Adam slapped Hank on the shoulder. "Hermes! Good to see you again! Still pulling the youth scam I see. No one ever expects a kid to be a master thief and trickster."

Hank turned to Sportsgirl and me. "What's this guy talking about?" We shrugged.

Adam gave a hearty laugh. "Erasing the person's memories? Ah, classic Hermes. That joke never gets old." Adam cleared his throat. "Let's get down to business then."

He told us a tale of how long ago the "gods" were just normal mortals until the day the Xacians arrived and abducted a group of people. They experimented on them by infusing their bodies with phantasmic energy. The experiment had the desired effect of turning the victims into beings of pure phantasmic energy...but it also turned them into god-like beings. They gained powers that even the Xacians couldn't deal with. The "gods" banished the invaders. The grateful populace worshipped them as gods until the Xacians returned. The aliens turned the people against the gods and they were killed during Ragnarok (the First, that is—there were many more Ragnaroks).

The Xacians thought they'd destroyed the gods; but nope, they simply were reborn as the latest "gods." So, over the years, this group was killed and reincarnated many times, each time as the latest trending idol of humanity. They'd become celebrities, MyVideo stars, and even Internet memes.

"That time Dionysus was Nyan Cat still gives me nightmares," said Adam with a shiver.

He continued to explain that after centuries of death and rebirth some of the "gods" grew tired of the cycle. They decided the only way to end their torment was to destroy humanity.

"Aphrodite is the most recent to return. She's decided in order to eliminate humanity, she must eliminate emotion. Her first target is the City of Love, Paris."

"That explains why that man was so indifferent at the Eiffel Tower," I said.

"In order to cast her spell," said Adam, "she'll need a place that can reach all of Paris."

"The Eiffel Tower?" said Sportsgirl. "It's kind of like an antenna."

I stroke my dog equivalent of a chin. "No. The Catacombs stretch all over Paris."

***

After chasing Aphrodite, now known as Andi A. More-Ray, through the Catacombs, we finally cornered her in some chamber. Or so we thought. She'd figured that someone would come after her, so she set up a series of pistons that created a hidden stairway for her. Soon she was above ground. We followed her to street level.

"Give it up, Andi!" said Sportsgirl. "We aren't letting you erase emotion."

Andi chuckled as she brought her palm close to her mouth. She blew some kind of dust around the area. Suddenly everyone turned towards us. Andi giggled as everyone on the block rushed towards us with murder in their eyes.

***

Adam turned from the large glass window in his office. Thanks to his ability to "see everything under the sun," he saw our battle with Andi. "You're friends need help."

"They're not my friends." Hank sat in a comfortable and fancy sofa chair; the Caduceus rested across his legs. "I don't even know them. Besides, thieves don't have friends."

"You did once. Eleven to be exact." Hank rolled his eyes. "If you're so sure that you are nothing more than a thief, then what are you still doing here? You have the Caduceus and you know what you can do with it. You can travel anywhere, even through time and to the Afterlife."

Hank glanced down at the Caduceus. It began whispering once more.

***

Sportsgirl and I were not doing well. The bewitched bystanders held us tight while the goddess of love mocked us. "You never stood a chance. You're just demigods."

"Hey, Lady!" a voice from above shouted. "I've got a special delivery for you!" Suddenly a blur of golden sparkles smashed passed Andi. The 12-year-old Hank, aka Hermes, came to a skidding dramatic stop. He held one hand on the ground and the other in the air; he looked like a runner who'd come to a sudden stop. The winged staff was on his back. The wings retracted from his hoodie hood and sneakers.

Andi wiped away the small trickle of golden blood from her mouth. The cut began to heal quickly. "Fool. Don't you see this is the only way to end our torment? With no mankind to fuel the phantasmic energy with their belief, we can finally die in peace."

"Killing people is not the answer."

"The millennia have made you soft." She rushed at Hermes with her nails bared. The hood and sneaker wings reappeared. Hermes vanished in a whoosh of cosmic particles. He soon reappeared behind Andi. She stopped and turned. "You missed," she laughed.

"No. I didn't." Hermes opened his fist to reveal a clam shell. "Keep your belongings secure when there's a thief around."

Andi gasped. "No. Don't do it."

"I'm sorry. I wish there was another way." He crushed the shell.

Andi screamed as golden energy was extracted from her. Her appearance took on slightly less bright look; she no longer had a heavenly glow to her. She then collapsed, out cold. The energy was sucked into the bits of clam shell. Once all the energy was gone, the shell reassembled itself.

Hermes looked at the shell with a sad face. "Maybe next time will be different."

***

With the threat over, there was nothing else to do but invite Hermes/Hank to join the ILOST team.

"Thank you," said Hermes, "but I have work to do. Other gods are rising."

"Ahem," said Adam.

Hermes began to lift into the air. "But, if you need me; I'll be there."

"How will you know?" I asked.

He gave us a mischievous grin. "I'll know. I am the messenger god after all." He then zipped off in a streak of energy.

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