He stares at his reflection in the golden mirror of his bathroom. At the black hair and deep blue eyes that seem to enchant so many girls. At the muscled pale skin that allowed him almost every girl he wanted.

Almost every girl. But never her. She was always untouched. Because she is his best friend and he would rather has her as a friend than as nothing.

And as he couldn't have her, he searched for a girl similar to her. The same eyes, the same hair colour, the same way of smiling. But the girl was never her, the girl was never good enough. And he found an excuse and broke up with her.

Constance was a mistake, a girl like no other, the perfect girlfriend. He couldn't complain about anything. But she wasn't perfect enough. She wasn't Layla. And he broke up with her. But this time he hadn't an excuse, so he gave no excuse.

And then, today, Layla asked him why. And he couldn't control himself anymore. Feeling those beautiful brown eyes piercing his ones, seeing her beautiful oval face framed with red hair whose expression asked nothing more than an honest answer, he couldn't control himself. What he always wanted to confess escaped his lips. Layla discovered about his feelings.

Her surprised face was expected, her brown eyes wide open, her mouth opened. The surprise was so obvious that he would have laughed if the matter wasn't so serious.

And then she asked time. Time to think because after everything he did, she didn't know if she could trust him as a boyfriend. Because she would rather have him as a best friend than destroy their relationship forever trying to have him as a boyfriend.

And she has all the right of thinking that way. He was always an asshole, taking advantage of the girls that liked him, playing with their feelings, all of it because he couldn't have who he wanted, he couldn't have Layla.

He focus in his reflection again, the eyes where the tears shine, the expression full of sadness. At least, she will still be his best friend even if she refuses to go out. But is it enough? After he told her what he felt, is it enough?

He closes his eyes, knowing the answer, knowing how much it hurts him. No, it is not enough.

He gets out of the bathroom, only a towel hiding his body. He wears a boxers and gets out of his room, silently opening the door of his sister's room to check if she is okay. She seems okay, her black hair all over the pillow, her face peaceful while she sleeps. His little sister, pure and innocent.

"I am in my room, if you need me," he whispers, closing the door. He knows she doesn't listen to him right now. He knows she knows that. He knows she will come when she needs. But after so many times training to keep routines so he doesn't bother Alyssa, he can't prevent himself from saying it out every night. It's a routine and a promise. A promise he made many time. He will always be here to his sister.

He returns to his bedroom, takes a pill and lies down on the bed, grabbing his phone. Friend is not enough. It never was. Loved you with all my heart. Goodbye forever. He send it to Layla, knowing it is not his type of message but unable to stop himself. Friend is not enough. If she can't be his girlfriend, he can't support to have her in his life anymore, seeing her become even more beautiful as time passes, seeing her falling in love for someone else.

He can't, he will not. She has more friends, she will be okay. And he... He will deal with it, learn to live without her. He has no other choice. Oblige Layla to be with him as a friend, feeling uncomfortable because of his feelings is not a choice. Will never be.

Loved you, Layla, he thinks, and I still do. But I can't be in your life, oblige you to live knowing I love you and that you don't feel the same way. But I hope you find someone that deserves you, someone good enough.

He was used to those thoughts, thoughts he has as if he was talking with Layla, private talks that will never become more than that, that will never be said out loud.

The pill is working, he can feel the long and dark arms of the sleep pulling him into the darkness. And he embraces it, he embraces that darkness that will allow him to stop those thoughts, that will give them some hours of peace.

Before he falls asleep, his last thought is the same as always. Love you, Layla.