I couldn't identify another time in my life when I felt so safe, so cared for, so loved, and so much euphoria as I did unclothed in a bed with Aki. I couldn't remember, of course, what it was like in my mother's womb, but I was sure the feeling of Aki's hands on me, and the way he used his body with mine gave me more pleasure than even that state of being. I could watch the expressions on his face as he surrendered to it, like nothing else existed in the world except for me. Sometimes he would smile, bite his lip, but he always looked happy. He would tell me he was being selfish, and I had no idea what he could feel, but he gave me everything, satisfied every need I didn't know existed.

The next thing I knew, Aki was getting back into bed beside me, breathing a laugh. "You fall asleep right after every time." He said.

I focused on his face for a second, not remembering having fallen asleep at all, but not remembering him getting out of bed either. "How long was I asleep?"

"Two minutes? It's always just the time I'm in the bathroom." He shifted close, as close as he could get, held me hard with one arm, and cradled my head gently with the other. I closed my eyes against him, let my arms snake around his back, and felt his lips against my forehead. "Go back to sleep if you want."

We hadn't seen any of Nagoya outside of the station and the hotel room. We had arrived late in the afternoon, and the sun had already set. Aki had dropped our bags at the hotel room door, and immediately picked me up to bring me to the bed like he couldn't contain himself any longer, and we had stayed there into the night. Over Aki's shoulder, I could see out the window, the coloured lights decorating the suburban buildings around the hotel creating a soft glow of green, red, and white. We were removed from the busy part of the city, encased in a traditional atmosphere, but close enough that we could easily enjoy the convenience of it.

"What time is it?"

"Midnight or something." His body was starting to relax, becoming heavy next to me, and I ignored everything else except the feel of him.

The next thing I knew, I was waking to Aki's form shifting beside me, and opening my eyes to see him throw a yukata over his shoulders. The room was dark, the tiny coloured lights from outside the window cast a warm glow, and I could smell coffee.

"Did you make coffee without me?" I asked him, gaining his attention.

He looked over his shoulder at me before leaning over me to kiss me. "It's still early." He said. His voice was low. "It's just the only time that I can use the bath, while no one else is around."

"Do you want company?" I tried to wake up by stretching my arms over my head.

"I didn't want to wake you up, but since I did, I won't say no." He held his coffee cup out to me, offering me a sip.

It was four in the morning. The hotel was completely silent, and the bathhouse was moody, steamy, and the warmth made me feel as if I could melt. The onsen was the only place I witnessed Aki truly relaxed, and it was a gift to bear witness to.

"Why do you have to use the bath at four in the morning?"

He smiled, accepting that I had probably just made a joke at his expense, but he realized I was seriously asking. "Natsu, I'm covered in tattoos." He started to laugh. "It makes people uncomfortable."

"I don't really notice them anymore."

"You're used to me now, but I remember the first time I showed them to you, I had you shocked to silence."

I shook my head quickly, denying the accusation. "It wasn't your tattoos that shocked me, it was having you undress in front of me."

"I have a surprise for you." He had quietly brought his mug of coffee into the bathhouse, and sipped it while his eyes darted around the room like he was making sure no one was watching. "Tonight we're going to a Christmas concert. I was invited to sing a song with the orchestra."

I was suddenly very awake. "I'm excited! But I didn't bring anything to wear to an evening concert."

"I brought something for you. I bought it for you for Christmas, so I hope you like it."

It was December twenty-fourth, and we would be traveling back to Kamakura to meet the rest of Guardian at Aki's house on the twenty-sixth. When I was a child, I spent Christmas with my friends, because my parents had always wanted to do couples things. It was that time of year, that type of celebration. As I got older, my friends met boyfriends, and slowly, they disappeared to celebrate as couples as well. Into my early teens and adulthood, I hadn't spent Christmas with anyone until Aki, and Guardian. My makeshift adopted family. But it was the first time I spent Christmas completely alone with Aki.

"The colour might not go with your pink coat, so you can wear my black trench coat if you want. But you'll have to try it on first."

We went back to the room in our yukata with our towels draped over our shoulders. Aki immediately refilled his coffee mug, and placed a large, flat box on the bed slowly and carefully in front of me. He stood back, watching expectantly.

"Is this what you got me?" My voice was more excited than I meant it to be, but with the shy look on his face, I couldn't contain myself. He nodded to confirm my suspicion. "Why are you so nervous?"

"I just hope you like it. It's not something you would normally wear." I pulled the end of the red bow around the box to begin opening it, but he stopped me. "Take it into the bathroom, open it, put it on, and then decide."

He closed the door of the bathroom behind me, and I laughed, wondering why he was so nervous about gifts all of a sudden. I hoped I hadn't given him too much trouble with his birthday card. Inside the box was a dress, as I had expected it would be. It was dark red with a silky texture, but heavy fabric, and when I put it on, it hugged my body, and accentuated every feature I had. The straps over my shoulders were thin, and it crossed my chest in a wrap with a small, sleek bow that tied at one hip. The length flowed all the way to my ankles, but the wrap design gave it a long opening, enough for the skin of my thigh to peek through. Aki was right, it wasn't like anything I would have chosen for myself to wear, but it suit me, and made me feel mature and beautiful.

I emerged from the bathroom to Aki covering his mouth with a hand, looking at me as though he might forget he was holding a full coffee mug. "What do you think?" I asked him.

"What do you think?" He echoed.

I laughed at him, but he was mesmerized. "I really like it. You have good taste."

"I can't even look at you." He said, all the while, he never took his eyes from me. "I brought you black stockings and boots." He held out a small paper bag, then another mesh one. "And at the risk of sounding like a pervert, underwear, just in case."

I left him with his arms outstretched holding the items and his coffee, and moved my way between them to embrace him of my own accord. "Thank you, Aki, you always think of everything." I kissed his face, watching him close his eyes to enjoy it. "The underwear was very considerate." I took his coffee mug from him and took a sip, but it was a gesture really just meant to relieve one of his hands. "You know I only brought basic underwear."

He made a sound like he wanted to say something, but had to stop himself to think about it. "The underwear is new as well. I bought it at the same time I bought the dress. You didn't have anything that would go with it."

I looked inside the mesh bag to see a neatly folded set of black lace and mesh underwear, and suddenly it was my turn to be embarrassed and nervous. From what I could tell, the set was a little more revealing than the set I had worn during my brief stunt as a model. I didn't know why I was suddenly so nervous about it. Aki freely talked about such things, showed them off, and besides how open he was about it, he had seen everything already.

He got his trench coat out of the closet and held it open for me, so I could easily slip my arms into it. Though it was slightly too big for me, it complimented the look of the dress seamlessly. "You should wear it." He told me.

"What will you wear? It's going to get cold at night."

"I'm going to be wearing a suit, so I'll have lots of layers. But." He showed me his phone screen, with the image of a stylish mid-length wool coat. "That store has this coat, so I'm going to buy it with the gift card you gave me for my birthday. We can stop in on the way." I let him take the coat from me. "Now take that off and get back in bed. Let's try to get another hour of sleep at least."