The Spanish winter is harsher and colder than I expected, but Nico is warm. I have not felt the warmth in winter like this before, not until he lifts his head from the pillow of my bed to meet my gaze, a rare sight of those summer freckles lining the swell of his cheeks as he smiles.

We rarely spend time in my apartment—it is too empty, cold and lacking any personal touch and comfort that Nico's place offers but today I had to pack for an early morning flight that will take me abroad for a week, so we agreed that he should come over instead. There's a random football match on my bedroom TV, but neither one of us is paying attention to it. We're scrolling on our phones, splayed out lazily on my bed with my suitcases packed next to it.

"Come here," I say while I'm switching my front camera on. "Think a week is going to be too long without seeing your face."

I jokingly cover his eyes with my palm while squishing his face to mine, hold up my phone and snap a picture. He laughs loudly and carefree. I smile too and take another selfie, this time both of our faces are bright and open.

He is smiling so much. The difference between Nico now and Nico when I first saw him in Madrid is astounding. He's more relaxed, less pessimistic. Sometimes I worry he'll go back to that bad headspace, that Sofia will call one day and tell him to leave me for whatever reason, and he will immediately listen to her. She has that power. I guess it's true when they say, once bitten twice shy.

"Hey," gentle fingers are reaching out and smoothing my apparently furrowed eyebrows, "What's going on in this pretty head of yours,m?"

I learnt to ignore when Nico calls me pretty, and just take it as a compliment.

"Nothing."

He hums, adjusting himself to inch closer, the movement drawing me into him until I'm leaning a cheek against his shoulder.

"Did you visit Sofia recently?" I have to ask. I am worried about her health too, I'm not a dick who wishes for her to stay in that place forever in order for me and Nico to live happily. I want her to be healthy and okay with what Nico and I are doing. And I don't want him drowning in guilt.

"I visit her every day, you know that," he replies, "Well except when I have to travel for work, but I'm avoiding those long trips now, it's usually a weekend and I'm back."

"Wait," he stills like he realizes that my question wasn't so random, " is that what got you worried?"

"I'm not... worried. Just... I don't know. Forget it."

"She knows, Jordan. I told her about us. I mean, she knows that I like you. She knows that she doesn't stand a chance. And she's fine with it. I didn't want to mention you in the beginning but the other day she asked if I have a boyfriend and I couldn't lie to her again. So I said yeah, and she immediately guessed it was you." He chuckles, shaking his head but I stopped listening to other words that are coming out of his mouth, focused only on that word, the b-word, "Told you we can sense stuff about each other, it's so weird sometimes, I swear. Anyway, she's happy for me, and..."

I press my forehead into his neck, sinking into his embrace even more. "So I'm your boyfriend now, huh?"

"I want you to be. If you're comfortable with that of course. I mean, it doesn't mean anything, it won't change much, we'll keep doing what we're doing regardless of what we call it but..."

"Nico. Shut up", I whisper while my fingers absentmindedly play with the gold necklace around his neck, "Don't you see that there's nothing that I'm uncomfortable with anymore when it comes to you?"

He laughs at the top of my head and kisses me there. I'm so gone for him.

"Nothing?" His fingertips are sneaking under the collar of my t-shirt and continue lower, brushing over the length of my spine. I'm dizzied by the magic that is his touch.

"Mhm... " I turn my head, tracing the tip of my nose along Nico's jaw, "I meant what I said."

His other hand slips under the waistband of my loose sweats. I'm always going commando in these grey joggers because I can see how Nico's mouth goes dry whenever he sees my dick bouncing around with the movement, the outline of it apparently draws more attention than if I was fully nude.

And now it's so easy for his fingers to find their way to my ass, and there... he's touching me there.

"Don't start this now... " I mumble but involuntarily push my ass more into his hand, "Fuck." 

"Why not?" He asks and I let out a breathless laugh.

"You know why. Important match tomorrow, I can't... ah... " For some reason, I still didn't let myself go all the way, even though it was something that I definitely thought about. I'm never complaining when sometimes Nico pushes his finger there when blowing me, it feels good and I tell him so, but I guess I wasn't ready for the real thing. Maybe subconsciously. Perhaps I'm afraid that I will like it too much or that our roles in bed would suddenly change and I'm pretty happy with our dynamics now. Nico seems happy too. But who knows? What if I don't like it, and Nico is disappointed.

"Ok. Not that then, " his tone is gentle and he moves from where he was lying almost under me, leaving me on my stomach. "But let me make you feel good. My hot shot superstar boyfriend needs to relax before a big match."

He teases and I laugh, letting him push down my sweats, past the back of my thighs, leaving me naked from the waist down. The proximity is nothing new but I'm shy all over because he's looking at the most private part of me, and I can't see anything.

"This fucking ass of yours..." he groans," and these thighs. I'm obsessed with your thighs, did I tell you that?"

"You tell me that all the time. Last week, you asked if I could choke you with my thighs."

"And you refused. You're no fun babe."

"I don't want to hurt you, it's ridiculous, the things that you say someti... fuuuck..." I jolt at his sudden nearness and feel the air sucked from my lungs. "N-Nico what..."

He's licking a long fat stripe from my taint up to my rim, his fingertips are rough and soft, all at once, spreading my asscheeks, sending a tingle of desire shooting through me.

I'm spread open and waiting. The need for him becomes almost unbearable but he doesn't lick me there anymore, he slowly trails feather-light kisses along my inner thighs. Nico is teasing me everywhere except the place that's practically gaping in desperation for him, and it's driving me mad.

"Nico... fuck, just... do that again."

Even though I can't see his face I just know there's a devious smirk on his lips and his sinful eyes are probably raking down my back and ass. Then he's kissing the entire journey to my hole and those fingers are grazing along my thighs and getting closer and closer to my ass again.

There, I feel the movement of his lips against the tight little core, kissing it softly before letting out his tongue and licking me. He kisses it again, just a peck and then flicks his tongue around it, my body jolts from the light touch and I let out a stream of curses. He is letting his tongue unfold and explore, sucking and nuzzling at the tender flesh until he starts lapping hungrily on my hole. I still couldn't believe this part, that he loves doing this, but there's something about this act that sends chills all over my body and I love it too.

He kisses me in an obscene way, desperate and hungry, and then snakes his tongue through the tight opening to lick the smooth channel inside. I grip the sheets tightly arching my back as I moan incoherently.

My breaths are coming faster and I'm grunting right in the pillow, my erection straining against the mattress, my entire groin, my balls my asshole, my thighs, the pit of my stomach throb harshly with the ache of arousal.

"Touch your cock, Jordan."

The rasp of his voice surprises me but I immediately obey, I lift my hips so I'm on my knees now and my right hand wraps around my dick and I start squeezing slowly, languidly.

I think about him being inside me, his big dick stretching me out instead of the tip of his tongue, and I pump harder, managing to get right at the edge in just a couple of draws. His mouth is relentless, tongue swirling and lashing. I'm lost to the madness of pleasure. A groan rattles from me as my balls seize up, expelling a soul-shattering climax from me.

I tremble under the wave of orgasm, totally overwhelmed by having Nico surrounding me. And he's climbing on top of me, he growls right in my ear as I feel him coming all over my ass. The sound of his pleasure and his hot breath travels down my spine to my dick, and somehow it reacts, twitching, again, and I know that if Nico really tried he could get it up again in no time.

"That was the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. You have to let me do that to you before every match, ok?" His lips move against the outer shell of my ear and then I am shaking with laughter, closing my eyes in pleasure and contentment and pure joy. Messy sheets and messy skin are long forgotten as Nico presses a kiss to the back of my neck grinning into my skin.