It took a few more weeks of restless dreams before Emmeline got up the courage to ask Joel out. She had been holding out, hoping that he would take the initiative, but so far, he hadn't, and the more she saw him, the more she wanted to spend further time with him. She just hoped he felt even a little of what she was feeling every time his face floated through her mind. It would be incredibly embarrassing if she was the only one who felt the spark between them.

There was something about him that she couldn't stop thinking about. His voice, his smile -the one that made her feel like the most important person in the world.

She decided that the next time he came in, she would ask him out on a date or resolve to forget about him entirely. She was done torturing herself with the possibility of "what if?"

When he finally did come in, she immediately regretted her decision and tried to run and hide. Kathy was having none of it, telling her to go and ask that man out or she would do it for her. Emmeline knew she was defeated.

Joel rang the little bell on the counter four times before she timidly showed her face.

"Hey, Joel." She tried to look natural, which meant she looked anything but.

"Where were you hiding?" He shoved his hand into his pocket and gave her a heart-melting grin.

"Oh, nothing, I, um, sorry. Coffee?" Emmeline stared at her shoes, avoiding eye contact, and she tried to figure if there was any courage in her jelly-like spine.

"Yes, please?" he said, sounding a little confused.

"Yes coffee, no tart."

"Are you calling me a tart again?" He laughed weirdly. "What's wrong?"

"Listen," she started. This is not going as planned! "We do this all the time, we talk, we talk about coffee; how about we just go ahead and do it?"

His eyes widened.

"I mean, not it, it—oh crap! I meant..." She buried her head in her hands.

"Yes..." He was clearly enjoying her discomfort.

"A date!" she finally managed to blurt.

"You want to go on a date with me?" he asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I mean, I think so?" Emmeline was dying inside; she was so embarrassed. If only she could have a do-over.

"So, you think you want to go out with me?" He was flat-out laughing.

"Put me out of my misery, please," Emmeline begged, her cheeks

"How about this?" he said, that cocky smile plastered permanently on his face.

"What?"

"Miss Emmeline, queen of the chocolate chip cookies, will you please go out a date with me?"

"Yes!"

By this time, she was starting to laugh as well. Thank goodness someone knew what they were doing. She wanted to crawl into a hole, but at least she got a date. It wasn't pretty, but a date was a date.

She gave him her number and crossed her fingers. Later that day he called, and they ended up talking for an hour, much less awkwardly on Emmeline's part. It helped that she wasn't quite as nervous.

They decided to meet that Friday. Emmeline made sure that he knew that she had a kid, and that she would have to wait until Millie was asleep before she could go out. She didn't want to explain to Millie where she was going and what she was doing. It was really important that if she did start dating again, Millie wouldn't be exposed to any dud dates. Ideally, Millie would never know Emmeline was going out until she felt like this was a serious thing. She had seen too many kids getting attached to their parent's new love interest and then having to be separated from them. It wasn't fair and that just wasn't going to happen. Emmeline might want a life beyond that of Mom, but Millie didn't have to know about it. Besides, one date—it could be a disaster.

By the time Friday hit, Pernella was full-out pushy for Emmeline to leave.

"I can't help but feel like you're trying to kick me out of the house," said Emmeline, eyeing Pernella suspiciously.

"Sweetie, that's because I am. Only old people get cooped up in this house."

"Listen, I've been fine on my own all this time. There is no rush to go out on this date."

"Only if you call playing hide and seek with the world fine."

Emmeline rolled her eyes. Over the years, Pernella had constantly pointed out new guys that she thought would be potentially a perfect match for her, and she was much relieved that Emmeline had finally picked one out for herself. Pernella was so excited, she went through her own closet, pulled out a tight black skirt that would barely cover her bum and encouraged Emmeline to wear it.

"Seriously, I can't wear this. It's not even decent," Emmeline said, holding the dress up to her body. "And where did you even get that?"

"But sweetie, if you wear this he won't be able to keep his hands off you," Pernella said, ignoring the question.

"Then I'm definably not going to wear it! Listen, the last time I wasn't careful I ended up seventeen and knocked up. I want to take this slow."

"Like a freakin' turtle!" Pernella chastised her.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Emmeline said dryly. "Listen, I don't see you out there."

"I don't need to be out there. I have everything that I've ever wanted right here. My life was simply the kind that didn't require a man. I'm that sort of person."

"Maybe that's my life too?"

"You want this, you want a family, and there is no way you can deny it. I know you shut down, but Emmeline, it's been years. And you're still what, twelve?"

"Ha, ha, I'm twenty-three. But frankly, I feel somewhere around forty."

"Now that is something we need to correct, and perhaps that is something this Sugar Boy Joel can fix."

"You're putting a heck of a lot of pressure on one little date, and I'm already nervous."

"There won't be a date unless you go upstairs and get ready."

"Crap, where does the time go?" She scrambled up the stairs and threw on a pair of jeans rolled up at the cuff, a black layered tank with embellishments around the scoop neck that complimented her cleavage, and a jacket. She had been so nervous about what to wear that she had Googled it, but as it turned out there were so many ideas of the ideal date clothing that she gave up and decided to put on what she was comfortable in. Besides, it wasn't like she could go out and buy something new. She was just happy she had something not covered in glue or apple sauce. Total win.

She checked on Millie, who was fast asleep, curled up with her blae-blae, the blanket that she always slept with at night. Satisfied that Millie was okay, she threw on a pair of heels, the ones she bought ages ago just in case she went someplace that required something more dressed up then her purple Converse running shoes. She still hadn't broken them in, and hoped she wouldn't regret wearing them. They were cute. She looked around the room. Unfortunately, everything was just fine, and there was nothing else she could do to stall. Her nerves were starting to play havoc on her stomach.

Deep down, she hoped that she would be enough just as she was. She always felt like that with Nicholas, and on her own she was fine, but now that she was starting to date again, all those insecurities seemed to rear their ugly heads. Mental note, she said to herself, don't think about Nicholas. She didn't have a lot of experience dating, but she was pretty sure there was a serious rule against talking about your dead boyfriend on a first date.

Blah!

The idea that she was betraying Nicholas in her mind. She tried to push it aside, knowing that she wasn't doing anything wrong. She did one more look in the mirror and fluffed up her hair. This was it. Time to go.

"Bye, Pernella," Emmeline said, going out the door.

"Wait, isn't he going to pick you up?" Pernella called back.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I figured if this guy turns out to be a psychopath, the last thing I need is to let him know where I live!"

She jumped into her car and headed in the direction of the restaurant. They had decided on a Chinese food restaurant, and he had suggested one not that far from the bakery. He insisted it was the best in town and was surprised that she hadn't been there. Emmeline had explained that once she discovered how much she loved cooking, she didn't often see the point of going out. Besides, it was an expense she couldn't always afford. If she made it herself, she could guarantee that it came out just the way she liked. It occurred to her that as she grew up she was becoming more of a control freak. Hopefully, Joel wouldn't mind that either. She repeated his name over and over, letting his name roll off lips, trying to make it sound natural.

"Hello, Joel," she said, with a forced sultriness.

"Hello, Joel," she tried again, trying to make it sound natural. She shook her head and wondered what kind of disastrous thing was going to come out of her mouth. It was sure to be epic, if past history was any example.