Life turned out to be different, but in the same kind of way. Guardian spent every day in the recording studio that Yamada-san had booked out for them to rehearse, and it was reminiscent of the way they always did in Kamakura when I first met them. Big label life in Tokyo hadn't changed them at all, but it had changed Tokyo, and it had changed the label. I could see that they had been desperately trying to fit in, since they had stopped trying so hard upon their return after the holiday. They had it all figured out, they didn't have anything to worry about, no one to impress, and their presence alone was enough to make waves. They focused on living their lives, making the music they wanted to make, instead of focusing on keeping their heads down and creating as much success as they could.

I looked at Aki differently. I didn't expect to. We had lived together in some capacity since the day we met, spent more nights together than apart, shared every up, shared every down, but catching the sight of the wedding ring on his finger felt like witnessing yet another new side of him. A new discovery. I wondered if I was such a dynamic experience to Aki as he was to me.

"I need to get my hair cut, that's it." Aki said as he tucked the front layers behind his ear. I got a glimpse of his ring as he did it, and the smile he gave me told me he had caught me staring. We had returned home late from the studio, near midnight, which was later than usual. "What are you looking at?"

He laughed as he asked, and threw his backpack onto the floor in front of the entryway closet. "Your hair." I flipped the light on in the kitchen and filled the teapot. A few weeks had already passed since we were married at the shrine, but it still surprised me to see a physical symbol of his devotion that he would never remove.

"No you weren't." He peeled off the t-shirt he had been wearing under his hooded sweater all day and I quickly took it from him before he had a chance to toss it into the bedroom. He knew my habits too well though. "No. Get a clean one from the dresser, I've been sweating in that all day."

I stripped myself down to just my underwear right in front of him, and pulled his shirt on over my head anyway. "I'm going to start the bath."

He grabbed my arm to stop me, pulling to place my arms atop his shoulders. He grabbed the back of my knees and lifted me, but leaned back using our opposing weight to settle himself gently on the floor. He laid back, lifting his knees and setting his feet on the floor so I had no choice but to loose my balance against him. He held me around my back, cradled the back of my neck with one hand, and we relaxed there for a while.

"I'm kind of scared." He finally spoke. "Going back to auditioning for labels, doing demo sets, after twelve years of success. It was such hard work. Now we have to do it again, with all the uncertainty, and maybe end up right back where we were, signing a new contract in Tokyo."

"Did you tell anyone else? Maybe they feel the same way."

I felt his chest rise and fall with a heavy breath under my cheek. "They probably do. But this is what's best for us, so I'm not going to suggest we stop progress."

"Does the label know anything?"

"They're pressuring us to the sign the renewal. I think they have a hunch something is going on because we haven't signed, but we've had the studio time booked."

I lifted myself so I could look at him, holding myself up with my elbows and forearms. "I think you're doing the right thing. Whether we go back to Kamakura or not."

"You still have another year of university though, after this summer. So if we go anywhere other than here, we'll have some decisions to make."

I put my head back down on his chest. "I want to just drop out."

"You better not. Your mom will kill me." He fished in his pants pocket for his phone, holding it close to his face as he tapped the screen, then held it so I could see. "We booked the rental house. It's in Yokohama, on the water."

I took the phone from him, sitting up quickly. "Right in Minato Mirai? That must have been expensive."

"It's the most central location to visit all the labels. We landed an audition with every single one we applied to. They all know us, and they all really want to see us."

I held his phone against my chest as if it was a precious item. "You knew this the whole time?" I asked, and waited for him to nod. "And you pretended like you were scared?"

"I am scared." He laughed as if he was relieved of the weight of a secret he had been keeping. "But I think we will be able to take our pick." He pat my thigh with his palm. "Go get the bath started. And take that sweaty shirt off."

We took the train from Tokyo to Yokohama at the beginning of the summer, the end of May just a few days after the end of my year in university. The four that made up Guardian, looking like punks that had crawled out of the London Underground scene carrying guitars and wheeling luggage behind them, and me. It was a straightforward trip to the rental house, just thirty minutes on the train watching the scenery as it switched from Tokyo's crowded streets and buildings that were too close together, to Yokohama's sprawling landscape next to the bay. We walked from the station to the rental house, taking our time, making mental notes of the cafes and restaurants close by for late night outings. The house overlooked the bay, and as we arrived late afternoon, the sun was setting over the water, throwing a warm orange glow into the windows. The layout was an open concept single floor with four bedrooms, kitchen, and two bathrooms, decorated with elements of traditional style but kept streamline and modern. The back of the house faced the bay with a platform and stairs that lead down to the entrance of a park.

"Only four rooms, guess you're going to have to bunk with me, Natsuko." Kota commented jokingly, pointing to the hallway of doors leading to the bedrooms.

Aki closed in behind me and draped an arm over my shoulders. "She would probably be more comfortable with me." He stated, as if it was a debate.

Kota shrugged. "What do you think, Natsuko?"

I was somehow caught off-guard by the jokes, and suddenly nervous to be in the situation. "I want to stay with Aki!" My mind meant to play along with their innocent joke, but my body betrayed me, and I blurted out the response sounding more desperate than I had intended to.

We chose our rooms, and Aki and I segregated ourselves to unpack and adjust. I sat myself on the bed and let Aki open his suitcase and begin hanging clothes in the small closet. My mind had gone blank, and I could feel my eyes start to burn.

"Hey, do you want to go check out one of those cafes and take a walk in the park before it gets late?" He turned to look at me as he asked, just as the tears spilled over. "What's the matter?" He sat next to me, half turning himself so he could gather me in his arms. "It was a long day, wasn't it? And now we're somewhere new again." I didn't really know why I was crying, just that I was overcome with emotion, and not just one in particular. It had become a common occurrence for me it seemed, and Aki seemed used to it. "Kota was just joking, you know that. Even if he wasn't, you know he wouldn't do anything."

I nodded against him, but continued to cry. He didn't let go of me as he rearranged us so he could sit back against the pillows at the headboard of the bed, and cradled my head against his chest. I was soaking his shirt, but he didn't seem to care, and occasionally reached down to used it to pinch my nose between his fingers. He didn't say anything else, and I lost track of how long it took him to eventually loose his patience and begin to try to distract me with his hands and mouth.

I was in a sleepy, peaceful, happy daze, but my eyes fluttered open to the sound of low talking from the kitchen just outside the bedroom door. I lifted my head to look around the room, finding that Aki was no longer in the room, and his shirt that I had cried into was discarded at the end of the bed. I could smell freshly made coffee, and I allowed myself to linger in the state between sleep and wake and listen to the voices. I would let them either put me back to sleep or gently wake me.

"I heard her last night." I heard Fuji's voice accompanied by the sound of a mug being set down softly on a table. His room was next to ours, so I thought he must have been talking about me.

"No." I heard Aki's voice answer him. "I'm sorry, I was trying to keep her quiet. Absolutely my fault."

I had assumed Fuji was referring to hearing me crying. "Don't be sorry. Never deny a woman the opportunity to express the pleasure she's experiencing." I felt my cheeks turn hot when I realized he was not referring to the sound of my crying.

"You're such a perverted old man." Aki said with a slight laugh in his voice.

I heard Fuji laugh. "She loves you very sincerely. You've changed a lot since I met you. I'm happy for you."

"She's never loved anyone else." Aki's comment was simply put for such a deep topic of conversation they were having over a morning coffee.

"Then it was best for her that she met you."

"I had the potential to be the bad boy that everyone wants me to be. I really could have turned out to be a player." Aki's voice was the type he used when he was trying to be humble. "I had a band at sixteen, I lived alone in a nice house, I dropped out of school. Masami knew she wouldn't be around forever, but she didn't bother to tell me that until I was already in too deep. I think she turned me into a proper man to prepare me for the future."

I decided it was about time to make my presence known, and I couldn't stand the smell of the coffee anymore. "Good morning." I said as I left the room, closing the door behind me. I made a mental note to open the window later to let the fresh air in. "I smelled coffee."

Aki got up out of his chair to pour a cup for me, and pat the seat with his palm to let me know I should sit. He set the cup in front of me at the table, but returned to the coffee maker on the counter to refill his own cup.

"I heard you had a rough night." Fuji said, as an invitation for me talk about it if I wanted to.

"It was not rough." Aki said under his breath, leaning back against the counter and lifting his cup to take a sip.

I pretended not to hear him, though I didn't know if the colour of cheeks gave away the fact that I had. "It's nothing." I said to Fuji. "I always cry when we leave home."

Fuji cast a glance at Aki, trying not to smile, and I ignored the exchange as best I could. "We have a free day today to settle in, but tomorrow we get to work. We have a few auditions in Yokohama, a few in Osaka, one or two in smaller areas in between, and we scheduled the ones in Tokyo for when we get back."

I nodded to Fuji, interested in listening to him describe how the two weeks in Yokohama would progress, but I could feel Aki's eyes on me. "Natsu, you don't need to be so embarrassed." He said it as if time had somehow frozen for Fuji, and only I could hear him.

"We can't imagine how challenging it is to be the only woman among us." Fuji said, leaning back in his chair as if he had really heard nothing. I caught his eyes flicker toward Aki. "We're an interesting group to navigate. But your husband has the purest intentions."

"I really do enjoy being with all of you together like this. At Christmas, on tour, it's fun. You guys are my family." I left the chair to refill my coffee cup, but ended up held against Aki at the counter. His arms were heavy, and had no sign of letting me go. "I just cry because I get overwhelmed at being in a new place. You guys are used to it. Before I met Aki, I never left Kamakura."

"Aki!" I felt his body tense against me at the shout, which turned out to be Kota, joining us as he burst out of his bedroom door. "Can I borrow that?"

"Borrow what?" Aki sounded annoyed at having been startled.

Kota's hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me gently until Aki let go. "This." He said. "I'll give it back right away. Natsuko, you have to see the backyard."

I didn't exactly protest as Kota pulled me. "Shouldn't Aki see it too, if it's so important?"

"I'm going to shower." Aki said. He hadn't moved to protest Kota taking me away either. "I'll help you with your skin care when you're done with Kota, and we'll go explore the second district."