Reviewer: Mila_333

Review: The Promotion

Client: _xxAMxx

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Blurb

The blurb does contain typo, for instance you wrongly spelled the word crumbling. Please bear in mind that a person secondly reads the blurb after he reads the title. Hence, it is crucial to have a clean blurb, free from any grammatical mistakes as it does leave a bad impression and you wouldn't want that. As far as the content is concerned, I have to say that the blurb only fits the first part of the book, moreover only to some extent. I figured you were not sure if the story would be continued. Hence, a revision is required here. I suggest you add more detail on Alexander since he's the main male protagonist and not Calum.  On the bright side, the blurb can be quite enticing for readers who already love the CEO-PA combo.

Title

The title cannot be any more accurate and I love how it is unique and at the same time attractive enough to lure readers. Moreover, it also totally corresponds to the story which makes it even more perfect.

Cover

The cover is really amazing and very refreshing. It shows the chemistry, visually apparent and it is really attractive to lure readers, especially those who already love the CEO-PA romance. The font size, colour and style of the title are very well written. However, I would suggest creating a more professional Author name. The one in the current cover can definitely pass as a username on Wattpad but it doesn't really appear polished on the cover, especially when the cover exudes such high standard vibes.

Grammar

I have found some grammar issues throughout the book. For instance, there are improper sentence structures at some points. You should also make sure you watch out where you should apply present tense and where you should use past tense, do not mix up with these two. If you have decided to use past tense to narrate the book, stick to that only. Moreover, there was a lack of punctuation marks noted, for example commas were missing at some required places. These are the kind of grammar issues which can be revised and it can be eradicated by proofreading.

I can also advise you to copy paste your work in a Microsoft Word document and you will be able to revise your mistakes easily. I will not classify this issue as one that will prevent me from continuing my reading, so I believe you can definitely polish the work easily.

Writing Style

The writing style was quite good and precise.  It is simple and easy to read. I did feel the writing style turning heavy at some point when darker scenes were happening and it eventually turned lighter when you narrated simple happenings. Most importantly, you were able to provide a voice to the story and the proper emotions were conveyed which is what actually matters. However, I still feel like you could enhance the writing style to a higher level to make readers fall in love with your writing. You definitely have the potential and you can definitely start working on this aspect as soon as you're done with the correction of the grammatical mistakes. I suggest extensive reading, research and practice.

Plot

I will most likely write my review separately, focusing on the two parts of the book.

First of all, I have to say that I enjoyed the second part of the book so much more than the first part. I'm glad I kept reading, hence I will recommend you to remove the section where you stated that the book first ended here and then you decided to make a second part, because I'm sure many people will not stick around. The first part of the book was actually a bit too concentrated on the female protagonist not wanting to leave her boyfriend.  I can understand that this element is very much needed for the development of the plot but what you could have done is that you could have made the beginning chapters a bit longer, maybe combine two chapters into one because I noticed that the first chapters were actually really short which left the book with so many chapters.

I'm only saying this because many people before they even start reading a book, they check the number of chapters and they quit before even starting to read when they see the book has this many chapters.

The reason I like the second part much more is because the plot concentrates more on the relationship of the male and female protagonists while the first part was much concentrated on Calum and how the female protagonist feels about him, even going to the extent of having a wedding with him. I hate to admit but I have to say this, at one point I was really annoyed with the female protagonist and the way she was dealing with things. When it got to the wedding scene, I wanted to pull my hair out.

I overall really liked the description you provided, although I have noted the numerous times you would use the cream colour. That is really not a problem and I kind of understand how obsessed you're with this colour, but diversification is an important element. The fact that it was remarkable you've used the same colour at almost every description made it a repetitive element and I'd avoid that if I were in your place, just to enhance my work by being more creative. I also enjoyed the love triangle you depicted. With all the drama, it was really interesting and entailed a bumpy ride all throughout the book. One thing I had pointed out in the second part of the book was that the scene taking place in court seems a bit rushed and undetailed. I did realise it could have gotten really long, but it felt a bit unnecessary to have this element of uncertainty as to whether or not the protagonists will win the case. It was crystal clear they were gonna win and the suspense you tried to create also felt rushed. I suggest, you either not include this scene at all or you plan it out perfectly along with solid facts and details if you wanted to make it complicated. I stress on writing a bit on how the protagonist's lawyer questioned the accused. Also, I came across one sentence whereby the judge muttered something like "Get to the point immediately." Well, that is a bit unrealistic and I suggest you remove this part since the judge is supposed to be unbiased and professional at all costs.

Coming to the first part of the book, I honestly found it a bit unrealistic how A is treating the female protagonist this good since the very beginning. It was actually fine until they weren't working together, but when the female protagonist joined the PA job, I was hoping for a little bit more professionalism, or perhaps I was presuming there'd be a slow burn. Yes, I get that he's really interested, but having the protagonists interlinking their arms at the dinner party, would be too far-fetched. You could have said he placed his hand on the lower part of her back. My point here is not that of a big deal, it's actually an opinion I had formed when I first started reading the book. I thought maybe the male protagonist would resist a little bit more before he would show how he actually feels. However, you did a great job in keeping the protagonists apart by having Callum in between. I get that this line contradicts the part above where I mentioned Callum's drama was a bit too dragged out which is why I suggested combining the short chapters together to shorten the book. He was an important character, although I got really mad at the female protagonist (I'll talk about this in the Character section). I also found it a bit unrealistic when the female protagonist passed as A's wife, I would personally prefer to insert her as his fiancée.

Character

Character development is crucially required for the female protagonist.  She should really learn from toxic relationships and focus on positivity. She's got to learn to let go of toxic people as they are so unhealthy. I can totally understand that she lacked affection while growing up but it still doesn't justify her reasoning. At some point, I felt like she had some sort of toxicity herself and at the first part of the book, her character was just unimaginable, especially with what she did during the wedding. At that point, I really felt she was toxic too. I really had to take a mini break before I could continue with the read just because of how her character was. I suggest maybe, just maybe, you could make her more vulnerable. Maybe, stress on the description on how she doesn't want to be left alone and how she's afraid of failing, because that sort of understanding really needs to be there to keep your readers intact even though this sort of description to make her really vulnerable doesn't provide justification. I also felt like she lacked professionalism when she drank in the official event she attended. That was a big no!

A's character was sweet and pure, although I wanted him to resist just a bit more before the female's protagonist. On the other hand, I love how Sarah's character suddenly turned out to be controversial when she got linked up with Callum. I certainly didn't imagine that coming when I first began reading the book. She really did contradict herself but I'm glad this part happened as it shows the mere reality of life and some personalities in general. The antagonists were well built and they were great villains, trying to accomplish their roles. They weren't unpredictable with their actions but the drama they created was nice!

Originality and Reader's enjoyment

I wouldn't rate the story as 100% original because it did have a lot of cliché moments, however, remaining enjoyable throughout. I will definitely recommend this book to my readers as soon as the grammatical mistakes are corrected and the polishing is done.