After the show had finished that night, and we waited for the crowd to disperse, Aki and I walked with Kota to our rooms in the hotel. Aki was between us with an arm around both our shoulders, and Kota and I managed to half carry him as his adrenaline high quickly wore out. As I waited for Aki to fish the key card out of his backpack, I stole a glance over my shoulder, down the hall to see Fuji standing outside of his room's door as if he was waiting for something. Waiting for someone.

Aki sat on the floor in the shower under the stream of water, his eyes closed, blowing droplets away from his nose now and then. He was fully relaxed, letting the steam and the warmth of the water loosen everything that he wanted to wash away, and he reminded me of a monk standing under a waterfall.

I stepped into the shower behind him, squeezing shampoo into my palm. "Keep your eyes closed." I said to him, and began work washing out the hairspray. He seemed to vibrate with happiness at my touch, a sound of appreciation escaping his lips.

"We have tomorrow off." He said. "Checkout isn't until noon. I think we can look around this area before we have to travel again as well."

I worked my fingers into his hair to help the water rinse away the shampoo, and reached to his forehead, raking my fingers back like a comb to remove his hair from his face. "Are we sleeping in tomorrow then?" I laughed a little, knowing a few of Aki's definitions of 'sleeping in' did not involve sleep at all.

"You know how I sleep." He laughed with me. "But you sleep as long as you like, I'll hold you the whole time." He stood up, grabbing the first bottle of soap he could see. "Let's not waste precious sleeping time like this."

Aki had gotten used to sleeping halfway propped up with two pillows under his back from his time recovering. He had discarded his towel from around his waist onto the floor and settled himself in the bed, slicking his still damp hair back. With his makeup removed and his expression fully vulnerable, I could see dark circles beginning to form under his eyes from exhaustion. I followed his lead, discarding my towel onto the floor and climbing under the sheets with him as he held out an arm to invite me in close.

"You don't usually give in to that unless I help." He said, reaching under the sheet to run his palm over my skin. I knew he was pointing it out to give me a chance to back out and retreat to my t-shirt and underwear.

Instead I settled myself in his hold. "I can tell you're exhausted from today." I said. "I thought I'd take some tasks off your plate."

I woke fighting to remove myself from a nightmare, groggy, and scared. The nightmare had replayed more than once, the same every time, as I relived the attack Aki and I had endured. Sometimes, I could tell myself it was only a dream, wake myself before I experienced a flash of reminiscence, and other times I was trapped in it to see it all over again. I woke shouting Aki's name, reaching beside me, but the bed was empty.

"Aki?" I looked around the room. The sunlight was streaming in through the window, the bathroom door was open, and Aki was nowhere to be seen. I reached for my phone on the bedside table, and my tired fingertips touched something unfamiliar. I held up a hand written note on a napkin. "Went to the hotel gym with Fuji before breakfast." It had been left atop my phone.

I quickly changed into my exercise shorts and sports bra, fishing for Aki's baseball cap in his backpack. I tied the Guardian tour hooded sweater around my waist, and recalled how to pour a double espresso shot from the coffee machine in the room, after watching Aki do it a few times. I took a moment before leaving the room to take a sip from my espresso cup, looking myself over in the full length mirror by the door. The band of my sports bra covered my tiny tattoo, and I lifted it slightly to see the symbol for 'power' there on my side. To remind myself of the truth in Aki's words when he told me from the very beginning that I was more powerful than I thought of myself. During the ten minutes it had taken me to get out of bed and get dressed, I realized I had already stopped thinking about the nightmare that had woken me. Maybe I could believe that it was true after all.

I found Aki boxing with Fuji holding focus pads for him in the gym, his hands wrapped, and his shirt had been discarded on the floor nearby. I made my entrance quietly so I didn't break his concentration, as I watched him throw combinations of punches into the pads with precision. Fuji was fixed on him, trying to predict his next moves, watching for any telegraphing in his stance. He threw a combination of rapid punches, too quick to count, and dropped his hands, walking in a small circle away from Fuji.

"Good job, Aki." Fuji said to him. "You're getting stronger again quickly."

I clapped my hands together from the doorway, half in celebration and half to announce my presence in the room. Aki opened his arms to engulf me in a tight hug, and I felt the sweat from his skin immediately start soaking my clothes. He was breathing heavily, and reached for his water bottle behind me without letting go, sitting atop a rack of weights.

"Aki, you're drenched, you're going to get sweat all over her." Fuji laughed.

Aki still didn't let go of me. "I've sweat all over her plenty of times."

"Lucky you, Natsuko." Fuji put the pads down, grabbing a towel and a water bottle. "I have to get going, see you at checkout."

"Thanks for your help, Fuji. This recovery would be terrible without you." Fuji left the room with a wave, not looking back. Aki finally released me, and took a drink from his water bottle, reaching to take the espresso cup from my hand at the same time. "Good morning. Is that espresso?"

"Has Fuji been helping you all this time?" I asked him, surrendering to the idea that he was going to drink the entire cup.

He nodded as he tipped it back, finishing it off in one mouthful. "Every lunch time at the recording studio. We started a couple weeks back, but we weren't able to practice together during the tour rehearsals very much." He walked around me to a row of rolled up exercise mats leaning in a corner, reaching to grab one. "Are you doing a workout? I have to stretch, so I'll wait for you."

I nodded, pointing to the treadmill. "I was going to run. I was thinking I better not go outside around here to do that."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Aki unrolled the mat on the floor. "Fuji had to leave because Hina stayed with him last night, and she was still asleep in the room when he came down here with me. But he still won't say if anything happened between them yet." He had a smile on his face that showed how much he was enjoying watching the situation unfold between his friend and mine.

"Doesn't do me any good if he told you she's avoiding me on purpose. I'm happy for him though, if he's happy." I folded my arms across my chest. "I'm not sure if I care if she's happy."

Aki laughed at my comment, sitting down on the mat. "I can stop sharing the updates with you, I just don't want you to be surprised if they suddenly decide to stop sneaking around."

I shook my head, untying my sweater from my waist and draping it over the hand railing of the treadmill. "I'm fine, I'm just going to run my frustration out."

"Where did you get that?" He asked, pointing at me, and I assumed he had noticed that I was wearing his hat.

"Your backpack."

He nodded slowly as if he understood what I had said, but still had to process the words. "I will treat you to more espresso when you're done since I drank yours. I need to rinse off, but I'll be right back."

I ran as fast as I could for as long as I could, until I was so winded I couldn't inhale anymore. Sweat was beading on my face, and I could feel it running down my back. I stood on the side rails of the treadmill trying to catch my breath, wondering what I was running so hard from. I gradually recalled the nightmare I had, and I felt my body begin to shake remembering being on the ground, reaching for Aki, seeing him on his hands and knees with blood running down his face. I tried to focus on my breath, drawing in a long inhale, and exhaling slowly, but even my breathing was shaking. I stepped off the treadmill onto the gym floor, and my legs gave out beneath me, leaving me crouching. As my breath got away from me, I couldn't stop myself from crying.

I had covered my face with my hands and allowed myself to sob, crouched on the floor beside the treadmill, when I heard footsteps approaching me quickly. Without a word, I was pulled into an embrace, my knees resting atop thighs, my face in my hands still, cradled against a shoulder. Strong hands were on my back, and I immediately relaxed enough to smell coffee in proximity. I wrapped one hand under the arm that held me, flattening my palm against his back.

"It's okay, love." His voice surrounded me easily. He was quiet, calm, and he asked no questions, just simply provided comfort.

"Aki." I felt my grip on his back tighten for reassurance without thinking about it. Just to remind myself that he was real.

"I'm here." He reassured me anyway.

Some time passed in silence as he allowed me to cry, to soak the shoulder of his t-shirt, and finally when I released him, we sat together still on the floor beside the treadmill. He kept a hand atop my shoulder, and held out a small cup of coffee, looking at my face unwavering as he did. He was expectant with his expression, giving me space to speak my mind, telling me with just one look that he would listen.

"I had that nightmare again." I said, beginning to explain. I sipped from the cup he had given me to find it was espresso, as he had promised. "I see you on the ground, bleeding, holding your ribs and gritting your teeth. I could see how much pain you were in. I live it all over again every time I have that nightmare."

I looked at his face as I spoke, trying to gauge his reaction. "I'm sorry, Natsu. I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry you had to see it. Sometimes I really feel like I turned your life upside down." His voice was quiet, and I heard regret in it. "My heart aches for you every time you cry like that. But I'm glad that you still reach for me for safety." His hand landed on the back of my head, and he pulled our foreheads together. "And hey, I'm okay. You weren't going to loose me."

"It came close."

"I'm here, okay? I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere without you." I held my breath as he spoke, trying not to start crying all over again. "Listen." His voice turned serious. "You're doing great. Like I told you that day you were laying on the stage, I'm proud of how far you've come. If it had been even one month ago, there's no way you would have laid there with your eyes closed, and let me get that close to you."

I laughed and sniffed back more tears at the same time, a little embarrassed at the fact he was pointing out. "I could smell your cologne, I knew it was you." I tried to justify it away as if it was nothing, but I remembered as I had laid there that day, I listened to the sound of his footsteps approach before I could recognize him.

"I don't want to admit this, but I'm still scared too. I'm not trying to ignore the fact that I got really lucky and didn't die that night. But I am trying to put it past me." I laid my head to rest on his shoulder as his hand wandered up and down my back. "I'm not being careless and letting my guard down, but I don't want to continue living my life looking over my shoulder all the time."

"Where are we going next?" I lifted my head and wiped my cheeks with my fingertips. Aki lifted the hem of his clean t-shirt to dab the remaining tears from my face. "Sorry about your shirt."

He just laughed, he had no other comment. "Hachioji."

"Will there be any summer left to spend some time at your house in Kamakura after the tour?"

He stood, reaching out his open hand to offer to me for help. "About a week I think." He lead us to exit the gym, and I knew it was time to pack our bags and check out of the hotel. "You want to go?" I nodded, squeezing his hand tightly as a gesture to thank him for his attentiveness without changing the topic of conversation. "I'm going to get some more tattoos, and we can go to Kamakura while I heal, and we can forget about everything else for a while."