I find myself in an empty room, an infinite void. The nothingness fades and forms the fort's courtyard. I see myself in it, but not recent me. I see my younger self, kid version of me. My friends are with me, also as kids.

We are talking about our futures and the big plans we have for ourselves. We claim that we'll be the greatest hunters from Fort Dragon. We claim we'll hunt down all monsters to extinction and be remembered as heroes.

Then I took my oath further than the rest. I claim I'll take the fort to even greater heights, and become the Fort's Master.

My friends laugh and doubt me, but their words only fuel my ambition.

I summoned the little magic I know and built a statue from nothing.

I roar that just like how I created the statue, I will create my future.

New kids join us, and among them I see Rose, but she is not a kid. As she is introduced, my statue cracks and falls into ruble. No one noticed this.

Rose says something and everyone goes silent. The new kids pick up the pieces of my statue and throw them at her. The rocks hit but they don't harm.

She looks at my way, I am no longer a kid, I am myself. I witness the hatred and do nothing about it.

Rose notices this and cracks. Just like my statue, she falls into pieces. Then I crack and turn to ash.

I wake up to the fury of the sun, and find myself alone in bed.

On top of Rose's last nightgown there is a note that reads, "I am gone to the dining hall for our breakfast. I crave for cheese so expect some if I don't eat it all on my way back. P.S. I am still thinking about our night :) "

I lay back to bed. The excitement of the reminder fades as I realize I might need to leave my room. A tiredness falls on me as my back rests on my sheets.

STOP BEING SO LAZY, YOU SLOTH! Val shut up, it's too early for this shit.

"Valeria it's your mother," a voice calls beyond my door as it knocks, "I'm coming in."

My mom walks in and sees me rotting in bed. "Please show some decency and cover up." She points out my dress half slip off showing my chest, "I know you got urges but at least show restraint."

"What do you want? I am sure you didn't come down here to complain."

"Can a mother not see her daughter? Fine, I'll keep it short. Before I start I'll admit there is an important matter to discuss, but it'll have to wait. There is an important announcement to be made at the dining hall before sundown. I expect you to be there."

"You couldn't ask Paya to share the message?"

"Can I not see if you're still alive?"

"Alright I'll go. Are we done?"

"What is wrong with you? You don't eat or bathe. You stay in your chamber all day. You haven't left the fort for over a year.

"You don't take requests or have completed any missions. You've abandoned your studies of magic.

"What happened with, 'I'll be the fort's master, before you'?

"You are a Fort's Shield, act like it. You're supposed to set an example, to inspire our Hunters.

"How are you planning to do that if you're not willing to show your face?

...

"You used to talk with me, what happened?"

An ice cold silence froze the room over.

No one says anything. She froze her gaze on me waiting for a response, but I couldn't say anything.

I broke my gaze and she finished, "Fine, you don't have to talk to me.

"Don't be late to the announcement. And for the love of anything sacred, change attire. It's winter, dress like it." She left my room and a blizzard of silence in it...

...

...

What am I doing? Why am I acting like this? I've fallen into the void and haven't tried to get out. BUT WHY TRY? WHY PLAY THIS MEANINGLESS GAME OF LIFE? SO THAT YOU CAN GO OUT THERE AND KILL MONSTERS? WHY? TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM DANGER? NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT PROTECTING! IT IS NOT ABOUT FIGHTING BACK! IT'S ABOUT STUBBORNLY FIGHTING THE FACT OUR WORLD HAS DIED! Val stop! I need to get out. AND INSTEAD OF ACCEPTING OUR NEW PREDICAMENT, WE KILL OURSELVES! WE KILL OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS! WE KILL EACH OTHER! ALL IN A PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO PRESERVE WHAT IT WAS! Val Shut Up!

I jump off my bed and change into my usual. I grab my coat and head out.

Walking down the halls I hear an ocean of voices in the distance. From it Hunters walk up the halls. A lot of them are new faces, but there are a few veterans too. They must have just arrived, almost all are still wearing their armor.

They head to rooms that were vacated most of the year. Some of them walk to private rooms, others walk to group share rooms, but no matter who they are, they all share the same miserable expression of tiredness.

I reach the ocean of voices and find myself in the dining hall. The tables are full of hunters, some who have been settled for the winter mix with others who have just arrived.

It's breakfast time, some manage to get food from the first batch, but others are stuck waiting for the second batch. The room is full of mixed expressions but primarily the room is happy.

LOOK AT ALL OF THEM! THEY ARE ALL HAPPY! HOW OFTEN CAN THEY SAY THAT? HOW OFTEN DO THEY ENJOY LIVING? HOW OFTEN DO THEY GET COMPANY?

"Valy" a voice calls me amongst the chaos. It's Rose sitting at a table with our friends Muri and Etaru.

I walk to their table, "Hi," I greet them.

"Val, how have you been?" Muri is the first to greet me back with her cheerful personality. Etaru gave me a head nod as he drank from his cup.

"Alright, don't got much to say," I responded.

"Valy you won't believe it," Rose took over, "they got cheese!" She cut a slice from a wheel and devoured it. She offers me the dagger to cut my own slice.

"They just gave you a whole cheese wheel?"

"Let's not focus on how I got the cheese, all it matters is that I got some. Plus we have to wait for our breakfast," Etaru and Muri got some food from the first batch, but Rose wasn't so lucky.

"How did you steal a whole cheese wheel? When the kitchen's so busy right now," Muri laughs.

"Steal? Who said anything about stealing?" Rose offers me the dagger again.

"No thank you, I am not hungry," I lied. She cuts a slice and shoves it in my mouth. We'll if she insists I might as well enjoy it- oh wow it's really good.

"Muri tell her the good news," asks Rose.

"You won't believe it, I got promoted to Honorary Hunter!"

"Congrats," I celebrated with her, "I was aware. I voted for you when The Table brought it up."

"You're not supposed to share that information," Etaru broke his silence.

"He voted for you too," I continued.

"It was anonymous voting, how do you know I did?"

"Let's not think about it."

"Aaw, thank you guys," Muri jumped in, "I can't wait to let Lerrono know."

"Where is Lerrono?" I ask, "He's usually with us at this time."

Etaru's expression changes, "He hasn't reported back to me in a while. If this continues I'll have to report him d-"

"He is just late," Muri interrupts, "His last mission was far east. That's why he's late this winter."

I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM. WHAT CAN POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO A HUNTER ON THE ROAD?

"Don't you get your own room with this promotion?" Rose quickly changed the subject.

"Yeah, It's not my personal room like Etaru's or Val's but it is private."

"Lucky you, I am jealous. Still stuck at Hunter rank."

"But you don't need a room," Etaru joins, "Don't you crash at Vals' on nights?"

"How do you know?" Rose and I quickly ask.

"Lets just say you two are not quiet about it," a heat takes over my head at the thought of others knowing our business, and then a bell rings indicating the second batch of breakfast.

"Save by the bell" Rose awkwardly adds, "I'll get our batch," she walks away.

I cut another cheese slice to keep me occupied from the heat.

"So other than Rose," Muri says, "What kind of adventures have you been up to?"

"Nothing really, I haven't left the fort since last winter."

"What, why?" Etaru cuts in.

What do I tell them? Why haven't I left the fort? I truly don't know. I just felt like there was no point. Do I tell them that? Would they understand? I am not sure I understand my own emotions.

"I don't know," I responded, "I just started to feel like there was no point to do anything.

"We risk so much every time we head out. We risk our comrades, we risk our loved ones, we risk our short time, and at the end it doesn't matter.

"Monsters always come back, and nothing is solved. In the end, we lose ourselves to the monsters."

"I am sorry but that's just bullshit," Etaru argues, "Yes, monsters do come back but it's not like it's the literal same monsters.

"We provide a moment of peace, and even if it's short term it's enough for humanity to stand back on its feet and fight back."

"I understand what you are saying Etaru," Muri jumps in, "I even agree with you, but Val also has a point. We risk so much out there, and sometimes it feels like our sacrifice is not appreciated. I am sure Rose can rel-"

"Uuu, what are yall talking about?" Rose interrupts with plates on each hand.

She rests one in front of me and hoards the other to herself, "I heard my name, what's the gossip?"

"No, we are not gossiping," I quickly inform, "It's nothing important."

"Val was sharing why she didn't leave the fort," Muri explained.

"You haven't left the fort?" Rose looks at me, a little saddened, "I would have liked to be part of that conversation."

"She was saying our work is useless."

"Ok Etaru, you're taking it personally," Muri defended me.

"Is this true Valy?"

"No, I just feel like there is no point.

"We fight so hard but in the end nothing gets accomplished. We sacrifice ourselves and the people around us for nothing.

"I want you all to look around. Look at that table, they're drinking their hearts out in competition. Look at that awkward table, they are probably on a date enjoying their first company in months. Look at that table waging their gold savings.

"Look at everyone around you, and wonder when was the last time they got to enjoy life like this?

"For a lot of them, their last winter.

"Hell, some don't even return for winter. We sacrifice living to go out hunting, but in the end monsters just come back."

"I understand what you are saying Val," Etaru says, "but that doesn't mean our work is for nothing.

"Why do you think we get to relax in winter?

"Yes monster activity drops around this time but that's not the answer. We work our ass off so that we can have these moments of peace.

"They don't just disappear in winter. There are less monsters in winter because we kill them all, and because of that we get to live."

"I fully agree with Valy," Rose proudly claims, surprising the table, even me, "Our work is meaningless and unnecessary.

"I don't know about you, but I am not from here. I wasn't born in Gardia. I am from the western continent Jeshil and there are monsters there too.

"Since the beginning of Jeshil, people have had to deal with monsters and they don't need forts like people have here.

"They don't have large groups looking for monsters to hunt. The kingdoms don't sponsor the idea of total monster annihilation.

"Still the people stand and live.

"Yes they do protect their lands and city. If monsters become a problem, they will be killed. Yes there are people who hunt monsters for glory and gold, but at the end of the day they return home.

"They don't spend their lives killing."

"So what are you suggesting?" Etaru asks, "That we give up and let the monsters win? To let our country burn?"

"I am not suggesting anything. All I am saying is that this problem has been dealt with before. There is no need for forts, but at the end of the day I don't care. All of this drama at least gives me something to do."

I see Etaru dumbfounded at what he just heard. To see someone, who he holds a level of respect for, disregard the struggle of our world. In his eyes, I see his soul shatter. In his eyes I see doubt, and I am not the only one who notices, "I don't know what to say, but I guess I'll have to give you the benefit of the doubt."

I see Rose's soul shatter, like a dagger just stab it in the back.

"Etaru!" Muri reprehend him, "Is this how you want to start things?"

Rose is hurt and it clearly shows. She stands up, disbelieve spreading across her face.

I assume the sudden movement triggers Etaru, and in a moment of lack of judgment, he lays his hand on his sword.

Muri instantly pulls his hand away from his blade, and Etaru notices his mistake. He stands up, "Rose I am sorry, it was only a reflex."

His apology made things worse.

Rose stands back, eyes watering down. She grabs her cheese wheel and walks away.

Everything happened so fast, I barely processed anything. I stood there frozen in silence and chock. A moment meant to relax, has crumbled into ruins. The peace I had been waiting for all year, is gone as quick as it came.