Song: Dance with my father again.

I think it sets the mood for the last part of the chapter.

Enjoy.

"Hello sister."

Sighing I turn to face her fully a hesitant smile making its way on my lips. "Rudana, it's nice to see you... I guess congratulations are in order."

I really wanted to save this confrontation until the end of the night. That way there would be less people here and I could enjoy my night before all hell broke loose.

"Dad did tell me you were gonna be here but I thought he might have been off his meds again," Rudana says as I stare at her flabbergasted.

"Meds?" I ask confused. "Father's on meds, why?"

As much as I despise what father did to me I can't find it in me to hate him... His actions I loathe but he will always be my father and he may not do the right thing all the time but he provided for me. Some people weren't fortunate enough to have a father in their life like that.

"Yeah... He's been on them for years now," she says nonchalantly. "The doctors say he has a behaviour disorder so they started to treat him for it."

I look at her bewildered. Father, suffered from a behaviour disorder? "What's the name of th-"

"Ah no, if you want to know that's something you and dad should speak about," she says, a hand on her hip. "I'm more concerned about you..."

She eyes my stomach wearily and I mentally prepare myself for the verbal assault. "I thought you were barren?"

That hideous word floats around in my head and I grind my teeth in annoyance. Johnattan holds me tightly, reminding me that he's still here with me all the way and I relax.

"So did I," I say bluntly. "but obviously by the grace of God I'm no longer."

Her eyes then flicker to Johnattan. "And I'm guessing this is the lucky man?"

I nod, looking over at Johnattan who smiles tightly at Rudana while introducing himself. Her eyes widen in surprise as his last name is uttered from his lips and she squints her eyes staring at his masked face.

"You got yourself knocked up by a Blake that's some good work sister," Rudana states with a devious smirk and I stiffen at her words.

I feel Johnattan's palm tighten on my arm and I hear a faint crunch as he clenches his jaw. I wasn't the only one pissed off by Rudana's words.

"I did not purposely get pregnant for a Blake Rudana, unlike you I'm not a gold digging bitch." The words leave my mouth with disgust and Rudana reels back as if I'd slapped her.

"Gold digging bitch, huh?" she asked humourlessly. "I wasn't the one that ran away from her duties and family trying to escape an arranged marriage by crying rape."

"Crying rape?" I ask incredulously. "You think I was lying? You thought I made that shit up because I didn't want to marry that sick bastard? I'm not you Rudana I don't have to make up lies to get what I want in life."

She scoffed glaring at me and I hold her gaze unwaveringly. "You are pathetic Christina... Aren't you going to ever get over yourself? You basically whored yourself out after your mother died and then you make up a lie about my fiancé raping you. Why are you always playing the victim? Why are you always trying to use pity to make your way to the top?"

My hands shake at my side as she speaks and I open my mouth to give her an uncensored piece of my mind when her mother pops into the conversation.

Rachel Authoró is in a black Versace dress with silver designer heels and expensive silver jewellery. Her kinky hair is piled atop her head neatly, not one strand straying to her face and a black and silver mask is being held up by her black gloved hands.

"Rudana darling, what's the matter with you? I could feel your distress from across th-oh," Rachel mutters as her eyes land on me, a grunt escapes her lips before turning into a smile as she notices Johnattan.

"Christina, how nice to see you," she states looking me over. The hostility in her voice is pronounced in her words. "That's a beautiful dress but don't you think white is a little... I don't know too chaste for you?"

Rudana snickers behind her and I grin humourlessly.

"Maybe but we can't all wear our personalities in our outfits ... As black as your heart, am I right?"

She gives me a look of disgust before thrusting her chin in the air. Her eyes then drift to my man and she smiles welcoming him.

"Hello, welcome to my daughter's engagement party," she says to Johnattan ignoring me and I roll my eyes. "I don't believe we've met I'm Mrs. Rachel Authoró -"

"My step mother from hell," I finish for her with an equally disgusted look. "Rachel, this is Johnattan Blake my boyfriend and the father to my children..."

Her eyes widen in shock as looks down at my stomach with a gasp. "You're pregnant? How?"

I'm about to brag the hell in her face when her next words send me spiralling.

"Is it even real?" Rachel mutters.

"Real?" Did she really just fucking asked that? "My babies are more real than those bean bags you have hanging from your chest..."

She recoils in disbelief as I say this and Johnattan stifles a chuckle behind me. Rudana however, looks at me in thought, especially my stomach, before nodding.

"You have a point mother. It looks a little uneven right there..."

She moves forward reaching out a hand to touch my stomach and the back of a suit greets my eyes as Johnattan steps out in front of me. Rudana pauses staring up at him before slowly backing up. His shoulders are tense and his fist clenched. Johnattan was fine with making me deal with these two on my own but now they've crossed a line and he needs to put them back in their place.

"I can assure you Mrs. Authoró these babies are one hundred percent real and I'm sure of this because I'm the one that put them there," he says in a deadpan tone that send dangerous shivers down my spine. He sounds lethal as he speaks. "Now, I'd advise you desist whatever it is you are trying to prove. We're all adults here so let's act that way ladies."

"I'm sorry but this is a family matter so you should stay out of it." Rudana mutters rudely, Johnattan's hands shake as he wills himself to remain calm and I rest my hand on his shoulder soothingly.

"Well those babies are mine and you were just trying to get handsy with them so I guess this is now my matter," he replies coolly as he unclenched his fists, my touch calming him.

Rachel grinds her teeth glaring at us. "How dare-"

"No, how dare you try and verbally assault my girlfriend," Johnattan states as a few people start to look over at us intrigued by the argument brewing. "I am not a man for you to trifle with ladies so I'd advise you to start treating Christina with the respect she deserves."

Rachel and Rudana stare at Johnattan unbelievingly before a scold slips onto their lips. They reel back ready to add fuel to the fire when my father steps forward placing a hand on Rachel's back.

"What's the matter, cara mia?" his powerful, baritone voice asks as he looks down at his wife.

Decked out in a grey Gucci suit with an expensive, silver crown on his head, an authentic fur cloak on his back and a staff in hand, my father comes to stand beside his wife who smiles as she spots him. He wears no mask, his now salt and pepper hair peeking from his crown and falling onto his forehead. I roll my eyes with a grunt at them as Rachel starts to ogle him and soon his sharp eyes zone onto me.

Here we go again... another fight, another insult.

Even though Rachel clings to him, my father pays her no mind, having eyes for only me. His tall frame gives him a good view of my face from behind Johnattan but as I step out from behind him his mouth goes dry. I stare at him unyielding as he observes me especially my stomach.

"Christina..." he speaks my name slowly and sensually with his soft Italian accent as he takes me in.

Those sharp eyes glossing over with emotions I'd never seen coming from him before, they look almost affectionate, regretful and warm. He unwraps Rachel from his body and makes his way towards me, ignoring his wife's lack jaw expression. Johnattan stiffens observing my father wearily as he cups my face and I stare at him shocked to the core.

"Oh Chris, I've missed you so much," he whispers sorrowfully to me but I'm too confused to reply. "Come with me to the office my child, we have so much to discuss... that we need to discuss."

Now I was utterly bemused. Who was this man and what had he done to my father?

***

I stare at the man across the room as he pours me a glass of water.

The room is just as I remember it... large, imperial and dark. My father had a thing for antique furniture and historical designs and when designing the house this was the one room my mother had allowed him to do on his own.

Mom had a more modern sense of style so she and father would clash now again.

"So," my father says as he approaches the chair I am now seated in. "That Johnattan's quite a catch isn't he?"

He hands me the water and I take it, inspecting its content before taking a sip. Sue me if I'm paranoid but I haven't got used to this new persona my father has...

"He is," I say placing the glass on the desk before me.

"He cares too. He'd fought so hard to be in here with you," he states leaning on the desk. "I guess he doesn't trust me."

"He knows what happened those years ago so it's understandable why he'd be cautious of you," I state before sighing after noticing his frown. This needs to move along a little faster "Father, why did you invite me here?"

He regards me with a faint smile and I raise a brow confused.

"Father..." he says with a humourless laugh.

"Isn't that your relation to me?" I ask taken aback. "Or am I reading into it a little too much?"

"I am your father Chris," he states sternly piercing me with those eyes. "It's how distant the word sounds coming from your lips."

I frown looking up at my father who fakes a smile. "Nevertheless, to answer your question my dear... I wanted to see you... to know that you're okay..."

"You could have fooled me," I blurt before I can stop myself. "That letter you sent just reeked of concern and longing didn't it?"

His face falls at my words but he hides it behind a cough. "Would you have come if I'd written and said I wanted to right my wrongs?" I didn't have to reply he already knew my answer. "I used the method I knew would get you here... I wanted to see you... to as I said... right my wrongs."

I laugh humourlessly. "Right your wrongs? How can you make up for putting my mom through hell for all those years? How can you make up for forcing me into an abortion? It's just not possible at this stage."

Even though my anger is burning I calmly ask these questions and I'm quite proud of myself.

"I-I..." he says as he tries to think of what to say.

"You can't," I state with a sigh. "All these years I blamed myself for allowing you to persuade me into getting an abortion... I'd gone around trying to make up for the control I lacked in those times... It didn't work... I learned that it wasn't my fault, I was the victim in all of this and that I-I didn't kill my bab-"

Taking a deep breath, I swallow my pain and I look up at the man that raised me with a broken gaze. "I'm really tired of explaining myself to people, father. I'm pregnant, tired and miserable. I can't handle another face off right now. If you really want to make it up to me, if you're really genuine in your request... all you have to do is apologize to me."

As the words leave my mouth he looks at me unbelievingly, hell if I was him I'd be looking at me the same way. I'm not the most forgiving person and he knows it.

"I just want you to confess. Tell what it is that you did wrong and apologize. I lost my mother years ago and a part of you too... I don't want to lose forever dad. I want you to be the loving grandpa to my children and a loving father to your daughter. They deserve to have that. They shouldn't see us at each other's throat or not see you at all. All I ask is for you to confess your sins and promise to do better... If not for me or mom for your grandchildren because they deserve so much more from you..."

After all, you did kill their sibling... No stop it Tina. This is not the time to do this.

I'm growing tired of holding a grudge against my father. He may have hurt me in the past but now is his chance to correct them and make a better future. My dad isn't perfect but if he's true to his words, he'll be willing to admit what he's done and take full responsibility. The sooner we try and resolve the problem the easier it will be to move forward. As hard as it is for me to forgive him, I had to try. I'd already lost my mother; I didn't want to lose my father. My babies had lost a grandmother and I'd be damned if I'd let them lose their grandfather too.

"Chris," my father murmurs sorrowfully as he cups my cheeks, wiping away tears. I was crying?

I sniffle a little as his glossy, dark brown eyes observe me. They held so much guilty and resentment but not for me... "Christina, I suffer from Impulsive Control Disorder."

His words stun me and my eyes search his face, confusion etched onto my features. What is he talk about?

"It's a behaviour disorder. My exact diagnosis is that I have intermittent explosive disorder, which is a form of ICD. This disorder... it's usually associated with persistent temper tantrums or explosive episodes. Violence, aggression, rage, verbal outbursts, threats, and physical harm to people or things may accompany these episodes. It may only last about for about a half-hour and happens suddenly, with no warning and usually are months apart. They told me at the doctor that irritability, anger, and impulsivity are additional symptoms of IED. Sometimes I may feel energetic or my thoughts are racing, a tingling in the extremities, chest pain, tremors and all the works when experiencing an outburst. Afterwards I feel fatigued and relieved but most of all remorseful or regretful."

He caresses my cheek with a sad smile before continuing. "Those times I-I touched your mother inappropriately, it wasn't intentional, Chris. I couldn't control it... I struggled to. The medications, they weren't working and my family nagging at us to get another child just sent me over the edge. I didn't mean to hit her, I apologized over and over again every time it happened but it didn't chase away the guilt I felt..."

More tears come to my eyes as I watch the heart wrenching expression that takes over my father's face. "Rachel... what we did was an accident. I was drunk at a bar, I was upset about that I'd done to Iona and Rachel took advantage of my drunken state. When I found out she was pregnant Iona told me that I needed to take care of that child no matter the circumstances he or she was created under and she made me promise to never abandon Rachel or they baby. Rachel and I never touched each other after that night... not until the night y-your mother died. I was numb, lost, alone and she was just there."

"I don't want to -"

"I decided to marry her because of what Iona said Chris. I had to take care of Rudana and you needed a motherly figure," he states cutting me off. "That night when you came to me telling me what Liam had done I didn't believe you... I guess I chose not to believe you. I thought you were rebelling and I thought you just wanted to get out of the marriage. Liam was financially stable, good looking and you took an interest in him. I thought he would have taken care of you, protect you... and because of that I let him get away with it... I'm so sorry Chris."

Tears fell from his sadden eyes and I grab his arm standing up to bury my head in his chest. His hands wrap around me holding me tight as we wept and I can't help but snuggle into his brace. Dad tucks my head under his chin as he whispers sorry over and over again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I croak from his chest.

"I didn't want you to look at me every day wondering whether I'd go off and start attacking you. I didn't want you to see me like that. I-I... I should have Chris and for that I'm so sorry baby girl. I wish I could have-"

"It's okay," I murmur. "As sad as all of this is if that'd never happened I wouldn't have met Johnattan... He's genuine Dad and he loves me and I love him."

My father kisses my forehead before rubbing my arms soothingly and I sigh. "I'm happy that he makes you happy Chris. That's all I ever wanted for you. To be loved, protected and cared for... The way I couldn't have cared for you... I love you Christina and I truly loved your mother. She was the one good thing in my life and I-I ..."

"I know, Dad. I know," I smile sadly. "I forgive you, not just for what you'd done to me but on mom's behalf..."

He whispers a thank you to me cradling me in his arms with a tear stricken face. I release a sob-laugh, happy to have all this hate and anger this off my chest, I felt light, relieved and I finally understood what had happened in that part of my life.

I grip his waist as he rocks me soothingly, loving the feeling of being held by my father after so many years... being held by my dad after so many years. Being able to be with my father again.

**

Family.

Untied we stand, divided we fall.