Client: isseoyo

Editor: LinguisticsAddict

Work (one chapter requested): Miss Stark

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Overall, after reading and editing your one chapter -- the prologue – I'd say, that as a reader, I enjoyed the world and how you changed it from the original Marvel universe. Critique-wise, it would've been great if you employed more detailed descriptions, more tidbits on the character's appearance, personality, etc., and the surrounding characters. Especially details that appeal to the readers' senses -- the sense of smell, taste, touch, etc. (Not all senses at once, obviously, but at least two or three that go well with the scene). Additionally, some parts were very confusing for me, such as that point on Maria being both the daughter's name and the mother's name, but it didn't take much to clarify that or fix it. A lot of times, writers have a point they want to deliver, but don't do so fully, so it can be confusing for the reader -- but that's usually an easy fix, depending.

Technical-writing-wise, and what I noticed as your editor, was that you used nice word choice, and the placement of your commas was mostly on point throughout the chapter. Improvement-wise, or a common error I noticed you'd make, was in your tenses. You were often switching between past participle, past, and present -- and frequently. That's a common error most stories have and is easy to fix with a simple read-through after you've written the chapter (chances are, you'll most probably catch a mistake the second or third time you read through it).

In terms of technical errors, that was pretty much it – your chapter was pretty easy to edit, and since it's only a chapter, I can't really point out any errors that appeared consistently. There were some fragment sentences throughout, and some very short sentences that I patched up a bit, but other than that, it was all great!