The next morning, I sat at the kitchen counter, picking apart an old croissant while revising my notes. In high school, revising notes was simple. I'd re-read my old notes, flick through a textbook, answer some questions. Sure, there'd be topics I didn't understand but a few hours of studying normally sorted that out.

Now that I was in university, revising notes only reminded me what I didn't know—which was everything. It felt like I was getting nowhere. It seemed like I'd just filled pages and pages with nonsense; words that blurred together for me, and no one else.

Sighing, I flicked to the next page of my lab manual, frowning at yet another page that I barely understood.

Behind me, a door clicked.

"Morning, Isla."

"Moning, Riv—" I cut myself off, realising it hadn't been River's voice that spoke. I spun, my eyes widening to find Connor walking out of River's room.

Shirtless.

My face must have shown the pure shock I was feeling because Connor smirked, leaning against the back of the couch as he pulled a shirt over his head—the same one he'd worn yesterday.

"Connor," I corrected myself after a moment. "Morning."

River was out next, except unlike Connor, he was fully clothed.

"Don't go walking around shirtless like you own the place," River scolded. He smacked Connor's chest with a wrinkled shirt and Connor laughed, grabbing it from him.

"Oh, so Alistair can, but I can't?" He cocked his head before leaning towards River, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'll do what I want."

River pushed him away, fleeing to the other end of the kitchen and filling the kettle. He turned towards the sink, yet I could still see the pink at the top of his ears. Whatever had happened last night—and I was pretty sure I could guess what that whatever was—it had really knocked River down a peg.

He'd gone from his arrogant, confident self into a blushing mess overnight. Only Connor could ever do that to him.

Beside me, Connor pulled the shirt over his head. He yawned, mussing up his hair and glancing over my shoulder at my notes.

"What the fuck is an osmosis?" he muttered.

"You tell me," I replied with a groan. I leaned forward until my head was resting on the counter and Connor laughed, reaching over to ruffle my hair this time.

"I take it uni isn't going so well?" he asked.

"I don't understand anything," I mumbled, my face smushed against the table. "I hate not knowing things."

"It'll come to you," he said easily. "It always does. You were my tutor for a reason."

"We were nine and you didn't know your two times tables," I droned. "It was hardly tutoring."

"Yeah, but now I know that two times twelve is twenty-six."

"It's literally not."

"Twenty-five?"

"One more."

"Twenty-four?"

"Got it."

"See!" he exclaimed, grinning. "I never would have gotten that without you!"

I couldn't help but laugh, sitting back up to match Connor's smile. "Thanks for the confidence boost, Connor."

"Was it a confidence boost?" River's sarcastic voice came from the kitchen.

"At least I tried," Connor replied. Judging by the expression on his face, I could only guess that River had sent him some kind of sour look. He turned back to me, his smile fading.

"Sorry I can't stick around," he said. "I didn't tell work that I was leaving, and I need to get back before my dad finds out."

"That's okay." It was. I understood why he needed to leave. But for the five minutes he'd been here, things almost felt normal. Except now he was leaving again. I didn't want him to leave, but I knew I couldn't stop him. Not even River could get in the way of Connor's responsibilities. I knew that feeling more than anyone.

"I'll come again soon, and we can hang out more, yeah?"

I nodded and he grinned widely, leaning down to pull me into a tight bear hug. I let him take me into his large arms, hold me against his chest. For a moment, I pretended we were children again, saying goodbye on the warm sands of Shellside Bay before our next stupid adventure in the morning. Before he pulled away, he pressed a quick kiss to my forehead.

"You'll be great," he whispered.

I nodded again, letting his words sink into my skin, through to my heart. I needed him to be right. He smiled one last time before stepping past me to reach River at the kitchen. He pulled him into a brief hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek before squeezing his hand.

"I'll call," he promised.

And just like that, he was gone.

The door shut behind him with a quiet click and the room fell into silence. River stood with his back turned to me, putting all his attention and effort into pouring hot water into a mug.

I stared at his back, taking in the redness of his ears, the edges of a hickey poking out of his shirt collar, the wrinkles that zigzagged across the back of his clothes.

Slowly, a grin spread across my face. I leaned onto my elbows, lifting my brow at his silence.

"So," I started. "What was that all about?"

His body tensed and he turned, shooting me a glare. "Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, my God!" I squealed, rounding the table to stand beside him. "What the hell, River? I didn't even know you guys kissed—did you guys... sleep together?"

"Yes, Isla. We slept together. Just slept. We didn't do anything more," he replied lowly. He spoke with annoyance thick in his voice, but his face betrayed him, and his lips twitched into a small smile. He turned away from me, carrying his mug to another counter, hiding his face from me—hiding his growing smile. "We kissed the summer Everett came to Shellside Bay."

I almost choked on his words. "What?"

"We kissed."

I sighed at his nonchalance. "I heard that part, River. When? How? Details? I didn't even know." I followed him across the kitchen, forcing him to face me.

He groaned, rolling his eyes. "Do we have to talk about it?"

"Yes, River! We have to talk about it! It's like—when did you stop telling me these things?"

"I was just—" he sighed loudly. "I was embarrassed, okay? It was after that bonfire party, before you found us hungover at the Shack. I was jealous and too drunk to hide it, and Connor—I don't know. He just kissed me."

"Holy shit," I muttered. I remembered that night. I'd left early. How had I not noticed the next morning? Or the rest of the summer? "And you kissed him back?"

River nodded. Then, quietly, he added, "It was my first kiss."

"Your first? So, then Alistair..."

"Was my second," he filled in. "We went to school together so when I came back after that summer... I don't know. I kept thinking about Connor. And then I kept thinking about all of Connor's girlfriends and flings, and I kept imagining him in Shellside Bay without me. We were never serious, but Alistair was there, and so was I. It just happened."

I frowned, processing his words. So much had happened between River and Connor, and with River in Sydney, by himself. I hadn't even realised. I'd never even asked. River hated talking about his life in Sydney, but it was suddenly occurring to me that it was a whole other life—a whole other River that I didn't know about.

"So, what now?" I asked after a pause. "Connor's going back to Shellside Bay."

He nodded. "We talked it all out. He promised to reply to my texts for once. We're not dating or anything." He paused, eyeing me carefully. "We decided long distance would be too much."

The words struck me hard. Shellside Bay was only a few hours away from Sydney, I'd never even thought of it as long distance.

"Sorry," River said immediately. "I don't mean that it's too much. I'm sure you and Everett—"

"No," I interrupted. "You're right. It is too much."

River said nothing and I laughed, shaking my head at how tense the room had become, all from the mention of two words—long distance.

"It's hard enough not being able to see him when you want, you know?" I said, "But then seeing how guilty he feels about it, hearing the sadness in his voice on the phone... I feel like I can't even complain about things because I can tell he's sad that he can't be here for me. And I know he's doing the same to me. I know he's keeping it all in. I just wish... I don't know." I let out a bitter laugh. "It's almost like the messed-up time zones are the easy part."

"I'm sorry, Isla," he said. He stepped forward, pulling me into a hug. I squeezed him back before we pulled apart.

"It's fine. I'm getting used to it."

"You shouldn't have to. Neither of you deserve it."

"What can you do?" I smiled at him, squeezing his shoulder. "I've missed you, River. You've been so distant since we moved to Sydney. I'm glad Connor came here. You seem... different now. A bit more like the River I knew before."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. I'd never heard River apologise so many times before, especially with no sarcasm laced in his words. "I hate it here. This place reminds me of my parents and then with Connor on top of all that—I was in a shitty mood. I shouldn't have ditched you like that."

"It's fine," I said. I jumped onto him, squeezing him in a quick hug again. "Just don't do it again or I'm moving out."

"Like you can afford rent elsewhere."

I raised a brow at him. "I'm sure I can find another rich friend to leech off of."

"Go ahead and try. You'll come crawling right back to this apartment."

I laughed, rolling my eyes. He was right. This apartment was pretty unbeatable. Never in my life had I imagined living in a luxury apartment in the heart of the city, but here I was. Sometimes I wondered what my dad would have thought about it all.

The thought made River's words hit me again and I frowned. I didn't know his situation with his parents, but if living in his family apartment put him into such a bad mood, I knew it had to be bad. River was always appearing at Shellside Bay in the middle of the school term, escaping something here in Sydney, but he'd never told us about it. He never spoke about it.

I reached out, taking his hand. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Oh, please. Don't go getting all sappy on me, Monroe," he teased, ripping his hand away from me and taking his mug, rounding the kitchen table. He paused, meeting my eye with a small smile. "I know. Thanks, Isla. Same goes to you, yeah?"

I nodded and he turned back around.

"You tell anyone about this talk, you're dead."

I laughed, watching as he started walking back to his room. "Love you, River!"

"Whatever!" he called back, and with a slam, his bedroom door was shut.

Smiling to myself, I moved back to my seat where my lab manual and half-eaten croissant sat waiting for me. Nothing had really changed in this apartment, but it was feeling a whole lot warmer than it had felt last night.

I could suddenly envision the next two years and a bit that I'd be spending in this place.

My eyes flickered to my phone, and I unlocked it, instinctively pulling up Everett's messages with the urge to tell him everything I'd discovered.

River could threaten me all he wanted, but one thing he'd learned in the past year was that his secrets with me were also Everett's by extension.

I grinned at the screen; my fingers ready to type out every thought that had slipped into my mind. Except, I'd sent a barrage of messages last night, ranging from 'Have fun at your party!' to an entire ramble about the noises I could hear between River and Connor in the living room. And yet, the messages sat there, unread, not replied to.

I frowned, staring at them as if their read status would change any second.

When they didn't, I clicked my phone off, placing it face down on the counter before dragging my lab manual over it, covering it completely from my sight.

River had been right with what he'd said, no matter how hard he tried to take it back, no matter how hard I tried to avoid saying it—thinking it.

It was too much.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

Sorry a bit of a shorter chapter, but I hope you liked it! We're starting to reach the end, with only about 10 chapters left so let me know your predictions? hopes? worries?

Next time: midterm results come out!