PART TEN | KIRBY'S BURGERS

I used to believe that a monster was living under my bed. It would crawl in the middle of the night and gave me a nightmare. As I grow up, I realize that we are living among monsters and dealing with them on a daily basis.

I sit on the passenger seat with Jeremy beside me, driving slowly. We are on the way to my home after our practice. I observe his figure, as gorgeous as always. He rolls his window down letting the wind ruffles his hair. That might be one of the messy things I adore in my life.

He catches my eyes. Like a deer in the headlight, I feel so embarrassed. Jeremy smiles sweetly, I could spot a dimple on his left cheek. I wonder how people could be this attractive just by smiling.

"What is it, Tara-Jane?"

"Nothing," I say looking down to my hand on my lap. Feeling shy after caught staring at his pretty face.

Is he smiling at Amy like that too?

My unpleasant conversation with Amy before practice makes me far from comfortable. When she approaches me in the changing room, I thought it was about Gwen. It turns out to be her egotistical declaration of her past relationship with Jeremy.

"I saw you talk to Jeremy at my party last Friday." She is standing with her right hand on her hip.

I don't have a clue where the conversation is going until she mentions it.

"In case you don't know, I and Jeremy were a couple when we were freshmen." There is a pang of hurt in my heart. At least, I am glad it is a were.

"Oh, it's new to me."

She nods proudly, "Yeah, it happened before he dated Meg. You know about the girl, right?" She tries to look concerned. But it is failing. I could see a slice of hatred in her eyes.

I answer with a nod. She seems doesn't need my answer too. She is here to speak not to listen.

"Since we are breaking up, we are in a bad term. He completely ignores me. And after Meg's death, he starts to ignore everyone as well. It's a surprise he is talking to you."

"What do you want, Amy?" I say crossing my hand in front of my chest.

"Are you two dating?" She says straight to the point.

"It's not your business," I state.

"Listen, it is just a sister-talk I give for you. If you care enough, he is still grieving over Meg. And it is not the best time to start a relationship with him right now. Maybe he is just using you." Again, she tries to look concerned. But I could see she is so pretentious here.

"Thank you for your sister-talk, Amy. But save it for anyone else. I don't need it." A smile starts to fade on her face. Her hands curl to a fist. I walk back to the changing room but halt to turn around.

"Besides, I have a better sister to talk to." I leave her speechless in her place. Honestly, Emily is way better from her.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. We are at the traffic light now. I gather the courage to ask him.

"How many girls have you dated, Jer?"

He chuckles at my burst but answers calmly, "Define a date."

"You know what I mean. Something close to a relationship. But maybe asking a girl out is count as well."

"I can't say the exact number. But I'm pretty experienced."

"I can tell," I trail off.

"What's on your mind, Tara-Jane?" He glances at me. Then the traffic turns green. He hits the pedal again.

"It is just... I wonder why you date Amy in the first place."

He cocks his eyebrow, "She was nice back then."

"Was." I chuckle. Then he starts to chuckle as well. We both agree that she is not the nicest person right now.

"Tell me more about your past relationship."

He glances at me, "Seriously, Tara-Jane."

"If you are comfortable talking about it. I prefer it would be you who told me than another girl crushes into me again. Like Amy did."

"She said something mean to you?"

"Don't worry, she is a bagatelle for me."

"Bagatelle," he points my bizarre choice of word. "Amy was my first girlfriend in high school, we broke up after I realized she was so clingy. I lost interest."

Don't be too clingy it scares him away, I note to myself.

"Then I dated random girls. Until I settled in with... Megan. But you know, she cheated on me." He glances at me. I try to read his expression but I couldn't figure it out. There are too many emotions at once.

"It's okay if you-"

"Nah, s'okay. You have to know this from me, as you said. Megan was the first girl I thought I loved. When I knew she was cheating on me, I was so angry. We never fought before, but that night we are having an intense argument over the phone. She was driving home with her man. Maybe if I didn't stupidly confront her that night, she is still alive now." His grip tightens on the steering wheel.

"You have the right to be angry, Jer."

"I was an egotistical jerk, Tara-Jane. I still clearly remember the sound of her car crashed that night—I called her name over and over but there was no answer. I was helpless when she needed me the most."

"I am really sorry for Megan, Jer. But please, stop blaming yourself. It's in the past and you have a life to live now."

"I don't want to live in the guilt too, Tara-Jane. It's suffocatin'. I am living a nightmare." He has a distant look on his eyes, a crease forms on his forehead. It must be a dreadful time for him to overcome his guilt.

I reach his hand on the gearstick, "Do you want to stop at In-N-Out or something like that?" Jeremy glances at me then let out a deep chuckle. All his predicament is gone.

"You do know how to brighten my mood, Tara-Jane." He holds my hand and brings it closer to his lips. Kissing my knuckles. It leaves a tingling sensation where his lips touch my skin.

"But, please remember you're livin' on another State now. We don't have In-N-Out here, Honeysuckle."

I frown at the fact that there is no In-N-Out and his nickname for me. "Oh! that sucks," I cry.

"I know a place sellin' burgers."

Jeremy parks his car in front of a small building. There is a neon sign says 'Kirby's' above the roof. The place is packed when we are entering the building. Music is in full swing once we open the door. Jeremy leads the way.

"Good evening, Jeremy! It's been a long time since you came here, Son." Fat man with a round face greets Jeremy happily. His face lits up when he sees Jeremy on the line.

"Evenin', Kirby."

"Who's this pretty girl?" Kirby's eyes dart on me, he has a smiling eye.

"I'm Tara-Jane," I say with a smile.

"Pretty name for a pretty girl. Nice catch, Son," he winks at Jeremy. Then Jeremy responds with a chuckle. "She is the prettiest."

"Okay, lover. What do you like to eat?"

"A burger with extra cheese and meat, and cola for me. And an onion ring, please."

"Your appetite never falter, son."

"I am a grown man, Kirbs. What do you want, Tara-Jane?" He glances at me.

I say my order then Kirby announces an amount of money. Jeremy insists to pay. "I eat a lot, so it's on me." I let it slips this time. I'll pay him later. We pick a table near a window. We could see the sun sets in the west. The evening sky is tinged with a pink color.

"Is it counted as a date, Tara-Jane?"

"No, it's a supper." I smile.

He offers his amused grin and shakes his head. His grin grows wider when Kirby brings a tray full of our meal. Jeremy immediately devouring the food, as he used to be. His appetite never falter.

***

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