I woke up with swollen eyelids, my dried tears sealing them shut. I groaned, rubbing at the tender skin with a wince, and squinting through the brightness of my room.

Immediately, the events of last night hit me. My failed midterm, Everett at his party... I wanted to go right back to sleep and pretend none of that had ever happened.

Except, there was a knocking at my bedroom door, and I realised why I'd woken up in the first place.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to drown out the banging. I had a killer headache, and the noise wasn't helping whatsoever. Dehydration, probably. I must have cried a litre worth of water last night.

I felt like an idiot. I was never really one for crying, but when I was driven to tears, it became difficult to stop.

The banging continued, and I slapped my hands against my eyes, silently begging for whoever it was to leave me alone.

"Isla?" It was River's voice shouting as he knocked against the door. "Can you open the door? You've been in there all day. Are you alright?"

I frowned. All day? What time was it? I turned, looking for my phone where I normally left it, charging beside my bed. My hand met empty sheets and my eyes swept across the floor as I remembered that I'd flung it across the room in frustration last night.

With a huff of annoyance, I forced myself out of my bed and searched the carpet for my phone, finding it in the corner of the room. I turned it on, realising my phone was about to die. I had dozens of missed calls and unread messages from Everett, Sky and River.

I glanced at the time—almost two in the afternoon. I had missed my class. My stomach growled and I realised I hadn't eaten since lunch time yesterday. I'd missed dinner, crying in my room until night, and then missed breakfast when I didn't set an alarm this morning. I had been so exhausted from crying all evening that I'd slept right through the morning.

Worse, I had dozens of missed texts and calls from Everett, all the way from the time I'd hung up on him. I groaned, turning the phone off and leaning back against the wall. What was I supposed to say to him now? I probably ruined his entire night. And for what? A stupid midterm?

"Isla?" River repeated. I could hear him sigh through the door. "Can you just open the door, please? I heard you get up. I know you're in there. I'm kind of sick of knocking on this door."

I opened my mouth before shutting it again. I didn't feel like talking. I definitely didn't want him to see me like this. I knew my eyes were red and swollen, and I could imagine what a mess my hair was.

I might have fooled Everett over a video call but avoiding River's questions when I looked like this would be borderline impossible.

"Isla." His voice was full of complaint now. He banged against the door again, his knocks becoming lazy and slow. "You'd better open the door, or I'm going to start charging you rent."

I snorted. He could threaten me all he wanted but underneath that evil exterior, he secretly loved me.

"Isla," he whinged again. I pursed my lips. No matter how much he complained, I wasn't in the mood for talking. All I wanted was to be left alone to sulk in my bed. "Alright, that's it. I'm going to call Everett and make him drag you out of there."

That got my attention.

I bolted up, pulling the door open. "Please don't call him."

River's eyes widened as they flickered from my face to my hair, to my clothes, then the room behind me. His brow creased in a deep frown.

"What the hell, Isla?"

I ignored him. "I don't want Everett to worry. Please don't call him."

"I won't. I wasn't going to. I just wanted you to open the door," he said, shaking his head. "What happened? Are you okay?"

I sighed, my shoulders sagging, and I turned back to my bed, flopping onto my mattress. I didn't have the energy to deal with anything today. I was still reeling from last night—from everything. My midterm. My assignments. Everett...

I wanted to go right back to sleep and stay there until everything vanished.

I wanted to vanish.

"Isla." The mattress dipped as River sat beside me. His hand rested awkwardly on my back. "Don't make me comfort you because you know I'm not going to do it well."

I laughed drily, turning my head to meet his eyes. "I hate university," I said.

"Who likes it?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. I hate it. Like, would this all be a waste if I just dropped out right now?"

River's expression soured. He sighed, moving closer to nudge my shoulder. "Stop talking like that. You don't actually want to drop out. You've been working towards this your whole life. What happened that's got you so torn up about university?"

"I just—" I huffed, turning so that I lay on my back. "Promise not to laugh?"

"I would, but I couldn't lie to you like that, Monroe."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Just promise."

"Alright, jeez. I get it. I will... do my best to sympathise with you."

It was the best I was going to get. I sighed, covering my face with my hands. I had to force the words out, but I figured it was like ripping a Band-aid off.

"I failed my midterm."

It was embarrassing to admit. I'd never failed anything before. In high school, I'd excelled in all my assessments, even the ones I didn't study for. But for this? I'd studied for days. Weeks. And it hadn't been enough. I'd never be enough.

River was silent for a minute before he spoke. "That's it?"

I peeked through my fingers. "What do you mean that's it?"

"You failed a mid-term. So what? What was it worth, ten percent?"

"More like forty."

He whistled lowly. "Alright, now I'm starting to see why you're so upset. What did Everett say?"

I frowned. "He didn't say anything."

"Wow, he's worse at comforting than I am."

"No, he didn't answer his phone. Well, I mean, he did answer, but he was at a party, and I didn't want to interrupt, so..."

"Isla..."

"I'm just—I'm so lonely." My eyes watered and I squeezed them shut, embarrassed to be seen like this in front of River. "I miss Everett so much, and it's like I can never see him or speak to him and—I don't know. I wish... I don't even know what I wish. Everything is impossible. There's just no solution. If he made more time for me, I'd feel guilty for cutting into his sleep, or his studying, or his partying. If he visited, I'd feel bad for him wasting his money on me. There's just nothing we can do at this point. I can't even wish anymore."

The mattress creaked and River was lying beside me, pulling me into his arms. I sobbed, letting him hug me, letting him wrap his arms around me as my tears stained his shirt and my shoulders shook.

"I don't know what I'm doing here anymore," I cried. "Nothing's going right."

River rubbed my arms, squeezing me tight. "I know," he muttered. "I know. It sucks. All of this sucks, but you can't just give up on everything. What happened to the girl that literally pined over Austin for, like, a decade?"

I scoffed. "That was stupid."

"It wasn't stupid, it was just you. You're not the type to give up on something so easily. I mean, look at you. You moved all the way to Sydney just to go to university. You worked your arse off at the Shack for years, saving up money for this." His arms tightened around me, and he rested his chin on my head. "You can't just give up now."

"I don't know," I murmured. I leaned into him, letting him hug me tighter.

My phone was still on the floor across the room, my unread messages and missed phone calls weighing on me. Everything felt heavy. Though he remained silent, River's hands rubbed my back, his form of quiet comfort.

"I don't know," I repeated. "I don't know anything anymore."

"That's okay," River said, his voice almost a whisper. "It'll be okay."

"Will it?"

"What, you think I'm a liar?"

I let out a watery laugh. Even without looking at him, I could tell he was smiling. I squeezed him tighter, letting him gather me against his chest. "Thanks, River."

His grip tightened around me, and I closed my eyes against his chest. With my eyes shut, I could almost pretend it was Everett. Except, River didn't smell like him. His arms weren't as big as Everett's. His chest was too bony. It only made me feel worse, remembering what wasn't here.

But if I closed my eyes and I really tried, I could almost pretend. Just for a second.

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔

I dreamt of my high school graduation. I knew it was a dream immediately because that was the only place that I saw Everett these days.

Except it wasn't a dream. It was a memory from last September.

Everett had visited me. He'd spent his summer working to make extra cash and, in his first week of college, he flew to Australia to attend my graduation ceremony.

In my dream—my memory—I was lying next to him. When he visited Shellside Bay, he usually stayed at Clemente House with his grandmother, but that night, we snuck him into my room and my mum kindly pretended not to notice.

The light of dawn slanted over his face as we faced each other. I wondered how long he'd been awake. I had half-expected him to leave during the night, to vanish as he always did.

He lifted a hand, his finger sliding down my cheek like a whisper of his breath.

"You're a really heavy sleeper, you know?" he muttered.

"Only when you're here," I whispered back. His lips twitched as he continued drawing patterns across my cheek.

"Your eyes are so swollen," he muttered. His finger reached my eye, and he traced the skin there. It stung with his touch and I remembered how much I'd cried that night, sobbing into his chest as he held me.

"Do you have to leave?" I replied, my voice croaky from both sleep and last night's crying.

He pursed his lips. Neither of us would like his answer.

"I can't miss my first week of college," he said.

"But you just got here. You're still jetlagged. Your flights—it's not worth it to go back yet."

There was no point arguing. He'd heard all of my excuses last night, my reasons for him to stay longer. There was no changing his mind.

I knew there was no changing his mind. I remembered the feeling of him leaving, watching him walk away into the airport, and yet, there in my dream, I continued to beg. I continued to hope.

He released a hard breath, his hand moving to my hair as he pulled me into his chest.

"I'm sorry, Isla," he said. "I can't. I have to leave."

"You don't have to," I replied. I looked up at him with teary eyes. "You can stay. You can—You can go to college here. In Australia. In Sydney!"

"I can't do that."

"Yes, you can! You can. You can stay with me and River! He's in Sydney right now, you can go and drive up there tonight. You just need to—"

"I can't," he interrupted with a soft murmur. He stroked my hair, looking away. "I'd need a visa first. I'd need to talk to my dad and my grandma. I'd need to pack and—and visit my mother to say goodbye—"

"We'll do all that!" I said quickly. "And then you can come here. Just take a few months off from uni. Start at the same time as me."

"Isla, I can't afford it right now."

"I'll help you. How much is it? Ten thousand a semester?"

"Fifty thousand a year," he replied.

My mouth snapped shut. Fifty thousand a year... that was more than my entire degree would cost, in total.

"And that's just for the subjects," Everett continued. "Not including my student services fees or living expenses, and that's all assuming I pass all the subjects on my first go."

"You will," I said immediately. "And you can... you can get a scholarship. Get a loan. We'll figure it out."

"I already did," he said. "I applied for every fucking scholarship under the sun. None of them accepted me. I have no credit. Who's going to give me a personal loan for two hundred thousand dollars? My dad... he's not going to pay for me to study halfway across the world. He was very clear when he said that it was NYU or nothing. I just—I've thought of all this a million times, Isla."

"And there's nothing?"

My voice sounded so small in my memory. Had it really been like that?

He shook his head. His hand cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking just beneath my eye, still red from crying.

"We'll be okay, Isla. It'll be no different from these past few months, yeah? We can get through it."

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔

When I woke up, River's arms were still tight around me.

I sighed, leaning further into his hug. My eyes stung as they rubbed against his hoodie. They were already sore and red when I first woke up but crying even more after that—I could imagine how swollen and puffy they must have been at this point.

No wonder I had that dream.

His arms squeezed me, alerting me to the fact that he was awake, and I rested my face against his chest as my body slowly woke up. I was a little embarrassed that I'd fallen asleep from crying in River's arms, but I had to admit that I was feeling better after letting it out. I hadn't realised how lonely I'd been, how badly I'd needed a hug.

What time was it? My eyes strained open against his hoodie. It was still light outside, meaning it was probably still—I froze.

His hoodie rubbed against my cheek.

River wasn't wearing a hoodie when I fell asleep.

His arms were tight around me.

River's arms didn't feel like that. River never hugged me like this, with his arms around my waist, his hands settled on my lower back.

I inhaled. River didn't smell like this.

I bolted upright, my head colliding with his chin in the process. He cried out in pain, hands flying to his chin, my own head throbbing from it, but I didn't care. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"Everett?"

"Isla," he replied simply. "You just beat the shit out of my chin."

"What are you doing here? Did I just manifest you? Am I still dreaming?" I sputtered. My eyes fell to the red spot on his chin, and I frowned, reaching for it. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," he said, his fingers resting over mine. He met my gaze and sent me a tiny smile. "You're a really heavy sleeper, you know?"

"You just said that."

"What?" He smiled incredulously at me.

"In my dreams. I was dreaming of my graduation night."

His smile slipped slightly, his eyes darting between my own, but he then pulled a smirk on and said, "Of course, you were dreaming of me."

"Don't be so arrogant," I scolded. "Why are you here? Did—Oh, God. Did River call?"

"Yes." I frowned, ready to kill River, but Everett continued. "And no. By the time he called me, I was already in my layover, on my way here."

"What?"

"He called me a few hours ago, right before I boarded my last flight."

"You were already coming to Sydney? For what?"

"For you, idiot. You called me and hung up so quickly, and then you weren't replying to any of my texts or calls. I was freaking out, Isla."

"Oh." My heart sunk. I turned away from him. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I didn't mean to. When I saw you were at a party, I just—I felt bad for interrupting, and I mean, I wasn't calling for any major reason—"

"Isla," he cut me off. He pulled me closer. "Don't apologise. I was only at that party because my friends dragged me there. After you told me to go on that call, they took it as permanent permission to go to every party ever. I've had to come up with a million other excuses to avoid them. And, I mean, look at you, Isla. It doesn't matter what the reason is, if it makes you cry this much, it's reason enough to call me. I'm your boyfriend."

"I know," I muttered. "I just—I saw your story and then you lied to me. I felt like—it was like you didn't want to talk."

"Isla." His voice was so quiet, almost a whisper, and I could hear his heart shatter in the way he said my name. "I'm so sorry. I didn't—I wasn't lying because I didn't want to talk, it was more like the opposite. I just felt guilty. I was at a party, and you were calling me—I didn't want you to think you were interrupting me."

"You mean—" I released a shaky breath, an almost-laugh. "You mean, I wasn't?"

"Of course not." He ran a hand over my hair, frowning. "You could never. Especially when you feel like this. I mean—what was it anyway? The reason?"

"It's... It's stupid," I said, suddenly embarrassed again. "I just—I failed my midterm."

"You failed your midterm?" He scanned my face. "Is that all you were upset about?"

"Yes," I said. I paused. "At first."

"But then?"

I sighed. I'd been a blubbering mess when River found me in this room, sputtering everything on my mind in between sobs. But now—I sat up, straightening my back to meet Everett's eyes.

"I guess... I've been lonely," I said. "It's like—uni has been so much harder than I thought. I haven't made many friends, and the work is so much harder than I'm used to, and now, after all my hard work, I still managed to fail. And then River's been distant. I mean, everyone's been distant and busy with their own things, but with both of us busy with uni now, I miss you. I miss you so much, and I can't even tell you without the guilt eating me alive."

"Guilt?" he echoed.

"Guilt about making you worry. About making you feel guilty for not being here for me. About making you miss out on college life because of me."

"Isla," he muttered. He shook his head and ran a hand over his face before meeting my gaze again. "I'm not... Is that what you've been thinking all this time?"

I nodded. "It's like... I'll feel the urge to call you or text you but then I'll remember that you're busy, or sleeping, or whatever, and I just—I feel guilty. I can't—I don't want to burden you with anything else."

He sat up at that, leaning forward and taking my face in his hands as he looked me directly in the eyes.

"Isla," he said. "Listen to me. You are never a burden on me. I don't care if you tell me about a dog you passed on the street, if I'm the one you thought of telling, then I want to hear it. If I just get to hear your voice or see a notification on my phone from you, my day is already ten times better. I would—you know I would do anything to stay here with you instead. I think about you every second we're apart. Every second we're together."

"I just—we're both in uni now. I don't want to cut into your sleep, or make you miss out on parties. I don't want to interrupt."

"Interrupt?" he scoffed. He shook his head, smiling at me. "Isla, I'll take you anyway I can get you. A second. A summer. A text. I want you. Wholly and completely. You."

I couldn't help the smile that grew across my face, remembering the same words he'd told me a year ago, when he'd left me the first time.

"You're such a dork."

He laughed, pulling me into a hug. His head settled in the crook of my neck and he pecked the skin there, causing me to squeal and giggle. His arms locked around my waist, preventing me from squirming away. Instead, he held me closer, kissing my neck loudly, all the way up to my jaw before capturing my lips.

I smiled into the kiss; my eyes fluttering shut. His tongue swiped over my lip hungrily, and I realised I hadn't kissed him in weeks—hadn't seen him, held him, touched him in weeks.

But before he could deepen the kiss, I jumped away, rolling across the mattress and out of bed.

"Stay away from me!" I squealed.

Everett frowned, crawling across the bed towards me. "Why?"

"I haven't brushed my teeth." My voice lowered. "Or... shaved in a while."

"Shaved?" He raised his brow, a smirk beginning to pull at the corner of his lips. He sat at the edge of the bed in front of me. "You think a bit of hair is going to stop me from kissing my girlfriend after weeks without her?"

"Kissing? No. But, other things..."

He laughed, grabbing the hem of my shirt and tugging me closer until I stood between his legs. "What other things are you suggesting?" he asked.

"I have a few ideas."

His fingers skimmed beneath the material, drawing a line of heat across from my hips to my lower belly, just above the drawstring to my shorts. He paused there and tugged on the elastic. "Like what?"

"Like," I started, smirking down at him. His fingertips grazed my skin, his eyes wandering where they touched. I let him wonder for a moment before stepping back. "Brushing my teeth for starters."

"Isla!" he complained.

I threw him a grin over my shoulder as I made my way into the bathroom. "How long are you staying?"

"As long as I want," he replied.

"Well then." I spun, smiling as I faced him. "We'll have plenty of time for all my ideas after my shower."

I could hear him groan through the closed door.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

Ngl I don't love this chapter but I'll edit it someday in the future -- I hope you guys love it though! Finally we have a little Isla and Everett reunion! Let me know your thoughts!!

Next time: Isla and Everett