(A/N; This chapter takes place throughout the whole time that Ponyboy's in a coma. This is his emotions, and his internal struggle.)

Something felt wrong. Something felt really wrong.

I knew I was alive, but there was a problem.

I couldn't move or speak. It was like I was stuck, despite the fact that I wanted to do things. Nothing was working even though I wanted it to.

I thought about the events that had happened prior to this.

Firstly, I remembered getting shot somehow. My memory was blurry, but I remembered someone with black hair and blue eyes next to me. I remembered having some sort of strange connection to them, almost like it was romantic. I couldn't remember who shot me, though. Maybe it was him.

I remembered getting together with Johnny. He had written me a beautiful, heartfelt letter expressing his feelings to me.

I remembered saying yes to him asking me to be his boyfriend.

Next, I remember Sodapop coming into my room, apologizing for something that he had done. I couldn't exactly remember what, but I tried to put the pieces together.

Soda often said stuff about Johnny, and like he was begging for forgiveness somehow. I remember a discussion about a fight, and a discussion about who he loved.

Based on the evidence, I could infer that Soda had fought Johnny and I somehow, and was now apologizing. When I thought about who he loved, I couldn't remember who he was talking about.

It must have been Sandy. Soda has been head over heels with her since the sixth grade. They were like a match made in heaven.

Then, I remembered a doctor coming into my hospital room.

Soda was with me, and we were both crying. Obviously, we had gotten bad news. Since I got shot, I assumed it was about me.

Maybe something was wrong.

And then I remembered.

He told me that I might need internal bleeding, and that I would need surgery. I remembered where I was now.

Next, I remembered writing a letter to Johnny. I remember saying that I loved him, but I knew that I was going to die. I left my love in a letter for him. I thought that I was going to die, yet here I was. I was awake, yet I was asleep at the same time.

I was still in the hospital, except I was motionless. I tried to weigh what was happening by logic, when I realized something.

I was in a coma.

Then, my theory was confirmed.

"Darrel Curtis?" asked someone. I think it was a doctor.

"We have some good and bad news," began the doctor. I listened closely.

"What is it?" questioned Sodapop out of nowhere. He sounded scared.

"He's in a coma."

The doctor confirmed my thoughts.

I tried to scream, but not a single muscle in my body would move. I felt like I could feel my heart beat, and I could feel myself breathing. Nothing else was working, though.

I tried to listen hard, trying to figure out everything. I tried to concentrate as hard as I could.

I could hear a distant beating noise. It was like a life line. I assumed that it was my heartbeat. I also heard a bunch of other small noises that were electronic. Maybe they were for my vitals or my blood pressure.

I heard a door open and then close. I wanted to jump out of my skin, but I couldn't react at all. Whoever it was walked closer and closer to the bed. I think they sat down.

"Hey, Ponyboy," whispered the voice. I recognized it, but I didn't know their name. When I thought about it, the voice reminded me of the guy with black hair that was at the scene when I got shot.

I wanted to respond, but I couldn't. I tried to listen.

"I know that you're probably mad at me right now. I'm sorry. If I knew that you were going to get shot by a Soc, I would have never taken you out. You mean everything to me," he began. I felt him grab my hand. I wanted to grab back, but I couldn't.

"I miss you, Pony. I feel like you understood me, and while Soda does a good job at that too, he's with Sandy," he stated. I kept thinking, trying to remember who was talking to me.

Suddenly, it dawned on me.

His name was Steve Randle.

Suddenly, memories began to flood back.

We dated for a while in a way. He took me on cute dates, like to coffee shops. We had shared many kisses, and he was really kind.

I didn't associate him with the feeling of love, though.

"I hope you make it Ponyboy, even if we end up not dating. Good luck," he mumbled. His voice shook when he mentioned us dating.

I heard footsteps, and then someone opened and closed the door.

I assumed that he had left.

-

Things had followed suit after Steve left. I would try to move, and it wouldn't work. I would try and talk, but my lips stayed shut.

There were multiple people who visited me. Darry, Sodapop, Dally, Two Bit, and Johnny would always swing around.

Sometimes, Dally and Two Bit would come together and try and joke around. I think that they thought that if they could make me laugh, that I'd wake up. I never reacted, though.

I overheard one of their conversations.

"I keep thinking that if we make jokes that Pony will wake up," stated Two Bit. I think he sniffled.

"Me too. I keep hoping that he'll laugh. I miss his laugh," whispered Dally. I heard a whimper.

I felt my heart tear in two.

It was a while later, maybe a week, maybe a few days. I couldn't keep track. Everyone had come to visit.

"Hello, boys," began a doctor.

"What's going on?" asked Darry. He was here a lot.

"We ran some tests, and it's really unlikely that Ponyboy is going to wake up.." he said, trailing off.

I wanted to scream.

I was here.

"What do you mean he's not going to wake up?" Johnny shrieked. It hurt my ears.

"It's alright, Johnny. It's alright," said Steve. I guess he was being a good guy.

I felt someone come close to me. They kissed my forehead.

"I'll come back later, my love," Johnny whispered.

It must have been a few hours when everybody came to visit me. They were all here. They were all here to see me die.

Everyone said their goodbyes.

First it was Darry.

"I love you, Pony. You were a good kid brother. It's not going to be easy without you," he said. I wanted to hug him.

Next was Soda.

"You were so great, Pony. I love you, brother," he whispered. I think he was crying.

Then, Dally spoke.

"You know kid, I was always hard on you. It was only 'cause I cared. I hope you do well in the next life. And, I'm gonna tell them how I feel. Just for you," he stated. I heard him choke up.

Next, was Two Bit.

"Man, I keep thinking that you're playing a prank. That you're going to wake up laughing at my jokes. You were good, kid. I'm gonna miss you," he mumbled, trying to sound happy. I knew deep down that he wasn't happy, and that he was truly depressed.

Then was Steve.

"Hi, Pony. You were such a great guy, even if we never officially dated. I'll never forget you, or your kisses," he said. I could tell that he wanted to say more, but couldn't.

Last, but not least, was Johnny.

"I'll see you in the next life. I love you, my dearest," he whispered. He was sobbing.

I felt him kiss me, while squeezing my hand.

I squeezed back.