Hey!

It's here, it's the day. Chapter 4, yay!!! I'm actually so excited for this chapter because i feel like It's well written. Please tell me what you think!

Tw: mental illness, mentions of death, discussion of suicidal thoughts. If those things trigger you please don't read the following chapter.

If any of you are experiencing similar things please get help or reach out to someone close to you. I'm always here to talk if you need It too!

I strongly recommend getting professional help if it's in your possibilities.

Word count: 1.6k

Cold. It's cold.

Freezing even. There's no other way to put it. I rub my shoulders and close my eyes tightly. The cold climbs up and down my spine, unease settling all over me as I start to shiver uncontrollably.

My face starts itching, burning in that way that only ice can cause. I move my hands up to my cheeks and feel tear tracks running down them, slowly freezing against my red face.

My teeth start to chatter and a sob climbs out of my throat. The unease grows into distress, but I don't know why. My legs buckle, and I feel my knees hit the hard ground.

I hear a scream sound from between the freezing trees surrounding me.

Pain. It's pain.

Agony even. There's no other way to put it. I snap my head towards the source of the scream.

Black hair. Blue eyes.

No. Not her. Not again. I want to go, to stop her screaming, her screeches of agony, but I can't. I can't move. I can only sob. Powerless.

"Help," her voice peaks as her face morphs into the last person I want to see in this state.

Her ebony waves curl up and shift into a rich auburn, formerly almond eyes widening and flawless skin staining with golden freckles.

Travis.

Travis is screaming in front of me, and I can't move. I can't go to him. I can't help him. I can't do it. I can't do anything.

I try to speak, to tell him I'm here, that I love him, that we'll get out of here, but I can't.

I put a hand up to my lips, and I can almost see them turning blue. They're frozen.

Numb. It's numb.

I can't feel anything. There's no other way to put It. My body leans against the floor. I lose my balance and fall, hair spreading out, shards of glass shining between my loose curls.

My eyes are closing. The screams are getting louder. I can't breathe. I can feel my blood flowing differently. My heartbeat slowing.

I blink.

Grover.

I can't move. Everything stops. I'm not processing. I've stopped breathing. The air is escaping my lungs. My tears are freezing, covering my body. My eyes are closing.

Miranda. Miranda is screaming, pleading.

I want to help, I really do. But I can't. I can't do anything. I should just sit here and die.

Death. It's Death.

It's calling me. There's no other way to put it. I close my eyes and give in. It should've been me anyway.

Cold. It's cold.

I wake up, a lump forming in my throat and tears stinging in my eyes. I can't breathe. My stomach is churning and I feel a wave of nausea climb up my throat.

I grip my blanket tighter, not finding the energy to get up, and try to push my anxiety away. It was just a dream. Just a dream.

I'm safe. I'm in my cabin.

I squeeze my eyes shut and curl into a ball. If everything's all right, then why am I crying?

I sob into my pillow, as silently as I can, my hands still gripping my blanket, and my knees pressing against my abdomen until I finally pass out from exhaustion.

The next morning, my whole body's sore and stiff. Glancing at my plant-themed calender, I nearly crawl back under my blankets. Today is Silena's death anniversary.

I sigh. What a great thought to begin the day with.

At least we'll all be together for a while. The eight of us. Honoring her memory. Travis, Connor, and Annabeth always pull amazing pranks too.

I stretch, and walk out of my cabin, knowing that the today's prank will probably be in the Big House or even the Aphrodite cabin.

They always make sure it would be something she'd wanted; they used to love pranking people together.

I head to the dining pavilion, and am surprised to find it empty. Miranda should have brought the rest of the cabin here already since I slept in, and the rest of the campers should be here too.

I look around and see a huge sheet hanging from the wall.

Taste the rainbow, become the rainbow.

Oh Gods.

I hear a scream sound from the Aphrodite cabin, and then another, and another, and another. Soon, the whole camp is screeching, and I feel the beginnings of a smile tugging at my lips. They really did it this time.

Every table starts to fill with rainbow colored campers. Everything from their hair to their toes can only be described as rainbow, but what catches my eye is the Aphrodite cabin.

Drew Tanaka has silver glitter in her hair. And I don't mean a little glitter sparkling in her dark locks, I mean you can barely see her actual hair. She looks like a disco ball.

I gasp, and she must have heard, because she turns around and I see her face. I nearly choke on my water. Not only is she rainbow colored and her hair is full of glitter, but "I badmouthed the girl that saved my sorry ass" is written across her face in Annabeth's near-perfect penmanship. I try not to laugh, I really do, but I fail to contain my amusement.

I hear Annabeth laughing from the Poseidon table, and I find her bickering with Percy, per usual.

"What do you mean you don't care if I'm your boyfriend?"

"I mean that just because you're my boyfriend It doesn't mean you're not rainbow. Even Nico is rainbow colored!"

From the Hades table, Nico groans at Will's incessant laughter.

"Yeah but Will isn't! He's not your boyfriend."

I see Annabeth smirk, and feel my own smile grow, "Will was in the group, sorry Seaweed Brain," she says and kisses her boyfriend's cheek as Percy pouts.

Chiron and Mr.D choose this moment to walk in.

The whole camp goes quiet at once, trying to control their laughter. Chiron simply nods, like every inch of him, including his beard isn't dyed rainbow.

Mr.D turns to us and glares.

"All of you little skittles better get back to breakfast before I turn you all into m-and-m's."

We all turn almost instantly, but most of us don't even try to contain our laughs.

After spending the morning with Clarisse, Grover, and Annabeth, talking about our memories of Silena, laughing at the bad stories she used to tell, or just plain crying, I decide to find Travis.

He's in the meadow we used to go to when we were little to hide from dish duty.

"Hey, Kates. What's up?"

He uses that tone that he always does, the one that makes me want to break down and tell him everything that's ever been wrong, the one that makes me want to cry and let It all out, because I know he'll always listen.

So I do.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong, Katie?"

I shake my head starting to cry. It should've been me, not her. I'm not as important as she was, not as fierce or beautiful or strong. The world would have gotten over me soon enough, but not her. Nobody will ever get completely over her.

"I should have done something," I whisper, my voice cracking, "I should have noticed. She always knew when something was wrong, but I didn't. I wish I was more like her. I wish she was still here."

Realization dawns Travis's eyes and he pulls me into a hug. I melt into him, craving the comfort.

"It wasn't your fault, Katie. None of us noticed. It's nobody's fault, okay?" I only sob harder, barely hearing his tired sigh. This happens every year.

"Katie, it's not your fault, and it most definitely should not have been you. We would miss you every bit as much as we miss her, so please stop thinking that you aren't worth it."

I nod. Maybe he's right. I grip his shirt tighter, letting myself be soothed by his familiar touch.

Suddenly, I feel his body shaking slightly under me, and I pull back, scanning his face, only to find it just as tear traced as my own.

I cup his face in my hands and force our watery gazes to meet.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"It's fine," he shakes his head, "I shouldn't make this about me," he says, offering me a broken smile.

"No. What's wrong?"

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, "It's just that... Am I really that useless?"

I blink, perplexed, "What?"

"I can't even make my girlfriend feel cared for. What's wrong with me? I can't do anything."

Standing here, shoulders slumping, looking defeated and pathetic, a shell of the Travis I know, I feel my heart shatter for him.

"That's not true," I assure him.

"It is," he chuckles bitterly.

"It isn't!" I exclaim, starting to lose my composure.

"It is! I should just be dead! I'm useless! A waste of space!"

"How could you say that?!" I scream, "You shouldn't! Of course you shouldn't! You should be here, and you should be alive!"

"But why?!" he screams back, stubborn as ever, "Who even cares?! Connor will move on," he adds, avoiding my gaze.

"I care! I need you!" I yell, losing what was left of my composure. "I care, because I love you!" I sob.

"You..you what?"

"You heard me," I respond, avoiding his gaze.

Suddenly, our voices drop to cracked whispers again. Travis closes the distance between us and wraps his arms around my waist.

"I love you, too."

And right then and there, holding each other, I think that maybe, just maybe, we'll be okay in the end.