Shane = Bold

Cleo = Italics

"You know, I've been taking your advice recently."

"Really, how so?"

"Well, for one thing. I took up reading."

"Oh my gosh! Really? Did you enjoy it? Have you had any fangirling sessions over characters and if so which ones? Most importantly are there any really cute couples that just completely defy the laws of-"

"Well...yeah. I guess but I kind of got sidetracked and started reading books with 'helpline' in the title and I um...kind of noticed something- about all the helpline books I mean."

"Okay. And what did you notice? I swear to God that if it's some majorly cliche thing where the boy and girl on either end of the line fall in love with each other then I'm going to hang up right n-"

"No. No. It's not that, like, at all. I mean, that was a particular theme as well which leads me to think that these people must have some kind of soulmate app that just randomly pops up with the appropriate  number to call your soulmate on but I guess-"

"Did you have a point that you wanted to make or not, Lost Boy?"

"Oh yeah...well, I kind of realized that in most cases that someone confessed something really big and plot changing that kind of sent a reader into a sense of having a sort of hyperventilating fit."

"Right...and this is relevant because?"

"Well, I was thinking. What if we really did turn this into a proper helpline kind of thing? I mean, I have some stuff that I'd like to get off of my chest."

"Plot changing kind of stuff?"

"Well, I've already admitted that I am planning suicide so I'm not entirely sure how much more drastic it can get but most of it is pretty minor."

"Like?"

"I've never watched a single Disney film."

"..."

"Super-girl are you alri-"

"ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN?"

"Last time I checked, yes."

"You can't be. It's not possible. How could you possibly be human and not have watched a single Disney film?"

"I'm...busy."

"Lost Boy, if you have not watched a Disney film by the time of our next phone call I will officially refuse to ever pick up a single phone call from you ever again."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"Alright then. Disney film it is. Which one would you suggest?"

"Peter Pan."

"So I can finally discover what a Lost Boy is?"

"Something like that."

"Alright then. Peter Pan it is."

"Is it my turn to confess?"

"Well...I guess it works both ways."

"Okay. Then I guess I'll start off small. I've never actually been outside of my town since I was little."

"You're serious?"

"Completely. I mean, mum and dad would always use to take me to London or something on a day trip. I guess after my dad went...into whatever he is in now we just stopped. I haven't left since."

"Can't you drive?"

"I've never had the time to get driving lessons and I don't have the kind of money to buy train tickets."

"My turn to confess again."

"If you've murdered someone I won't hesitate to call the police."

"Super-girl I haven't murdered anyone. The confession was actually going to be that up until the age of fourteen I wanted to be a doctor."

"That's pretty ironic, don't you think?"

"How?"

"The way you're going you're about to take a life, not save one. Why did you want to be a doctor?"

"I...uh...wanted to save and help people-why are you laughing?"

"Lost Boy, have you ever considered that in order to help people you have to help yourself first? Have you ever thought of being a little bit selfish sometimes? You have no hope of saving someone else if you're haven't saved yourself yet."

"Then what entitlement do you have to save me?"

"I'm being a hypocrite right now, aren't I?"

"Just a little bit."

"Then I guess that's my next confession. I am a hypocrite."

"That's not a bad thing."

"It isn't?"

"Not really. A hypocrite is just someone who's not willing to take their own advice."

"That's not a bad thing?"

"I don't think so. It just means that that particular person is too busy handing out advice to everyone else than to worry about themselves. I actually happen to think that hypocrites are the most selfless people that you can find."

"That's an interesting way of looking at it. I quite like that."

"You do?"

"You just complimented me."

"I guess I did."

"Alright, your turn. Next confession."

"Alright. My next confession is that I am seriously considering buying you train tickets to London."

"W-w-what?"

"It's high time you got out of that town of yours."