iv. lately I've been crying like a tall child

Right before sundown, everyone was gathered around the entrance of the maze. They stood with large wooden poles in hand, ready to defend themselves if needed. Alby, Newt, Frypan, Gally, Winston, and Zart stood at the opening of the makeshift circle the boys had created.

All of them watched as Minho brought Ben toward them, his face devoid of any emotion. Ben's hands were tied behind his head, and he looked worse than he had after coming out of the woods. His body was covered in bruises, his face bloody. The virus was spreading at a dangerous rate, and it was apparent that the boy wasn't going to be able to stay there any longer.

Ben panted as Minho led him forward. "Just listen to me. Just, please, listen to me! Please, Minho!" Ben begged, although the growling sound that escaped him was anything but human.

As Minho pushed Ben into the center of the circle, he cast a glance at their leader. "Alby!" Ben yelled.

Alby's expression morphed into one of pity, but he knew what he needed to do, not just for himself but for the good of everyone. Being a leader was hard, and he knew that, but he didn't have any other choice.

Minho set Ben onto the ground, right in front of the maze entrance. The infected boy continued releasing animalistic growls, and the others found it hard to watch as one of their own, their friend, their brother, turned into a monster.

Minho grabbed a knife from his harness, using it to cut Ben's binds. The boy wheeled as his binds broke, falling onto his hands and knees.

Behind the circle, Thomas came running towards them. He was on the outskirts, standing next to Chuck with wide eyes at the scene before him. The twelve year old at his side felt nauseated at what would happen.

On the ground, Ben began sobbing, coughing up blood halfway through. He dug his fingers into the dirt beneath him, as if he was going to fall down the edge of the world and that was the only thing keeping him grounded. He coughed again as Minho walked out from behind him, coming to a stop directly in his line of vision.

Ben's eyes began watering, the tears threatening to spill. He wanted to scream, to cry, to throw up, just do anything for them to stop. He just wanted it all to end. Shaking his head vigorously, he begged, "No, please. Please, don't. Please, don't do it."

Minho looked at Alby, who nodded solemnly. A part of the runner wanted to stop all of it, to just magically cure Ben, but he knew that wouldn't happen. He felt Ben's sobs tug at his heartstrings, but he forced his face clear of emotion. He grabbed a small makeshift bag, which belonged to Ben, throwing it into the maze.

Ben remained on the ground, screaming and begging them to stop through his sobs. The gears on the maze entrance began turning, and he wished he had enough strength to get up and run away. The doors rumbled, signaling that they were about to close.

Behind the circle, Thomas took a hesitant step forward, mind racing. His heartbeat picked up as he watched the sobbing boy. He felt horrible, like he was sick. The bile in his throat rose, and he forced himself to keep it down.

Some part of him knew what was going to happen, but he didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that these teenage boys would do that to one of their own. Eyes roaming over the circle, he wondered where Cassie was. He hadn't seen her since she'd watched him up, and he wondered why.

The wind came from inside the maze's tunnel, signaling that the doors were about to close. Ben was pushed back by the force of it, and he whimpered, shaking his head in denial.

Then, Alby's yell came, no matter how much it pained him to say it. "Poles!"

He, and the other boys all turned their poles towards Ben, pointing them at him. Ben scrambled up, and outside the circle, Chuck turned around. He couldn't watch any longer. He wouldn't. Thomas didn't even notice his absence. His gaze was transfixed.

Ben growled, his features seeming less humane. He clumsily got to his feet, stumbling around the inside of the circle like a newly born calf.

"Move in!" Alby ordered, and everyone began closing in on Ben.

He stumbled backward, almost falling over his feet as he begged, "No, no, no! Please! No, please! Please, don't!"

Holding his hands out as to stop them, he felt like crying again as they closed in. The tears streamed down his face as his hoarse cries filled the air. "I can get better! Please, just listen to me! Please, stop, please!"

Alby let out another yell. "Push him in!"

Ben was forced into the vast entrance, despite all his begging and sobbing for them to stop. God, Thomas could feel his fear and helplessness from where he stood. None of the boys wanted to be standing there, doing that, but they had no other choice.

"I'll get better!" Ben begged as they kept pushing him.

Soon, he was inside, and his pleading wasn't going to work. He knew that, they all knew it, and the gut wrenching screams that escaped him tore through their bones. He tried to get back into the Glade, but the doors were closing rapidly. The last thing any of them ever heard of him were his sobbing screams for them to help him, to let him out.

Thomas flinched as the doors of the maze shut, the deafening silence echoing. The boys all stood there, staring at the entrance as if Ben would magically appear, reassuring them that he was fine. Everyone was silent, and their sadness hung in the air like a thick veil.

Alby and Newt exchanged looks, silently communicating their unspoken words. Thomas wondered how they could do that, to Ben, and the anger and fear that coursed through his blood was infinite.

That night, Newt, Gally, and Alby went to the wall, and with heavy hearts, they scratched Ben's name out. Thomas watched from a distance, flinching as the shadows of the flames danced across the wall. He wondered if he would be yet another name, crossed off that wall someday.

Newt made his way back to the homestead a little slowly due to his limp. When he got there, the door was shut tightly, and he wondered if Cassie was asleep. Slipping inside, he made a quick task of closing the door so she wouldn't wake up. Just as he was about to collapse into his bed, he heard the sound of ragged, rushed breathing.

He immediately knew what was wrong and rushed to his best friend's side. She was buried beneath the blankets, but in the dim moonlight spilling through the open window above her, he made out the tear tracks across her cheeks.

Cassie felt like she was underwater, like she'd never be able to breathe again, and the thought made it even harder to get air into her lungs. She felt like something heavy was weighing on her chest. Faintly making out the sound of her name being called, she wanted to respond, to ask for help, but all that came out were strangled gasps.

Newt pulled the blankets off her body, careful not to startle her. He took a seat next to her curled frame, taking in the sight of her shaking body. He wanted to cry at the sight of her vulnerable state, but he had to be strong. Cassie faintly felt herself being picked up, and set against someone's chest, and she thrashed, clawing at anything she came into contact with, and if she had been in control of herself, she would have apologized.

Newt cradled her body against his, not caring if she was hurting him. He just wanted her to be able to breathe again. "Cass, I need you to breathe, okay? It's going to be okay."

Cassie could hear his words as he whispered them into her ear, and a strangled cry escaped her lips at them. She wanted to pull at her hair, but her body was frozen in a state of shock. She heard Newt whisper reassuring words into her ear and her strangled cries quieted to whimpers.

Newt rocked back and forth, holding her body against his in a protective manner. Maybe he was protecting her, from the world, from all the cruel things that happened to her. He listened to her breathing calm down but the strangled gasps escaping her wouldn't leave.

Her chest began to rise and fall at a rapid pace and her face felt like it was vibrating, the air wouldn't enter her body, and she gasped, "I miss her, Newt. I- I miss her so much."

Newt nodded as he held onto her, quietly whispering, "I know, Cass. I know."

"It was all my fault- I- was the re- reason she died!" Cassie cried out, her sobs echoing through the room.

Newt shook his head rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay as he held the broken girl in his arms, "It- it wasn't your fault, Cass. None of us could have-"

He let out a shaky breath, and at the sound, Cassie clutched his shirt, holding onto it like it was her last lifeline, her cries a painful reminder of what they'd both been through. She held onto him, wishing she could comfort him as she heard his silent cries, holding onto his shaky body. They spent the rest of the night holding onto one another, two kids forced to hold the weight of the world on their shoulders, with no one but each other.