Hey guys! If you've read some of my other stories, you know the characters have some sort of mental health issue. Just wanted to warn you about this chapter, it does touch base with that, so if you get triggered easily, please skip it:) But if any of you guys need to talk, my messages are always open:)

*The Doctors POV*

I stood outside the Tardis, smiling as I saw Alex's surprise was ready. I can't wait to see her reaction. I hurried inside and saw that the Tardis already popped her wand out. I grabbed it, heading out the door and to Alex's flat.

There was a note on her door, 'meet you on the roof, - Alex ♥' I put the note in my jeans pocket and went up another floor to get to the roof. I opened the door, "don't bother coming over here if you don't have my wand." Alex had her back to me, sitting on the carpet. I smiled, she was still wearing my jacket.

"Got it right here." I walked over to Alex, handing it over.

"What did big ears do to you?" She hugged her wand, I rolled my eyes. Wizards and their wands. Hold on..

"Wait, what did you call me?" I pouted at her.

Alex burst into a fit of giggles and I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't help it, I liked her laugh. It was so contagious. "Where do you wanna go, Doctor?"

"Anywhere you'd like."

"Doesn't help me. What do you want to see?" Alex smiled up at me.

"Doesn't matter." I shrugged, making her roll her eyes at me.

"Jesus, are you always this difficult?" I chuckled at her, Alex squinted her eyes, going into deep thought. I smiled again, she's so cute when she does that. "I know where to go." I raised my eyebrows at her and Alex just patted the carpet. I sat behind her and she elbowed me, "are you readyyy?"

"Yeah." I laughed. I felt myself jump a bit when we started to move. I quickly wrapped my arms around her, holding on tight.

"If you're gonna throw up, throw up that way." Alex pointed to the right, over the carpet.

"Noted." She laughed and I held on tighter as we went higher and faster. "They have traffic lights up here?" My eyes widened as we stopped at one.

"Yeah, birds aren't the best flyers." Alex laughed at me. "You doing okay though?"

"This is pretty nice." Alex really thinks I don't know that she loved the adventure we had on Platform One. Gotta throw that 'it's nice,' right back at her. I looked over the sides of the carpet, seeing London thousands and thousands of feet under us. "You have to teach me how to fly a carpet."

Alex laughed again, "only if you teach me how to fly the Tardis."

"Deal." I held on tighter as the light turned green.

"Wanna do something cool?" Alex smirked at me, making her eyebrows dance.

"Yeah." I laughed out. This was absolutely fantastic. I didn't think I'd ever get to ride a magic carpet, at least not in this lifetime.

"Hold on tight." I didn't think it was possible, but I held on tighter. I screamed a bit, not expecting her to flip us upside down and spin around in all different directions. It was almost like a rollercoaster.

"Wow." Alex slowed down, letting me look over the sides of the carpet.

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"Alex, we've been flying for over an hour and we're over the ocean! Where are we going?" I complained to her.

"We're almost there actually." Alex turned her head to smile up at me and it made my hearts flutter. "Alright Doctor, you've got a Tardis, that can go anywhere in time and space, but have you ever flown the Tardis underwater?" I raised an eyebrow at her, which made her smirk. Alex took her wand out from her boot and what looked like a glass appeared around us. I touched it and looked back at Alex, she was grinning. I know that grin. That's the grin I give when I'm taking my companion somewhere and I won't tell them. Oh god. "Hold on, Doctor."

"Oh my god, Alex!" I held on tighter and shut my eyes, as we started plummeting to the ocean. I shoved my face in her neck, not wanting to see my own death. Alex smells really good though, like vanilla. 'Seriously Doctor, now?' I thought to myself.

"Doctor, it's alright open your eyes." Alex nudged my face out of her neck and made me look around. Oh my lord we were underwater and still alive! Wow, it was actually... Gorgeous. We were gliding right past fish, eels, coral reefs, it was impeccable. "Judging by your face, I'm guessing you like it?"

I looked down at Alex, not noticing she was staring at me. "I love it. It's really nice down here." I smiled, looking away from her and to the underwear creatures.

"Nice? I can do better than nice." The carpet sped up, making me slam into Alex. We were zipping right through the ocean until we came to a sudden stop.

"How bout now?" I looked around, she's out doing herself. She's really trying to get me to tell her how much I love this. Which I do. Don't really want to give her that satisfaction though... But knowing Alex, she'll probably take me everywhere until I say it. "We're in a school of sharks." I looked around, seeing a lot of sharks swimming past us, I was a bit nervous, being how many feet deep underwater, passing a huge amount of sharks. Alex seemed to be calm about it though, so I forced myself to stay calm.

"Have you done this before?" I smirked at her.

"Course. Don't worry Doctor, sharks are my favorite ocean predator. Before I went traveling with you, I used to do this about three times a week. They can't smell our blood, the glass around us is too thick. They just carry on like we're not here." Alex grabbed my hand, facing away from the top of the carpet, where she should be flying it. I guess I looked at her shocked that she moved away when she was supposed to be driving, "magic carpets have autopilots too, Doctor." I smiled a bit, turning my head to watch the sharks carry on.

"Alex." She turned her head to look at me, "this is fantastic." Alex ran her thumb over my knuckles, smiling at me. She laid down on the carpet, watching the sharks go by. I laid down with her, trying my hardest not to stare at her. Alex looked so beautiful, just laying there, in her own thoughts. I wanted to ask her about the scars on her arm, but I felt afraid to. We were how many miles away from the Tardis, I didn't want to set her off again and ruin this. I know she's happy right now. I could tell just by her eyes, they're gleaming. It was nice, laying next to her on a magic carpet, holding hands, and watching the sharks go by. It was almost like an unofficial first date. I don't want to ruin this for either of us.

"What?" I blinked like a deer in headlights, I didn't realize I zoned out on her. "What's wrong? Do you not like it here? Do you want to go someplace else?" Alex sat up and stared at me.

"No, no. This is fantastic, Alex." I smiled at her. She gave me a look, not believing me.

"I'll do the truth spell if I have too, Doctor." Alex raised her eyebrows at me.

"You wouldn't." I sat up a little, leaning on my forearm, and letting go of her hand. Alex tilted her head at me and took her wand out of her boot, pointing it directly at me. Or maybe she would... I sighed, "I don't think now's a good time to talk about it."

"Why not? We're in the middle of the ocean, no one can interrupt... Well, maybe a shark if they're feeling nosy." Alex giggled, "besides, what's a better place? And don't say the Tardis!" Alex laughed again and she playfully shoved me. "Tell me, what's up?"

I'm good at reading people. From what it seems, especially Alex. It's almost like she wears her heart on her sleeve, but doesn't want a soul to ask. I stared at her, her eyes told me she was worried. I didn't want her to be worried. I'm the one that's worried right now. Yeah, I don't know what happened or what caused Alex to do that, but I don't want to see her in that type of pain.

Alex's a beautiful girl. I have no idea why, but I'll admit, I'm so damn attracted to her. There's something different about her. Not bad different, good different. I won't tell a soul, but she's absolutely breathtaking. When I'm around Alex, I feel like my hearts are going to burst out of my chest. And when I'm not, I want to be around her, all I can think about is the time remaining till I can see her again. I haven't known her for long, but I feel like I know her. Like I know her soul and her heart all together.

But I don't. I know basic things, where she's from, that she has powers, her sarcasm, her hatred for annoying people like Harriet. But I've also picked up on the fact that for someone so straightforward, she's actually quite guarded. I don't know what caused her to hurt herself. Before, when I sort of made a move on her, she seemed afraid of me. I want to know more. I would never want to see Alex at the point where she felt like that was the only thing to do. I don't even know where to begin with this. I know how closed off she can get. One wrong move and I'm toast.

I sighed and sat up, "Alex, when you passed out, I saw your wrist." She looked a little taken back, but didn't say anything. "What happened? If you don't mind me asking. Please don't get angry. From what I've learned, you don't talk about your feelings, but I think you should, I think it would help." I chewed the inside of my lip, feeling nervous about what she was going to say back to me. I hope I didn't just ruin this.

Alex had a small smile on her face, "Doctor, I told you on the roof I would talk to you and I meant it." She sighed, "well, I guess if you wanna know," I nodded at Alex, holding her hand tightly again, "I started uh, self harming in high school, but I only did it once then. Justin found out and quickly told our parents. Whether Justin admits it or not, he's quite protective over me." Alex looked out the glass, looking at the sharks swimming by, not making eye contact with me. "Then after Mason left again, I guess I just felt... numb. I wanted to feel something again." I felt my hearts drop.

I was so scared to ask. "Were you ever...?" I don't know if I actually want the answer to that. But I also feel like I need it.

"Yes." No. Not my Alex. No. I don't know what I'd be doing right now without my Alex. 'You wouldn't be surrounded by sharks that's for sure'. Shut up! Stupid brain. I also wouldn't have someone who doesn't look at me like the monster I am. Take that brain. "I tried too, but then shortly after, found out I was immortal, which at the time I thought was weird because my family and I knew Max wasn't." I gave her a questionable look, "don't ask. I told you he's not the smartest person. But then, I found out Justin is too, it runs on my dad's mother's side."

"Why did it get that far?" That sounded horrible. I paused, "I didn't mean it like that. I meant-"

Alex nodded at me, thankfully understanding. "Well, when Mason left, I was," she paused, "a wreck. My heart was completely broken, the first time. I never knew I could sink lower than that." She bit her lip, "after we broke up again, I stayed in the apartment we bought together. But staying in there, made me feel so much worse. It was a daily reminder that he was gone. So I packed up everything and I came to London looking for a fresh start. I mean I got one, but I was still a basket case. I mean yeah, I had my family, Rose and Mickey, but I missed Mason so much at the time and I felt like I was ruined because he fell out of love with me when I was still so in love with him. I felt like I was never going to get past it. Then I tried to uh, kill myself, but Mickey found me passed out with a bottle of pills. Even though I felt completely fine after taking the whole bottle, Mickey didn't let me out of his sight. That's how I knew where the vinegar in his apartment was." Alex tucked her hair behind her ear, not making eye contact with me. Ah, it all makes sense now. "That's why I got upset when Mickey called me a 'thing'. He knows that I don't handle shit like that well."

"How long were you and Mason together?" I bit my lip.

"Too long." Alex shrugged to me as she let out a dry laugh.

"You're not ruined because of him, Alex." I held her hand tighter. Is this why Alex shuttered away from me when I asked her about her past before? Because she's scared to have feelings for someone?

"Yes, I am." Alex shook her head at me, "I don't think I will ever get into another relationship again because of him. I'm too afraid to. People's feelings change like the seasons. Like he said, he got tired of loving me." Mason was honest about his feelings when he left Alex, but maybe a little too honest. She turned to look at me, "imagine that, having someone fall out of love with you the same way they gained it?" Alex looked back to the glass. "That one day, they'll just look in my eyes and instead of seeing swirls of hazel and brown, they'd just see a pair of shitty eyes staring back at them. That one day, they won't think of my smile as something contagious, they'll just force one out of themselves for me. What if instead of thinking I'm stubborn, it will just turn into me refusing to compromise? That my spontaneous behavior becomes careless behavior to them? Falling in love is only at the end, love only rises the more attached you get to the person. You go higher and higher, until you fall, splat on the ground, because it's over." She used her other wrist to wipe away her tears.

"Alex, not every man is like Mason." I grabbed her other hand, so that I was holding both tightly, "don't be afraid to love because of him."

"I am. How can I even look at the idea of love the same after that? I'm not blaming Mason for leaving, I'm a shitty person, I see why he left." Her voice cracked and a couple more tears rolled down her cheeks. "But I never imagined that he would actually get tired of loving me."

I scooted closer to her, cupping her cheeks in my hands, and wiping her tears with my thumbs. She nuzzled into them slightly, making me smile a bit. "Alex, it wasn't you that caused him to feel that way. It was him, he wasn't ready for what you brought to the table." Alex shrugged at me. "It's true, Alex, you're an amazing Wizard, despite what you may think of yourself. You're absolutely beautiful, you're brilliant, you've saved the world how many times? You don't take nothing from nobody." She laughed at me. "And you can fly a carpet. That's pretty amazing if you ask me." Alex laughed again and I continued to wipe her tears with my thumbs. "Sweetheart, if I could give you anything, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Then you'd realize how special you are to the universe and to me." Is Alex actually special to me or am I just lonely like her? She smiled a bit into my hands. "You need to stop seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who doesn't value you, Alex. I know it hurts to release what you put all your time and energy into, but letting go of someone who overlooks you, is the best thing for your future." She gave me a small smile, "Alex, please just let me in. Let me be the hope that you're looking for. Let me take away all your pain. I'm not going to hurt you. Just let me in, Alex. Please." Her eyes slightly widened at me, making me feel even more nervous than I already am. I felt like both my hearts were going to explode.

Alex stared at me, long and hard. I knew she was thinking cause her eyes were squinting. Oh no, I'm such an idiot. I shouldn't have said any of that. I definitely just pushed her away even more. "How do you protect your heart from someone who's trying so hard to get in, but you're just afraid he'll turn out like everyone else?"

"I told you Alex, I'm not like everyone else. I'm not going to hurt you like everyone else has." I rubbed my thumbs gently on her cheeks. She looked so beautiful right now. Tears or not, Alex was heavenly. I stared at her lips, they were a perfect pink. They looked so soft, god I just wanted to kiss them. I want to know what it would be like to kiss her. I looked back into her eyes, she was right. They are a lovely hazel / brown. Her eyes seemed to be bursting with streaks of gold from the glasses reflection in them. I got so lost in her eyes that I felt myself moving closer to her, until her lips were on mine. I hesitated, not knowing if she was going to pull away or not. Alex wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling herself closer to me. Okay so she's not pushing me off, that's a good sign.

I deepened the kiss, feeling the fire in my bones and my hearts skipping multiple beats. I moved my hands to her waist, trying to get her even closer. She must've read my mind because she shifted so she was in my lap. She wasn't straddling me, she was more in a position to be cradled. I moved my hands up to her hair, running my fingers through it, let me tell you, it was so soft. I licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance, to my surprise, she accepted. My tongue instantly started fighting hers for dominance. Alex moved one of her hands and placed it gently on my cheek, rubbing her thumb in circles. She whimpered, realizing I was winning our tongue battle. She pulled away, keeping her hand on my cheek. The corners of my lips turned up and I leaned forward, giving her a small peck. Alex nuzzled close into my chest, her arms still around my neck. I moved my hands around her waist, holding her tightly. I like the feeling she gives me. I know she's afraid of love and boyfriends, but I'd be willing to wait. I'm not going to let her slip through my hands.

A few minutes went by and we didn't say anything. Not that it mattered, we were just enjoying each other's embrace. "Come on, let's go back, I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?" Alex raised her eyebrows at me, still in my lap.

"What surprise would it be if I spoiled it?" I chuckled at her. Alex rolled her eyes at me. Her eyes were flickering to my lips and it almost seemed like she was debating on kissing me again. I leaned forward a little and kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around my neck and was pulling me close again. She was kissing me so gently, her lips were so soft, and the way her lips fit perfectly against mine, god I never wanted to break away. She sat up, taking the carpet off autopilot and headed back to the surface. I still held onto her, putting my face in her neck. She smelt so good.

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After we put the carpet back in her flat, we headed to the Tardis. "Are you ready for your surprise?" I grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the Tardis.

"Yes, Doctor!" Alex laughed at me. She's gonna love it!

"Come on!" I pulled her all the way there, but stopped a few feet in front of the Tardis. "Take out your wand."

She raised an eyebrow at me but did it. "Okay."

"Do you remember when I gave Rose a key and not you?" Alex frowned a bit and nodded. I pulled her to the Tardis. "See that hole?" I pointed to it, right under the keyhole, "the Tardis and I made it special for you. It's your own key slot. It'll only open to your wand." She looked at me with an eyebrow raised, "go on! Try it." She put her wand in the hole, turning it. The Tardis door unlocked and her face lit up.

"Oh my god, Doctor! That's so cute! Thank you." Alex wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into a tight hug. She looked so perfect when she was happy.

Alex lifted her legs up, hanging on me. I laughed at her, leaving an arm on her back to support her. "What're you a monkey?" Alex giggled and kissed me. Not going to lie, I was a little shocked. Because of her fear, I expected me to be doing flirty or kissing things, I guess not. Not that I have a problem with it. I still kissed her back and I felt my hearts dancing around in my chest. I pulled away and walked into the Tardis with Alex still hanging on me. I set her down on the jump seat and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

I moved away from Alex to call Rose. "Right, I'll be a couple of hours, then we can go."

"Since when do you have a phone?" I rolled my eyes, seriously? Of course I've got a phone.

"You think I can travel through space and time and I haven't got a phone? Like I said, a couple of hours. I've just got to send out this dispersal. There you go. That's cancelling out the Slitheen's advert in case any bargain hunters turn up. Spend some time with your mum in the meantime."

"My mum's cooking."

"Good! Put her on a slow heat and let her simmer." I laughed through the phone, getting a giggle out of Alex.

"She's cooking tea for us." Yeah, no. I don't do such things.

"I don't do that." Alex looked at me worriedly, but I ignored it.

"She wants to get to know you."

"Tough! I've got better things to do!" Alex glared at me and I bit my lip.

"It's just tea."

"Not to me it isn't." I shook my head.

"She's my mother." Rose continued to press, silly Rose, I don't do such things. I'm not going. Sorry.

"Well, she's not mine!" I yelled through the phone.

"That's not fair!"

"Told you, I'm sending out a dispersed signal, I'll be back in a couple hours. I'm not having tea with your mum, Rose, end of discussion." I hung up the phone and I turned around to the jump seat to see Alex gone. Oh bloody hell.