She walks out of the apartment, leaving devastation in my soul. Tornado like. I realize that I would never be hurt about something like this if I didn't feel so much about him. If I didn't fall in love with him.

Soon after, as I expected, he bursts through the front door, with panic in his eyes and sees me sitting on the chair at his kitchen island. I hate that he's upset but I can't control the feelings of betrayal that are boiling inside of me. I trust him so much now, I know the past is in the past, but all of my rationale is gone when I think of the night when he tempted me, lured me just so he could use me for a game. If I hate something more than being lied to it's being made a fool of and laughed at.

"Jordan, are you... "

"Your sister stopped by," I interrupt him with my cold and bitter words but I can't help it.

"I know. I found her in the cafe, I... she wasn't supposed to come here, I didn't think they would discharge her this morning. Did she... " He blows out a breath, resigned, uneasy. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry."

"Yes, for whatever she said to you. She is doing better, she really is. She told me she made a prank on you and I apologize for that, and I told her to personally say sorry to you too."

"Nico, stop..."

"I told her about you and me and she's totally cool about it, she doesn't have feelings for you or anything anymore so don't think she's doing these things to break us up or something. I promise she wasn't being mean, she's just being Sofia, it was a silly joke."

"A silly joke. Was it all a silly joke for you two?"

"It was. No, wait. I... No, no, no... That wasn't a joke. Jordan, we're not a joke..."

"I think I'm gonna go." I stand up.

"Wait. Wait! I'll tell you. I will tell you all about it, just don't go," he steps closer to me, his eyes firm.

"I clearly remember the day you promised no more secrets but he we are again." I fix him with a cold, unyielding glare. "Go on. Say it."

Silence falls, his mouth left hanging open but then he recovers and doesn't seem to stop once he's started, confessing everything in quick, hushed words that get jumbled up in his accent. His accent always gets thicker when he's drunk or nervous.

"Sofia and I always played this game. It was like a bet. We find a person and we dare each other to have sex with them. Separately obviously. It started as a joke when I accidentally hit on a guy that was her ex. When she found out she made a joke about it and dared me to sleep with him too. So since then, we would randomly sometimes find guys that we both liked and... yeah."

The blood drains from my face so fast it is a good thing I was gripping the worktop or I would have fainted for sure. Words like game, dare, joke, random play over and over in my head.

"And I was one of your games?"

He swallows audibly before rushing to explain. "She saw you first, yeah, and let me know that you're our target." He makes a quotation marks gesture with his hands for the word target. "But then I actually saw you, met you and..."

"And you won. Congratulations. What's the prize?"

Nico's mouth opens and closes like a fish in a bowl.

"I'm done with this circus," I let out a humorless laugh, scraping the chair on the floor as I move to get out of here.

"No, no, wait, let me explain."

"You just did. You just told me that the first time we kissed, the first time we spent the night together, the first time I really, really liked someone and that someone, by the way was a guy and in case you couldn't tell, it turned my world upside down—all that was some kind of sick bet you had with your sister! What. The. Fuck. Your sister and you sleep with the same people—on purpose! How spoiled and bored you rich kids are to have to make up stupid things like that? Oh, my god."

My muscles are taut, I run both of my hands through my hair in frustration and I feel like my heart is in my throat. I just had to let it all out even though I can't remember the last time I raised my voice at someone like this. That means it's high time for me to leave. He stumbles in the haste to get to me and he catches my elbow before I reach the door.

"I swear it wasn't like that with you. I swear. That's why I never wanted Sofia to be with you, I desperately tried to make you mine, just mine. The reason I left you that morning in Valencia is that I felt guilty for how it started. You have to believe me."

I try to push him away from me in order to go to the bedroom to get the rest of my clothes but he's strong, he pins me to the wall effectively caging me in.

"I'm so sorry, this is why I didn't say anything, I knew you would never forgive me. But things happened and you got under my skin and... fuck..." His emphatic tone, the genuine regret in his eyes is clear, "I want things from you I don't have the right to ask for and you want something I can never be. I'm not perfect. And yes I am spoiled and vain and so, so messed up but I never lied about how much I want to be with you."

My nostrils flare as his words and his body engulf me. He looks as upset as I feel, chest heaving rising and falling with each laboured breath. I let him hold me, as we stare at each other and I let the silence bury the words I don't want to speak.

"I can't do this right now," my voice is somehow almost level, even though my heart is slowly filling with misery. "I don't know how to be with you in the same room and stay sane. I need to go."

He goes completely still and finally pulls away, as tears well in his eyes. But he pulls himself together quickly.

"I'll go call you a taxi."

As I get dressed in his bedroom, I realise why he's calling a taxi for me. I almost forgot that he picked me up from my last football game and we've been in his apartment for three days—I want to laugh at the irony of it all, at myself almost making a home here, with him. We practically live together but now it feels like I've fallen into this unfamiliar world, and all I want is to go back to the old one, where things are simple.

I hear his voice in the other room calling for a car. Why does this feel like breaking up when that's not what I actually want? I walk towards the door and pause in the doorway.

"You might think all those things about yourself but I loved all of your imperfections, Nico. I've seen the real you. I've seen the good and the bad and I fell for you anyway. But I'm not sure if I can be with someone who can't comprehend that certain actions can have consequences for yourself and for others and that sometimes they're irreversible."

Nico's shoulders slump and I wish that I could just go back in and tell him that I would stay, that I could overlook everything. But I can't. So I say, "Take care of yourself, Nico."

And then I'm gone.