Alexei and I have known each other for a little over a month now, and each day I fall more and more in love with him, and him with me. Each day, I learn more and more about Alexei, and every fact throws me into amazement. I can't dream of a world without him in it, but I can guess that the sky would forever be a dark and gloomy blanket over the earth if he did not exist. Alexei Kozlov is the light of my life, and if he is gone, then there is no longer any light -- simple as that.

We've stretched a soft blanket underneath us to shield us from the prickly grass as we lie here together. I can't think of anything else that I would love to do more than repose with no obligations with the person I love the most. There's nothing to do except for devote this time to each other in doing whatever we please. The universe relaxes for a moment. All is well. Until a certain question is posed.

"How long is your family staying in Saint Petersburg?" Alexei inquires with a voice as soft as the languidly shifting breeze, a voice that may be attributed to his concern about how long he has left with me before I return to Paris and resume my life, all the while missing him like crazy.

The question hits me like a load of bricks swinging straight into my stomach. I never pondered the subject since I met Alexei and he became a huge part of my life, but it's one of the most important questions he can ask. I don't need another crisis to sort through in my mind. We need to communicate this before I start a countdown and stress about how many days I have left.

All throughout this time that we've spent together in Saint Petersburg, from the instance when we first met to the present, we have not once talked of the future. The closest we've come is talking about resolutions to a future self without actually mentioning the word future. We need to broach the subject while we still have time to do so, or else we could lose all we have built with each other.

My family is only in Saint Petersburg for the summer, and we will return to Paris afterwards. How do Alexei and I proceed after that, since he would presumably stay in Russia? That's what I need to figure out sooner or later. I don't want to leave him, especially not after he's made my life so much more than it used to be. He gives me variety where there would usually be none. He sets my soul on fire.

"We're leaving Russia to return to Paris at the very beginning of October. Our French bodies can't handle when Russia gets even colder. In fact, I'm not even sure that Russians themselves can handle when Russia gets even colder."

Any country on earth would instantly become the stupidest country on earth if they decided to invade Russia in the winter. Their troops would all be dead before the chance to fight arose. They would gain nothing. Though it's not much different from some other war strategies I've heard. War in general is a mess.

"That's fair. Russia's a bitch in the winter. Any decently intelligent person would get out of here when the time comes for winter."

I don't think Alexei understands the gravity of the situation. While I have the privilege of escaping Russia before the winter consumes me, he does not. He has to stay here, like he has done for his entire life, and that is where we part ways, potentially forever. I will have no more friends, no more cheer. My parents won't understand, and Lourdes will try to understand but ultimately fail. I'll revert back to my state of loneliness with the addition of a missing space in my heart, yearning for someone I left many kilometers behind me.

"But I want to stay with you. You don't get to escape Saint Petersburg when my trip is over."

"We have a lot of time before that happens," Alexei assures me, though a small pinch of stress enters his bloodstream because of my own stress. "You don't have to worry about it right now."

"Time passes quickly, though," I counter right back.

"That is, if you don't spend it right."

I loop my fingers through some strands of Alexei's hair, twirling them around slowly and playing absently with them. "Then how do you propose we spend it? In the correct way, of course, but what does that entail?"

"We spend it however we like. No one tells us what to do. We can just make sweet love all day." Alexei wiggles his eyebrows in a jokingly suggestive manner, which earns him a soft nudge from me that gets my point across effectively enough.

"I would very much like to bring you back to Paris with me after my stay in Saint Petersburg."

That would fix the problem. When we leave Russia for France, I don't have to part with Alexei. He can come along and experience a new life in a different country. I can translate for him until he learns the language if he chooses. It would all be perfect. We don't even have to pick a date of return to Saint Petersburg for him, because he could theoretically stay with me forever, or go wherever I go if I don't stay in France.

"And what would your parents think about that?" He's skeptical, naturally, but the plan could work out somehow.

"We both know very well that you don't give a shit about what my parents think."

Alexei has demonstrated time and time again that my parents are the last people on earth that he'd listen to. He has never trusted them, even from the start, but adding in how they treat me puts a bit of animosity into the mixture as well. To him, my parents are just another set of nobles that he's always detested. They should mean nothing in his judgment.

"Well I've never had to live with them!" Alexei asserts, nevertheless with a smile. "To be honest, I'm a bit scared of them, too."

Alexei Kozlov? Scared of people? Now this is unheard of. He is usually so fearless, damning the consequences and never looking back. This must be a first time thing for him. I'm still in disbelief, really.

"I'll need to ask them obviously, but as long as we don't disturb them too much, everything should be fine."

"You're too many parts optimistic -- which is one reason why I love you, don't get me wrong; you're like the literal sun, super hot and super bright -- but you're not enough parts realistic."

Optimism is what pushes me. If everything were realistic in my planning process, I might just fall into the pessimistic side of the scale. I require optimism to keep myself going, which Alexei doesn't. Alexei is realistic but sometimes a bit unrealistically pessimistic. Personally, I believe that my approach to matters turns out better than his.

"You're always the one telling me to take chances. Why not go for it?"

Alexei has taught me how to come out of my shell, and now that I've done it, he tells me to slide back in again. But his mistake is that he's already taught me, so I have his skills now. I'll continue to persist.

"Damn you, Olivier Renaud, using my own logic against me."

I wink. "I guess it's because you're so smart."

"Don't sweet talk me to get what you want," Alexei protests, although with a light smile at the edge of his lips.

"Do you not want to go back to Paris with me, or are you just stubborn? I feel like my parents would be a minor inconvenience when you consider the fact that we could have been separated forever. And I know how much you're obsessed with me."

"You should also know that I'd love to. I just ask a lot of questions."

Instantly my attitude leaps. "Fantastic! I'll ask my parents when I next see them."

Moving closer, Alexei curls himself into me as if a child. "Just stay with me for now, okay?"

I sew a kiss to the top of his head, a tiny promise of love. "That's exactly where I want to be."  

~~~~~

A/N: i'm anticipating smth but i can't say ;))

but at least they're making plans 2gether omg how cute

~Dickotass