(September 1995)

I rubbed my sweaty hands on my new jeans and straightened out the straps on my brand new, pink Power Rangers tank top. This was my first day of grade 2 and I should be used to the feeling of butterflies that come with starting off at a new school.

There's nothing that I hate more than being the new kid and it just so happens that I haven't had a year yet, where I wasn't starting off as the newbie.

My Dad had promised me that this was the last time though. He might not be able to be here all the time but he plans to finish off his hockey career here, playing for his favourite hockey team the Toronto Maple Leafs.

He had moved back to his hometown of Fenelon so that we would be with his family and when he needed to travel, I would be able to stay here with them.

He has an apartment he will be keeping in Toronto and will split his time between Toronto and Fenelon, depending on his schedule.

It will mean that we'll have a lot of time apart but anytime he's gone, I'll be able to stay with family.

He turned around to look at me as he pulled into an empty parking space at the Fenelon Elementary school. I continued to look out the window, silently working up the courage to get through another first day. Always patient, he didn't say anything, giving me the moment I needed. As soon as my eyes met his, he gave me a small smiled and then said, "all right Hails, you got this. Just think about the fact that this is our home now, you won't need to do this again."

I looked up and whispered, "promise?" He looked at me with sympathy and more than a little guilt and nodded his head.

The last thing I wanted to do was make him feel bad, he was doing his best. Which was more than I could say for my Mom. I had never met her and at this point, I really didn't want to.

Not wanting him to feel any worse, I gave him a smile and said, "thanks Dad! It's going to be okay. I already like it here." I knew I wasn't supposed to lie but Gran had told me once that, if a small lie was going to make someone else feel better, sometimes a lie was necessary.

I gave him another little smile, undid my seatbelt and leaned forward, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

I took a deep breath and got out of the car, walking into the school.

We had come by the week before school started, so I knew where my class was and had already met my teacher. It had been way easier walking through the empty halls with my hand in my dad's.

Now walking through by myself, I felt like an insect under a magnifying glass.

I understood why, but it didn't make it any easier. Fenelon was a small town. So, for all the kids getting ready to go into their classes, I stuck out like a sore thumb, a brand spanking new, sore thumb.

I sighed as I got into line, everyone around me was chatting, friendly and excited to start the school year. I don't know what it was but today was harder than it ever had been before.

Maybe because I knew my Dad kept his promises, so this was the last first day that I would have and it felt like today mattered more. Whatever it was, the pressure built up in my chest in a way that I hadn't ever felt before. I did not like it.

As I continued to stand there, I felt more and more out of place, I wasn't sure why I couldn't just open my mouth and introduce myself to someone but it felt the longer I stood there, the more scary it got.

The bell went and everyone trampled inside, but I couldn't seem to get my feet to move. A finger tapped me on the shoulder, then gestured in front of me and my gaze locked on the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen. They reminded me of the sky on a clear summer's day.

I took in his face, he had a wide smile and dark curly hair that was a little bit wild, and his smile took up his whole face "Are you ready to go in? You're new right? I'm Gabriel, what's your name?"

The pressure in my chest eased and I could feel it replaced with butterflies fluttering around in my stomach as I stared at this beautiful boy.

I still couldn't seem to find the words, so he grabbed my hand. "I'm Gabriel, come on, I'll show you where we put our stuff and help you find a desk."

He talked faster than I did, which I don't think I had ever come across before. He somehow ended up in front of me and tugged me through the door, not seeming to care that I hadn't said anything yet, or that he was having to drag me behind him. He was still talking a mile a minute and I finally managed to respond, whispering "thank you!"

His kind eyes met mine and he shrugged saying, "No problem, that's what friends do."

Just like that, I had my first friend in Fenelon Falls.

He helped me hang up my stuff and then took me over to a desk, pointing at his own and saying I could sit next to him.

It was interesting that my first friend here talked more than I did but I liked the sound of his voice and listening to him eased my nerves.

Our teacher Miss. David was clapping her hands to get everyone's attention and announced that she was going to put us in alphabetical order. He stopped what he was saying and said, "what's your last name?"

When I answered, "Edwards", he looked around the room and his eyes rested on a pretty little blonde with a scowl on her face.

He stared at me, then looked back at her, shook his head and muttered something to himself that sounded like, "NoPe, that won't work." Then he stood up, and walked up to Mrs. David, interrupting her as she listed off names.

Her eyes flashed with annoyance and I felt bad for him because for a moment, he looked like he was going to get in trouble. However he didn't seem bothered, instead he gave her a little smile and tugged on her hand. She bent down and then he whispered in her ear, pointing at me and the seats on both sides of me.

Her annoyance melted away and she looked at him with softened eyes and a pleased smile, saying, "ahhh I forgot we have a new student today."

She gave me one of those soft smiles and gave Gabriel's messy hair a rub as she sent him back to his seat, "Let me just change up my seating plan a little here, yup! Hailey sweetheart, Gabriel asked if you could sit in between him and Josie."

I watched as Ms. David kept organizing and noticed that I would have been right next to the scowling girl, Candy Daniels. She walked by with a huff and sat.

When she got to the last names that started with S, she said Gabriel Sawyer and pointed to his seat, then pointed for me Hailey Edwards and another little blonde, Josie Stevens was placed next to me. She looked at me with a huge smile and said, "Hey, my name is Josie Stevens, it's really nice to meet you."

I immediately liked her and couldn't help being extra thankful for my new friend, who made sure I was placed next to someone else equally as nice.

I looked over at him, noticing that he was laughing at something the boy next to him had said and it made his blue eyes even brighter.

I rubbed at my heart a bit, feeling way better but unsure as to why this boy made me feel all fluttery, I couldn't decide if I liked the feeling or not.