Being in a car with Nicholas felt exhilarating, like I was breaking some rules and was happy about it.
“Oh I love this song.” He said as it turned the volume up.

The song was something I completely wouldn't have guessed that he would.

Beyonce played loud in the car, and Nicholas moved his lips along with the lyrics.

“Wow.” I say over the music, as he looks at me from the corner of his eye.

“What, I can't listen to mundane music like everyone else?” He asks, and I shrug and look out the window at the country scenery.

“I didn't say anything.”

Nicholas then turns down the music and then clears his throat, making me turn my head and look at him, to see that he looked nervous, tapping his finger against the steering wheel.

“What is it?” I asked him. “Are we lost?” I joked as he shook his head.

“No, it's uh.” He cleared his throat.

“I'm going to ask you something, and feel free to say no.”

He kept his eyes on the road, as I watched him take a deep breath, his finger still tapping away.

“How do you feel about making this a continuous thing?” He asked as I looked at him confusingly.

“A continuous thing?” I repeated, laughing as I noticed the tips of his ears turn slightly pink.

“Are you asking me to run away with you every weekend? Or did I get that wrong?” I ask, as he looks at me panicky, then back at the road.

“No… but yes.” He groaned. “Sort of, but no.”

“I meant it as though the two of us became more than friends.”

I simply stared at him, my stomach doing flips as I shift in my seat, suddenly too shy to look at him so I looked forward.

“I didn't realize we were friends.” I joked awkwardly, as I felt him looking at me.

Nicholas wasn't going to drop this, and I felt like he needed an answer now, and I felt guilty trying to change the subject, so what do I say?

There was so much attached to dating someone like Nicholas, so much I wasn't ready for, and don't think I would be ready for, not in a million years.

So, how do I tell him that, without saying no?

“Nicholas…” I rub my foreheads, and try to find the words.

Spending time with Nicholas, and knowing more about him, it was hard to not like him, find him attractive, and want something more, but dating?

“I like spending time with you.” I started, as I noticed us get closer to a castle up ahead.
“But?” He aske, as I felt my hands start to sweat.

Nicholas drove up to the castle and parked out front, and he was right, it was in the middle of nowhere out in the English countryside, and everything about it screamed solitude.

I just now realized this might have been the worst time to talk about ‘us’ when I didn't even know where we were.

He turned the car off, and then turned to me, his face no stoic and waiting for me to talk.
“Okay.” I take my seatbelt off, and turn to face him.

“I've never dated a guy before, let alone a guy who will be King in the future, I just don't know where I see myself in this future, and-” I paused, my heart starting to pump twice as fast.

I didn't want to do this here, but there was no way around it anymore, me and Nicholas had something going on, and if not now, then when?

He had to know how I felt about this.

“I like how it is right now.” I told him. “Every girl I've been with has left me, and moved on, and I know that the moment I say yes, it'll eventually end up the same way it always does for me.”

“I don't want to stop seeing you, I… like you, but I can't date you.” I say, turning my head and unable to look into those blue, bright eyes of his.

The car turned silent, and deafening that it became so thick with tension that I couldn't stand it.
“Ok.” Nicholas eventually says, unbuckling his seatbelt.

I turn and look at him. “Okay?” I repeated, and he said nothing, as he opened the car door and got out.
What did he mean by ok?

I got out of the car and closed the door behind me, whilst Nicholas waited for me on his side, with a stoic face as he held his phone in his hands, and typed something into it.

I felt like I upset him, it was obvious from the way he was reacting, but what could I say?

Nothing I say would make this right. “Should I leave?” I say quietly, standing near him, as he typed away.
He sighed, then put his phone back in his pocket, then looked at me.

“Sure, yeah, if that's what you want then I'll call a car for you, but it'll have to be tomorrow, as it's gotten quite late.” He then says, uninterested as heturnsd around andwalksd away.

I couldn't believe he was behaving this way, knowing too well why I said what I did.

“Do you even see this going further?” I asked him seriously, following after him as he opened the door to the freakishly large fancy castle, and walked in, throwing his keys somewhere on a round table in front of him.

“You're a prince of a damn country, and we've only known each other for a short time.” I pointed out, still following him as he walked ahead.

“Can you stop and fucking look at me, I'm trying to have an adult conversation with you!” I snap out, making Nicholas suddenly stop, and then turn around.

“I get it, I do.” He said, smiling sadly, as I felt guilty looking at him.

“I'm pushy, remember?” He said. “I pushed my way into your life, and now I'm pushing you into a relationship with me.”

“Being a prince has nothing to do with it, you're afraid, and I understand.”

“I just-”

“No,never mindd.” He then said, reaching out to hold my hand in his. “I shouldn't have asked, it's too soon, I got ahead of myself in the moment.”

“Come, let me show you where you'll be staying.” He held my hand and tugged me along with him, as I felt like I had spoiled the mood completely.

“You have a week right?” He asks as I look at the back of his head as he talks. “I thought we could spend some time together before we headed back, there's a lake out back so we can fish, and some horses in the stables if you want to have a ride.”

“There's also a town close by, we can go later if you're up to it, you'll need a toothbrush.”

It was suffocating, the more he talked, the more I couldn't find the words to say anything.

Nicholas was trying to not let this whole relationship ruin the mood, but it was already ruined, nothing was going to fix it, but he tried, and the more he did, the more I wished I said something he wanted to hear.

Nicholas kept talking and talking, more than I had ever heard him talk, and even if he hid it well, I knew all too well when somebody was disappointed, and down.

“So, are you hungry? I could rake the pantry or we could get something delivered from the nearest town.” Nicholas asks as I swallow deeply, my chest clenching painfully tight.

Without even realizing it, I felt something dripping onto my shirt, and then before I knew it, I couldn't see out of my eyes.

I'm… crying?

I turn around and wipe my eyes before Nicholas can notice, but he does, and then goes to grab my wrists to move my hands from my face.

“Charlie, wha-”

“Why are you crying?” His voice was gentler no, and filled with worry.

“Is this about food?” He aske, as I rubbed my eyes, wishing the floor would swallow me whole that he saw me like this, crying.

“We don't have to go out, I can-”

“Just stop it!” I snapped out, feeling like crap.

“Why can't you just tell me how you feel, instead of pretending that everything is fine?” I groaned out, and walked away from him annoyed.

“You want to be like the rest of us, well this is what being normal is about, Nicholas, you don't do…this!” I waved my hand at him, sighing heavily as I felt frustrated with myself.

“What did you want me to say? That'll I'll date you and we'll be happy?” I scoffed, laughing to myself as I shook my head.

“Yes.”

I looked at Nicholas and I saw his face crumbling, as his eyes, filled with emotion, finally looked into mine.

“That's exactly what I thought, that we could be happy together.”

“Who gives a damn what anybody else has to say about my private life, or yours? Isn't that the whole point of being ourselves?” He said angrily, running his fingers through his messy blonde hair.

“You're right.” He laughed darkly. “We have only known each other for a short period, but you made what we shared sound like it meant nothing to you, that I was just something to experience.”

I heard what Nicholas was saying,ands in my gut I knew what he said was right, because of how much I was afraid of being seen by millions next to the world's most eligible bachelor.

But then Nicholas said the magic words, the words that I didn't want to hear.

“You never gave us a chance, did you?”