PART NINE | THE TOILET CONVERSATION
AND PHONE NUMBER

You don't need to compete. You already won.

Swimming in the middle of the night is not a good idea. Moreover, it was a chilly night. The next morning after breaking into Jeremy's uncle's mansion, I hardly lift my head from the pillow. My voice becomes croaky like a frog. I feel my nose produces excessive mucus so it plugged my airway, making me hard to breathe. The taste buds on my tongue undergoes sudden malfunction. A bowl of chicken soup Mom made for me is tasteless.

When I wake up on Monday morning I feel better, but I couldn't shake my throbbing pain in my head. I pull up the collar of my turtle-neck, hiding my nose. It might turn red by now because I sneeze very often. I walk fast on the empty hallway to reach the toilet. It is in the last period of the day. One more class and I could go home to sleep. Yet life is unfair. I have a cheerleading practice after class.

I push the door open revealing an empty toilet. It is a relief, I don't have to deal with anybody. Even a mere activity such as talking could make my migraine worsen. I turn on the water, start to clean my nose. The mucus has been distracting me from focusing on the class. I stare at my reflection on the mirror. Pale face with a red nose. I tear the toilet paper hanging beside the hand dryer, drying my nose and hands. I scrunch my nose when the paper touches my skin. It is rough, I wonder why the school doesn't provide a facial tissue instead.

There are 10 grey-colored bathroom stalls. It seems cold and dull. A sudden need to wee come at the right time. I walk to the end of the bathroom stalls, entering the furthest stalls from the door. Even though the toilet is empty I like to do my business as far as I could from anyone's hearing distance.

I lock the door resulting in a click sound echoing in the toilet. It takes a moment to finish my business. I am about to exit the stalls but I hear the door of the toilet pushed open. A loud bang follows after that, making me jolt in my place. A girl shushes then whispers in a low voice but not too low for me to hear.

"Don't be too loud. It's about Gwen."

A sheer amount of hesitation engulfs me when the girl says her name. I sit back to the toilet. The tension is suffocating, I don't dare to interrupt their conversation by exiting the stall right now. Besides, I could surely recognize it is Amy the senior cheerleader who is talking. I am not used to eavesdropping anyone but this is about Gwen. The girl I look up to, and I have been worrying about since she left.

"What is it about her?"

"Look."

There is a moment of silence. Then I hear a gasp.

"Are you sure that is her, Amy? I don't think—"

"Mon, you see it yourself. It is my cousin who sends me a photo." Her voice sounds annoyed.

"Oh, this is her. I can't believe it. What is she doing there? You know—" I realize that it is Monica, she never finishes her sentence. Something that she used to do.

"What do you think, Mon? Abortion."

I hold my gasp by covering my mouth. The picture of Gwen in a clinic crossing my head. It makes sense if she decides to skip school if this is the issue. She might be confused and scared.

"Listen, Mon. I don't care about her. But-" This time Monica is cutting Amy's sentence.

"You can't say that. She is our friend!"

"Nah, she never acts like one, Mon. She treats us like trash."

Monica doesn't respond.

"It's time for us to shine, babe. I'll be the next captain."

"Whatever, Am. But who's the father? That's not—"

"It must be him."

Their conversation stops when I hear the toilet door is quaking. Someone else enters the toilet. Then I hear footsteps nearing. I hold my breath, wishing it is not them. The culprit opens the stall door next to mine. I feel my body relax a bit, it is not Amy nor Monica. There are footsteps again and a door slams shut indicating their departure.

I count to ten. Then stand up to exit the stall. There is no sign of Amy and Monica. My heart is still thumping crazily inside my rib cage. The information I just heard, or overheard to be exact, causing a headache. I walk back to the sink to wash my hands. Holding tightly onto the sink I feel my surroundings start spinning.

"Hey, are you okay?" A girl touches my shoulder, making me jolt.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's the flu." I give her a reassurance smile.

I exit the toilet walking back to the classroom. The lecture might end soon as I check my watch.

"What took you so long? Are you okay?" Julia bombards with a low voice while I sit back on my chair beside her. Mr. Hattrick boringly explains something in front of the class. I nod to respond Julia.

"I overheard something about Gwen," I whisper to her ears when Mr. Hattrick writes on the whiteboard, his back facing us.

Julia cocks her eyebrow, "spill it."

I flicker to Mr. Hattrick direction, then I write on Julia's notebook.

She might be pregnant and doing an abortion.

"Shit," she curses too loud than she is intending to. I pinch her arm, annoyed by her reaction. Mr. Hattrick cranes his neck to our table.

"What is it, Julia?"

"No, sir. I dropped my pen."

"Don't curse at my class. Or else you'll get detention."

"Sorry, sir." Julia ducks her head, so am I.

"Stupid," I mutter under my breath.

Mr. Hattrick continues to explain something I don't interested in. Julia glares at me and giving me a 'we will talk later' look.

The bell is blasting. Julia tugs my arms, dragging me out of the classroom soon after Mr. Hattrick dismisses us.

"Is it true? About Gwen?"

I shush her, glancing around to check if anyone could eavesdropping our conversation. We are walking outside the building to the gymnasium. There is no one around us right now, fortunately.

"I overheard Amy and Monica's conversation. I don't know, Juls. It seems valid."

"I wonder who is the father," Julia trails off.

"They don't mention any specific names. But I think they knew."

"Yeah, they are pretty close to Gwen. They're best friends."

"Oh, I don't think so. Because you know what Juls? Amy said she doesn't care and Gwen treated them like trash."

"Tsk. Amy maybe just a jealous bitch."

"She said that she wants to be the next captain."

"What? Oh, no. Despite her party is awesome, I don't think she is good enough to be the captain," Julia scowls. "Speaking of the party, where were you that night? Oscar was calling me dozens times. Not that I complain to hear his sexy voice."

Her crush for my brother is disgusting sometimes. I roll my eyes at her.

"I went for fresh air with Jeremy." She doesn't need details.

Julia squeaking happily like a five-year-old child, "what's going on between you two?"

I shrug my shoulder, "nothing. We are just hanging out."

"Hanging out or making out?" She pokes my nose. I glare at her grumpily. I am suffering a nose clogged and she pokes it.

"Gross, we ain't do such things."

"Nah, not yet."

"Whatever, Juls."

Speaking of the devil, Jeremy appears in our vision. He is leaning against the wall beside the boys changing room, talking with his teammates. Jeremy tears his eyes from his teammates to see me walking to the girls changing room in front of him. He straightens his back as I come closer. His gaze boring into mine. I halt when Lux greets me. But all the boys are looking, smirking like hyenas.

"What's up, Tara?"

"Her anxiety levels," Julia remarks.

The group coos her sassy remarks.

"It seems a bit packed in the girls' room. You can change in our room, girls," Lux speaks with a disgusting smirk on his face. I wonder why Jeremy wants to be a friend with a pervert.

"Never in your wildest dream, dude." Julia glares at him. I could tell he is testing Julia's nerve right now.

Lux touches his chest as if he is in pain, "oh it hits right at the feel, sweetheart." The rest of the boys laughing. I glance at Jeremy. He keeps his quiet demeanor, watching his friends talking and laughing.

"Can I have your number, Tara?" Lux speaks again, making me avert my gaze from Jeremy.

"I thought you had my number." I glance at Jeremy and back to Lux.

"What?" Lux creases his forehead.

"Leave her alone, Lux." I hear Jeremy speaks with a monotonous voice.

"What is it, Jeremy? I don't have your number, Tara. If I had, I would be texting you every night."

I don't want him to text me every night. The urge to roll my eyes is unbearable but I manage to stay put.

"It's enough. Let's get to the field," Jeremy declares. Everyone grumbles but starts to leave the gymnasium. Lux gives up and jogs to the exit, joining the rest of the boys.

Jeremy stands still at his place. He rubs his neck and glances at Julia beside me. She senses he is glancing at her, "okay, I'll leave you two here." She rushes to the girl changing room with a mischievous grin.

"M'sorry about Lux and the boys."

"It's not your fault."

He steps closer, scrutinizing my face. "Are you okay?"

"I am okay. It's alright they are just boys."

"Nah, I mean you look sick." His hand reaches my cheeks. He caresses my cheeks with the back of his hand softly. His eyes are full of concerns. I feel my face is burning by his touch. But I struggle to keep calm.

"I got the flu."

"Oh girl, m'so sorry it must be the swimming session. That's why you didn't go to Sucré yesterday."

Swimming session? It sounds more like making out session in my ear. I shake my head to clear my mind.

"It's okay, Jer. I feel better."

"I'll drop you home after practice. Let me make it up for causing you sick, Tara-Jane."

I hesitate for a moment. "It is not necessary, Jer."

"I insist. See you after practice." Then he jogs away exiting the gymnasium.

I fan my face to ease my nervousness. Then I enter the changing room to find Julia grinning like a fool. The room is merely empty, it is just me, Julia, and two other girls from the team. The door quakes open revealing Amy and Monica. They usually come together with Gwen, reeling on her heels. Their conversation at the toilet comes to my mind. It seems right, they are not Gwen's friends. They are just following Gwen to get the attention.

Amy glances at me. She walks closer with her fake smile plastered on her face. Her hips swaying as she walks.

"Hey, Tara. I need to talk to you."

I look up to her face. There is a lump on my throat. My stomach gets nauseous. I could feel the migraine creeps back as she stares sharply at me.

Does she know that I was in the toilet eavesdropping their secret conversation?

***

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