Bold = Shane

Italics = Cleo

"Hola."

"What in the hell is wrong with you?"

"Are you on your period or something?"

"No. I am not on my period."

"Then why do you sound so stressed out?"

"Because you called me in the middle of a physics test."

"Not my problem that you didn't have your phone on silent."

"It was on silent."

"Then why did you pick up?"

"Because I saw my screen light up with your contact number in my bag."

"Aw... Princess you are too sweet. You really miss me that much?"

"No. "

"Why else would you pick up?"

"I thought you were about to..."

"About to what?"

"You know..."

"Go to the toilet."

"I thought you were about to kill yourself,  you dumb-ass."

"..."

"That's damn right. You better be bloody speechless. Do you have any idea how worried I was? Do you have any idea what I would have done if you really had killed yourself? How would you like to live the rest of your life knowing that there's something that you could have done to stop someone from dying?"

"You...you care whether I live or die?"

"Not you in particular... it's just...human life is too precious to just take for granted like that. You don't get a second shot. Once it's gone it's...it's really gone..."

"Have you been reading the Bible recently?"

"..."

"Besides, this it isn't my last shot. Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"No, and I have a feeling that you don't either."

"You're right, I don't, but just think about it for a second."

"Why?"

"Because it will be fun."

"You have a strange definition of fun."

"Not a social person?"

"I like to pretend to be."

"Snail or dung beetle?"

"Huh?"

"Snail or dung beetle?"

"Repeating it won't make it any less of a stupid, meaningless, question Lost Boy."

"Would you prefer to be reincarnated as a snail or a dung beetle?"

"Why such strange options?"

"Because the better you do in this life the better reincarnation you get a-"

"You make it sound like a vending machine."

"Let me finish Super-girl."

"..."

"As I was saying, the better you do in this life the better reincarnation you get and I have a feeling that we both aren't exactly Saints."

"Why, what have you done? Killed a puppy?"

"Not a puppy."

"Wait. Hold up mister. What do you mean by 'not a puppy'. Have you killed something else before?"

"Yup. A snail."

"What if you get reincarnated as a snail?"

"Then I'll have to form a snail rebellion."

"Your mind works in a peculiar way."

"That's why I'm trying to kill it."

"I have a feeling you're going to hang up on me."

"Why do you think that?"

"Those seem like very good words to end a call with."

"Smart."

"You were going to hang up?"

"I was and I still am right n-"

"Don't die."

"I won't. Yet. I never break a promise. I still have 29 days left... congratulations by the way."

"For what?"

"For succeeding in being a successful suicide helpline. You've managed to make me smile."

"How, by insulting you?"

"Yeah actually. It's been a while since anyone has done anything but respect me. It's kind of refreshing."

"What are you, the royal crown Prince of England?"

"Something close to that."

"You're serious?"

"No. Possibly. Maybe. Depends which way you look at it."

"You seem confused."

"I am."

"I think it's my turn to hang up. I have to finish that physics test."

"Hey, Super-girl?"

"Yeah?"

"Before you go I need to tell you something. Something to help you in your test."

"Get on with it."

"I am an electron. You are a proton. I have negative charge. You have positive charge. We have an undeniable attraction towards each other. It is inevitable."

"This is Physics. Not Chemistry."

"Oh."

"But you know what?"

"What?"

"That actually wasn't a terrible pickup line."

"You're going to hang up now, aren't you?"

"Yup."