Nicholas's words were like a punch in the stomach.

I opened my mouth, to defend myself and tell him that he was wrong, but I couldn't because I knew that deep down, I was a coward, and Nicholas was right.

I didn't see this going further.

“A car will come tomorrow morning and take you back to the city.” Was all Nicholas said, before he walked away and left me in the hallway, outside the room I'd be staying in.

I felt like I was having a flashback, right before my eyes as I watched him leave, after only spitting the truth, and I let him leave, without stopping him.

Why was I like this?

Why did this always end the same way?

I had never not once stepped up and tried to make things work, I knew that when things got difficult, I left, and didn't look back.

I walked away from my mom when she remarried shortly after my dad's death to Rob.

I walked away from my stepsister and didn't return her phone calls, texts, or offers to meet up.

I didn't fight for Lisa, my ex-girlfriend when she told me how she felt about being with me, in hopes that I would fight for her to stay.

Yet most of all, I was repeating history with someone I liked, someone I laughed with, joked with, and someone I was falling in love with.

What the hell was I even doing?

Nicholas had his issues, and god is he pushy, with that handsome smile and with those irresistible eyes, yet he was hard to not fall in love with.

I was scared to be with him because I had never felt this way, but I was more scared of losing him and regretting it.

I went after Nicholas, my heart pounding in my chest, and my body itching to see him, my head in body in a constant panic as I tried to find my way through the upstairs maze.

Then I saw him, coming out from a room down the other side of the hall, and then locked eyes with me.

I walked over to him, faster and faster with each step, not caring how nervous, and completely terrified I was at that moment.

I didn't want this to be the last time I would see him, or talk to him.

I stood in front of him, this incredible person, this person who likes me of all people, and I told him the truth, without the bullshit.

“I love you too,” I told him, as he stared widely at me, frozen in place.

“You're right.” I released a shaky breath, as I looked up at him.

“I didn't want to give us a chance because I was scared that you would realize someday that I wasn't worth it, and that you'd throw me away, it wasn't about anything else, I just didn't want you to see that I cared about you more than I wanted to admit, because if you did, you'd realize that I'm not as confident as I seem… I'm complicated, but I'm sure about one thing.”

I swallow hard, and reach out my hand, which was shaking furiously, to touch and wrap around his.
“I don't want to lose what we could be.”

There, I had said it, what was eating me the entire two weeks of not being able to see, or talk to him, I let it all out and I felt as though a huge weight had lifted from my shoulders.

I didn't know when it happened, but soon after he came into the bakery, I kept looking for him, waiting for him, and being disappointed when he wouldn't turn up.

I didn't want to admit that I had feelings, because once I did, I knew that just like Lisa, I would be exposed, and easily wounded, only to never be able to open myself up again.

“Charlie…” Nicholas closed the distance between us and wrapped his arm around me, as he hugged me, whilst still holding onto my hand.

“Do you mean it?” He asked softly, into my ear as he tightened his hold on me.

“Y-Yeah.” I swallowed nervously, as he pulled away from me but kept his hand on my waist, smiling beautifully with tear-glossed eyes.

“Does this mean you're not leaving tomorrow?” He asked, as I snorted and shook my head.
“No, unless you want me to, then-”

Nicholas suddenly captured my lips in his and then walked forward until my back was pressed up against the wall of the hallway.

At first, it was soft, gentle and patient, but once I kissed him back, it became something very real, and heated, as both our mouths open and our tongues intertwined and battle for dominance, our breath mixing into one.

My body was on fire, and with Nicholas rubbing up against me, it only made it worse, as I rubbed up against him, as both of our hands went feverishly all over each other's bodies.

We both pulled back, out of breath and with swollen red lips, as we stared at each other and with no words more to say, I grabbed hold of Nichola's hand and led him into the room he came out from.

The room was exactly how I pictured it, but I immediately focused on Nicholas as I walked us to the huge bed where I pushed him down onto the bed and then climbed on top of him.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I didn't want to stop now, not when he was looking at me like how he was like I was the most precious thing in the world.

It gave me a high, and in that high, I undid the belt on his pants and then started to work on the buttons on his trousers, my heart beating so loud I couldn't hear anything else.

Nicholas lifted his hips, and I pulled his trousers down, along with his underwear, and then swallowed hard as his enormous, and very hard erection sprung free.

I was straddling him and had no idea what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of, which was to wrap my hand around his cock, and start to stroke him.

“Mmmn.” Nicholas moaned as he pushed his head back into the bed.

He then looked at me, eyes filled with pain, and pleasure, as he then moved his eyes to watch my hand, going up and down his length.

“You need to stop.” He said huskily, his voice low and filled with need. “If you keep going, I’m going to explode, Charlie.”

I nodded my head and swallowed hard as he sat up, and then wrapped his arms around me, then got on top of me as he pressed my back into the bed, so he could wrap my legs around his waist while he hovered over me.

“You're so incredible.” He said as he pressed his hot lips against mine.

He looks at me, with a mischievous grin. “But now it's my turn.”

“Your turn?” I smiled nervously, as he leaned back and started to take my pants off.

“When was it ever my turn?”

He laughed and then gave me a look, which said ‘you know when’ as he grabbed hold of my cock, and then lowered his head.

I saw stars when he opened his mouth and watched his tongue press against the tip of my cock, and despite this being the second time I've felt this, it felt as though I was experiencing it all over again.

Whatever Nicholas was doing with his tongue, was like nothing I had felt before, it felt as though his mouth was the insides of a woman, yet I couldn't compare it since it was more than that.

I was close, so close and I didn't want to embarrass myself like last time, and finish inside his mouth.
“W-Wait.” I begged, reaching out to pull him away.

Nicholas grabbed my hands, and put them on either side of his head, as his eyes looked into mine, my cock disappeared down his throat as I felt the tension rising and rising until I couldn't hold back anymore.

Keeping my eyes on Nicholas, I unleashed everything I had, my whole body twitching as I experienced what only could be euphoria I saw fireworks in my eyes as I tried desperately to catch my breath.

“W…Wow…” Is all I could think of, as I felt Nicholas move on top of me.

He chuckled deeply and then hovered over me, placed his lips on top of more, and opened my mouth to kiss me, his tongue sliding into my mouth as his fingers slid into my hole.

“You're wet.” He mumbled against my lips, then smiled. “And still loose.”

I almost whacked him, as he huskily chuckled, with a humorous look in his eye as he pulled back, the taste of my cum evident on my tongue from our kiss.

“It's bitter.”

Nicholas laughed, then positioned himself between my legs, his hand wrapped tightly around his thick, throbbing cock.

“What about a condom?” I ask, trying not to think how that thing even fits inside of me, as I move my eyes to look at him.

“Bedside draw, my wallet.” He said as I moved just enough to grab the condom.

It felt weird, going into his things, but what was more weird was how he casually carried around a condom in his wallet.

“Do you always have one on you?” I asked before I could stop myself.

Nicholas ripped the condom open with his teeth, and then rolled the condom on his length, his body glistening with sweat.

“Ever since I was fourteen, and was told what an STD was.”

He then grabbed my leg with one hand and pressed his cock against my hole with the other, and then slowly, but surely, started to push himself into me.

Nicholas then leaned down, covered my mouth with his and then started to kiss me, so I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around him, as he pressed further into me.

The pain was just like the first time, if not more, it was unbearable but Nicholas went slow, and let my body adjust to his size.

“Are you okay?” He asked, pulling back slightly to leave soft kisses on my lips, cheeks and nose.

I wasn't okay, and I wanted to shove my dick inside of him just so he felt the same pain I did, but I kept my mouth shut and nodded my head.

The pain was temporary, that's all I told myself, as Nicholas started to move gently inside of me, and then out, just as slow as he moved in me.

“You're doing so good, babe.” He kissed my lips, as I looked down at our bodies connected, and hitting against each other in perfect sync.

It HURT, but then after a minute, I was starting to feel it, and most of all, feel him, as he moved in and out of me at a faster pace than before.

“Fuck-” He hissed out, moving his head back, as he thrusted his hips against mine.

He then looked at me, with hooded eyes and parted lips, before bending down to kiss me.

“I love you Charlie.” His words were like chocolate, sweet and left me wanting more.

I felt overcome with such emotion, such happiness that I had never felt before, and not wanting this moment to end, I kissed him back, and held on to that feeling, for as long as possible.

I finally understood what Nicholas was saying, about giving up before we even started.

I didn't know if it was his words, or me realizing how stupid I had been, but I swore to myself that I wasn't going to run away or let Nicholas go without a fight anymore.

I was sick of hiding behind the fear of being alone, and I was going to start allowing myself to be happy, with nobody but Nicholas.