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I Wanna Poke Her Brain With A Stick

*The Doctors POV*

I woke up to a loud bang in the hallway. I turned over, seeing Alex was gone, and I sighed. Oh no. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. The door swung open, revealing Alex carrying a tray that looked bigger than her. She gave me a huge smile, which sort of terrified me a bit, knowing her. "What was that noise?"

Alex put the tray down on her bed, "don't worry about it." She climbed into bed, sitting on her knees like a four year old, "I made you breakfast! And I didn't use any sort of magic!" Alex threw her arms up and I chuckled at her. "If it tastes like shit then I'll use magic to fix it. Try it!" I honestly didn't know what to expect, so I was a bit nervous. I cut into a piece of the french toast, slowly putting it in my mouth. It was surprisingly really good. "Do you like it? Should I have used magic?"

"No sweetheart, it's perfect. Thank you." I kissed her forehead and continued to eat. I split the french toast with her, knowing she's hungry. "What was that loud bang outside?"

"Nothing." Alex tried looking innocent, batting her eyes and giving me a sweet smile. But she knew I didn't buy it for a second, yet still continued to give me that look.

I moved the tray and placed it on the ground, scooping her into my lap, "are you sure that bang was nothing?" I raised my eyebrows at her. She nodded and I shook my head. "Alright." I looked at the ground and then back at her and started tickling her. "How about now? You still think it was nothing?" She tried fighting her way off my lap, but was failing miserably. I loved tickling Alex, she hated it so much. I watched as Alex was trying to reach for her wand and I kicked it off the bed, continuing to tickle her.

"Fine! I dropped the orange juice. Don't worry though, I cleaned it up!" She laughed out.

I shook my head, laughing at her. She better have cleaned it up or the Tardis will be angry with her. "Thank you for breakfast, love." Alex giggled at me and I put my hand on her cheek, making her lean forward. I kissed her gently, feeling her wrap her arms around my neck. I enjoyed kissing Alex, I could do it all day if she'd let me. Her lips fit perfectly with mine and it made my hearts skip a couple beats. I ran my fingers slowly through her long brown hair, pulling her close. She pulled away, nuzzling her face into my chest and wrapping her arms around my torso. "Come on, go get dressed. We have to take pretty boy on a trip today." I rolled my eyes at the thought of bringing him somewhere. Great.

"Be nice to him!" Alex rolled her eyes at me. I got out of her bed and walked to the console, messing around under the gated floor. "Doctor?"

I jumped a bit, not expecting Alex to be ready so fast. She probably did some spell to hurry up. Smart. At least I don't have to wait hours for her to get ready. "Yep?"

"I'm going to the library, love." She stuck her head under the floor, letting her hair hang upside down. Alex looked so cute when she did that.

I leaned forward, "be there in a bit." I kissed her gently. Alex giggled and I heard her leave the console.

I don't really know what I was doing to the Tardis. But every time I messed around with the wires there was always something amazing that I never knew she could do. I hopped out of the floor and started walking to the library. I liked that Alex didn't wander off, that she told me where she was going. The library was just down the hallway and I heard Alex laughing. Her laugh was so contagious. "No, you didn't! You're lying!" I opened the door and saw Alex and Adam laughing hysterically, "you're a liar!" Adam pointed to Alex.

"Technically, yes, I am, but I'm not lying now! I'm dead serious. I made everyone forget him, then turned him invisible!" Alex laughed out.

"What did your parents say?"

"They didn't believe me when I first told them Justin was their son, but they came around." Alex continued to laugh, "it was so late at night that they didn't even care enough to punish me, they were just happy Justin was back."

"That's hilarious, you're brilliant." Adam put his hand on Alex's shoulder as they continued to laugh. I felt myself twitch. Why exactly is he touching her?

"Try telling that to my parents." Alex shook her head, still laughing. "Hi love." Alex waved to me.

"Hey Doctor." Adam turned to face me, "Lexie was just telling me a story about when she made everyone forget about Justin. She's hysterical." Adam continued to laugh. Lexie? I'm sorry, Lexie? Who the hell calls Alex, 'Lexie'? She doesn't even like to be called that. Why the hell is he calling her that?

"Yeah, I know." I sent Adam a glare. I know Alex is hilarious, I'm her boyfriend you idiot.

"I can't believe I didn't recognize you." Alex shook her head at Adam.

"What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow at them, "you two know each other?"

"Yeah!" Alex laughed at me, "he was Max's best friend when they were little."

"You see, my dad got promoted so we moved to New York for five years and I lived two houses away from Lexie." I cringed again. "You know her family makes the best subs in New York!"

"Yeah, I do." I rolled my eyes at Adam.

He didn't seem to care, he continued right on. "I basically lived with you guys for five years." Adam laughed as he explained. Yeah mate, I don't care about your story, just take your skinny arm off Alex and stop calling her Lexie.

"You really did! You slept over like five times a week. We could never get you to leave!" Alex laughed at Adam. I chewed on the inside of my lip, staring at Adam's hand on her shoulder. Why is it still there?

"Is Max still...?" Adam wore off, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

"Yep. He's such an idiot." Alex shook her head at again, making Adam laugh. "So what did you do after you left? Did you go to school? Or did you go straight to working for Van Statten?"

"I did go to school, graduated early. Can't help it, I'm a genius." Adam smiled at me. You're not a genius, Adam, you're an idiot. "What about you Lex, what did you do?"

"Nothing really. I didn't go to college. You know I was always getting into trouble at school, college wasn't a good fit for me."

"You're right, Lexie. I remember when you used to show up so late. You'd get to school with three periods left." Adam burst out laughing again. 

"I thought you hated being called Lexie?" I raised an eyebrow at Alex. They both turned their heads to me, looking at me with a questionable look. She just shrugged at me, turning back to Adam, and carrying on with their conversation. I bit my lip, clenching my fists.

I left the library, heading back to the console room. I sat in the jump seat, trying to think of a place to take Adam. I wanted to scare the socks off that boy, maybe he'll leave then. "Hi, Doctor. Where are we going today?" I looked up and saw Rose, standing in front of me with a big smile.

"Anywhere guys want." I shrugged. I snapped my head towards the hallway, hearing Alex laughing.

Alex smiled and jumped into my lap. "Where are we going, love?"

I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her forehead, "anywhere." Alex giggled and put her head on my chest. I saw Adam staring and I felt sorta proud. How mad would Alex be if I tossed him into a blackhole?

"Someplace in the future?" Rose asked, looking at Alex and Adam and who nodded in agreement. 

I moved Alex out of my lap, who pouted at me, and programmed the Tardis. I smiled, loving the wheezing sound the Tardis made when she landed. I grabbed Alex's hand, pulling her outside with me.

"So where are we?" Rose asked. I sighed, knowing she wanted to impress the idiot. I'd rather her try and impress him than Alex.

"Awe, is Rosie trying to impress pretty boy?" Alex pokes her arm. I frowned, why did I have to call him pretty yesterday? I hope that nickname doesn't stick.

"Shut up, Alex!" Rose playfully shoved her into my chest. I wrapped my arms around Alex, knowing she would definitely shove Rose back a lot harder. "Seriously, Doctor, where are we?"

"So, it's 200,000, it's a spaceship. No wait a minute, space station, and go and try that gate over there. Off you go!" I smiled at Rose, giving her my biggest grin. Alex wrapped her arms around my torso, smiling up at me. It made my hearts flutter.

"200,000?" Rose asked, as she smirked at us.

"200,000."

"Okay." Rose giggled as she opened the Tardis door, "Adam? Out you come." Adam steps out with his mouth hanging open. What an idiot, close your mouth or you're going to catch flies.

"Oh my god." He looked like he was going to faint. I chuckled to myself, shaking my head, I hope he does.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Alex giggled at him. I chewed on the inside of my lip again, feeling my blood boiling.

"Where are we?" Adam asked looking around.

"Good question. Let's see. So, judging by the architecture, I'd say we're around the year 200,000. If you listen," Rose put her hand to her ear, making Alex snort. Rose rolled her eyes at her and continued right on, "engines. We're on some sort of space station. Yeah. Definitely a space station. It's a bit warm in here, they could turn the heating down. Tell you what, let's try that gate. Come on!"

"'A bit warm in here'?" Alex mocked Rose. "It's hot as fuck in here. They need air conditioning." I pinched Alex's arm, Alex! Watch your language! She looked up at me and giggled.

"You're still so harsh." Adam laughed at Alex, who nodded back at him. How is that harsh? More blunt if you ask me. "You need to watch it." He smirked at her.

"Nah. There's no fun in 'watching it'. I'm gonna say whatever the hell I want to say." Alex giggled at Adam. I bit my tongue.

"Well, maybe if I try, I can be a good influence on you." Adam poked Alex's arm continuously.

"Awe," Alex placed her hand on his arm, "a lot of people have tried, good luck with that." She turned back to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the gates, with Rose and Adam following.

Alex opened the gate and we followed her in. Rose hurried over to the window, jaw dropped at the view. "Here we go! And this is... I'll let the Doctor describe it."

I'd love to see Rose explain this, that would be hilarious! "The fourth great and bountiful human empire. And there it is. Planet Earth at its height. Covered with megacities, five moons, population ninety-six billion." I wrapped my arms around Alex's waist, pulling her close to me, "the hub of a galactic domain, stretching across a million planets, a million species, with mankind right in the middle."  There was a loud sigh, I looked down and saw Adam passed out on the floor. Yes!!!

"He's your boyfriend." Alex smirked to Rose.

Rose sighed, "not anymore." She didn't even look at Adam, which made me laugh more.

Alex crouched down to Adam and gave me a glare. Why is she glaring at me? What did I do? Laugh because he fainted from a view? "Oh who am I kidding trying to glare at you, this kid fainted from a damn view." Alex burst out laughing.

Rose giggled and gave Adam a good slap to wake him up. I dragged Alex out of the room, putting my arms around her and Adam. "Come on, Adam. Open your mind. You're gonna like this fantastic period of history. The human race at its most intelligent, culture, art, and politics. This era has got fine food, good manners."

"Out of the way!" A man shoved us and food carts were set up, with people pushing past us to get some. "Fine cuisine?" Rose raised her eyebrows at me.

"My watch must be wrong." I wiggled my arm, looking at my watch. "No, it's fine. Weird."

"That's what comes with showing off. Your history's not as good as you thought it was." Alex teased me. I put both my arms around her and kissed her gently.

"My history's perfect." I rolled my eyes at Alex.

"Well, obviously not." Rose continued with the teasing. My history is perfect! It's better than anyone else's!

"They're all human. What about the millions of planets? The millions of species? Where are they?" Adam asked as he looked around the station.

"Good question. Actually, that is a good question. Adam, me old mate, you must be starving." I smiled at him.

"No, I'm just a bit time sick." Adam shrugged.

"He might not be starving, but I am." Alex rolled her eyes, heading over to one of the food carts.

"Nah, you just need a bit of grub." I tried to reassure Adam.

"Yo, how much for a cronk burger?" Alex asked, leaning against the cart.

"Two credits twenty, sweetheart." I grabbed Alex's hand, pulling her away from the man. I rolled my eyes, everyone's flirting with Alex today aren't they?

"Money." I snapped my fingers in Alex's face. "We need money." I walked over to a cash point, putting my sonic to it. A metal strip came out and I gave it to Alex.

"There you go, pocket money. Don't spend it all on sweets." I scolded at Alex. She seriously would.

Adam took it out of her hands, "how does it work?"

I turned around, rolling my eyes at the idiot, "go and find out! Stop nagging me! The thing is, Adam, time travel's like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guide book, you've got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers." Rose and Alex laughed at me, as Adam just looks even more confused. Keep up idiot. "Or is that just me?" I kissed Alex's cheek. "Stop asking questions, go on, do it!"

"Come on, Adam!" Alex grabbed his arm and pulled him to the cart. I sighed, she gave me the okay to throw a guy into a blackhole, might just take her up on that.

"Ooo is someone jealous?" Rose poked me and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Come on, let's go." I nodded to the two women talking far away from everyone else. We walked over and I gave them a friendly grin. "This is gonna sound daft, but can you tell me where I am?"

The one dark skinned woman stared blankly at me and then pointed to a huge sign on the wall. "Floor one hundred and thirty nine, could they write it any bigger?"

"Floor one hundred and thirty nine of what?" Rose shook her head at the two.

"Must've been a hell of a party." The dark skinned women shook her head right back at Rose. If she did that to Alex, her head would be through the wall.

"Oh, you're on Satellite Five." Her friend smiled at us. I like her friend better, she's a lot nicer.

I shrugged at them. "What's Satellite Five?"

"Come on, how could you get on board without knowing where you are?" The pantsuit shook her head at us. I'm not going to get anywhere with that girl am I?

"Look at us. We're stupid." Rose elbowed me in the gut, "I'm stupid." I corrected myself, seeing Rose had a big smirk on her face.

Her friend's eyes widened at us. "Hang on, wait a minute, are you a test? Some sort of management test kind of thing?"

I looked down at Rose, who nodded at me. "You've got us. Well done. You're too clever." I whipped out my psychic paper and flashed it to them.

"We were warned about this in basic training. All workers have to be versed in company promotion."

The rude woman stood up straighter, fixing herself, she looked me up and down. God I wish Alex was here to flash her to the sun. "Right. Fire away, ask your questions. If it gets me to Floor five hundred I'll do anything."

"Why, what happens on floor five hundred?"

"The walls are made of gold." Her eyes shined. "And you should know, Mr. Management." Stop looking at me like that. I don't appreciate it, thank you.

I felt a hand slip into mine and an arm wrap around my bicep, "you mind?" I looked down and saw Alex glaring at the dark skinned girl. "Take away all color and sound, this is where revenge is"-

"Alex!" Rose scolded at her, "she just wants a promotion." Rose whisper/yelled at Alex.

"Yeah, I'll give her a damn promotion." Alex squinted her eyes at the woman. I snorted at Alex, easy there love.

"At least you two are protective over each other." Rose rolled her eyes. Oh shut up, Rose. Like you wouldn't say anything if some woman was coming onto Mickey.

"Who does he have to be jealous over?" Alex laughed, "ooo Adam has my cronk burger!" Alex went running back to Adam. Rose raised her eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes. Alex is totally blind.

Rose and I turned our attention back to the two women we were talking to. I motioned for the dark skinned one to continue, she shifted awkwardly, but motioned for us to follow her. She led us to these screens, "so, this is what we do. Latest news, sandstorms on the new Venus archipelago. Two hundred dead. Glasgow water riots into their third day. Spacelane thirty-seven closed by sunspot activity. And over on the Bad Wolf channel, the Face of Boe has just announced he's pregnant."

"I get it. You broadcast the news." I shrugged to them.

"We are the news. We're the journalists. We write it, package it and sell it. Six hundred channels all coming out of Satellite Five, broadcasting everywhere. Nothing happens in the whole human empire without it going through us." There was a loud buzzing noise and everyone started off.

I walked over to Alex and pretty boy, "oi! Mutt and Jeff! Over here!" I motioned for them to hurry up. Alex skipped over to me, offering some of her fries. Holy cow, Alex finished her burger in like two minutes. I'm proud of her. Girl eats more than Rose and I combined.

"Alex, where the hell did you even come from before?" Rose snickered at Alex.

"What? I felt left out." Alex pouted to us. "We always interrogate people together." Oh it's alright sweetheart, seeing you get mad over Cathica, made me feel a bit better about Adam. Rose rolled her eyes and we continued following the women.

We walked into the room and I looked around. There is a chair in the middle of a raised platform and along the sides there were pads with hands on them. Cathica sat in the chair and the rest of the group sat on the floor. Alex rested her head on my arm, continuing to eat her fries.

"Now. Everybody behave. We have a management inspection." Cathica scolded everyone. She looked over at us, "how do you want it? By the book?"

"Oh, right from scratch, thanks." I smiled at her.

"Ok, so, ladies, gentlemen, multisex, undecided or robot, my name is Cathica Santini Kadainy. That's Cathica with a 'C' in case you want to write to floor five hundred praising me, and please do." I nodded at her, yeah right. If she's so clever she should've figured it out by now that we're not management. I heard a huff and looked down at Alex, if only she pieced it together that I don't like Adam as much as she doesn't like Cathica.

"And that's Cathica with a 'C'," Alex mocked her, I couldn't help but snort.

Cathica rolled her eyes at Alex, but continued on, "now, please feel free to ask any questions. The process of news gathering must be open, honest, and be non-biased. That's company policy."

"Actually, it's the law." Suki smiled at Cathica, earning a glare in return.

"Yes, thank you, Suki. Okay, keep it calm, don't show off for the guests, here we go." She laid down in the chair. "And, engage safety." The staff put their hands in positions.  Cathica snapped her fingers, and her forehead opened. "And three... two... and spike." From the contraption over the chair, a blue light spikes down into Cathica's brain, flowing into her.

"Compressed information, streaming into her. Reports from every city, every country, every planet, and they all get packaged inside her head. She becomes part of the software. Her brain is the computer." I nodded to Cathica.

"If it all goes through her, she must be a genius." Rose said with her eyes wide.

I shook my head at her, "nah. She wouldn't remember anything. There's too much, her head would blow up. The brain's the processor. As soon as it closes, she forgets."

"Ew. That's disgusting. I'm not even hungry anymore." Alex made a disgusted look at Cathicas head, then burst out laughing, "who am I kidding, I'm always hungry." And she continued to eat her fries. Alex pointed to the people along the edge, "so, what about all these people around the edge?"

"They've all got tiny little chips in their head, connecting them to her. They transmit six hundred channels. Every single fact in the empire beams out of this place. Now, that's what I call power."

"I wanna poke her brain with a stick." Alex squinted her eyes at Cathica.

"How did I know you were going to say that?" Adam shook his head at Alex, resting his hands on the railing.

"Alex! No. Just stand here and watch nicely." Rose scolded at Alex, making Alex roll her eyes.

"I'll never forget when you didn't recognize Dwayne Johnson and you told him that you like to poke things with a stick." Adam said laughing at Alex.

"That was a good day." Alex smirked at him. We get it! You guys know each other, can we please leave memory lane now?

"You didn't recognize Dwayne Johnson?" Rose scrunched up her face at Alex, who shook her head and continued to laugh.

"You okay, Adam? Is this too much for you?" I asked him, tilting my head.

"I can see her brain." I shook my head, I think we all can pal.

"Do you want to get out?" Alex moved away from me, going over to him.

"No. This technology, it's-it's amazing." Adams eyes widened at Cathicas' brain.

"This technology's wrong." I crossed my arms at him. Of course he would think seeing her brain is amazing.

"Trouble?" Rose smiled up at me.

"Oh yeah." Why wasn't Alex as interested as Rose? There was a weird sound and we turned around to see Suki, who gasped and took her hands out of position. The other members of staff were forced to lift their own hands too and the blue beam that's streaming into Cathica stopped and the door in her head closed. Suki rubbed her hands, breathing heavily. What the hell just happened?

"Come off it, Suki, I wasn't even halfway, what was that for?" Cathica scolded at her. Oh Cathica, you annoy me beyond words. I heard Rose snort, I looked at Alex and Rose, watching Rose bite her lip to keep from laughing. Do I even want to know what Alex said?

"Sorry, must've been a glitch." Suki replied, still rubbing her hands.

"Promotion." The computer's voice rang through on the loudspeaker and Cathica crossed her fingers, "this is it. Come on. God, make it me. Come on, say my name. Say my name, say my name."

"I honestly hope they don't say your name." Alex smirked at Cathica, who turned around and glared at her, "what? You're fucking annoying everyone in here. Just shut up and be patient about your promotion." I snorted, not expecting Alex to do that. I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into my side. "You good, Rose?" I looked over to Rose, whose face was beet red, biting onto her thumb to keep from laughing. "Let it out, Rose." Alex challenged Rose, but Rose didn't do anything but bite her thumb and get redder.

"Promotion for Suki Macrae Cantrell." Suki's mouth dropped open, while Cathica looked pissed. "Please proceed to floor five hundred." Alex hid her face in my neck to keep from laughing. I couldn't help but chuckle myself.

Alex threw her arms up, "okay, I had nothing to do with that." We heard Rose snort and we looked over at her. "Oh Rosie, you look like you're about to burst into tears." Alex put her hand on Rose's arm, "just let it out." Rose shoved her face in her shirt, ignoring Alex.

I turned my attention back to Suki, who was still starstruck over her promotion. "I don't believe it. Floor five hundred."

"How the hell did you manage that?" Cathica said harshly to her. "I'm above you!"

Suki shrugged, "I don't know, I just applied on the off chance and they've said yes!"

"That's so not fair, I've been applying to floor five hundred for three years!"

"Oh get over it!" Alex rolled her eyes at Cathica. Alex, love, if you say anything else about Cathica not getting a promotion, I'm going to burst into tears, along with Rose.

"Alex, shut up!" Rose said, grinding her teeth together.

Alex giggled at Rose and looked up at me, "what's floor five hundred?"

"The walls are made of gold." I smiled down at her. She tilted her head and chuckled at her.

While Rose and I were with Cathica and Suki, Alex was standing in a corner with Adam. I couldn't focus on what Suki was saying. I wanted to know what the hell Adam was saying to Alex. Suki brought me back to reality, "well you're my lucky charm!"

"Alright, I'll hug anyone!" Suki gave me a tight hug, she pulled away and hugged Rose. I looked over at Alex and Adam who were hugging, I'm so throwing him in a blackhole after this. I don't see how Alex hasn't put two and two together that I'm just as jealous of Adam as she is with Cathica. I watched as they both walked away, what are they doing? Where are they going? Alex always tells me where she's off too. Didn't he say something before about trying to be a good influence for her? Well this is certainly not it. Where the hell is he taking her?

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