May 25, 2020

Arie could feel tears stinging her eyes, biting her lip, she tried to hold back her sobs as she watched Namjoon, Izeul and the others stand with their heads bowed, leaving flowers on Kim Binna's grave.

Unconsciously, she took a step back. What had she thought, that she could come and stand face to face with the woman whose husband she was having an affair with? Whose daughter was she raising, albeit as her own?

That, she could stand up to her, and tell her that only last night, she had agreed to marry her husband? Who was she, to stand before a woman, who had overcome the world and given her life for these men and her daughter?

A pain, sharp and searing, pierced her heart,and her eyes widened in horror, as she watched the man she loved, fall to his knees and head bowed, hugging his daughter tightly as she wiped away his tears.

"I can't...." Ari thought as she continued to back away, clutching the bag tightly to her chest. "I can't marry him..." she shook her head, now staring at the picture of Binna who seemed to be looking at her somewhat mockingly.

"I can't... He still loves her..." Ari whispered, feeling her throat tighten and her lungs begin to struggle for air. "He loves her..." she stumbled, but managed to keep her balance, her head throbbed, cold sweat broke out on her forehead and she began to hyperventilate.

Ari looked around in a panic, her eyes landing on the cars. The burning engines made a growling sound, several guards had surrounded them, and she stumbled towards them.

She almost ran towards the first car, pushing aside the stunned security guard, jumping into the driver's seat. Her foot hit the accelerator and the tires squealed on the gravel road.

Tears streamed down and wet her face, blurring her vision. "Why..." she wailed, letting her own insecurities take over and consume her.

"Ari?" Namjoon jumped at the sound of screeching tires and gaped in shock as his fiancee dusted off somewhere. "Where's Ari going, dad?" he looked at Izeul, shaking his head, then looked back at the road, only the tracks in the gravel and clouds of dust remained of the car.

"What happened?" Yoongi asked, everyone looking at the road, no less confused. "I have no idea..." Namjoon muttered, shoving Izeul into Jungkook's arms and walking towards the rest of the cars, pulling out his phone.

"What did she say, where is she going?" he asked the guards as he dialed Ari. "I don't know sir, the missus didn't say anything, she just pushed me and..." he trailed off uncertainly and Namjoon raised an eyebrow. "And?" he prompted irritably because Ari wasn't responding.

"She didn't look good, sir, she was crying..." the guard finished quietly and Namjoon lowered his eyebrows, trying to get her again. "What, the hell, is wrong with you, baby?" he growled, waiting for the others to reach the cars.

"I'm going after her, you take care of Izeul, Hoseok, track her phone though, I think I know where she's going." Namjoon ordered, leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead. "Hyung, send me Mae's address" Seokjin nodded pulling out his phone.

"Namjoon, why did she dust off like that?" Yoongi raised an eyebrow and Namjoon shook his head. "I don't know, she insisted on coming, she seemed fine in the morning, nervous, but fine..." he sighed, the phone to his ear, hoping she would pick up after all.

Ari stopped the car on the side of the road, placing her hands on the steering wheel, she rested her forehead on them and cried loudly. "Fool! Idiot!" she sobbed heartbreakingly, banging her forehead on the steering wheel. "How could you think you could take her place, that he could love you more than her!" she hit the steering wheel, laying her head back and closing her eyes as she cried her heart out.

Her heart ached, telling her she was wrong, that he really did love her, he had proved it to her a thousand times, in all kinds of ways, but her mind said otherwise. It didn't make sense for a man like him, strong, dominant, at the pinnacle of power, to love a woman like her.

Compared to Binna, she was nothing, a big, huge nothing! Cowardly, pitiful and weak! As much as she loved him, she wasn't for him, she would make him miserable, there would come a time when he would regret his choice.

Arie wouldn't survive seeing that pity in his eyes, she wouldn't be able to survive him looking at her coldly and with hatred, it would kill her....

The only solution, before it got any worse, before she became his wife, before she could bear him children, was for them to separate.

Namjoon might haven't realized it yet, but he would sooner or later. So she was the one to make the decision, even if he hated her for it.

"I'm sorry, my love, I'm so sorry," Arie whispered through her sobs. "I love you, Namjoon, I really do, I'm doing it for you..." she tried to convince herself, giving the car away again.

"Damn it!" Namjoon roared, slamming the steering wheel. "What do you think you're doing, baby!" he growled, looking around, hoping she had stopped somewhere after all.

His phone rang and he picked it up. "I'm listening" he replied and waited as Hoseok informed him that Ari was driving in the direction of Mae's apartment, just like Namjoon thought.

"Send security, have them watch the apartment, but don't come near her, I don't know what's wrong with her, but I don't want them to scare her" he cut the call and increased his speed, clenching his teeth.

"Why honey, what's the matter with you all of a sudden?" Namjoon thought, trying to focus on the road. "God, I hope she's okay, just okay!" he pleaded, worried that something might happen to her before she made it to Mae's apartment.

Almost an hour later, he knocked on Mae's door. Ari's car was parked in front of the building, at least she's safe, he reassured himself, waiting for someone to open the door for him.

"Who is it?" Mae's soft voice came from the other side of the door. "Kim Namjoon" he answered impatiently and the door opened. Mae turned around, glancing back anxiously, and closed the door behind her, leaving the two of them in the hallway.

"I want to talk to her, Mae" Namjoon reached to push her away, but Mae shook her head, grabbing his hand. "She's not okay, Namjoon, not at all" Mae whispered and Namjoon lowered his eyebrows.

"I don't know exactly what happened, she tried to explain to me, but she was hysterical when she came." Mae shook her head and Namjoon sighed, running a hand over his face.

"What exactly did she tell you?" Namjoon sighed and stared at the door, wanting to break it down, to hug Ari, to reassure her, to reassure her that no matter what, he could protect her, take care of her.

"From what I understand, she couldn't tell her that she was taking away her husband and her daughter, that she would never be good enough for you, that you still loved your wife and that she didn't want you to hate her. The other thing was basically wailing cry." Mae tried to tell him exactly what she understood.

"What? That's not true! I love Ari!" Namjoon insisted and Mae looked at him regretfully. "I know, Namjoon, she knows it too, but after Hwan..." Mae shook her head and Namjoon growled angrily. "That base bastard, if I could..." he trailed off before letting out that Hwan was long gone.

"Look, she's extremely unstable right now, besides, she fell asleep." Mae took his hand reassuringly. "Give her time, you won her once, do it again!" Namjoon closed his eyes and lowered his head. "Why, Mae, why would she think she's not good enough, that I don't love her?" Namjoon asked, feeling a lump in his throat, knowing the answer he was about to hear.

"How would you feel if all your life you were alone, you struggled, and in the end you ended up in the arms of a person, who told you for years that you were nothing without him, that you didn't deserve the little love you got ?" Mae smiled sadly. "Hwan didn't just hurt her physically, he shattered her psyche, leaving wounds so big and bleeding, so many insecurities and doubts, that even a lifetime might not be enough to heal" she leaned against the door and sighed deeply.

"Damn it!" Namjoon growled. "I can't live without her, Mae!" he hissed and she smiled. "Heal her then, Namjoon, it will be hard and slow but she is a woman worth winning" he nodded and his body limply relaxed, his shoulders slumped forward and she hugged him.

"I'll help you" Mae assured him and Namjoon nodded, still looking at the floor desperately. "Can I come back tomorrow just to see her?" Namjoon asked quietly and Mae shrugged. "Let's talk on the phone, I'll call Seokjin and we'll talk when she wakes up and I find out how bad it really is, okay?" he nodded slightly.

"Take care of her, Mae, she's my whole world!" Namjoon whispered and hugged her. "I'm leaving security for you, I've warned them to stay away from you, just in case, call me if there's anything, if she's not well, whatever, I want her to know that I love her and that I'll be waiting for her" Mae nodded smilingly.

"She loves you, Namjoon, you have no idea how much" he smiled slightly. "I know, I just wish she trusted me more" Namjoon replied and looked at her, sighing.

"Not to you, Namjoon, she doesn't trust herself" Mae shook her head placing her hands on his shoulders. "Ari is madly, painfully, hopelessly in love with you, Namjoon, she's just being ruled by her own fears right now and not listening to her heart." Mae tried to explain and Namjoon nodded again.

"I know" Namjoon replied simply and hugged her again. "Call me when Ari wakes up, okay? I want to know how she is and if she needs anything?" Mae nodded, assuring him that she would take care of his beloved.