Editor: LinguisticsAddict
Client: @Flower_Peacesign
Work: Thicker Than Water

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Hi! Your book offered a different spin to the movie Endgame, and I enjoyed editing your book. Here are the key things I edited and noticed as both your reader and your editor that could use improvement.
What first drew my attention was the punctuation concerning your dialogues. In almost all of the dialogues, you include the quotation marks around each sentence, instead of the whole thing. For instance, there would be a lot of this: "I'm fine" "Yes, I mean it" "Leave me alone." she said. When it should be: "I'm fine. Yes I mean it. Leave me alone," she said.

Second point (still concerning your dialogues) was the end punctuation rules. When you have a speaker tag (she said, yelled, cried out, etc.) you need a comma. So: "I win," she said. Instead of: "I win." she said. If you have an action tag on the other hand, then you can use the period. So: "I don't care." She raised her eyebrow.

Third point (again still concerning your dialogues) would be that you'd have either large gaps in the sentences (gaps by entering it into the next line) or that you'd include multiple characters' dialogues in the same line. So: "We need to stop them!" she exclaimed. "No, they're fine!" he answered. In reality, you should have each character's dialogue in their own line.

Fourth point (last one concerning the dialogues!) was that you often had a speaker tag after every dialogue, even when it was established who's talking when. So, I'd be seeing a lot of this:

"That's nice," she said.
"Maybe," he answered.
"No, it really is!" she said firmly.
"If you say so..." he said.

In this case, who's talking when is already clearly established, you don't need to include the speaker tag after every dialogue.
Fifth point is concerning your tenses – the verbs used. Tenses throughout a book or any piece of writing (though there are exceptions, such as character's inner monologue, flashbacks, etc.) need to be uniform. So if you start writing in past tense (she ran, she jumped) you need to stick to past tense. The majority of your book was in past tense, so I edited almost all tense mistakes to match that. The exception was in the character's thoughts (the parts italicized like this) which needs to be in present tense.

Next, and this is the last point concerning grammar and punctuation were mishaps with comma placement and sentence structure. The former isn't usually serious, and for future writing, I recommend maybe reading your writing aloud for the trickier placements of whether or not to use a comma. Sentence structure mistakes were concerning incomplete sentences and in some cases, a lot of use of passive voice, when you should use active voice. Active voice example: She kicked the ball. Passive voice example: The ball was kicked by her.

This point concerns other areas I found that maybe could be improved, but not at an editing level, and more just something I found as a reader. Your book contains a lot of action scenes, but not as many descriptions, or descriptions providing sensory details during said action scenes. For instance, here is one action scene in your book: 'I got ready to use my powers but before I got the chance to do so, one came from behind and blasted me into a nearby bakery. Immediately, I got back up and to my horror, I saw that they had grabbed Vision and were trying to take the Mind Stone from him.' Improving the descriptions as well as the word choice would add to this scene a lot, something that can draw readers in more. This, of course, doesn't only refer to your action scenes – adding sensory descriptions for a majority of scenes is always good. This can be achieved by "showing" the characters' emotions to the readers instead of "telling'' them as well as focusing on two to three of the five senses for a particular scene. What is the character seeing, tasting, smelling, touching, and hearing? In the end, the best way to improve scenes with descriptions is with practice!

Last point, and this is more a tip than anything, is that as someone who watched Endgame, your fanfiction wasn't that much different from the movie. Including Ereni (which is a big change, so don't worry) was almost the only thing that gave readers a spin to the movie. This would be fine, but at the same time, other aspects of your book might be hard for the reader to understand if they haven't watched the movie, and for those who have, the fanfiction doesn't offer that much of a spin from the movie. My point is, it would be great to elaborate on certain elements of your plot while also including new elements.

Overall, I hope you liked my suggestions and pointers, and that my edits were helpful! If you ever have any questions or the like, don't hesitate to reach out!