Reviewer: -butterfliesarise-

Review: Trapped in a Tale

Client: Royalpurple123

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Cover and Blurb: The cover is pretty good, but I feel like it can be improved. The yellow font kind of blends in with the background image. Maybe changing the color of the font to white would help. The blurb is awesome. It contains the right amount of information, and doesn't give away the plot of the book. It also showcases the uniqueness of the book's plot, and is definitely a hooking factor. However, I have provided another version of the blurb, so that the author can choose between the one that I wrote, and the one that she/he/they wrote him/her/themself/selves.

My version of the blurb:

She sets out on an adventure, dragging her childhood best friend, Jamey Hoods, along with her, all the while running from a criminal organization trying to kidnap her for ransom.

But it's evident that there's more to the entire operation than what meets the eye. Secrets that many are hiding. One's that could change her whole life, and the way that she views her world.

Will she be able explore the world that she doesn't yet know?

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Ending a blurb with a question is a great way to capture a readers attention. The author can choose to keep the blurb that's already being used, or this one.

Grammar: Overall, the grammar was pretty good. However, I did notice a few awkward sentences, and inappropriately used grammar here and there. I have given a few examples below, but unfortunately, I'm not able to cover all of them. I suggest that the author visits an editing shop for the chapters that are already written, and use an editing app such as "Grammarly" to help with the rest of the chapters.

Example 1: We have spies all over our areas. We find a wealthy person, research about them, know absolutely everything, make a plan, kidnap someone close to them they can't imagine losing, threat to kill them, ask for ransom and when we get the money, release the hostage.

What it should be: We have spies all over our areas. We usually find a wealthy person and do a bunch of research on them. When we know absolutely everything about the person, we make a plan, kidnap someone dear to them, threaten to kill them and ask for ransom. We only release the person once we get the money.

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Example 2: She was obviously being ridiculous. The whole thing with the story, couldn't possibly be real.

What it should be: she was obviously being ridiculous. The whole thing with the story... it couldn't possibly be real!

Or

She was obviously being ridiculous. The entire story couldn't possibly be real!

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Example 3: As I went up to the big black metal gate made of intricate patterns of leaves, branches and flowers. I never took a good look at it, makes me nauseous for some reason.

What it should be: As I went up the big, black metal gate, I noticed how it was made of intricate patterns of leaves, branches and flowers. I never took a good look at it before, because for some reason, it made me nauseous.

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Plot: The plot was absolutely phenomenal! It was extremely unique, new and totally fresh. The plot's uniqueness captured my attention, and made me want to read on and on. I really loved the plot's structure. The flow of it was perfect! Nothing seemed too fast, and nothing seemed to be delayed. I also love the fact that some cliché bits are added into the story. They gave me a sense of homeliness, as if I was recognizing an old friend. (Totally weird analogy, but it's true)

The minimal cliché parts spiced up the new, and unique ones even more, and made the plot seem even better than it already was! The idea behind the plot was truly extraordinary, and it takes a really creative mind to think of something like it. So I would really like to commend the author on her/his/their fantastic imagination!

Characterization: The characters were beautifully portrayed. Each one was described so perfectly, I definitely found myself imagining them as real people! The character development was also extraordinary! I could clearly see the development through the chapters, and I really enjoyed reading about their emotions, and the way that things were described! So, a great job on that!

Overall enjoyment: I really enjoyed the book! The plot was extraordinary, the characters were great, and overall, I loved it! If only a little editing takes place, and a new cover to catch the eyes of people is made, I'm sure that this book will be a popular hit!

For the author: I really loved your book! Thank you so much for asking me to review it for you! Once you're done editing, make sure to sign it up for some awards!

-Ria