"That's okay, I'll carry her." I heard Aki's voice reverberate low in his throat, and my eyes flickered open to see him reach for the seat backs to pull himself upright as I lay against him. I looked up at his face. "Oh, you're awake. I honestly didn't want to carry you down those stairs off the bus. Too dangerous."

"Good morning." Kota leaned into my field of vision. "We're at the hotel."

I blinked to clear my eyes of sleep and pushed myself off of Aki. "Is it really morning?"

Aki laughed. "No, we've only been driving for two hours." Aki stood from the seat behind me, and Kota immediately put an arm around his shoulders, pulling us to start walking. "We're staying in this hotel for two nights this time, it will let us get our bearings a little more."

"They shouldn't be allowed to do things like that." I recognized Rinna's voice from the back of the bus, and looked back to see what she was talking about, but Kota and Aki blocked my view. I could see Aki cast a quick glace over his shoulder, then at Kota.

"She's been going off for a while." Kota said, still encouraging us to exit the bus.

"It's going to hurt Aki's image. He's going to loose fans, and the band will suffer." Rinna's comments were still flying. I stole a glance and saw her sitting beside Yamada-san in the back row.

We made our way down the stairs of the bus, stepping into the walkway up to the hotel lobby. "Don't pay any attention to what you just heard." Kota continued. Aki pushed me with his fingertips on my back, encouraging me to walk in front, and stretched his arms over his head, twisting from side to side. I looked back to see Kota handing Aki his phone, and Aki laughed. "Guardian has blown up on social media since you made and appearance, Natsuko, and all the fans love you. Everyone is commenting such nice things."

Aki held Kota's phone out to me to see, and I took it from him to read some of the comments. I was overwhelmed with joy at the outpouring of support for me by the fans of Guardian, and how each of the comments had been made by a fan who took a moment to express their feelings toward the direction the band had taken. I walked into the hotel lobby and to the front desk in between Kota and Aki, their arms around each other's shoulders and in turn, around me as well. I held them both around their backs, and I tuned into the moment without really taking in my surroundings, just understanding how it felt.

"Aki, there's a lot of comments telling you to marry her." Kota said as we stood at the front desk, waiting for our room keys to be assigned. "A lot. Are you going to tell them?"

I looked to Aki's face expectantly, but I saw hesitation in his expression. "I wanted to make an announcement during the last show of the tour." He said. "I didn't want to announce it too soon and risk making fans angry at Guardian, since not all the tour tickets are sold out yet. I was going to talk to you guys about it soon."

"There were thousands of comments from fans saying marry her. Thousands. I don't think you have to worry."

Aki turned his attention to me. "Now I wish I had have waited to ask you on stage." He said with a laugh, but I knew he was serious.

"I'm glad you didn't, I cried like a baby when you asked me. That was too embarrassing."

Kota grabbed me, pulling me away from Aki into a hug. "Did you cry when he asked you?" He said, laughing. "Aki you actually have the most precious girl in the world."

Aki leaned with one arm on the counter, looking at me in a way I had never seen before. His expression was tired, but peaceful, like he too was basking in just drinking in the feeling of the moment. He made his life look so natural, no effortless, that I often forgot how grateful he was for it.

"Can't you just picture this guy doing laundry and folding your underwear?" Kota laughed, gesturing at Aki with an open palm. "Aki, wash your face, you look like you're trying to be a rockstar or something."

"I'm going to talk to Yamada."

Kota walked with me to the room, carrying Aki's backpack and wheeling his own luggage behind him, while I sent Aki a message with the room number. He replied telling me to start the shower in ten minutes. "I can wait with you until he gets here, if you want." Kota set his luggage in front of the next door over.

I used the key card to open the door, holding it for Kota to walk inside. He put Aki's backpack on the bed, and I followed suit to put mine beside it. "It's fine, I'm going to start getting washed up for bed. He shouldn't be long."

He held up his key card to show me the room number. "I'm literally right next door if you need anything."

He opened the door to the hallway, revealing Rinna with her key card in hand, reading the numbers on the doors, looking for her room. Her eyes met with Kota's, then mine, as she paused to take in what she was looking at. "No way, I just saw Aki downstairs talking to Yamada. What's Kota doing in there with you?"

Kota looked like he had run out of patience, but he wasn't about to play into her trap. "Calm down, I brought Aki's bags up for him with Natsuko."

I admired Kota's complacency, however, I couldn't be complacent any longer. "All you've done since you met me is complain about me being a part of Aki's life. I've done nothing to make you hate me." I heard myself raising my voice as if the real me was somewhere far away from it all happening. "Have you taken even one second to be grateful that you're here with this band, able to play with them on the tour? Maybe if you did, everyone would get along with you better instead of just trying to put up with you for one more show."

Both Rinna and Kota were silent, looking at me for a beat of time, until Rinna turned to walk briskly back down the hall. I felt my hands shaking slightly with the burst of energy it had taken for me to finally stand up for myself. "Someone had to say it." Kota said to me. "I'm glad it was you. It probably meant more coming from you."

I covered my face with my hands. "I'm sorry. I should have just stayed out of it." I was suddenly extremely embarrassed by my outburst, but proud of myself at the same time.

"Go get washed up for bed. I'll wait outside and give Aki his card, he'll be here any second anyway."

I had done a satisfactory job at avoiding Rinna during rehearsals and sound checks, and I knew that she would likely try harder to avoid me as well. I felt conflicted between being embarrassed and being proud of myself, and I concluded that living the life of a powerful woman was going to feel that way for a while. It was out of character for me to stand up for myself, as I had previously chosen to simply remove myself instead of being loud about how I was feeling. I would learn, and it would get easier each time, like everything else I had to practice.

I stripped everything off down to my underwear as soon as Kota shut the door, smiling to myself as I remembered the picture in my mind's eye of Aki doing laundry. When we had moved into our Tokyo apartment together, I had jokingly concealed my underwear drawer, telling him not to look. True to his word, he never did, and resolved to see them all eventually just like he said. I rummaged in his backpack and pulled out a clean black t-shirt to cover myself. I lifted the collar up to my nose to breathe in Aki's scent as I walked to the bathroom, something I found myself doing completely without thinking.

Aki loudly entered the room only a moment later, pulling his clothes off to discard on the floor, and making a show of falling backward onto the bed. He took a deep breath and turned his head to look at me in the doorway of the bathroom. "Hey, remember when you told me you thought I would get along well with Rinna?"

He chuckled, returning his gaze to the ceiling. "Yeah, that was a funny joke, wasn't it."

The second venue was much larger than the first, and two shows were booked, one night after the other. I watched the show from the side of the stage, and even though it was almost an exact replica of the night before, I was entranced by the talent of Guardian as a whole once again. I thought I would never tire of the feeling of being swept off my feet again and again, especially as I watched Aki strut and dance his way across the stage. Every time he paused to scream his soul into the crowd, my heart skipped a beat. I tried hard not to think about the fact that my new life was presenting itself to me that way, and I didn't want to think about anything that would remove me from the moment I was witnessing. I told myself that I could have the experience over and over, for years to come, that it was all real, but to honour it and cherish it just the same.

During a break between the songs, Aki breathlessly approached the microphone. I anticipated my introduction. "So, something was brought to my attention after yesterday's show in Shinjuku." Aki said to the audience. "Thank you for your support and kind words on our social media." He outstretched a hand to my side of the stage. "Natsuko, my love, will you sing with me tonight? We're going to sing for you a cappella, a song called Autumn." I joined him on the stage, and like always he gathered me into a tight embrace quickly first.

He turned back to the microphone. "I was told that there were thousands of comments telling me to marry her." He turned toward me, and lowered himself to one knee. I began to laugh, unsure of what else to do, as the sound from the audience became a roar. He stayed there for a moment laughing with me, then got up and returned to the microphone. In confusion, the audience fell silent almost immediately. "I'm just kidding. I've been holding out on you actually. I asked her to marry me way back in December, and she said yes." The eruption of cheer was deafening, and I knew by the sound that the fans of Guardian were genuine. Every person in the audience that night was truly happy for Aki.

He spread his arms, motioning to either side of him where Hiro and Kota stood. "These guys are still available though." They both joined the laughter and Kota waved his arms over his head, as if to demonstrate that he was one of the 'guys' Aki was referring to. He waved to me to join him at his microphone. We stood facing each other, and Aki put one hand atop the microphone stand and the other around my back to hold me close. Without waiting for the noises from the crowd to completely die, he began to sing, and with the power of his voice he commanded silence.

Late into the night, we lingered outside the venue after the audience had cleared, resolving to talk to the fans who stayed to wait in hopes of catching a glimpse of the band. There was a modest crowd of about fifteen girls, and they were happy and respectful as they shook hands with each member of Guardian and complimented them about the show. I hung back from them, allowing them to interact with their fans without getting in the way, but one group of girls seemed to seek me out above anyone else. Three of them slowly approached me, as if waiting for me to acknowledge them, or trying not to startle me.

"Sugimori-san, congratulations on your engagement." One of the girls in the group said to me as they approached.

I held my hand out to take hers, and I bowed to her. "Thank you, and thank you for your support."

"All of the real fans of Guardian are happy for you and Aki. We think you're both perfect together, and we're happy that Aki is happy. And that he ended up with someone talented like you instead of some groupie." The interaction with the girls made me feel more like I belonged, like I had earned my place and was respected for it. I felt for one moment like a member of Guardian.

In my shoulder bag, my phone began to ring. I turned my back to the group, walking a few paces toward the building to answer it without looking at the name on the display. "Natsuko? Guess where I am."

"Ayane!" I recognized the voice of my university friend immediately. "Guess where you are? How would I know where you are?"

"I was just in the audience of a Guardian concert."

I involuntarily began searching the area with my eyes, looking around for any sight of a familiar face. "You're here? You saw the show?"

She laughed on the other end of the phone. "I'm on the train heading back home now." She said. "But you were amazing on stage. I loved seeing you sing with Aki."

I could feel my cheeks turning hot with embarrassment at the praise from my friend, overwhelmed with joy that I had been able to provide her with happiness during my performance. "Thank you, Ayane. I wish you could have stayed after to meet me."

"I figured you would be too busy, and I didn't want to bother you. Next time maybe."

"Are you going to be attending any other shows?"

She made a sound like she was neither confirming nor denying my question. "I had a hard time getting tickets. Now that Guardian is gaining popularity they go quickly. I'm still trying for a few dates." I nodded to the phone, feeling thankful that she remained such a devoted fan. Guardian had changed both of our lives, each in very different ways, but in exactly the right ways that we both needed. "I'll let you know. Have a great time on tour, okay?"

"I will! See you soon, I hope." I hung up the phone with some reservation about whether or not she was truly happy for me or if she had become jealous. The tone of her voice had changed since I had last spoken with her in school, and I wondered if she was worn down from the travel and attending the concert, or whether she was worn down from faking a polite facade for me.

I wondered if that was how friendships would turn out for me, in the wake of my close association to Guardian. Hina had been my best friend for years, and suddenly vanished from my life with anger directed at the closeness of Aki and myself. I wasn't sure if I could identify jealousy because she didn't want to become as close to Fuji, or because she didn't want me to be as close to Aki. I had accepted that I might never know the real reason she seemed to want nothing to do with me, but I hadn't yet accepted that friendship for me would be situational only.