*Alexs POV*

"Why the hell did you only bring me here? What about the Doctor and Rose? Jack, we need to go back for them!" I yelled at him. How could he do this?

"We are, Russo. Don't worry, I wanted to straighten some things out." Jack put both his hands behind his head. Why the hell is he relaxing right now?

"What do you want to straighten out, Jack? This really couldn't have waited till after we've dealt with your stupid ambulance?" I crossed my arms at him.

"No." Jack stared at me, with a blank expression, "let's talk to them first, let them know I didn't brutally murder you." I watched as Jack fondled with some of his controls, "Rose? Doctor? Can you hear us? Russo and I are back on my ship, I used the emergency teleport. Sorry I couldn't take you." Jack continued to mess around with the controls, "it's security keyed to my molecular structure. I'm working on it, hang in there."

"How're you speaking to us?" I heard the Doctors voice. I let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness he's okay.

"Om-Com. I can call anything with a speaker grille." Jack smiled.

"Now there's a coincidence."

I looked at Jack, as if he'd know, "what is?"

"The child can Om-Com too." The Doctor replied bluntly. Well fuck.

"Anything with a speaker grille. Even the Tardis phone."

"Seriously?" Wow this kid is a freak. The Tardis phone isn't even real. Actually ... I don't know. The Tardis is very strange.

"You mean the child can phone us?" Rose sounded scared. I wish I was still drunk, then I wouldn't have to die sober.

"And I can hear you. Coming to find you. Coming to fiiiiind you." Well fuck you and the horse you road in on, you creepy little fuck.

"I hope your 'mummy' slaps the shit outta you." I yelled into the speaker.

"Russo." Jack shook his head at me in disapproval. "Doctor, can you hear that?"

"Loud and clear."

"I'll try to block out the signal. Least I can do." Jack sounded a bit sincere, still mad at him though.

"Coming to find you, mummy!"

"Remember this one, Rose?" Jack put on Glenn Miller, 'Moonlight Serenade.'

"I do, you two were dancing and Rose took my champagne away." I rolled my eyes. I know she can't see me, but I hope she can tell by my tone that I did.

"Well someone had too!" Rose groaned into the speaker.

"Talk soon." Jack shut the speaker grille off and turned to me, "I have to know. Why did you shut me out?"

"This definitely could've waited, Jack." I shook my head at him, "I told you before, I was embarrassed." I tucked my hair behind my ear, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Why were you embarrassed? It's me. You're good old brother, Jack." I shook my head at him, biting my lip. He grabbed both my hands, squeezing them tightly, "Alex. I was so damn worried about you. I even went to grandfather asking him if he knew anything." Jack bit his lip, "I was so scared that," he paused, "I was going to get a call from Justin saying you killed yourself." I heard him gulp, "Alex, I don't understand why you're embarrassed. You told me for a reason. You called me for a reason. How could you act like I didn't exist after telling me something like that?"

I instantly burst into tears, "Jack, I'm sorry. I truly am. I just didn't know what to do. I wanted to leave New York. Staying in that apartment made me feel so much worse. I shouldn't have shut you out. I'm sorry that I did. I just didn't know what to do. I wanted to leave everything from New York behind. I wanted a fresh start."

"Without me? Without your family? You even left Harper behind." Jack shook his head at me.

"Jack, you're not understanding. Being in New York, knowing I could bump into Mason and Juliet on the street made me feel trapped. I had to leave." I continued crying and Jack pulled me into a tight hug.

"I just wanted to know if you were okay. You scared me so much Alex." Jack held onto me tighter, "you're like my twin sister. We always shared the same thoughts, did the same crazy spells to our families. Come on, even grandfather nicknamed us as the 'delinquent twins!' He knew we would be the cause of the Wizard World burning. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"I'm sorry.." I continued to cry into Jacks shoulder, "I should've called you. I'm sorry that I didn't."

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you were in a bad state and I really do understand you wanting to leave. I'm sorry I got so furious with you before, your boyfriend probably hates me more than Mason did." I laughed into his neck, probably to be honest. "I'm proud of you for overcoming your fear of love, Russo."

"I'm sorry, Jack."

"It's alright. You're okay now. At least somewhat better?" I nodded into his shoulder, "I gotta feeling there's something else. What was bothering you when I saved you and Rose?" I pulled away from him, shaking my head. God if I tell this kid what I was thinking before I'm toast. "What is it?" Jack tilted his head at me, waiting for me spill the tea.

I took a deep breath, tucking my hair behind my ear, "well did Crumbs tell you that I sorta died a couple days ago?" Jacks jaw dropped and his eyes widened, "judging by your face I'm gonna take that as a no. Well you know how I'm connected to time?" He nodded, "there was a paradox in time and I died because of it but it's okay, I'm fine now." Jack nodded for me to continue. "Well I was in a healing coma for two weeks and I just feel like I'm better off dead. I didn't deserve to have your grandfather, Justin, and the Doctor trying to save me. I deserved what came to me. I honestly feel like I shouldn't be alive right now. I don't deserve this, Jack. I wish I died,"-

"Alex. Don't you dare even finish that sentence." Jack held onto my hands tighter, "the universe needs you, Russo. Stop letting your insecurities get the best of you. They don't define you. Russo. Does the Doctor know about this?" I shook my head at him, "well you need to tell him." I shook my head again, "don't even start with that bullshit about how you think he'd be better off with someone else Russo, I know he cares about you. He wouldn't have been protecting you from those mummy chanting freaks or even from me. I was an ass back there. You can't run from these things, Russo. They will always catch up to you because they're apart of you. You have to talk to him."

"I can't! The Doctor sat there for two weeks just waiting for me to wake up, I can't do that to him. Do you know how selfish that is?" I shook my head at Jack.

"It's not selfish if it's how you feel, Russo. If you feel that you should be dead and that you're a burden to everyone, you need to tell him. Let him know how you feel. If he gets mad at you for that then that's his problem. If he gets mad I'll handle it, along with grandfather, Justin, and your dad." Jack shook his head at me, "I'd say Max too, but he's too much of an idiot to understand." We both laughed. If anyone can actually tolerate Max's short attention span, it's Jack.

"He'd probably give the Doctor a high-five." Our laughing got louder. I know I'm right. He gave Mason a high-five after he told Juliet he never stopped loving her. Idiot.

"But anyway, I know the Doctor's not going to be mad at you, Russo. You're just scared to talk to him. You need to move on, past that point. The Doctor's not going to judge you Alex, you literally got drunk during a London Blitz and he didn't judge you then. I doubt he's going to judge you when you talk to him about this. I don't think there's anything to judge past that." Jack laughed at me. "Does he know about your past?" Jack tilted his head at me.

I nodded, "yeah I told him."

"And how'd he take it? Did he judge you?"

"No. He told me to let him in. Allow him to help me be happy." I bit my lip at Jack.

"And you're so nervous why?" Jack laughed at me, "you're something else, Russo. You're totally blind at how much he cares about you. I'm telling you, tell the Doctor. I think you'd feel better if you did. The way you two look at each other," Jack shook his head at me, "trust me Russo, you'll feel better if you let him help. If he got you to change your mind about love, then this man could probably do anything." I bit my lip, "Russo, you're telling him. I'll tell him if I have to."

"Jack, don't you dare!" I crossed my arms at him. Jack smirked at me and turned to his controls, flicking some switches.

"If ever he was a captain, he's been defrocked." I heard the Doctor talking. Ugh fuck. He's gonna be so pissed. I can already tell by his voice he's not in the best mood.

"Yeah? Shame I missed that." Rose said with a sassy tone.

"Actually, I quit. Nobody takes my frock." Jack spun around in his chair, smirking at the Doctor and Rose. "Most people notice when they've been teleported. You guys are so damn weird. Sorry about the delay. I had to take the nav-com offline to override the teleport security."

"You can spend ten minutes overriding your own protocols? Maybe you should remember whose ship it is." The Doctor rolled his eyes at Jack.

"Oh, I do. She was gorgeous. Like I told her, be back in five minutes." Jack smiled at the thought of the girl and I shook my head. He really hasn't changed.

"This is a Chula ship." The Doctor said looking around. Well love, Rose and I told you that when we were still at the hospital.

"Yeah, just like that medical transporter. Only, this one is dangerous." The Doctor snapped his fingers and his hand is instantly surrounded by nanogenes.

"Those are what fixed my hands up! Alex called 'em, um..." Rose started at the Doctors hand.

"Nanogenes." I nodded to Rose.

"Nanogenes, yeah." Rose smiled back at me.

"Sub atomic robots. There's millions of them in here, see? Burned my hand on the console when we landed, all better now. They activate when the bulk head's sealed. Check you out for damage, fix any physical flaws." The Doctor waved his hand and the nanogenes disappeared.

"What were you guys doing?" I raised an eyebrow at Rose and the Doctor.

Rose grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my chair. "Did you know your boyfriend dances? Alex, you love to dance right?"

I tucked my hair behind my ear, "not really, to be honest."

"Alex loves to dance!" Jack leaned forward a bit and pushed me into the Doctor. The Doctor shifted away from me awkwardly. I sat back down, frowning a bit. I fucked up didn't I?

"Take us to the crash site. I need to see your space junk." The Doctor said to Jack firmly.

"As soon as I get the nav-com back online." Jack nodded to the Doctor, trying to reassure him. "Make yourself comfortable." Jack spins his chair around and looked at me. He gave me a look to go and talk to the Doctor. I'm not doing it now! "Do it now." Jack yelled / whispered to me.

"No. You and Rose are here. I'll talk to him about it later." I shook my head at Jack.

"Doctor?" Jack smirked at me, "Russo needs to talk to you." I glared at Jack, "you're welcome." He patted me on the shoulder.

I got up out of my chair, letting Rose sit down. I walked over to where the Doctor was sitting. I stood in front of him, he didn't looked up at me, just continued to play with his thumbs. I crouched down to him, taking both his hands. "Doctor?"

The Doctor didn't look up at me, "do you have a past with Jack?" I swallowed, no not in the way the Doctor's thinking I don't. I shook my head at him, "you wrote him a song?"

Well fuck. There it is. "Doctor, Jack and I sort of have a past together, but not in that way." I squeezed his hands tighter, "Jack and I were really close when we were younger. But I did some screwed up shit and we talked about it. We're good now. Doctor it's not like that, it never was." I shook my head again, "and the song's not a love song. It's funny. You don't need to worry about a stupid song." I put one of my hands on his cheek, making him look at me.

"What did you do?" The Doctors stare hardened at me, "did you tell him you loved him or something?"

I bit my lip, "Doctor, I don't think now's the time to talk about I did." I shook my head at him.

"Well I need to know. Do you still love Jack?" The Doctor whisper / yelled at me.

"Doctor, I told you it was never like that. Can we please just talk later?" I mumbled, biting my lip.

"Why can't we now? Or is it because your ex boyfriend is sitting five feet away?" The Doctor shook his head and rolled his eyes at me.

"For the last time, Jack and I were never like that. I'm telling you the truth. Believe whatever you want." I pulled my hands away from his.

"I'm believing what's right in front of me." The Doctor rolled his eyes back at me. Screw you. I'm telling you the truth.

I shook my head at him, "you're not even listening to me, Doctor. If I'm telling you nothing went on, then nothing went on.

"How can I even believe you? You're lying to me, Alex. The one person that I trust the most, is lying to me. Tell me, how would you feel?"

"You actually think that I would lie to you about something like that? Do you think I don't have any respect for you? Doctor, you're the one person that I have never lied to." I whisper / yelled at him, "do you really think that I would lie to you the way Mason lied to me?" I shook my head at him, "thought you knew me better than that." I stood up, walking over to Jack and Rose. I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears in. "Can you do a scan for Wiztech and find my wand please." I crossed my arms at Jack.

"Sure." Jack nodded at me. Rose gave me a worried look, but I ignored her as I stared out the window. "Russo, I hate to tell you but nothings coming up on the scanner. I think it's gone." Jack shook his head at me. Well this has been a great fucking day.

I sat down on the floor, between Jack and Rose. They tried to include me in their conversation, but I didn't really care enough to be apart of it. Does the Doctor seriously think that I was in love with Jack? Ew. Gross. He's always been like a best friend and a brother to me. As Jack and I got older, I'd go into the Wizard World to visit him. Everywhere we'd go in the World, other Wizards would call us the 'delinquent twins.' Whenever we were together we were always up to no good and it's sad that everyone knew it. Something was definitely getting blown up that day. Jack and I shared the same thoughts, actions, same issues with our families, and we even have the same birthday. Jack's two minutes older than me. I never looked at Jack as anything more than a brother. Why the fuck won't the Doctor listen to me?