"How the flying heck are we supposed to get to Spain?" I whispered under my lips, to myself. I was about to ask Blondie if there were any more available flights, except an earth shattering sneeze overcame me. Yup, I was definitely on the road to getting sick. If only I could get there at the same time as Spain!

"Flying heck? Very punny, Jilly." Joshua observed smartly from beside me. I gave him a dirty look for finding humor in such a sucky situation.

"Are there any more flights available to catch? We really need to get there, like now." I tried to let Blondie know how urgent my request was. Instead of searching for flights, the woman had her eyes glued to Joshua.

 I was ready to slap somebody when her hand rose up to her hair and she started to twirl it around her finger. The chick hadn't even heard a word I was saying. Also, where the hell where we? High school?

I didn't know that running my index finger though my locks would automatically make me more attractive. I rolled my eyes. Why couldn't I have gotten a nice straight guy to help?

At least he wouldn't be eye f*cking Joshua from the other side of the podium. I rolled my eyes at my terrible luck.  I needed to get Joshua to Spain, no matter what.

"Excuse me?" I practically yelled, snapping my fingers in her face. I knew I was being rude, but not much more than her. I pretty much lost it when I noticed her not so discretely pull the zipper of her jacket a few inches down. Joshua stared at the ceiling, as Blondie leaned in, rubbing her boobs all over the edge of the wooden podium.

I didn't let her say a word, before I continued, "How about we all just save time and you take your entire uniform off?" I said mockingly, crossing my arms.

Joshua started to chuckle, but tried to contain it by looking around the airport. He was being of no help, aside from distracting every female in a ten foot radius.

Finally hearing my insult, Blondie straightened herself back into her previous position.

"Where to again? Antarctica?" Blondie questioned, busily punching in keys. At first I became confused. I had said Spain about thirty times since we had met the woman, but she did have her eyeballs practically super glued to Joshua. I didn't understand where she got Antarctica, though.

"Excuse me?" I asked, thinking that I heard her wrong.

"Yes, I mean it makes sense. A cold bitch like you deserves to be in her natural habitat..." Blondie trailed off, in an innocent tone.

Again, I wondered if I had heard her right. My eye balls were threatening to come out of their sockets and my fists were clenched painfully tight.

I saw Joshua's mouth open in horror and him shake his head at Blondie. It was proof that Joshua knew me well, because the moment that I leapt towards the podium, Joshua grabbed on to my waist. I knew I was making a spectacle of myself, squirming and grunting, trying to get out of Joshua's grasp. I was going to get my hands on the bitch!

"Lilly. Just take a step back. Relax-" Joshua tried to convince me. I wasn't having any of it, completely determined to rip the little slut to shreds. First she had laid her eyes on my Joshua and then called me a cold bitch!

"You know why you couldn't remember where we were going? Because you were practically eye- f*cking my...my...my-" I stopped short, not knowing what to say next. I felt my cheeks redden, realizing that Joshua probably know where I had been going. He wasn't mine though, and I was being ridiculous.

"Oh, please. Like a guy like him would be with you-" Blondie the slut screeched.

Just like that I felt my body deflate. I made short eye contact with Joshua, just for a split second. I noticed the corner of his lips curve upward, just the slightest bit, before his lips were on mine.

 That completely deflated me. I didn't even know how much time passed as my lips melted with his. I was usually a hater of PDA, but Goddamnit if I didn't feel victorious as I felt Blondie's eyes on us.

Joshua finally pulled away, momentarily silencing me.

"Sorry, if you could be so kind as to find a flight for me and my girl? We really need to get to Spain." Joshua asked, courteously. I probably had the same expression as Blondie, after hearing Joshua.

Without another word, the woman zipped her Jacket up to her neck and started to type away at her keyboard. The sour expression she wore made everything worth it, even though I was still in shock. His girl? I hated the butterflies in my stomach.

Relax, Lilly. He did it just to save your ass, right?

"I'm sorry Sir, but the only seats left are in economy" The blonde woman curtly said.

"That's fine." Joshua piped up, before I could argue. We finally got the tickets and made our way towards the security checkpoint.

After practically stripping, and gaining the attention of every female in the building, we finally made it onto the plane. I could have sworn that at least a dozen women fainted after he took his shoes off, it was ridiculous.

It turned out that flight attendants had become total dictators from one day to another. Joshua had sat down in the seat next to me for a few seconds, until a pimply faced attendant ordered him to move to his assigned seat, thus leaving the middle seat empty between us. Blondie had obviously had the last laugh, assigning us seats apart.

I thought that everyone had already boarded the plane, until I saw one more person walk into the aircraft. The woman couldn't have weighed less than 300 hundred pounds and I just knew that she was going to sit herself down right next to me and Joshua.

When she finally reached our aisle, a horrified laugh escaped my lips. I met Joshua's wide eyed stare, until it was blocked off by the woman. My seat was immediately pushed towards the window, until my right cheek touched the glass. Oh yes, I was already looking forward to the longest, most excruciating, seven hours of my life.

It took what felt like forever for the plane to finally take off. I didn't even have view of Joshua anymore. I tried to focus on the sights from outside of my window, it wasn't like I had any other choice.

My attention was focused, until I ended up falling asleep. There was no point in being a martyr.

I was just in the middle of some cheesy dream with Joshua, before I felt some sort of smell hit my nostrils. A mixture of vomit and farts hit me hard, making my eyes water. Holy mother of God, where the hell was that coming from? I cracked a watery eye open and tried to recall where I was. I finally got my shit together, after a few moments. If only the other person with their shit could get it together.

I turned my head an inch and was assaulted by the same stench, a million times stronger. I felt like puking, and only felt anxious when I started to think about how hard it would be to escape my imprisonment.

"What is that?" I wondered out loud, slightly gagging.

A male hand was thrust right into my face, the smell completely taking over me.

"Want some?" I heard Joshua ask from somewhere behind the brick wall that was the woman.

"Oh my God, get that away from me!" I yelled in horror. How the hell weren't there other people gagging along with me?

"Oh, It's delicious!" The woman persuaded from beside me. I finally got a good look at her. She wore a black sweater and what I could only guess was a moo moo dress under.

"I'm sure it is." I conceded with a nervous laugh. I was absolutely terrified of having whatever had been thrust in my face, close to me again.

"Quick! Hide the stash!" The older woman said. I noticed that her short brown hair was starting to grey and she was obviously in her fifties already. Her age didn't deter her though, I felt and heard her and Joshua bend over to tuck something into the bottom of their seats, then snap back into their previous positions.

The same pimply-faced flight attendant from earlier passed by, nose up turned, eyes searching. She was clearly on the look-out for whatever the hell Joshua and the Lady beside me were all over. I was tempted to unmask them, just for the sake of getting the offending smell away from me.

"What stash?" I wondered out loud, incredulously.

Both Joshua and the woman leaned into me, shushing me with their mouths. Oh, I got it. They were a team now. How long had I slept that Joshua had the opportunity to take part in a covert operation involving a stash?

Once the pimply attendant had made her way to the opposite side of the plane, Joshua took the time to explain.

"Lilly, this is my friend Marsha. Marsha, this is Lilly." Joshua started off by introducing us.

"Pleased to meet you, sugar!" Marsha greeted, leaning into me to one arm hug me. I just sat there, stunned as her arm went around me for a minute.

"Same..." I replied, a bit awkwardly. Maybe I was still asleep and dreaming?

"Anyway, Marsha was kind enough to share her-" Joshua was in the middle of explaining, when Marsha pulled out half of a spiky shell from under her moo moo dress. The offending odor hit me with new vigor and I actually found myself trying to see if plane windows actually opened. That's how pained I was feeling by the stench.

"Are you carrying used gym socks under that dress? I wondered, pinching my nose in a last effort.

"Oh, she's another one of the ones I was telling you about." Marsha told Joshua, as he nodded understandingly.

"You've never had durian?" Joshua asked from his seat. I nodded my head and put my arms out in front of me in defense.

"No, and I don't mind staying that way for the rest of my life!" I practically yelled.

"Come on, Jilly. Just try it?" Joshua tried to coerce, putting the damn thing even closer.

"If I try it, will you get it the hell away from me after?" I asked, finally giving in. Joshua and Marsha shared a smiling look, before they both nodded. They had looked as if they both knew something I didn't.

Joshua thrust the shell into my hands, containing a weird yellow pudding like mixture. Was I supposed to grab it with my fingers?

Cringing, I stuck an index finger into the shell. My finger smelled as if it had literally been crapped on, and I was ready to just vomit right then.

"Just commit, Sugar." Marsha trained from beside me. I closed my eyes and stopped breathing for a second, before I stuck my finger into my mouth.

I expected to keel over the moment that I tasted the pudding mixture, instead it tasted like almonds. The taste was completely different then the smell, which threw me off.

"Why doesn't it taste like crap?" I wondered out loud. Both Joshua and Marsha chuckled. Thus began our underground Durian operation. We would pass the fruit under our seats and have some when it reached us. After, they explained to me that we actually had contraband in our pallets.

The fruit was banned on airplanes. It made sense, I had been practically gagging at the smell. I felt kind of bad for the other passengers, but considering my little experience with Blondie the Slut, I wasn't feeling very sympathetic.

In the meantime, Marsha shared her life story, as me and Joshua listened avidly.

Turns out that Marsha was on her way to meet her online boyfriend, who lived in Madrid. The two had been dating for five years, and he had finally proposed. They had never met in real life, and I asked Marsha if she was sure that he wasn't some serial killer. Marsha assured me that the pair had video chatted countless times.

"I'll be seeing my true love when I land." Marsha claimed, wistfully. You would think that I would have been the one sighing and asking for more, but instead Joshua was completely engrossed in the story.

 Sighing, he asked Marsha how she had known he was the one. It was comical, but Joshua seemed to be genuinely interested in the woman's story. All I could think of was the fact that a freaking murderer was waiting for her when she landed.

The rest of the plane ride consisted of both Joshua and Marsha chatting like old friends, especially about Marsha's fiancé. I sat quietly on the side, absorbing the scene in front of me. Once in a while, Joshua would look at me for a few seconds. I didn't want to be caught staring, so I would sit back in my seat and let Marsha cover me.

Marsha stood when the plane finally landed, as Joshua pulled out her carry-on from the compartment.

"Thank you." Marsha smiled at Joshua before grabbing hold of her floral bag. At that point, I had finally been convinced of the fact that the man Marsha was going to see wasn't a killer. No one could send a woman flowers every Sunday for three years, if they were planning on chopping them up and putting them in their freezer.

"It was a pleasure to meet you two." Marsha said, smiling down at me.

"You too." I replied, at the same time as Joshua.

"You make a beautiful couple!" Marsha claimed, already turning around and not catching the shocked look on my face.

Joshua sat in the seat that Marsha had just left. We both stared ahead, even as the rest of the people continued to get off of the plane. Neither of us spoke about Blondie the Slut's incident or Marsha's statement.

I finally broke the silence when I spoke, "That was...."

"Interesting." Joshua said, finishing my sentence.

There go :) Have any of you guys had Durian? I haven't but I think it's so cool that it stinks, but tastes great. LOL anyway, thank you guys for reading, voting, and commenting!