Funeral of the dear soul, Lucy Heartfilia. Everyone was there, the whole school, but no one was in more grief than a certain salmon haired boy, Natsu Dragneel.

- two days before, with Natsu -

"Bye Luce, I'll be back in a while!" He yelled from the door and closed them behind, as soon as he began walking, he felt vibration coming from his pocket.

What the hell does she want? He thought as he answered the call.

"Natsu? Is that you?" He heard a sweet voice on the other side, knowing exactly from who it was coming from.

"What is it, Lisanna, I don't have time." His voice was straight and low, he wasn't happy hearing her voice after all this time.

"I-I need to talk to you, please, you're my only option.." she begged. Natsu's eyebrows furrowed in frustration, but he couldn't say no, she needed help and he was willing to give it to her and anyone who needed it.

"Fine. Meet me at the old place, don't be late." He demand, she thanked him and hung up. Now Natsu had to change plans with Gajeel, they were supposed to go look around in hope to find a present for Levy's upcoming birthday.

He walked to the bar where they were supposed to meet. At first he saw no one, but after 2 minutes she showed up. She was wearing a top and short skirt, revealing a lot of her features.

Natsu stared at her with wide eyes before turning his head to hide tiny blush that appeared on his cheeks. You can't really blame him, almost every guy stared since she was practically not wearing anything.

"Hey Natsu, thanks for coming!" She greeted and attempted to wrap her arms around his shoulders, but Natsu was quicker and dodged.

"You didn't change, did you?" He growled while looking down, disappointed look on his face. She blinked few times at his reaction, but smirked afterwards, secretly putting a pill into Natsu's drink.

"Oh? Why would I?" He glanced at her and opened his mouth to say something, but closed them. He thought it wasn't worth it.

"Just tell me why did you call me after 2 years." Natsu exclaimed, tightening the grip on his drink and swallowing the whole thing in one sip.

Lisanna smiled proudly and took his hand in hers. His head shot up as she held him tightly. The whole room began spinning around, but not enough to knock him on the ground. Dizzy is the best word to describe it.

"Come with me.." she whispered and lead the way to the cabins, the waiter who handed them drinks noticed, but didn't think much of it.

When they came into the cabins, Lisanna pushed Natsu into the chair and sat in his lap. He couldn't think straight and before he knew it, she closed the space between them. Her lips were pressed hard onto his, tugging her tongue into his mouth, her palms slowly sliding down his chest to his abs, feeling his body entirely.

After a minute or two later she heard curtains open and slight gasp, but didn't turn around, next was them being closed back as they were and someone slowly walking away.

- present -

The people were walking to the coffin she was in and saying their last words to her. When Levy first heard the news, she couldn't process them at all. She thought it was just some kind of a sick joke, but as soon as she did, she was so devastated that she threw up from crying so hard. She didn't stop for two days, everyday she would wake up and hope it was just a dream, but she knew it wasn't. Gajeel was with her all the time, giving her comfort, keeping her company, bringing her warm meals, pushing her to get out of bed and shower...

Gray and Juvia weren't much different from Levy. They were both shocked, and after a bit of time, sad and devastated. They missed her a lot, especially Juvia, who just found her long gone childhood friend. Gray, who lost the first friend he met in the new school. She meant a lot to them.

Other students weren't exactly crying, but they were feeling guilty more than anything. There was that exact look on every of their faces, the look of guilt and sorrow. They thought it was their fault for bullying her, for never helping her out, or even someone stood up for her. Well, it wasn't entirely their fault, but they played big role in causing her to hate herself, cutting herself, starving herself and many more. Like her dad wasn't enough...

Finally, it came Natsu's turn to say goodbye. He was the last in line, so he could take as much time as he needed. Everyone already left the room, leaving him alone with her. He slowly walked closer to the casket, hesitant of seeing her, he was scared and confused, what made her do it?

He took a deep breath and walked closer. It felt like emptiness in his heart, a shear of nothingness that somehow took over and held his soul and threatened to kill him entirely. It gave him this heavy feeling that's like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders and there was nothing he could do to get out from under it. Its like the hole in his heart that is the shape of the one he lost and loved the most, that made him feel the need to wipe away any non-existent tears that he wanted to form but couldn't.

He saw her face as it laid on comfortable pillow, it was really pale, but she still looked beautiful. She was dressed in white dress that complimented her blonde hair, her cuts from two days ago were wrapped in bandages but there were visible some red staind, it pained Natsu's heart to see them, but somehow, she still managed to look like an angel.

He gripped the edge of the casket as he looked at her, how peaceful she looked, like sleeping beauty.. he leaned closer and placed the last kiss on her lips before he had to go.

He's never going to see her brown eyes again, He's never going to see her smile again,
He'll never be able to kiss her again,
He'll never hold her hand again,
He'll never see her again.

Those were the thoughts that were screaming in his mind, he couldn't bear them any longer. That's were he kept everything, in his mind. That was until now. Natsu could feel the hard painful lump in the back of his throat as the tears began to form. Slowly his breathing hallowed itself and a small but intense pain struck the top nerve in his head. Before he knew it there was shouting, it was him, yet it seemed so distant. Tears streaked his face..

Gray and Gajeel ran into the room and carried him out and sat him down in the empty room.

"Everything will be okay, Natsu, we're all here for you.." Gray said and put his hand on Natsu's shoulder. He was still in a bad condition, he wasn't able to express his feelings through his voice anymore, so he tugged on his head. It hurt, but it felt good. Gajeel immediately grabbed his hands and held them aside.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! Hurting yourself isn't the answer, Salamader!" He yelled as tears filled Natsu's eyes once again.

"I can't do this... I can't... I just.. can't." He whispered as drops appeared on his thighs, shocking Gajeel and Gray, Natsu's voice sounded desperate for help, but two of his friends couldn't give him what he needed. No one could, beside her.

"I'm sorry, man..." they said and walked him home.

~~

There was nothing left. Natsu gazed around the room with it's white walls, wooden bad with pink sheets, table on which she wrote all kinds of stuff and her cabinet that once was full of clothes which smelled like her..
Only a picture of his beloved girlfriend remained in his possession. With the eyes that could cry no more, he gazed out at the streets where people hustled to make their living and he knew his light had gone out. He looked down on her table and stared at the old photograph and longed to join her.

Dear Luce,

First what I want to say is that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that you saw me that night, it's my fault you are no longer here and I can barely live knowing I'm the one responsible for death of my soulmate, best friend and girlfriend.. it destroys me on a daily basis, but I'm trying my hardest to live, for you..
I really hope that you're happier wherever you are now...
I'll always love you and I don't ever intend to stop, you showed me the world I never knew existed and I'm grateful.
Anyway, I'm talking too much, sorry. The last thing I wanted to say is, and I really don't want to make you sad with this, but I think you'll be the only one who understands. Now I know how good it feels to get rid of the pain with pain..

With love, Natsu.

Natsu put down the pen as his eyes moved below, he noticed too much skin showing on his wrists. Faded lines and few red ones were noticeable so he pulled his sleeve down and walked away.

————————————————————
The last chapter of this book is finished! I can't believe this, this was an amazing journey and honestly, I never thought it would come to 19 chapters!
I really enjoyed writing this book and it helped me get my emotions out.. so I hope you enjoyed reding it too!
I love you, and goodbye till my next book! ❤️

Words in the entire book: 17,407 (i'm shook 😳)