i was hoping this was all a lie.
this is all a dream.
this is all just an act.
this is all just fantasy.
this is all unreal.
it looks so surreal.
but, unfortunately,
it is real.

i hate being like this.
i hate being vulnerable.
i hate being so weak.
i hate being an easy target.
i hate the reminder of my parents.

the memories that had been long forgotten
has been etched to my mind since the day
they appear on the news.

alex.
i need you.
where are you?
why are you not here?
please,
help me.
i need you.
i didnt realise that alex quickly came through
the door and cuddled with me.
how did he know,
who knows?
but his cuddles make me calm again.

thank you.