Chapter 16 That summer day

August 29, 2022
White Kamono Hotel

Until I went into college ay hindi na ako tinigilan ni Sarah. Para bang nabuhay na lang siya para gumawa ng paraan para mahirapan ako. It was like her life revolves around me— being my antagonist. At hanggang ngayon ay katanungan pa rin sa akin kung anong kaligayahan ang nakukuha niya sa mga bagay na ginagawa niya sa akin.

Was it for satisfaction? Success? Hindi ko alam kong sa sarili ko ako dapat maawa o sa kanya na wala nang ibang mundong makita kundi ang sa akin.

Nakaismid sa akin sina Sarah at Tita Kiana habang paalis na ako ng bahay nila. Sa wakas ay makakalaya na ako mula sa kanila. At ang naiwan ni Mama para sa akin ay legal nang napupunta sa akin.

Ilang mura at kawalan ng utang na loob ang siyang narinig ko kay Tita Kiana, at lahat iyon ay pinakinggan ko na lang at inilabas sa aking tainga. Sa ilang taon na kasama ko sila, mukhang nasanay na ang pandinig ko sa lahat ng pang-iinsultong ibinigay nila sa akin.

Nang makarating na ako sa may pintuan ramdam kong nakasunod pa rin sila sa likuran ko. Tumigil na ako sa paglalakad habang hila ang maleta ko. Hinarap ko sila sa pagkakataong iyon at sinalubong ang kanilang mga mata.

"Salamat sa pagkupkop sa akin sa loob nang maraming taon," hindi man lang ako nagbigay ng kahit anong emosyon sa kanila bago ako muling tumalikod at hilahin ang maleta ko.

Marami pa akong narinig na masasamang salita mula sa mag-inang bruha, pero ang tangi ko lang naramdaman nang mga oras na iyon ay ang salitang kalayaan.

***

They say everything looks magical when you're in love— that everything around you looks so dim, but the moment you met your eyes with him, all you could see is his every detail. The way he timidly smiles, the small movement of his eyes and how he looks at you with adoration, those hesitant hands trying to touch you, and the way he whispers words in different languages you never thought could be musical.

I may be writing tons of romance novels, that describe how beautiful love is, but as someone who hasn't experienced it, I just considered my novels as a flowery product of my own fantasy— something I couldn't reach.

But when our hands clasped together as he slowly slide it up, with the rustling sounds of the bed cover, the swooshing of the white curtains, and our lips giving each other's wishes. . .

I just realized that the most beautiful kind of love is a love not found in written words, but a kind of love that you can feel even when your eyes are closed.

It was that bright summer day, as the sunlight touches the hectares of golden rice fields, the moist of summer embracing people's skin, the mellow blow of the wind, the butterflies fluttering, and the bright colors of summer flowers, the chime of every passing bicycle, the sound of the urging train, the flow of the river, the chirping birds and the flapping wings of the huge eagle.

It was that bright summer day in that beautiful countryside, in a place so bright and warm, stood an old white hotel with its hundred years of service; sheltering a maiden who just found a place she could feel an escape— a warmth of home.

It was like having your eyes closed yet you could see the beauty of everything, like I was thrown into a garden filled with bright colors of flowers, and every touch of petals showering on my body was like feathers worshipping every part of me— his lips.

Kousuke Matsumoto delicately wandered around my body as if his lips were made for it, to adore me, to give me shivers, and to give me these tears I never thought I would have.

"You're beautiful," he whispered near my eyes before he kissed the tears gliding down my cheeks.  I could feel how the time slowed down and how he lovingly devoted his every second to making me well wanted, loved, and owned like he have been waiting for me to give in.

The way he kissed every tip of my fingers, the way he tenderly combed my hair through his hand as he drowned me in his kisses, every caress of the back of his hand, and his endless whispers of love.

Ang tanging nais ko lang gawin ay yakapin siya ng mga oras na iyon at damhin ang init na nais niyang iparating sa akin.

Kousuke Matsumoto's too gentle like he was holding the most sensitive girl in the world, na para bang sa sandaling hindi niya pigilan ang kanyang sarili ay bigla na lang akong mababasag. But I don't want to enjoy this alone.

Nag-angat ang dalawa kong kamay at marahan niyong hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi niya. "I'm okay, Kousuke."

This might be my first, but I know that I'd be happy to give it to him. When he saw the smile on my face, and felt I pulled him closer to receive my kisses, all he did was answer me with his silly smile.

Every time that I feel a little cold, I'd always pull the covers to warm me, but this time, I allowed Kousuke to make me feel not just the warmth, but pleasure.

The only thing I remembered during that blissful time was how the wooden bed frame creaked, how I constantly asked him to pull up the bed covers to cover our naked body, and how I gasped and moaned in anticipation to hold him and give in to him.

***

Madilim na sa labas nang magising ako. Kousuke's lying beside me, still asleep with his arms wrapped around me. Dahan-dahan ko iyong tinanggal at maingat akong bumangon sa kama. I gently covered my naked body by my bed covers, revealing that blood stain.

Nakaupo na ako sa kama pero nakayakap pa rin sa baywang ko si Kousuke habang nakasubsob ang kalahati ng mukha niya sa una. He was peacefully asleep. Hinayaan ko ang sarili kong pagmasdan siya.

Napaka-guwapo talaga.

Akala ko ay magtatagal pa ang pagkakatulog niya nang unti-unti na siyang maalimpungatan. His eyes were half-opened while trying to look at me.

"Good morning," bati niya sa akin.

"Evening, Kousuke." Kinusot na niya ang mga mata niya at nagsimula na rin siyang bumango. Dahil manipis lang ang puti kong kurtina, agad makikita sa labas na madilim na.

Napatingin ako roon sa bandang ibaba na hindi niya man lang inaabalang takpan nang maayos. Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin kay Kousuke nang nahuli niya akong nakatingin doon. Huminga ako nang malalim at minasahe ang aking noo.

"Would you like a coffee?"

"Can I sleep here?"

Umiling ako sa kanya. "You should go home."

"I am living alone, Rhoe Anne. You can stay at my place, rent-free. Oh, no, I mean you can pay me," ngising sagot niya sa akin.

Hindi ko na siya sinagot at sinimulan ko nang pulutin ang mga damit naming nagkalat sa sahig. Natatawa pa siya habang pinapanuod ako dahil pilit ko pa rin binabalutan ng kumot ang sarili ko.

"I've seen all of it, eh? Don't bother."

"Whatever, Kousuke Matsumoto," marahas kong hinila ang kumot bago ako nagtungo sa harapan ng cabinet at maghanap ng damit na madaling suotin. At ramdam kong sa sagot kilos ko ay nakasunod ang mga mata ni Kousuke sa akin.

Binuhay ko na rin ang ilaw bago ako nagtungo sa kusina at nagsimulang magtimpla ng kape. While Kousuke's still on my bed, now entertaining himself with one of my books. Maliit lang ang kama ko at saglit lang akong umalis sa tabi niya pero parang nakailang ikot na siya roon.

Inilapag ko sa bed side table ko iyong dalawang tasa ng kape. I pulled my chair and sat in front of him. "Aren't you going to get dressed, Kousuke?"

"Don't you want the view?"

Ngayon na bukas na ang ilaw mas nakikita ko na ang maputing kutis ni Kousuke na may bakas rin ng pula sa iba't ibang parte ng katawan. Dahil mabilis si Kousuke na sundan ang galaw ng aking mga mata, alam niya agad kung saan-saan na naman ako nakatingin.

Nagawa niya pang yumuko para tingnan ang mga tinitingnan ko.

"I never thought that I'd like red marks on my body," nang-aasar na sabi niya. Humigop na lang ako ng kape at nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya.

Kinuha niya na rin ang tasa ng kape niya at humigop na rin siya katulad ko.

"I am not rich, Kousuke. I am not like that rich actress that your cousin—"

"It's okay. I don't want to be a house husband. I can work in your country," agad niyang sagot. Ngumuso ako habang nakatitig sa kanya.

Bakit parang kung mag-usap kami ay parang magba-bahay bahayan kaming dalawa? Not because we made love. . . everything would escalate so fast. Ibinaba ko ang tasang hawak ko pero nanatili pa rin iyon sa kamay ko. Dalawang kamay ko ang may hawak roon habang nakatungo ako at pinagmamasdan ang natirang kape sa tasa.

"We're official, right, Rhoe Anne?" nahihimigan ko ang kaba niya nang tanungin niya ako niyon.

"Rhoe Anne," hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at sinalubong niya ang mga mata ko na parang tatakbuhan ko siya.

"O-Of course. . ."

Ngumiti siya sa akin. "You shouldn't break a promise, Rhoe Anne. I hate broken promises."

"Kousuke, I don't have plans to go home yet."

"I know. We're still going to find your father."

I thought he was going home right after having a cup of coffee, but being an official couple made Kousuke Matsumoto quite more aggressive. Dahil sinadya niya talagang hindi magbihis at hilahin akong muli sa kama. It gave us a couple of hours before we let go of each other.

I was planning to cook for him, para makatikim siya ng pagkaing pinoy, but we were both tired of going to a supermarket or even cooking. Kaya kumain na lang kami sa labas. We went to our usual restaurant and order our favorite foods. 

This time, even when people kept on strangely looking at us, wala na kaming pakialam ni Kousuke. "I think Sidra Everleigh will like you. And I am sure that she will tease me for having a girlfriend— a Filipina girlfriend."

"She will tease you that you copied your cousin," dagdag ko dahil iyon naman ang lagi niyang sinasabi sa akin nang magsimula na siyang magkwento tungkol sa pinsan niya at sa babaeng pinakasalan niya.

Kung dati ay limitado pa lang ang ikinukwento niya ngayon naman ay wala nang tigil ang istorya niya.

"I also have another cousin who has this strange relationship with another Filipina woman," dagdag niya. Pinagsalikop ko ang mga daliri ko at ipinatong ko ang siko ko sa lamesa. I leaned my face on the back of my hands and arched my brows at him.

"Aren't you just curious that's why you tried me?"

Ngumuso niya bago ngumisi sa akin. "To be honest, yes, I was a little bit curious."

"And your curiosity brought you to?"

"You, of course," he playfully licked his lips. "I will never let you go. To hell with the Matsumoto traditions, they can also disown me. I think Seiji can back me up right now."

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. "Life in the Philippines is not as convenient as here, Kousuke. You might ask to go home if you're starting to feel the inconvenience."

"Try me," he confidently said. Kung sabagay iyong pinsan niya nga nakatagal sa Pilipinas.

Akala ko ay uuwi na kami nang magyaya siya sa ilog. Natawa pa nga ako nang sabihin niya iyon, sa ganoong oras ay pupunta kami sa ilog? It took us almost half an hour before we arrive at the river.

Malapit lang iyon sa hotel ko pero halatang parang hindi naman pinupuntahan talaga ng mga tao.

"What are we gonna do here, Kousuke?" tanong ko nang nauna akong bumaba ng sasakyan. Sobrang dilim at halos wala na akong makita kundi dahil sa liwanag ng sasakyan niya.

"We are not going to do something—" bigla siyang natawa nang mahulaan niya ang ibig sabihin ko.

"Of course. I just want you to experience this," he gave me a stick. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at inalalayan niya ako para lumapit sa ilog, and then he lighted a match stick.

Nang sindihan niya iyong dulo ng stick na hawak ko ay bigla iyong nagliwanag.

"A firework stick!" gulat na sabi ko. Kinuha pa niya iyon sa kamay ko nang muntik ko nang bitawan.

"Here, be careful," inabot niya ulit iyon sa akin at tinanggap ko na.

"It's beautiful, ang sweet mo, ah?" I quickly tiptoed and kissed his cheek.

He chuckled. "I am so happy, Rhoe Anne, and it's because of you."