I kept wondering what the fuck it meant that Dres was 'sending someone'. Why didn't he just come himself? Or was he that afraid of dying? Was he that afraid of me? I could barely move without my crutch. I didn't particularly strike fear in anyone. I hadn't before either, like let's be honest. I wasn't tall or muscley like River and Cal. I wasn't even cool like Abel and Creek and Fred. I was just flobbing about until my wolf could help me. Which was nice, I did have a really great wolf. Even if he still wanted to eat every rabbit we came across whenever we were out running. I could be without having to pick out bones of my hair in the morning after a shift. Genuinely could be without a lot of things in life right now. Could be without the stress. Could be without the pain. I wanted to go back to school. I missed the classes. I missed getting critiques from my peers and teachers – and that's when I knew I needed to go back soon. I was lucky to be able to do some work from home and not having to redo the semester, so I'd still be in the same year as Fred, which meant the world to me.

I had been painting a lot. I had so many pieces from the wolf's perspective. I didn't know what to do with them, but I just found it really calming to do them. Abel loved them and had some of them framed, so now they hung around the house too. It was cute how into my paintings he always got. It was nice to have a fan at home, always rooting for me. I tried to be a fan of his too, like reading his papers and do some line editing on them, but honestly, I couldn't contribute shit besides setting a few commas and fixing a typo here and there. It was still nice to be able to at least help a little.

"You've been so focused lately," Abel murmured from behind me, gently encircling me in his arms.

"Yeah," I breathed and tipped my head up, kissing his chin.

"Have you heard more from Dres?"

I shook my head and grabbed my rag, drying off my hands before turning around, facing Abel. "Nothing. I don't know what to make of it all, to be honest."

"Maybe he just said it to fuck with you." Abel shrugged a little and put his hands on my shoulders. "What do the others think?"

"Tasha is not convinced. Samuel thinks whatever I wanna do is the best thing, and River thinks we should just go and get a gun and shoot Dres in the head."

Abel snorted. "It would solve a lot of things."

I groaned and leaned forward, smooshing my face against his stomach. Abel chuckled and ran his hands through my hair.

"You know, maybe it's not everyone around you who're wrong when it comes to these kinds of things. I say this with all the love in the world, you know that," he stopped, taking a deep breath. "But you've not grown up in this society. You've grown up human. With human morals. And as much as I love that about you, and how you can challenge my culture and make me see things from other perspectives... I would wish you'd be open to do the same."

I pulled back, looking up at him. "Okay, but we're talking about killing someone? Like, I feel like I'm going mad here."

"It's not just about killing someone, Gael. And it's not like I'm totally cold about it. I don't go out and kill someone just to drink their blood either. I don't like the idea of killing someone. No one does. It's not a fun thing for any of us. But," he stopped again and breathed out. He was so nervous.

I took his hands in mine, just to make him a little calmer.

"He hurt you. Beyond repair," he whispered and squeezed my hands. "That is unforgiveable. I need justice."

"And killing Dres is justice?"

"Yes. It is." Abel was so prompt in his reply. It was a little unexpected.

I nodded a little. "I just... I feel like I should be better and it's hard to be better when... I also... Want him dead." I whispered the last part. It was actually really shameful for me to admit, that I had had those thoughts. I felt dirty and disgusting. Like the worst person in the world.

"It's just not the same anymore, Gael. It just isn't. You're one of us now. And we don't really have the same need to crush our natural urges."

"But these urges don't feel natural to me..." I muttered.

"Maybe that's something to explore then. You're not human anymore, Gael. Time to embrace that." He shrugged and took a step back, glancing at the painting. "You don't even paint as a human anymore."

I looked back at the painting too. He was right. I wasn't human. I could try and pretend we were entirely normal and nothing extraordinary was about us, but fact of the matter was my boyfriend was an immortal vampire and I was a werewolf. My friends weren't normal either. None of this was bloody normal, and I had been clinging so hard to normalcy because I still hadn't properly wrapped my brain around the fact that... I was a supernatural being and so were all of my friends. We were all simply masquerading amongst the humans. But we were not them.