Johnny's POV

"Johnny? Are you alright?" asked a voice on the other side of the door. They began to turn the doorknob. It was locked.

"Johnny, its Dal. Open up!" he said. I wiped the tears away quickly. I didn't want him to know that I was crying.

I got up, slowly walking to the door. I unlocked it and opened it.

"What do you want, Dal?" I asked. I tried to be as calm as possible.

"What's going on, Johnnycakes?" he replied. I felt a lump in my throat.

"Don't call me that!" I screamed. He looked taken aback.

"Why not? We always-," he started. I cut him off.

"Yeah, well Ponyboy's dying, and he used to call me that!" I shrieked. Dally looked scared.

"Jeez, Johnny. What are you talking about? Ponyboy's fine, he's just going through-" he started again.

I shrieked at the top of my lungs.

"He's dying and there's nothing I can do about it! He's dying, Dal! Dying!" I screamed even louder. He almost looked scared.

He pushed past me and sat on Pony's bed.

"Clearly we have to talk about what's going on," he stated. I shook my head.

"No. There's nothing to talk about!" I shouted. I was about to boil over.

"Johnny, I just want to help!" he yelled back. I clenched my fists.

"THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO! NOTHING. HE'S DYING!" I screamed. My throat burned.

I heard something.

-

The whole gang besides Pony was standing in the room or in the doorway. Everyone was white.

"Johnny, what's going on, buddy?" asked Sodapop. He walked up to the bed, and sat next to me.

That's when I began to shake and cry uncontrollably.

"He's gonna die! Pony's going to die and he's gonna be gone!" I yelled through sobs. Everyone looks at each other.

"He's not gonna die, Johnny. All they're doing is preforming some surgeries," stated Darry, quietly. I shook my head.

"He told me that he knows he's going to die. He's going to die!" I mumbled. I was completely shaken up.

"Ponyboy's strong, he's gone through a lot!" exclaimed Steve. I felt my shoulders drop.

"Yeah, Steve has a point. Pony's a fighter," Two Bit added on. I started to cry even more.

If only they knew.

"Don't worry about it, Johnnycakes. We're all here for you," said Dally. Before I knew it, I did something terrible.

I punched Dally in the jaw.

"Call me Johnnycakes one more time!"

-

I hadn't talked to anyone since my outburst. I think that everyone was scared of me.

No one hits Dallas Winston. No one.

I laid back on the bed, trying to think. I took one of Ponyboy's fuzzy blankets and draped it over my cold, hurt body.

I needed to dissect my feelings.

Thinking about Pony leaving me was tearing me apart. I didn't want him to leave, he couldn't leave me. I felt like the last ounce of happiness was being ripped away from me.

What was I supposed to do without Ponyboy? I felt like my world was about to end without him.

I wanted to build a life with him, a life around him.

But that chance was going to be gone.

He was going to be gone.

I heard a phone ring someplace in the house.

I ignored it.

I thought of our first kiss, and how it was sweet and gentle. He was so inexperienced, never kissing a girl before. But, I could feel his enthusiasm. I think that was the best kiss I ever had.

I was taken out of my thoughts when someone came barreling through the door.

I looked up at them. Two Bit.

"We have to go," he said, rushing the words out.

"What?" I replied, tiredly. I wasn't in the mood for anymore pranks.

"The doctor called. It's about Pony," he screeched.

We both rushed out of the room.

-

The waiting room of the hospital was dead silent.

I felt uncomfortable. I stood up. Everybody looked up at me.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I mumbled. Everyone nodded. Dal began to stand up.

"I'll come with-" he started. I cut him off.

"No. I want to go alone," I hissed. Dally sat back down, looking hurt.

I began to walk down the corridor.

-

When I got into the bathroom, I walked into a stall. I closed the door behind me, and locked it.

I put the toilet seat down, and sat on it. I put my face in my hands.

I was going to do something I hadn't done in a long time.

"Dear God," I began. My voice was shaky.

"Please, please don't let Ponyboy die. He means everything to me, and I don't think I could risk loosing him. He's my world, hell, he's my universe. I love him so much. Please protect my boyfriend," I stated. I began to cry.

"If you do have to take him, please let me say good bye, and please take him to a better place," I mumbled. I hoped that the latter wouldn't have to be necessary.

"Amen," I said, finishing up. I took a deep breathe in.

Everything was so much to take in. I couldn't believe what was happening was real. I wanted the events to all be fake, a part of a story. I wanted there to be a happy ending.

Right now, the ending was dark and grim. There looked like there'd be no light at the end of the tunnel.

Why did a Soc have to shoot Pony? Why did Pony have to be at the wrong place at the wrong time?

I felt like everything was all my fault. If only I told him that I loved him sooner, if only I didn't force him into Steve's arms. He'd be fine, he'd be living. He would be right next to me right now, clutching my hand.

I felt tears again, but I tried to fight them. I had to be strong for the both of us. He wanted me to be strong.

I got up, and unlocked the stall door. I stepped out.

I walked to the sink, splashing water on my face.

The bathroom door opened. There stood Soda.

"You have to go. It's about Pony."