Reviewer: kinalhariya

Review: Blueberry Milkshake

Client: that_blondie_girl_29

🌻

Title and cover:

Interesting choice of title. It is unique and intriguing. From the first glance, all I could think is that the story either evolves around/or the starting phase is through the milkshake.

Cover seems warm and cute. The joined hands, books, the table and the cups; the picture gives out a hint of a love blooming at a café/canteen. However, it would have been better if the picture contained a blueberry milkshake in that cup. Better fonts can be used. Still, a pretty cover.

Blurb:

A very well written blurb. There are absolutely no errors and it is really interesting. A significant amount of information is given, so that we know what we are dealing with, yet a lot is left to imagination; effectively raising our curiosity. I absolutely love the use of cups as the divider. It makes us more invested in the story.

Prologue Or Prologo in this book's case:

A short but cute Prologue. The style used is definitely unique. It was different from any type of prologue, I have ever read. It didn't give away much, yet gave us too much to understand. It showed the development after each passing day in just two-three sentences. It was awesome, just look out for missing full stops.

Moving towards the chapters,

Firstly, I must say that I like the use of sunset and sunrise to differentiate between the past and the present.

Nice start. Her opinion about school is thoroughly set (chuckles). The words the main lead uses to describe the school throughout the first chapter- just awesome.

The introduction between Avery and Reed was cute. Side characters were introduced nicely too. Information about them isn't dumped yet they are still distinguishable.

Love the punch lines/sarcastic thoughts of Avery. And not to mention, her self-praises. It is fun to read them.

Avery's character is pretty much set within the starting chapters. Most of her is relatable and enjoyable while few things did annoy me about her. But that's what makes her feel real.

About the character, James, it seems like he is going to be a male lead. His actions and dialogues give out his personality, without Author having to word it out. I won't say, I really like him. His attitude and behaviour is the exact thing that I thoroughly despise. I am sorry if you weren't going for that personality for him. Looking forward to see if there is some character development in him.

Characters are easily distinguishable but I feel there are many things you can work with to leave a long lasting impression; especially when there are so many of them. Being said that, even if you don't, they are still enjoyable to read.

As much as I like Avery's character, she doesn't seem to grow much between the past and present chapters. Seeing that there is a six years difference between Sunset and Sunrise chapters, I feel that the readers should feel some difference between the both.

The problem with her father is shown nicely...giving bits in a few chapters, letting us run our imagination. It increases the curiosity level and would have much more effect when everything is revealed.

The book moves at a steady pace. Descriptions of the setting are good but can be added more.

As far as I have read, the story more or less revolves around Avery and her liking to the guys. This book is best for the readers who don't want to read something deep.

From the blurb and prologue, I had expected something more from the book. I don't think the character's have that natural relationship. Whatever is shown doesn't connect. Individually they are great, but as the couple/to be couple; they don't seem to have much chemistry. The blurb and prologue had given much more excitement than the real product.

I feel that the concept is cool and fun but it needs a little more polishing.

Grammatical errors

Fluctuating tenses, missing commas and missing full stops. These three mistakes are repeated often throughout the book.

4th chapter

1)The word 'you' is missing in a sentence.

"Oh, are having tennis class?"

2) I had already had mine.

The sentence sounds weird. It can be written as- I already had mine. Or- I had already eaten.

3) "Did you the boy on the stage?

A word is missing from the sentence. It can be written as - Did you see the boy on the stage?

5th chapter

I am not sure, but I feel that there should be space between Inter and Dimensional in the word Interdimensional. Check it out, the term might be correct too.(PS. I loved the terms- Interdimensional Pocket Realm, Bitchy dimension)

8th Chapter

1)"No, I was just taking AJ to...whatever she was going, and then I was going back

Here wherever would suit better than whatever. And instead of going back, I was going to come back, can be written.

2) Wow, AJ, your room is pretty cool, your closet is twice mine! It should be written as- Wow, AJ, your room is pretty cool, your closet is twice as mine.

Suggestion:

Clarify what the abbreviation NAA means. I read it in the first chapter and was confused about it until the second chapter as google showed other meanings of it.

You can write the full name of the school and put the abbreviation in the bracket for the first time. And then use NAA everywhere else.

Writing

Apart from the minute errors, the author has a strong hold of the language. Vocabulary is simple but not boring. It is just easier for every type of reader to read and enjoy.

Writing style is good too. Information is provided at the right places, comebacks are awesome.

Over all,

It is a well written book, except for the negligible mistakes. If a reader is looking for a light read, then this is the book for them.

I had a nice time reading the book. Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!