I missed you.

♡

P r e s e n t T i m e

Woo Geurim gazed out of the van window, watching the nighttime scenery zoom by and her fingers running through her currently colored navy hair. Ivory had just finished a schedule for the day and are on their way back to the dorms to get their must needed rest before another hectic day. Now, she can truly understand. An idol life really isn't an easy one... but yet, such a thrilling one. She had to count her blessings to be able to stand where she is today. She knew from the moment Woohee-unnie had shown them their most recent title track for the first time, Bad Boy, it would be a hit.

But she didn't realize it would bring so much attention.

The moment Bad Boy was released, along with their first ever mini album; it took Korea by storm with their dark girl crush concept. They were high on demand ever since then. Ivory then made a name for themselves for being those rookie monsters, a group that could do it all, equipped with sharp dances, honey-like vocals, and explosive rapping. By the end of the year, they even won Rookie of the Year awards. A feat that the members of Ivory couldn't grasp, as 2018 had showcased so many amazing rookie groups.

Ivory was dubbed a girl group that should be anticipated by all of Korea.

And from there, the girl group had been scheduled to be a part of hundreds of different activities and events. Geurim still tears up whenever she remembered the first time they had their first music show win. She wished she could replay that day over and over. And it was that day she actually seen her old friends face to face after such a long time. It had been months.

Ugh.

Na Jaemin...

The moment their eyes had met when on that stage... Geurim was overwhelmed with a lot of feelings. All she wanted to do was break the formation they were in on that stage and run over to him, engulf him in the biggest hug, because wow, they made it. However, after their win, and after they were able to thank their fans and the show came to a close, their managers were already ushering them out of the building.

That was the last time Geurim was able to see Jaemin and the rest of the Dream boys. And now even more months have passed. If she were lucky enough, she would be able to run into NCT at the end-of-the-year grand performances and award shows. But those were more fleeting moments. Something always seemed to separate Geurim to her friends. May it be seats that were too far from each other, their timing could be off by a few minutes, and more exactly like that. It was like as if the fates were playing this cruel game with her.

"Now that you've gotten your wish to debut, I need to take something away from you."

And now that Geurim debuted, Tangerine had a rule to supervise each of the girls' phones. Messaging each other only became harder, and she can no longer call Jaemin unless it was through the company number. She knew this was meant to prevent any unnecessary rumors and such, but it royally sucked. The only way to keep in contact with her best friend was now taken away too.

Well, it was for her dream and his, after all.

"Alright, ladies, let me run through tomorrows schedule before we get home, okay?" Ivory's manager, Pyoshin, chimed in from the passenger's seat. He looked over at the driver, who happened to be their second manager, Sadie. "Tomorrow, Sadie-sshi, you're going to accompany Cherry to her webdrama filming at 9 am, right?"

"Sounds right, Pyoshin-sshi," The woman chimed with a nod. "Next."

"While Cherry is doing her filming, you can then go and pick up Q and bring her to SBS for her dance show around noon. While that is happening, Jina and Woohee will still be around in the company helping with the process of the upcoming full album and then..." Pyoshin turned his body so he can fully face Geurim. "Then, Selene have to go to a meeting for her next individual project."

Geurim heard all her members ooh in interest, earning her face to flush a deep red.

All of the members of Ivory have had a good amount of attention put on them from their debut and comeback, however, everyone would agree that Geurim was the one that had gained the most attention from both releases. It was something everyone had lowkey expected, as she was an ex-trainee of SM Entertainment, and had quite the following. Plus, an individual-Geurim fancam from one performance of Bad Boy had taken people, fans and non-fans alike, by bewilderment. The way she moved to the song, her facial expressions, and her visuals... it was an attack from all fronts.

Geurim was then offered the most individual activities during their Bad Boy promotions.

However, she had turned down most of them unless it included her members. She didn't feel right with accepting the solo schedules when her members had also worked so hard for that comeback.

It brought quite a dilemma within the company. As a rookie group, they should snatch up every chance they were given. This even lead the girl group to have a talk with their CEO about it, since everyone else claimed that Geurim needs to go to these schedules for the sake of the group's success. But, CEO Kim Aeyoung had, surprisingly, sided with the girl group on this, and let them go with as they please. She noted that it wouldn't be good to shove Geurim into activities that she wouldn't feel comfortable in. That could damage the girl group's image too.

From that, they did lose some ideal opportunities. Although, in other times, when Geurim succeeded in bringing at least one other member, it had worked out amazingly. Not only did Geurim shined with her little experience of variety, Jina, Woohee, Q, and Cherry were able to have their chances to show themselves too, and capture people's hearts.

Now that time had passed, her members were finally given chances on their own individual schedule, as well as full group ones. And the five of them worked hard in whichever project they were put in.

It had been quite a while since Geurim accepted an individual project.

"What is this about?" Geurim asked, her fingers twiddling on her lap in anticipation.

"This is something you'll for sure like a lot!" Pyoshin began. "Would you like to participate in an SMStation?"

Geurim blinked in surprise. SM?

Wow, it has been a while since I've heard about them, huh.

"SMStation? As in like, SM Entertainment?" Gowon interjected next to her, her thick brows raised.

"The one and only, Q," Pyoshin replied. "We came in contact with people at SM just a couple days ago and since you used to train there, they thought it would be a fun idea for you to participate in a song with them. It would be a great gift to your fans who have supported and known you since your days there. I nearly forgot that we have a meeting at SM to talk more about tomorrow if you agree to it, Selene."

"This would be great for the public," Sadie piped up, giving her a quick glance through the mirror. "This is SM we are talking about! And hopefully, the attention from there would bring in a lot fans before your first anniversary."

Then everyone had their focus on Geurim. The girls, mostly Gowon, knew her feelings about her old company. There were a lot of happy and regretful memories from SM Entertainment, but she had left them on a good note. For her to work alongside the company again as a debuted artist, surely Geurim felt weird about it.

"Selene, this too good to pass up and its not like we can give it to anyone else. You have a history with them, so it would make sense for it to be you," Pyoshin pressed on. "We don't have much information on it but they are willing to get more in detail once we have the meeting with them tomorrow. We just need to know if you're willing to do it."

Geurim hummed. She would be crazy to not take the offer, wouldn't it? However, there was hesitation obvious in her face alone. She wasn't sure why she couldn't just agree to it already, it wasn't like she had any bad blood with the company. Finally, she replied, "I guess so."

The rest of their car ride had been short, they made it home in no time after their talk. The managers escorted the girls into the building and to their dorm room to rest. Once inside, the managers left the girls to their own devices. Exhausted, the Ivory girls cleaned up and prepared to go to bed. Geurim entered the bedroom she shared with Gowon after her much needed shower and sat down on her bed. Now she had the time to think about things.

Gowon strolled in not too long after.

"Rimy, what's up?" Gowon chimed as she sat on her own bed across from hers, while towel drying her currently orange hair. "Your face tells me you're in deep thought. Is it about the SMStation?" Geurim didn't get the chance to say anything before her friend nodded her head along. "You got nothing to worry about. Just practice and sing like you usually do."

Geurim let out a sigh. "I really am overthinking this, aren't I? They wouldn't hold any bad feelings because its me, right?"

At that, Gowon rapidly threw her pillow over at her, successfully smacking her in the face. "That is ridiculous! They wanted you to participate. If they did, they could've picked any other of us." Gowon continued to ruffle her hair into her towel. "Although, while you're there, can you ask if they are interested in collaborating having me collaborate with Mark? Just a thought, eh?"

Geurim chuckled at this. "Even after all this time, you still crushing on him?"

Pursed lips, Gowon shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, hey. I am over it, my dude. He's still an oppa I respect and admire, those puppy-dog feelings have some and gone. I'm just waiting for the day I get the chance to go full on rap battle with him." Gowon peered at Geurim, a softer look in her eyes. "Anyway, its not like we had such a strong bond. He was just a school mate... not like you and—" The moment Geurim's expression changed, Gowon bit down on her lip. "Sorry. I know you miss him a lot. It really had been hard, I barely see any of the boys around in school... and we're about to graduate too."

Geurim grabbed onto the pillow that Gowon had chucked at her and wrapped her arms around it. "You know... I remembered a day... it was around the time I first trained at SM, Jaemin and I are were in a practice room. We told each other that we would have our first drink together when we become of age..."

"Aish, is that why you refused to drink with me the last time?" Gowon huffed, her brows knitted together in agitation.

"Maybe, I still hoped we can do it. But, it doesn't seem like that would happen, huh?" Geurim murmured. "Sorry, Wonie, I promise the next time we get the chance, we can go out and drink together!"

"Whatever, save it for as long as you can, you loser," Gowon laughed. "Who knows, maybe you still can, if Jaemin didn't forget about it." The comment was like a prick to her heart. It was such a minuscule thing to remember... Geurim wouldn't be surprised if Jaemin did forget about it. "I should go to sleep. I'm going to wake up early so I can practice my routine for the show. What about you?"

"I'll sleep in a bit, go ahead."

Gowon nodded and let herself snuggle into her covers and fall asleep. Geurim knew her friend was knocked out when she heard her soft snores. Her gaze drifted over to the window, which had a perfect view of the night sky. She couldn't help but remember her times she was with Jaemin.

"You look really pretty whenever you admire the night sky."

Geurim never forgot those words. It still twisted her insides every time she thought of it.

Dang... She missed Jaemin.

She really hoped that Jaemin missed her just as much.

. . .

The following day, Geurim was at SM Entertainment for the first time in a long time. Pyoshin lead the way to wherever the meeting room was, as Geurim was surrounded with a few of the Tangerine staff. She let herself take a look around the company. It... was still the same since the last time she was here, just a couple differences here and there. But, if you had let the girl roam around on her own, she would figure out where things are easily. Without even realizing, she was already murmuring where certain things were to the staff members. The cafeteria, the receptionist, the practice rooms she used to train in...

They reached up to the fourth floor of the building. Walking farther down the hallway, to the right, they finally seemed to have reached their destination. Some staff members quickly fixed Geurim's hair and makeup if needed before they entered the room altogether. With a straightened back and her chin held high, she walked into the room as an idol she present herself. She wanted to look respectful to the people she will soon be working with, and not have them think she didn't want to be here. That was quite the opposite.

However, the proper statute she was trying to go for have crumbled when a familiar face appeared before her at one of the seats.

"Jiwoo-unnie!" Geurim burst through her group and embraced the older girl into a tight hug. Jiwoo had hugged her back just as strong and ruffled her hair when they pulled away from each other. "It's so good to see you after so so long!"

"To you too, Geurim," Jiwoo chimed with the warmest grin. "Which may be why I helped make this project a go."

"Really? You?"

The older gave a nod. "You're looking at the one that made the song you're going to be singing."

"Really?!" Geurim gaped in surprise. "Oh my goodness, unnie... That's amazing! This is some kind of promotion!"

A small giggle left Jiwoo's lips. "I guess I should've let you know that I wasn't just NCT's intern manager when you first met me. But, that's a story meant to be told later. We got a meeting to start." Jiwoo went ahead and sat down at the table before her. She grabbed the set of paper and handed it to Geurim. It appeared to be music sheets. "So, you're going to be singing a duet for this SMStation." Jiwoo peered down at the watch on her wrist with a hum to her lips. "Your partner should be here soon—Well, speak of the devil!"

The sound of the door opening caught Geurim's attention and the moment she peered over, her breath hitched in her throat. Instantly, she was already swayed nearly to tears at the sight of the boy before her. She didn't care that her manager and her people were watching, this was something she had to do. She sprinted over to him and attacked him into a hug, much more tight and warm than to Jiwoo.

"Jaemin... god, I missed you."

"I missed you too, Geurim..." She felt his arms wrap around her body, holding her close into his chest. It was so familiar, this feeling. The lass was trying her hardest not to break down in that moment.

When they pulled away from each other, Jaemin held that gorgeous smile on his face. Goodness... Geurim knew Jaemin grew quite a bit in the past year or so, but dang, to really look at him in the flesh, she can really take in how much more handsome he gotten. The way he had grown taller, his baby fat was near to gone... It was making her heart weak and her knees wobbly.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't chat with you as much nowadays," Geurim murmured with a slight frown.

"It's okay. We're both busy, I understand," Jaemin beamed at her.

"S-So wait." Geurim looked over at Jiwoo, who held a very entertained expression. She met Jaemin's eyes again. "Are we the one's singing in this SMStation?" The boy's smile didn't falter, which could only confirm her question. "Seriously!"

"Seriously," Jiwoo replied from behind. "I personally talked to Lee Sooman about letting you have my song, then we decided it would be nice if we had it be a duet. What not better way than to sing it with someone you're close with? Anyway, when I made the song, I couldn't help but think of you two's friendship."

"When noona told me about it, I couldn't believe my ears either," Jaemin chided with a chuckle. "To be able to have our own song together... to perform together!"

Some of SM staff members ushered everyone to sit down so they can officially start their meeting for the SMStation song. It appears that the song was meant to bring nostalgia for the fans of SMRookies and of the days of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. They continued to explain how they were planning to record a couple interviews about how both Jaemin and Geurim had known each other and trained together through the years. It was already known how the two used to be junior high schoolmates that were accepted into SM around the same time, a few fans already knew of their friendship, but this little project was to help know in more detail. It was said that the project was meant to bring sweet memories and warm feelings, and that itself would help with the song's success.

Geurim admired the project more and more she heard about it.

While there was an amazing message with the project, it also meant she would be able to see Jaemin for a couple weeks. That was better than nothing.

The meeting concluded with everyone exchanging both of the teens' future schedule. They were told they will meet up again in a couple more days at Tangerine Entertainment's building next, so to discuss more in detail about their song and the music video. Geurim already couldn't wait for that day to come.

Just as everyone began to file out of the meeting room, Jaemin was the one to ask if he and Geurim could have a couple more minutes to catch up. They did get some concerned glances from all the adults. However, give it to Jiwoo to interject and save them.

"Oh come on, a couple minutes won't hurt, will it?" The young producer asked the people both from Tangerine and SM. "They're actual friends and schoolmates that haven't been able to have a proper conversation."

Pyoshin let out a sigh, but ultimately, he agreed. "Well, we don't have anything for an hour, but I request you try to be quick, Geurim. Alright?"

The brunette lass beamed brightly. "Of course!"

"We'll meet you back at the first floor. Try to be back down in forty minutes."

With that, all the staff members from both companies let the two teenagers have their peace. Jiwoo gave the two a wink, before turning her back and walking away too. However, she did pause, turned her heel back around, her lips apart as if she had something more to say. She then pursed her lips. "Nevermind, you kids have your nice chat, okay? Geurim, I'll see you next time!"

Jiwoo then disappeared as she turned the corner of the hallway.

With that, Geurim and Jaemin were able to sit down at a bench that was close by.

Without expecting it, Jaemin's hand reached her hair, his fingers through the colorful waves. Geurim froze at the touch. This still made her heart go into a frenzy... and yet she missed it.

"I can't believe you actually have colored hair now. I'm so used to your dark hair," Jaemin uttered under his breath, his eyes glued to the blue locks.

"Well, imagine my surprise when I saw you with the pink hair," Geurim responded. "I gotta say, I really did like it."

"You did?" His hand ran over his currently brown hair. "Maybe, I can ask if I can have it again. Any other color you think would look good on me?"

Without hesitation, "Silver!"

"Then I'll ask my manager and stylist-noona if I can get silver hair for the next comeback."

Geurim giggled. "You don't have to."

"But maybe I want to!"

The two kids laughed. The memory of her conversation with Gowon from last night came to Geurim's mind. A small huff left her lips before she asked him, "Can you believe we're both adults now, Jaemin?"

"No, not really. It hasn't kicked in yet," the boy answered. "You?"

"Not at all... Do you remember..." Geurim felt embarrassed. Knowing the boys, she would have expected them to drink alcohol already. That would be the first thing to do for the new year, wasn't it? "How we said that we would drink together for the first time? Wasn't that silly?"

Jaemin pursed his lips. "Well, I haven't yet."

Upon hearing his words, Geurim's eyes widened. "You haven't?"

"No... and since Hyuck has been home because of his injury, Jeno, Renjun, and I haven't really done so," Jaemin replied. "Also, I did remember our promise. If we ever get the chance to, the boys would love it if we take our first drink together... and with Gowon too!"

"I really hope so, too."

A silence fell over them. A comfortable one, where they could simply enjoy each other's presence. Geurim loved it. She loved these simple moments with Jaemin.

It was then she felt a warmth envelop over her hand. She peered over at the boy in bewilderment. "Jaemin—"

"Didn't we used to do this a lot before?" Jaemin quipped, a smirk to his face.

"Yeah, but... it's different now!"

"No ones here anyway."

Geurim frantically glimpsed up and down the hallway, and thankfully he was right. There was no one in sight. She slightly calmed down, but she was still on alert. "Jeez, you're seriously asking for trouble over something people would mistake it as."

Their eyes suddenly meet.

"Geurim-ah..." The girl raised her brows when her name softly left his lips. It sent shivers down her spine. "Have you ever thought about how much we've grown up together? A lot happened in the years we've known each other."

"Oh yeah... way too much."

"Well, and... we always say we are each other's best friends," Jaemin continued. "Besides the boys and Gowon, of course."

"That's true." Geurim tilted her head, her eyes narrowed. "Jaemin, you're leading up to something and you're making me nervous."

"What I'm trying to say is that..." There was reluctance etched on his face as he gazed at her. Geurim noticed his rose tinted cheeks. "I wish that maybe we could've tried to be more."

Breathless. Geurim was breathless.

More, he said.

"I've liked you, Geurim. I have always liked you... And I still like you."

A/n: Epilogue next! 😊