PART THIRTEEN | HOT CHOCOLATE AND CHINESE FOOD

The last thing I remember from Gwen is her pep talk: 'people may have a big expectation on you. But remember, you have to put yourself first.'

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The wooden staircase is showing a little vibration if you squint your eyes. A pile of dust is spotting on the untouched surface of each step. Maybe it has been there for a long time, claiming the corner where the wooden step meets the white wall as its home. Even a vacuum cleaner couldn't reach the dust in the corner.

The sound of his steps upstairs is echoing the dining room. It is raining outside, a calming sound of a raindrop hits the ground slips from the open window. Petrichor is emanating from the dry soil and grass. I inhale the pleasing scent and recording the sounds, store it neatly on my mind. Renaming the file as 'Jeremy's Dining Room in A Rainy Day'.

"Don't run in the house, Jeremy!" Diane shouts, she pinches the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb. She continues to massage the area, hoping the throbbing pain on her head lessen. "This house will crumble soon," she mutters under her breath.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Now, I am looking up to the white ceiling above us. Series of recessed panels creating a rectangular grid. Lightings are attached firmly between the panels. It is called a coffered ceiling, as Jeremy told me earlier. Fortunately, the ceiling remains still. There is no sign it would crumble and destroy the beautiful dining room below.

"This kid can't be tamed," she lifts her eyes to meet mine. "But he is so lovely most of the time," she smiles, her tired eyes hooded by long lashes. A crease is forming on the corner of her eyes. She reminds me of Mom when Oscar doesn't eat his breakfast.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Jeremy saunters into the dining room with a navy sweater curled on his hand. His chest moves up and down rapidly contradicts his calm demeanor. He bends over to plant a kiss on Diane's cheek. His left-hand props his figure, placed on the table separating me and Diane.

"Don't be mad, Di. Remember, you'll add a wrinkle on your face if you mad," he says. Diane laughs at his comment. "You're givin' me all these wrinkles, mate," she motions her hand to her face. Jeremy chuckles, his eyes flicker to my direction across the table.

"Alright, I'll pick up our dinner," he declares, walking out from the dining room. Diane convinces me to have dinner first before going home. The Chinese restaurant that supposes to be delivering Diane's order calls and tells her their delivery man is unable to reach her house. The road is blocked due to heavy rain, forcing everyone who needs to pass turning around and find another way. It is impossible for the delivery man to turn around because he has 10 boxes of Chinese foods that need to be delivered soon. Diane doesn't have many options but asks Jeremy to pick up the food himself.

The front door is slammed shut. After a few minutes, we could hear a revving engine indicating Jeremy's departure.

"How about a cup of hot chocolate?" Before I could muster my answer, she gets up from the chair. Sauntering to the counter, opening the cabinet above her. I follow behind her, helping to set the saucepan on top of the stove. She tears an aluminum foil package revealing a bar of dark chocolate, then chopping it. I pour the whole milk onto the saucepan and turn on the stove.

"Honey, you're so sweet. You don't need to help me," she waves her hand but I insist to help. Diane gives up and lets me preparing the mugs on the counter.

"You like cinnamon and marshmallow, honey?" Diane cranes her neck to look at me, she starts adding the chopped chocolate onto the milk.

"Yes, please," I respond, leaning my body to the counter. The cold marble presses my back through my thin cotton shirt. Chocolate and cinnamon scent is filling the dining room in a minute. Presently, I realize why Jeremy always appreciates foods. Diane must be spoiling him with a huge amount of delicious foods every day.

Diane pours the steaming chocolate liquid to the mugs for us, and Jeremy. She seats me back to the chair, sipping our chocolate while listening to the rhythmic raindrop outside. "It is delicious, Diane," I say. She smiles, "thank you, Honey. Jeremy loves it as well."

"So," Diane shifts on her chair, she laces her fingers on her mug. "How did you met Jeremy? I never saw you before, are you a fresher?"

"Yes, my family moved here 3 months ago," I answer. A memory of our first encounter at the gymnasium floods back. The image of his figure groaning in pain while sitting on the bench makes my stomach churns. "We met at the gymnasium. I found him sitting on the bench with a sprained ankle."

"He has been suffering since he fell on his ankle last season. It keeps coming back, I mean the pain. Oh, poor kid," Diane brings the mug to her lip, sipping the hot chocolate slowly. "You're the first person he brings home, Tara. The boys from the team used to hanging out here, making a mess on his bedroom. Jeremy used to be a social butterfly... until he decides to restrict his social life. Does Jeremy ever talk about Megan?"

I nod, "yeah." I want to ask so many questions about Jeremy and Megan. The urge to know more about him and his past are getting bigger. But my throat tightens, I couldn't mutter any single words to respond. I keep silent, staring at the steam of my hot chocolate.

"After Megan's accident, he locked his bedroom for a week. I was so worried, keep checking him to make sure he didn't do anything dangerous. You know... like a suicide. He didn't go to school, skipped the practice, and refused to eat. Can you believe it? Jeremy lost interest in food, it's a red flag. I signed him to a therapist, but he only attended the first appointment. Lux, from the team, kept coming here despite Jeremy ignored him," Diane pauses, her hand reaches my mind on the table. "I'm glad that he met you, Tara... Thank you," she says, squeezing my hand.

I try to absorb a burst of information I just heard, it must be hard for both of them. Presently, I know why Jeremy is still hanging out with Lux, even though he acts like a pervert around girls. He is trying to be a supportive friend. I squeeze Diane's hand back, "I'm glad that I met him too, Diane. It must be a dreadful time back then for Jeremy and you."

"Oh, Honey, I kept asking him if he wanted to move back to London. But being a sweet Jeremy, he refused to go just to accompany me here. You know he is so persistent, don't you? His parents came here to pick him up, but he said that he was okay and just needed some time alone. Then, he started to go to school and practice again. But, deep down his heart I know he is far from okay," she holds back the tears forming on the edge of her eyes. I stroke the back of her hand soothing her.

Presently, I know why Jeremy chooses to eat alone in his sacred place rather than hanging out at the cafeteria. It's not just a hidden place for him to eat his lunch; it's his hiding place from the world. He is broken-hearted, feeling unwanted, and frightened.

It's 07:31 p.m. and still raining outside. Jeremy has been out for twenty minutes now. Diane starts to worry. "Why don't we call her, Diane?" I ask her.

"Honey," Diane stares at me, her eyes show concerned. "He doesn't use his phone ever again after Megan's accident. I thought you knew that," she says with a soft voice.

A thunderstorm.

An electric shock.

A jolt of realization.

Her words leave me flabbergasted. I never realize that before. Presently, I know why he never texts nor calls me. He would appear at my house and had a cup of tea with Mom because he didn't know where I was. He didn't need to worry about his phone when we were swimming in the middle of the night. He climbed the tree outside my window to ask me out. He listened to his iPod when he waited for me on the field. And the first time we met... he borrowed my phone because he didn't have one; it's not a lame excuse to ask my number. The phone call he had with Megan on her accident must be traumatizing for him.

"I.. I didn't realize that, Diane. I'm sorry," I bring my hands to my face, covering it. Feeling dumb and careless all this time. Diane gets up and tangles her hands around me.

"That's okay, Honey. He won't tell you, anyway," she says, rubbing my back.

All of sudden, the door is swinging open. Then, Jeremy walks into the dining room with a box of our Chinese food. His brown hair gets drenched making it darken in color. The water dripping from his locks dampen his sweater on the shoulder. His eyes dart on me, "what happens?"

Diane's hands still tangle on my body. We didn't hear he opened the front door earlier because of the rain outside blocking all the sound. "Oh, on, lemme get you a towel," Diane says. She ignores a confused expression on his face.

Jeremy walks closer, "Tara-Jane, are you okay?" He places the box on the table then kneeling beside my chair. Jeremy pulls me to face him. Bringing my hand to his face, I cup his cheeks. His cheekbone is prominent but his skin is so soft in my palms.

My breath hitches from the sudden cold as I touch his face, "you're freezing. I'll reheat the chocolate for you."

His face leans to my hand, his eyes shut. "Mmh.. hot chocolate? sounds temptin'. You're so warm, Tara-Jane." He places his hands on top of my hands. His lips turning from its original pink color to purple because of the cold. I pull away from him trying to get up from my chair but his large hands hold me by my waist.

"Oh, please. I need to cuddle now," he pouts. My lips twitch to a smile, he looks so adorable. His damp hair falls on his forehead and covering his right eye. "And you're not answering my question."

I reach for a strand of hair on his eye, sweeping it away from his vision. My conversation with Diane reminds me of the predicament he went through. "No answer is an answer," I say, sticking out my tongue. He clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth. From the look in his face, he is not satisfied with my answer.

"Is that mean you're not okay? Or you're not okay but pretending to be okay? Girl, I don't understand. Please."

I giggle. "I'm bloody okay," I say, mimicking his accent. He cocks his eyebrow, "well, that's sick."

Diane saunters to the dining room with a dry towel in her hand. Jeremy frees me from his grip so I could reheat his chocolate. After setting the foods on the table, Diane calls for our long-awaited meal. I don't realize that I am so hungry until I taste the sweet and sour chicken in front of me. Combining it with warm rice, I couldn't hold a moan.

Jeremy tells us the rain is heavy outside and he forgets to bring an umbrella; that is why he is soaking wet. Diane blames him for being careless. He shrugs it off, "s'okay, I get my hot chocolate." I shake my head seeing his childish behavior. My phone beeps, I check the screen and my eyes widen at the sight.

Gwen's name is flashing on my screen.

Can we meet?

***

There are two questions I'd like to ask you:

1. What do you think about Jeremy's character so far?2. What do you think about Gwen's sudden missing?This is not an essay assignment from your Professor and I won't give a score for your answer as well, but please can you consider to answer it?! like... please please please xp.s. I attach Timothée Chalamet's picture holding a cigar and reading a book. How can a person be so attractive as that? And pardon me, I forgot the Tumblr account who posted it!