Once I made it up the stairs to my apartment with Nicholas by my side, helping him each step of the way, I led him inside and straight to the bathroom.

I was somewhat thankful Nicholas was so out of it, my apartment wasn't exactly fit for quests, wth plates in the sink, and clothes on the floor, from how busy I'd been in the bakery.

I started the shower for Nicholas, as he sat on the toilet seat and watched me with bloodshot eyes, it looked as though he hadn't slept in a long time.

“Do you need anything before I leave to let you shower?” I ask him, as he shakes his head, then starts to undress in front of me sloppily.

I had to hold in a laugh as I watched him try, and fail to lift the shirt up from his head, without undoing the buttons first, it was such a sight that I couldn't believe how funny he was while drunk.

“Here.” I reach out and help him. “You're going to get nowhere like that.” I joke as I get the shirt off him.
“Sorry.” He smiled weakly up at me, more sober than he was twenty minutes ago.

“I'll go fetch you some water, and some paracetamol.” I tell him, moving to stand in the doorway, watching as he stands up and undoes the belt on his pants.

“Would you like something to eat, or do you feel sick?”

“Something to eat might be nice.” He kicked his trousers off, and then went to pull down his underwear.

“Wha-” I turned around just in time before I saw just how well endowed he actually was down there, and as naked as the day he was born.

Jesus, that was close.

As much as I tried not to notice, Nicholas was a very fit guy, who probably worked out regularly, but not only that, the guy was huge.

I was above average, but Nicholas was beating me in that department.
No wonder girls love him, he's a monster.

I heard him step into the shower so I went and closed the door, giving him privacy, then I headed into the kitchen and made him something easy to eat so that he could soak up the alcohol in his system.

I made him a turkey sandwich, as that's all I had in the fridge, considering I barely ate in my apartment and always grabbed something from the store to heat up.

Nicholas came out from the bathroom in just a towel, making me realize I hadn't given him any clothes to wear, as I watched him come over to me.

His hair was usually styled perfectly every time I saw him, but now it was wet and down over his forehead, and despite how amazing he always looked, I preferred him like this.

There was just something about him like this that made me feel strange inside, so strange I felt my heart race spike whenever I looked at him.

“Here.” I clear my throat and hand him the sandwich on a plate. “I'll just go grab you something to wear.”

Nicholas sat down on the sofa and started to eat while I found some pyjamas for him to wear, and luckily we were the same size, body-wise, so I knew they would fit him.

“Here.” I handed him the clothes, and he smiled at me.

“Thank you.”

He finished the sandwich and then started to put the t-shirt on, and then he grabbed the pair of pyjama bottoms I gave him and then stood up, to remove the towel and put them on.

I turned around to give him privacy and then heard him laugh huskily, as I felt the tip of my ears burn.

“You don't need to look away.” He says humorously. “I don't mind, if it's you.”

What the hell was he saying, so bluntly?

“I bet you say that to everyone.” I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

“I'm dressed.” He said, so I turned around and saw that he was sitting back down, and looking up at me.
“They're a little tight, but it will do.” He said as he patted the space next to him on the sofa.

“Can we… talk?” He said quietly, as his relaxed face suddenly turned serious.

“Do you want to do this now?” I rubbed my arm, suddenly feeling awkward. “You should probably get some rest.”

It was quiet for a minute, but then Nicholas sighed.

“I haven't been able to rest for weeks, Charlie.” He said, making me look at him.

He looked tired, if not exhausted, as his bloodshot blue eyes looked at me sadly.

“Someone was following me, and threatening to release photos of us together.” He then said, my eyes widening as I listened to him.

“Usually I would ignore it, and then stop it going to print, or online, but I wanted to protect you, and your shop from any harm, so I choose to handle it my way.”

His sad eyes went to his hands, which were on his lap and clenched. “I bought the photos and that was the end of it, but then my stepmother found out and told my father I was coming here to see you, and that's when I  kept my distance from you.” He laughed bitterly, the veins on his hands bulging.

“It's a complicated relationship you see, one that's held together by glue.”

He looked up at me, as I slowly made my way to sit beside him. “Despite how it looked in the park, it's not what it seems, I swear..” He said, slowly reaching out to touch my hand.

“My father has been trying to set me up for years, Clara is a friend, and our family goes back, she's been dealing with some private health issues that I've been supporting her through for years.”

“I'm not dating her, Charlie, I promise we're nothing like that.” He said seriously, his hand squeezing mine on top of my lap.

“I…” I didn't understand, as much as it made sense.

Something just didn't feel right.

“Why did you leave that day?” I ask him, as he flinches, his eyes lowering to our hands.

“You show up here, tell me you’ve fancied me since the first time you saw me, string me along and then ghost me for two weeks.” I feel the heat rising in my head, as I move his hand from mine.

“You show up here, drunk and you expect me to just, what? Pretend that you didn't hurt me?” I scoffed, sitting back on the sofa, with my fingers rubbing my forehead.

“I do try to give you the benefit of the doubt, we are people from different worlds… but in my world, that's what we call a red flag.”

Nicholas was quiet, and staring at the coffee table in front of me, looking a world away as he looked deep in thought.

Why did I even bother? I was so over this a few hours ago, that I was convinced that I would never see him again, yet here I was, pulled back into the thick of it.

“When… I was eighteen.” Nicholas paused, as I turned my head to look at him, then took a deep breath and then turned his head to look me in the eyes.

“My brother Henry killed himself, because of me.”

It took me a moment to process what he said, as I stared at him blankly.

“I don't…” What do I say to that?

He smiled weakly and then looked away from me. “He was always jealous… and very sensitive, being the second son, he.. didn't handle it well, despite how much I tried to downplay the entire ‘heir to the throne’ situation around him.”

I had heard of his brother's death, and I remember it being called an accident when I was young, and hearing my mom talk about it from hearing it on the news, but suicide?

“After his death, it all went downhill from there, I knew I was to blame, yet nobody said anything, so to fill that hole he had left, a lot happened and I began drinking a lot.”

He looked at me, and I saw the fear in his eyes as he talked about his brother.

“Drinking turned to drugs, and then drugs turned to sex.”

“Put all three together, you have a perfect blend of fuck up.” He smiled sadly, as he looked at the ground in front of him.

“When you told me you wanted more, I wanted nothing more than to shout out in happiness, I had been unknowingly in love with you from the moment I saw you, years ago at the charity in the children's hospital.”

“I have an addictive personality disorder.” He said, not looking at me.

“Not many know, and those that do, like Clara, help to keep me balanced whenever I have a bad day, like when I left your place, that day.”

“I didn't want to show you this side of me, and lose something good, so I left, thinking I had done you a favor, and while I still love you, I wanted to let you go.” He chuckled lower, with a sigh.

“But then I saw you with that girl and I felt like I was reliving my brother's death all over again.”

Nicholas looks at me. “Since I could walk, read and talk I only had one purpose in this life, a life my brother craved, to simply be a King for the people, with no life of my own.”

“I didn't mean to leave you, I was just trying to protect you.” He told me, his voice breaking .”I couldn't protect my brother, but you… I wanted to try.”

“I wish I never left that day and had not been such a coward to tell you the truth, that I'm afraid of losing you so much that I did it while I was convinced I was saving you.”

As I listened to Nicholas explaining everything, from his brother to his addictions, to his family life, all I could think of was how different we truly were.

He had lived such a miserable life of misery, to be blamed for a death at that age, from something that was out of his control would mess anyone up.

Nicholas was just as human as the rest of us, but because of who he was always meant to be, he had forgotten what it was to be Nicholas and not the Crown Prince of a country.

He was as alone as I was, but unlike me, who filled his day being a workaholic in the bakery from dusk until dawn, he found ways to fill the void with other things.

“Thank you.” I reached out, and put my hand on top of him, making him flinch and turn to look at me, his eyes glossed over.

“You're not a bad person, Nicholas, you've just had a bad day.”

“I understand, it's hard sometimes and when it gets so bad, all you want to do is to run away, and do what makes you forget.” I say, Nicholas's eyes widening as he stares at me bewildered.

“You… understand?” He asked, almost not believing me as I nodded my head.

There was a silence that overcame us, and in that moment I had dropped all the pain, and resentment I held against him for leaving and not telling me why, and instead, I forgave him.

I had no idea he was having a hard time like this, you wouldn't know from looking at him, with a life of luxury in an actual place, with money, title and women hanging off every limb of your body.

Nicholas was as real as any other normal person out there if not more than most.

“I want to kiss you.” Nicholas suddenly announces, chuckling as I almost choke on my saliva.

“How messed up is that?” He smiled. “I just told you something messed up, and all I can think about is kissing you again.”

My heart was beating, my palms were sweating, but most of all, my thoughts were exactly the same as his.

I had never wanted to kiss anyone as badly as I wanted to kiss him.

This foreign feeling, having never kissed a man other than Nicholas before, yet with him, it felt normal, it felt natural, and from experience, I liked it.

“If I ask you to kiss me…” I swallow hard, as I stare into his mesmerizing pale blue eyes. “Would you leave, and ghost me again?”

Nicholas's lips slowly turned into a smile, as he then laughed and shook his head.

“No.”

“Never again.” He added.

That was all he said, before we both leaned forward and did what both of us were dying to do, from the moment we laid eyes on each other again.