some sleep."

She shook her head. "If I sleep, then I'll wake up eventually. And I'll wake up to him still being dead, which means that everything was real." Her voice shook as tears fell down her cheeks and she snuggled further into her blanket. Jackson laid down next to her and hugged her close. "We were in a plane crash."

"I know."

"My brother is dead."

Jackson paused. "I know..."

"Is there anything else?" Jackson asked, shaking the memories out of his mind. "Can I go?"

The lawyer nodded. "Yeah. You can go. Thank you, Dr. Avery."

Meanwhile, Ellie was in surgery with Meredith and she handed a container to Stephanie. "Take this to path," she said. "Get us an answer as quick as you can."

"Got it."

Stephanie ran out of the OR and Ellie turned back to Meredith. "So... you're selling your house to Alex?" she asked.

"Maybe," she replied with a shrug. "He keeps giving me a list of things to change or fix. It's complicated. Uh—have you talked to the lawyers yet?"

Ellie let out a breath. "I convinced them to talk to Jackson," she said. "Or convinced Jackson to talk to them. However it came out, Jackson is talking to them for me. I can't go through it again."

"Nightmares?" Meredith asked.

She nodded. "At least once a week. You?"

"I won't let Derek turn off the lights."

Ellie sighed and rolled her neck. "Do you think it'll ever get easier?"

Meredith shrugged. "I don't know. I hope so."

Just then, Stephanie ran in and the two fellows looked at her. "I've got the results back from path," she told them. "It's cancer."

Ellie looked back at Meredith. "Damn it."

☀️

ELLIE SAT IN the attending's lounge when Derek walked in, seeing both her and Callie inside. "They're waiting for us," he told them. "You alright?"

"You ever wish we would've just taken the settlement?" Callie asked them and Ellie briefly looked up from her reading. "Then we wouldn't have to relive this over and over."

Derek sighed. "Well... none of us wanted to settle—"

"I did," Callie said, interrupting the neurosurgeon. "We all did. In fact, we voted."

"Then why did you agree not to?" Derek asked, furrowing his brows.

Callie scoffed. "You know why."

He shook his head and walked around, looking back at her. "That—That's not fair."

"It's true, though."

"It came down to you and you agreed," he reminded her.

"Because you two pushed us!" Callie exclaimed, gesturing at him and Ellie. "You guys came in late with your big speech—"

Derek looked at her. "What are you talking—"

"And you—you did, Derek!" Callie argued. "You decided and you pushed—"

"I did not push you."

"And when you do that, no one's gonna go against you," she continued while Ellie looked at her. "And no one's gonna argue with Ellie, especially after Mark died, so how was I supposed to stand up?"

Ellie scoffed and shook her head. "You know what? I have really tried to be nice, but I am sick and tired of listening to you complain about how hard this crash has been for you. Really, I am so sorry that your best friend died and that you lost the father of your child. And I'm very sorry that you and your wife are having marriage issues. Really, I am.

"But you need to stop acting like you were on that plane with us. That you experienced the same trauma as us. Because you didn't. You weren't sitting next to Arizona when the back of the plane came off, taking Lexie with it. You weren't with us when Lexie banged on the side of the plane so we could find her. And you weren't with us when Mark realized that Lexie was dying and he couldn't do anything about it."

"Ellie—"

She shook off Derek's hand. "The only reason that you're here is because you're Arizona's proxy. And as soon as she comes back, there won't be a need for you. Meredith is representing Lexie just as I am Mark because he wanted that. So you don't get to sit there and judge us for not wanting to take that blood money. Because that's what it was. Blood money. Money to trick us into silence, to cover up the fact that they're the reason that Mark and Lexie are dead."

"That money would have helped Sofia! And you know it!"

"Oh, bullshit!" Ellie snapped, shaking her head. "Stop using Sofia as leverage. She's taken care of. And do you know why? Because of the damn trust fund I set up for her. The one that has over thirty million dollars in it. So think of another argument. Stop playing survivor. It's not attractive."

☀️

THE GROUP WAS once again sitting in the conference room at the end of the night and Ellie was actively avoiding Callie's continuous glances at her.

"Thank you all for your cooperation today," the female lawyer told them. "The next step is for us to file a complaint against the parties."

"Can we leave the pilot out of this?" Cristina asked with a sigh. "The man is a paraplegic now."

Derek nodded. "Yeah, I agree. We should take Jerry off the list."

"Wait, no," Callie argued and Ellie rolled her eyes. "What if he was drunk or—or asleep and—"

Meredith shook her head. "No, we talked to him."

"Dr. Hunt, I'm gonna have to ask you to step out now," the lawyer said to him. "This is only appropriate for victims of the crash."

"Oh." Owen nodded and stood up. "Okay."

As soon as Owen was out of the room, the female lawyer closed her notebook and looked them all in the eye. "Folks, we're not going after the pilot. We need to investigate him to make our case, but the damages we'll be seeking will be far greater than what the pilot could be accountable for. Or the charter company, for that matter."

"We'll be going after bigger fish," the male lawyer added.

"More and more, it's looking like the best strategy will be to look for fault with the hospital itself," she finished.

"Boise?" Meredith asked.

"No, this hospital." Ellie furrowed her brows and shared a glance with Derek. "The people who put you on that plane."

Ellie followed the lawyers' gazes and it landed on Owen talking to a nurse. "But..." She cleared her throat, shaking her head. "I've seen the hospital budgets. Seattle Grace can't take that kind of a hit. They'd be bankrupt."

The lawyer nodded and Ellie let out a breath, hurrying out of the room, breathing heavily. She leaned against the wall.

"This is all my fault..."

☀️

━ author's note:

little psa: the plane crash ( and mark's subsequent death ) took a toll on ellie. so if you don't agree with her and her opinions of callie at the moment, please don't judge my baby too hard. she's a little ( a lot ) traumatized at the moment and isn't completely thinking straight. thank you.

also, second psa: april and matthew are not going to be a couple in this version of sunshine. if you read the original, you know how it played out, but i am giving april the happy romance she deserves and andy is my golden retriever baby who will give her the happy romance she deserves.

april and andy deserve a better fleshed-out romance, so i am giving it to them :)