so umm
happy new year

I'm currently sitting at home, in my sweats, eating christmas cookies and being watching episodes of glee, she ra, and the dragon prince.

or I was until my dad lost his shit for no reason whatsoever

now I'm sitting in my room, trying not to cry, and writing as many chapters of imd as I can. which I dont know why I'm doing that cause it sucks and no one ever reads it anyway.

I also canceled new years plans to stay home because I have to wake up at fucking 6 am to drive to the winter classic ice where im gonna freeze my ass off.

which I would gladly do for this once in a lifetime opportunity, but in the case I say fuck it. cause when we go, my parents have their friends, my sister will have hers, and where will I be? sitting in the backseat of our truck, sitting alone, listening to music. because all my friends that were supposed to come ditched me for fun vacations and other things with friends.

oh, and the one trip I've been looking forward to for months just got stripped away from me cause my folks said there was no point in going. even though all my friends are going and where will I be once again

stuck
at
home

per usual

oh! and who could forget that after listening to the song your crush wrote you for Christmas multiple times, and finally starting to believe your friends that he liked you, you get a message from him asking if you can make sure that the girl he said he likes got her gift from him

fucking loving life

only thing good about this god forsaken bitch of a year is that I have such good friends

bunners, night, moon, liv, blue, sol, shady, Becca, junie, llama, all of yall keep me fucking sane

most days anyways

but most days I just wish I could run up to blue and get a big old hug and get told that everything was gonna be alright

but I've got masella hugs, and those are just as great

but in just having the shittiest fucking night and I want it to end

I dont want the new year

I dont want to be left behind anymore

why am I always the one that gets used as bait, and then thrown out when you find someone better than me

fuck the new year

fuck it